"Phil Good"

How I Learned to Network

2012-01-26T14:58:00.000-08:00

I wrote an article on networking for work, but totally missed the mark and the article wasn't professional enough to be included for our newsletter purposes... it also didn't address the right audience and was basically rejected. But the nice thing about having your own personal blog is you get to publish whatever you want. And I did want to still publish it because seriously... if someone had told me this before I started interviewing for jobs in college, I might not have felt so ill prepared.

I’ve alwaysviewed networking as hard work, difficult, daunting and at times awkward. I still have nightmares about the mortifyingexperience of showing up to a “Meet the Firms” in college, where I reached outto shake the hand of a partner for the secondtime when he extended his hand to shake someone else’s hand and then triedto pass it off as an effort to snag one of the branded highlighters they were usingto entice us college kids. I also havefound myself spitting up spoonerisms or unintentional tongue twisters and cometo the epiphany that I cannot attend networking functions in a suit jacket dueto my profuse sweating. Luckily, withtime, some maturity and some very effective coaching, I have learned the tricksand tools of successful networking and have not had any reenactments of myprior networking nightmares. Here’s someinsight into what I learned about networking, simplified by being a PRICK (easy to remember!)

P - Prepare – Some people are interesting and knowlost of random trivia facts, the news, the sports, and the most up to datecelebrity gossip. I, unfortunately, amnot one of these people. So before goinganywhere where I might be networking, or trying to make a good impression(think a job’s meet and greet or a networking night), I try to brush up on theday’s headlines. This helps me openconversation up and gives me a lead in to talk about something I do haveknowledge of, and more often than not, it just helps me participate in aconversation without being completely MIA. This means when conversation turns to something I can participate in, Iam easily able to jump in and contribute whether it be about family, interests,weekend activities, etc.

R -Relax - Theestablishment of strong relationships with your networks is most likely linkedto the fact that you are yourself and thereby, relaxed. It’s important to still be on your bestbehavior with decision makers, but try not to be so stiff and unnatural or youmay come across as unapproachable and be tagged as socially awkward. You candraw upon your prepared (see above) topics to as an ice breaker, but once theconversation gets going, steering it towards something you can naturallyparticipate will lead to the most success. The most successful networking conversations I have ever had were when Irelaxed and just talked about something interesting (rather than stiffly tryingto sound intelligent by talking about something I have little knowledge of,like sports).

I –Invest – You must makethe investment to build relationships. Connectionscan be made almost anywhere - in elevators, hallways, doctor’s offices, thegrocery store, gyms, weddings, church, or even sporting events. Becausethose connections are made at places where you are naturally inclined to be,the development of the relationship will not feel like work, but will be anenjoyable process. Likewise, don’t hatethe social networking websites that can help you keep in touch and continuegrowing your network. When I firstjoined LinkedIn, it was simply an outlet for me to keep in touch withco-workers away from Facebook, which was my personal networking site. In actuality, both networking sites are valuableinvestments that have expanded my network. And lastly, don’t forget about buildingon existing relationships with your current co-workers. They may not seem like a valuable networksince they work in the same industry, know the same people, and if and whenthey seek for a career change, it will probably be quite similar to whateveryou are looking for. But your currentco-workers actually know you best and know the skillset and experiences youhave had, can easily relate, and are your best advocates. Further, if they should leave and become apast co-worker, they may have insight into new openings not posted and viceversa.

C- Connect - Consider fora moment the last time you were truly excited to help someone. Contrastthat experience to the last time someone blatantly tried to capitalize on a“networking” relationship. What led to the difference in attitude? I find that I get excited to help people with whom I have a real connection;otherwise, it feels like a chore, as if I am trying to store up credit in caseI need their help in the future. So connect with whomever you are talkingto as it will not only help you have an enjoyable networking experience, butwill help others remember you. Inconnecting, it’s perfectly acceptable to keep in touch. I send e-mails every now and then to peopleI’ve met who helped counsel or answer any questions I’ve had. It makes reaching out for future questions orinteractions a lot smoother and more natural.

K– Keep at it –Networking is not a one time deal. Don’tget discouraged by one awful encounter (like my college networking nightmares),and don’t get down on yourself when someone doesn’t respond to your outreach. The more you network, the more it becomes apart of who you are. In time, yournetwork will be unbelievably large, strong, and insanely awesome.

me hard at work

Happy Chinese New Year!

2012-01-24T01:01:00.000-08:00

I didn't have any shark fin soup this year for Chinese New Year's. Last year, I couldn't have any because I was pregnant.... this year I didn't have any because we spent New Year's with my mom's side of the family instead (and my dad's sister is the one who knows how to cook it.. it's a pretty hard recipe from what I hear). My mom, dad and brother were sadly absent from the festivities here in the U.S.... probably having a more authentic and elaborate celebration in Taiwan. With the Chinese New Year being such a big deal in our family... it was kind of strange not having them around this year, so it was nice (and a sigh of relief that I didn't have to try my hand at some Chinese dishes) when my uncle invited the three of us over to his house to celebrate.

Besides the extensive menu of fish (it's important to eat, supposed to be good for the upcoming year), pork, chicken, and other stuff I'm incapable of translating, we watched football and drank a lot of apple cider (which my cousins got for us as they drank Taiwan Beer, yet at the end of the night, everyone was drinking apple cider because let's face it... it tastes way better than beer). We did come up with the realization that once our parents are gone... none of us know how to cook Chinese food the way they do. That's going to be a sad day but probably remedied by a lot of take-out from fobby Chinese restaurants.

Now the tradition of lucky red envelope or hong baos is you stop receiving once you're married and have to give a red envelope once you are married to the single children. So we gave my thirteen year old cousin a small red envelope for the new year and scored with Jordan who left with five red envelopes! He didn't care for the green inside, but he sure loved those red envelopes this morning! He's meticulously inspecting each one before tasting them, and he decided that wealth tastes bittersweet.

Gong Xi Fa Tsai! Good fortune and propserity and hopes for a dragon Phillips baby, though a snake would be okay too...as my uncle reminded my recently married cousin and her husband they had three more months to make a dragon baby!

The lucky platter of fruit and Chinese candies and nuts

Our Chinese New Year meal!

My racist cousins. Note Cindy told her husband to put up a peace sign, then advised him to squint his eyes. Yes, that's my family folks.

Marriage = A Lifetime of Cooking

2012-01-22T13:59:00.000-08:00

My mom told me not to bother learning to cook until after I was married. She said I'd be doing it for the rest of my life, so like it or not, I'd learn to love it.

It was probably one of her best pieces of advice. .. .. ... . ever!

Before I was married... I knew how to make a killer smoothie, a notoriously delicious salad, and an incredible sandwich. Oh, and I knew how to cut some fruit. That's all a single lady really needs to know. That, and where the frozen food section in your local Trader Joe's is. I also knew the best places for breakfast, dessert, dinner and happy hour all over LA.

Now that I've been married for a little over a year and acquired $100K in student debt, eating out is not an option. So I have dived headfirst into the world of cooking. I have slowly learned English names of vegetables (even though I'm American Born Chinese, it's surprising how little I know in a grocery store besides the basic vegetables), acquired a few new cooking tools along the way, and I am slowly making my way into hoity toity cooking (last night, I made a butternut squash with carmelized onions, gorgonzala, cheddar, and spinach pizza!... I made the dough myself, and this morning, I made us omelettes, an egg white one for me, with bacon, cheddar, red bell peppers, onions and squeezed some fresh OJ!.. welcome to Dining with Daisy!).

No, I never took home-ec in school though I wish I did. Instead, my marriage is homemaking 101.

In just a year and a half of marriage, I have learned:
1) what pork roast looks like
2) where everything is in a grocery store
3) what simmer means
4) how to pronounce colander INcorrectly (some things won't change)
5) how to cook butternut squash
6) how to cut a pineapple
7) how to chop an onion
8) how to sugar my nuts
9) how to make bread from scratch

And most importantly...

10) that my guinea pig husband loves me as he eats everything I make with a smile and tells me it's good (he doesn't lie, but I notice when his mom or sister cooks, he says how good it is with real zest, the same zest I have only been lucky to hear from my own creations on a few occasions).

But I won't lie.. cooking almost everyday can become tiring... so I'm grateful my husband is so encouraging. Thanks soy sauce! You're the best and I'm glad I get to cook for you almost every night!

Oh... and... that bacon makes anything delicious. Even whipped cream from a can. Yes... try it, then knock it.

Cuddly Baby

2012-01-20T22:36:00.000-08:00

My baby's been super cuddly lately. He wants nobody but me, not even his Daddy will do. If I leave him on the floor, he'll crawl over to me, pull himself up, and bounce up and down in his standing position, content just to be near me. If he's tired and not in his usual chipper mood, that's not enough and he wants to be cuddled, but only by me! Sometimes he'll crawl and mumble, "mum mum mum" in between small tears, unaware what it means, only a mutter used to get my attention. I've never felt so loved! Nothing can compare to the bit of pride sprinkled with a bit of guilt and pity for Andy since Jordan obviously prefers me now (I'm sure that won't last when mom's telling him to pick up his toys and dad is full of fun games and sports talk).

The last time Jordan really cuddled with us was around three months old, this new phase of his is quite refreshing. Some things haven't changed in the eight months of Jordan's life... like how much he still loves the Bjorn, being held upside down, having his legs pulled straight (Asian wives' tale to get longer straighter legs), taking a bath, and smiling. Other things... like the difficulty of changing his diaper, putting him to sleep, and putting his clothes on, continue to baffle me.

He loves balls, ropes, electronic devices (remote controllers, beepers, and phones) credit cards, putting all of these into his mouth, crawling, standing, Baby Einstein, and yours truly.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with his obsession of me, but then I remember... this won't last forever and he will grow up and not want to hug mom anymore. So for now, I am indulging in the moment, taking it all in, and loving it. Okay, so maybe not all the time, but I'm trying... and I remind myself of the honor and the greatness of being all that he wants sometimes.

Funny enough, for how much he loves me, I hardly have any photos of just him and me. Better start asking strangers to take photos for me, or learn how to take better reverse shots of us (it's hard because all I focus on is how I look - egotistical me, and Jordan is always not paying attention when I look good hahahahaha).

Us at the BYU vs UCI volleyball game where the Cougars beat the Anteaters. I know, Anteaters... really?

I Kissed His Poop

2012-01-16T16:28:00.000-08:00

So many titles could have graced the headline of this blog post.

The Dirty Truth

Full of Crap

Covered in Poop

Stink of Motherhood

But nothing really resonated as much as I kissed poop... which is exactly what I thought with a huge face palm doh moment in my mind as I kissed it. Of course it was not intentional. Poop got on my son's arms and I washed it off... then, wanting to make sure it was scrubbed enough, I leaned in close to take a whiff... missed and ended up kissing some of the poop... which was really more like diarrhea but poop sounds better than I kissed number 3. Yes, by the color and texture, I should have known and not even have gotten close with my nose, but one does not think logically when caught in a stressful situation like this. At least I did not.

This morning, Jordan and I went to our local "My-Gym" for free gym play time with Jessie and her mom! My mom wanted Jordan and I to go to some Mommy and Me classes (with my work at home schedule and her close by, I don't make the effort to get with other moms for playdates as often as I should) so she paid for us to go for a few months. So far, Jordan's loving it and the open crawl space and new toys always excite him. However, this morning.. he looked gloomy. Like something was on his mind. Like he was distracted. He was probably not feeling well.. as moments after we left, he yelled in his carseat while stretching out as if to break loose from the carseat. We were on our way to Target when a huge fart-o-riffic- came out and I immediately flipped a U and turned us around to go home.

We got home five minutes later... and as I unbuckled Jordan from his carseat (he had fallen asleep at this point), I felt his back... soaked. I took a blanket in the car (always have extra blankets in the car!), wrapped it around him from waist down, and noticing the carseat cushions were also plagued, took those with me as well. Somewhere along the way, I think poop got on my jacket or my face... but I didn't notice... my only mission was to get to the apartment from the guest parking lot (it's actually a long walk.. I think a quarter of a mile) with Jordan propped in one arm, without his poop getting on more of me, and the obnoxiously overstuffed diaper bag on my other arm and my small purse, which I began using to store just my wallet and phone for times when I leave Jordan with Andy or want to run an errand and the diaper bag is close by in the car....

Off to the apartment we went. It was a difficult journey. It really did feel long. My arms are really a lot more toned than they used to be because of Jordan. We eventually made it. Many breaths, spoken words of encouragement from myself, and steps later.

Once inside, I assessed the damage. Somehow, the diarrhea made its way to the outside of the diaper... into his pants...up his back... onto his onesie... and a little bit of the long sleeve shirt I put over his onesie. So trying to take off his clothes... only made it worse as the poop got partially on his arms... and up higher on his back. The blanket also had gashes of leftover remnants. All I could think to do was wash off the poop. So into the sink he went.... and then I noticed it on his arms... and without thinking, I washed and once done... bent over to smell his arms to make sure the stink was gone.... and that's when it happened.

I kissed his poop.

I know I should have just LOOKED at it. But really.. my senses weren't functioning entirely. I thought SMELLING it would somehow be superior to LOOKING at it.

That's not even the scariest part. The scariest part is I was completely unfazed. I knew what had to get done.. and I worked like a madwoman, washing.. scrubbing... cleaning... disinfecting...and laughing hysterically while wondering if my phone was within reach for some post poop photos... madwoman I tell you!

Notice the bright mustard color?

I have had a mustard obsession for a few years now. All of a sudden, mustard clothing doesn't seem that desirable anymore.

Sleep

2012-01-14T08:48:00.000-08:00

I miss you. I long for you. I wish you would come back into my life. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you. Where are you? Do you think of me too? Do you miss me? Do you think we'll ever meet again? They say if you love something... to let it go and if it's yours... it will come back to you. I'd like to be optimistic... but I'm quite the sure the future will not bring us together... but throw us farther apart.

Oh right.. and that baby who now pulls up and cries doesn't help either. That's why God made babies so cute and edible. So when you're sleep deprived.... just one look has you melting with joy.

His New Best Friend

2012-01-12T23:17:00.000-08:00

Jordan's too young to date, but he's taken a liking to girls. He seems easily distracted by pretty girls, he especially likes the big bows parents put on their short haired daughters, and ruffles. And apparently, he likes the older ladies... those dang 2 year olds, they sure are hot although they still scare him since they can walk and he can't, so instead... he's been pretty infatuated with Jessie lately.

Jessie is exactly one week older than Jordan! We have plans for date swaps with her parents and I am excited for Jordan because he seems to light up when Jessie is around (okay, maybe not "light" up, but at least he doesn't get scared... that's a huge step here). With the two of them being so close in age, it's fun to observe their reactions to each other because they are both the first kids and their development and size are similar.. it's absolutely adorable!

I've noticed that Jordan is also very calm around Jessie... partly because she's so darn cute, but it also might be because older kids (even by a few months) might trample on him and are more aggressive and therefore, sometimes scare him. He's a shy little boy. Little babies, on the other hand, are just objects for him to grab at and I get nervous when he's playing with them. I'm a paranoid mom. But see, with Jessie... Jordan just grabs her shirt.. she grabs his... he grabs her hair bows, she grabs his face, it is very friendly and comfortable for both of them, nothing intimidating, nothing alarming... just nice.

This is from when Jordan and Jessie were about 5 months! He's already very protective of her.

The Diaper Days of Our Lives

2012-01-11T22:37:00.000-08:00

It started out as a meaningless battle. They all do. Small insignificant scratches, some pinching even. Grew into painful wounds. Cries of discomfort. Cries of pain. Cries of anger. Yelling. So much yelling. Screaming. So much screaming. Innocent bystanders, looking from the sidelines, unsure whether to laugh or cry. Helpless victims. Scars that may not fade away, not even with time. The images in my mind... they don't stop. The fear of it happening all over again.

Here is how I change Jordan's diaper now. Both legs pin his arms down as his face turns beet red from the wails and resistance. His legs are motionless in the photo, but in reality, they kick out and down, banging the floor and making the already difficult task of changing a diaper upside down, even more challenging. Sometimes, I think he is in pain. Are my thunder thighs suffocating him? Is the upside down view of Mommy too much? Is his bum more red than I can see from where I currently reside during changes? Abandon those thoughts! Any weakness will enable him to escape! To roll over, diaperless, maybe staining the floor, or worse, your pants *gulp, man up! Suck it up! No prisoners!

How do I know I'm not really hurting him? That it's all a game to him? That I must contain the situation and ensure victory on my part before he goes to war with me?!

Because within nanoseconds, he's smiling and cooing, and playing all around.

Sneaky little cute adorable precious baby of mine. Please stop rolling over during diaper changes. Or at least poop when Daddy is home so I have an extra pair of hands to help me!

I waive my white flag of surrender. The Huggies diapers (on sale at Costco now!) that have a longer side flap, superior to Kirkland brand's tiny flaps that Jordan can wiggle out of.

The Power of Moms

2012-01-10T16:19:00.000-08:00

So I am a sucker for baby websites, parenting magazines, self improvement books, etc. and yes, I have been reading up on being a mom. I understand that there's not prerequisite for being a parent, one just has to get busy and be lucky enough to conceive and then nine gruesome months later... you're with child! But being a parent is so important... I always want to know more and be better safe than sorry. Yes, I know my parents didn't do it that way.... yes, I know I still survived mom, but I still want to know what's out there and better prepare myself for the next twenty some years of life as a mother. And, sometimes... when it's really tough and I just want to moan and groan and complain instead of remembering the good and knowing it's a blessing, I need support from other moms who have been through it. That's when talking with other moms, or asking how another mom did it... really comes in handy.

That said, do you know how excited I was to stumble across the Power of Moms website.?! Imagine me with my mouth open, and two hands holding up three with my thumb and pinky bent on both sides to make a big "WOW." I was stoked! The website offers free webinars, resources, blog links, learning tools, and awesome essays from real moms.

To make things even better, I found out they are having a Power of Moms retreat in Southern California the last week of January in La Canada! That's super close to me! The price was a bit hefty so I quickly e-mailed them with our struggling student status, asking if I could offer to help out in exchange for a reduced rate and lucky for me, they said yes! Woo-hoo!!! I can't wait to go to the retreat, to hear the wisdom (or craziness, only time will tell) from the other moms, and leave a little stronger and more prepared at this whole complicated and sometimes very difficult, but always rewarding, yes even when he poops on me or bites my boob, job of motherhood). It's like I'm still working and I'm going to a big conference, except it's for my new job... the one as a mom. I can't wait! Side note, what does one wear to something like this?...

Anyway, I should be working but I just spent some time reading an article on the Power of Moms website and wanted to share it because it's so good! It's entitled "It's Not Just You," check it out, very quick read and very true (at least for me).

Silver Lining

2012-01-08T17:58:00.000-08:00

It's easy to complain. I'm good at it. In fact, I'll bet you're also good at it. Everyone's good at it. There's not a person I can think of who is bad at complaining. It's one of those easy to dos, cross it off my list, give myself a pat on the back and call it a day because you have succeeded at the art of complaining. In fact, I am a certified bona fide complainer.

But trying not to complain-- to take things as they are, to look to the silver lining and give gratitude for things we have instead of wishing for things we don't, now that is hard. Harder than hard. Hardest. Harder than hardest. Near impossible. Mission impossible. No can do, no way jose. Don't even think about it.

Our car got broken into while visiting Andy's sister last weekend. Okay, let's be real - we left the door unlocked and now, we are without our GPS and a set of keys which had access to our home and two cars. So now, wherever we go, whenever we leave or arrive, I turn to Andy and ask, "Did we lock our door?" Normally, he might roll his eyes at my paranoia, but now, he focuses... ponders and if he's unsure, one of us goes off to make sure it's locked. Better safe than sorry. Wish we thought of that before....

Our car got a flat tire this past weekend, also while visiting Andy's sister (yes, we're still here two weeks later and it's been a blast!). I hate flat tires. My fear for driving longer than 30 minutes on unfamiliar freeways is due mainly to the likelihood of getting a flat tire, followed by gang bangers shining their brights and coming after me for gang initiation, and of course, the crazy psycho whois probably stalking me from afar and will open my doors and come into my car while I'm at a stoplight (hence my doors are always locked) and threaten me with a real gun. Paranoid much?

But the silver lining is... our car's most expensive item... our awesome Urbo stroller (market value $500, price to us: free courtesy of my mom's friends who manufacture Urbos in China) did not get stolen. Jordan's bjorn, his new attachable seat for restaurants, his carseat, and my Camelback, also did not get stolen. We did not get a flat tire while I drove back alone at 5 AM from SFO to Tammy's on the newly downloaded GPS app from the iPhone.

There is always a silver lining. And, with everything that happens in this life... sometimes we're just not privy to the bigger picture until later. Yeah, I am still confident the same perpetrator who broke into our car and took our valuables left a nail in my tire, but until I can prove it and catch the thief... I am so grateful that my baby stuff was safe, that I made it home safely, and that I was at Tammy's where we took her car instead of mine, hence we found the tire when it was super flat instead of driving on it.

Silver lining.

Always.

All I Want(ed) For Christmas

2012-01-02T18:09:00.000-08:00

was some much needed sleep!

For those who know me well, I don't care to sleep much. I hate taking naps (I feel like my time has been stolen from me when I wake up two hours later because I can't do the twenty minute power naps, mine always end two hours later) but even I need a solid seven hours (which has been unheard of since having Jordan in our life).

Lucky parents with kids who sleep through the night are something to be envied. For a mere while, I counted myself lucky as my sweet son slept through the night. That quickly changed with teething, crawling, and an overall desire to play instead of sleep. It's always obvious when Jordan is tired, without fail he rubs his eyes and screams as he's falling asleep. He will do whatever he can to stay awake, including hitting his toys so the noise will keep him up.

A wish came true this Christmas as Andy and I both got the chance to sleep in while Andy's parents and uncle played with Jordan every morning, enabling us to sleep in a bit. You see, even if your child is an angel baby who sleeps through the night (unfortunately ours does not), babies are unaware of the adjustment in weekend sleep schedules so when you stay up until midnight or beyond, thinking you can salvage the lack of sleep with a later wake up the subsequent day, your child disregards this and is up and ready at the same time as normal, which for us is 7 AM. Sleep was all I wanted for Christmas (okay, that and this amazing Anthropologie candle) and I got it! And much much more...

My family has never been religious so Christmas being a big deal is sort of new to me. We always had family dinner and presents when we were younger, but as we grew older, I can recall many times when it was just me and my brother eating together (the last time I remember was Christmas 2008 celebrated at Cheesecake Factory while our parents went out with their friends). For those who treasure Christmas, that might seem odd or even sad, but really, it was great and we all enjoyed it. Nobody complained, felt cheated, or thought it was un-Christmas. Christmas was just another day that gave us a day off and an excuse to get together with family but as we grew older, it wasn't always convenient or necessary to get the entire extended family together, and the sentiment translated to our immediate family and didn't seem a big deal since we always ate together a lot anyway. The presents stopped when I got to college, but if we ever see anything that we know the other person would enjoy, we never hesitate to get it for them. So Christmas is really year round for my family in the material aspect. As for the Christ centered part, it's non-existent. Church for Christmas? Not us.

So it's no surprise that this year, my first Christmas with a son was really tender. It's not that last year wasn't, but this year turned my attention to all the thoughtful mothers who put so much time and effort into making Christmas special for their children, both by ensuring they understand it's a celebration of Christ's birth and that the greatest gift was given to all of us. I cynically agree that Christmas shouldn't be the only time we have an excuse to give, that it should be part of our everyday tasks and thoughts, but I now see that it's not just Christmas that we give... we simply give even more during Christmas.

At first, I was overwhelmed with the presents we had to get everyone, the related costs, and how behind I felt (both in how unfestive our house was, how many nativities we lacked, and how little time we had to get everything), but my sweet husband showed me that it wasn't just about spending money (cuz if it was, I'm pretty good at that!), but being thoughtful in our gifts. We carefully thought of things that each person would enjoy (we had some help with some wish lists) and put forth the time to make some gifts, and order others.

Christmas was amazing. I had such a great time and in fact, I'm still on Christmas break, but my part-time from home job doesn't really allow for vacation, so I'm also still working and hence, the lack of blog posts.

a snapshot from a book we made Andy's uncle called Found a Peanut. Yes, Jordan, at age zero, has already published two books, the other is called If You Give Jordan a Sweet Potato. We used a website called lulu.com, not to be confused with Lululemon, another favorite (but one we cannot currently afford, though my friend Sara gave me a tip that the factory stores have amazing deals!).

Wedding Advice from the Pros

2011-12-26T21:17:00.000-08:00

Last Friday, Andy and I went to our first wedding post baby and I came to an epiphany about weddings... they are much more fun when they aren't yours!

We went to the wedding of an old co-worker of mine from the Firm (who I've known for six years!) at the Smog Shoppe. The Smog Shoppe, for those who do not stalk Los Angeles wedding blogs often, is literally the facade of a smog shop, an old run down and a bit ghetto from the outside with an overflow of green foliage seeping from the outskirts of the wall. On the inside, it is hipsterly awesome.

As we witnessed James and Stella become husband and wife (which was super sweet and cute as they touched on how the two met... someone suggested they go out... he called, she was busy, he didn't call back, they found each other on match.com and finally went out thinking their options might be limited the longer they waited... and the rest is history!). As they were getting married, I couldn't help but notice the glow against the white bricks which were landscaped with an assortment of plants...absolutely breathtaking! It was stunning, and I can only imagine what it would have looked like in the day. Following the reception, we hung out for a bit at the posh black leather vintage couches in a corner with other firm co-workers, some current, some alum like myself, and I felt quite hipster. Yeah, that's me - I'm hip, I'm cool. Once the furniture moving was complete (they changed the courtyard from a ceremony venue to a lounge like atmosphere with a buffet table), we made our way inside the garage of the smog shop for the dinner reception which had garage doors unlike any I have ever seen at a smog shop - as in, these were basically a stack of huge windows on a garage door. There was a giant ceiling fan which was probably 15 feet in diameter and on one end of the inside room was a giant movie screen wall that fit the entire wall and on the other side was a bookshelf with old books and large alphabet letters. For photos of the Smog Shoppe, go here and here.

So back to my epiphany about weddings being more fun when they're not yours... absolutely!! I got to hang out with other couples throughout cocktail hour before dinner, munch on all the weird mochi balls they had (Korean caterer), oohh and ahhh about the bride's beautiful lace gown, laughed at the groom and his single days when he vowed he would never get married until he met his match aka his best friend ever (I mean really, this guy dated the weirdest girls and even had to change his personalized license plate once ex-girlfriends started keying it...), made fun of the groom's ugly dog and question why he was missing from the reception, overfilled our candy bags at the candy bar (by the way, we were probably the first to approach the bar because that's how we roll), towered our plates with a little bit of everything since it was a buffet line we didn't plan on visiting it again, pointed out which girl was the bride in the slideshow to my husband, and then overheard my friend Jen telling her husband the same thing, jumped out of our seats when the MC announced the photo booth was now available (and then sat back down after realizing the embarrassment of being a little too over eager but then laugh at the fact that Andy was still standing and only retreated back to his seat when he noticed none of us had intended to really go right away....and we did eventually all go after Andy convinced us to beat the crowd), hunted down the girl passing out wedding cake, and best of all... enjoyed my sponsored date with the hubs, our longest date away from our seven month old son to date (the other being the four hour timeshare presentation we went to and left with two free trips).

And, among the fun that was had... the couples ... all three of us... came up with some good wedding advice for the newlywed couple. The guys decided being sent to their wives's purses to retreat stuff was the worse and the girls, we just laughed. We talked with the other couples about Christmas gifts, and I learned that guys do not appreciate gifts that are not truly for them and more for the couple. This includes, but is not limited to, televisions and speaker systems (because everyone gets to enjoy it, not just them...) but apparently purses are just for the girls (even though guys stuff all their junk into them). It was really funny to realize all the other couples have the same man vs woman issues that we all encounter and laugh about. And we all talked about how fast our own weddings went, how we didn't feel like we got to see or talk to anyone, and how this wedding was so much more enjoyable than our own! Hahaha.

Me and Jen

Merry Christmas Friends!

2011-12-25T13:51:00.000-08:00

I decided to ~~go green~~ be cheap and not send Christmas cards by snail mail to everyone. However, the lucky few who get snail mail cards (family, close adult friends and parents of our friends) won't even get them until after Christmas since we failed to mail everything out in time. Big oops.

So here's the sneak preview for the rest of the world.

Update: the letter that we sent with our photo this year...probably the only time you will see something written by Andy:

Merry Christmas!

According to the Chinese Zodiac, this was the Golden Year ofthe Rabbit. According to my zodiac, itwas the year of the Jimmer. He won everyplayer of the year award possible (except for the point guard award—weird,right?), was drafted in the top 10 by the Kings, and was the sole reason Iwanted the NBA season to happen this year. Thankfully, the NBA figured things out, and Jimmer was able to make hisrookie debut last night. He was trulyJimmerific, and I am hoping for an equally Jimazing debut as a rookie Christmasletter writer.

The year began with Daisy and I trying to figure out thename of our unborn son. It was a lotsimpler than I was anticipating. As soonas the idea for Jordan Dennis Phillips came up, we were both sold. The only hesitation we had was when my dad, aDennis himself, felt the need to warn us that anyone with the name Dennis wouldlikely have a “menacing” phase. We feltthe name was perfect, and couldn’t be deterred.

Jordan eventually arrived on April 30^th, and hasbeen the opposite of a menace up to this point. Although he didn’t figure out how to smile until he was about 4 months,he has been smiling ever since! He isalready a frequent flier, having flown to Orlando (for Harry Potter World),Salt Lake, Chicago, and Columbus; we were able to make all those flightswithout getting dirty looks from fellow patrons. All during the BYU Football season, he was alsothere to wipe my tears. He has trulybeen an angel. Recently, he has shownglimmers of what my dad described, as he has learned how to make changingdiapers and clothes more of a game than we would like. Further, the world, or our living room, hasbecome quite the oyster for him as he recently learned to crawl and is just startingto pull himself up.

Daisy began the year still a portfolio manager for the Firm, tooka nice long break for maternity leave, and recently made the transition toworking from home part time for BlueSky Professional Services Group. They are an executive search firm with personnelall over the country. The job’sflexibility has allowed her and Jordan to accompany me on a number of interviewtrips. In addition to her new part time job,and looking after Jordan, she continues to write (both for the Phillips blog,and for an online magazine, Latter-day Woman), enjoys working out at hipsterfitness classes, and is learning how to be a homemaker (which includes sewingand other crafty stuff as well as expanding her arsenal of delicious meals).

I am currently finishing up my 4^th and final yearof medical school. I finally decidedwhat type of residency program to apply to, and am currently interviewing forspots with radiology residency programs around the country. I have absolutely no idea where we will benext year, as residency positions are determined by something called the“match.” Every applicant and everyprogram ranks each other, and some computer (hopefully one smarter than the BCScomputer that re-matched Alabama and LSU for the title game) will pair upprograms with applicants, thus matching us up. Then sometime in March, we have a ceremony where we get to find outwhere we matched. Outside of school, Iam just enjoying watching my son get closer and closer to one day holding agolf club.

As exciting as 2011 was for us, we can’t wait for what 2012will bring. With Jordan and Daisy by my side, it’s boundto be... unfreddateable!

Insight Into Being Unique

2011-12-20T12:39:00.000-08:00

Growing up, people always called me weird. It didn't stop once I grew up. In college, at work, in real life. But being weird isn't so bad when your other half is just as weird.

Yesterday, as we were packing for our short trip to Arizona for Andy's interviews, I started to sing a song. It went a little something like this.

I need new clothes! I need new clothes! I need some new clothes so I can be pretty. I need new clothes, oh I need new clothes, don't you know that I need new clothes?!

Instead of telling me my song sucked, or ignoring me, Andy joined me with the same melody as he sang, "We don't have money, we don't have money, we don't have money so you'll just have to wait."

I came back with the chorus, "oh but I need new clothes, I need new clothes, if only I had some new new clothes!"

The cacophony of Andy's notes rang loud again, "You'll have to wait, you'll have to wait, you'll have to wait to get new clothes."

Then, on the drive over, we played two truths and a lie.
I started off with, "One time, a guy had a crush on me and-" "LIE!" he interjected before I could finish my statement. Gee, thanks hubs.

But I think that's what makes being married to Andy so fun. He really is my best friend. The one you want to sometimes kick. The one you want to sometimes hug. The one you miss. The one you laugh at. The one you laugh with. The one you fart in front of. The one you make smell your breath to see if it's okay. The one you complain to. The one you tell everything to (even if he's not listening). The one you think about often. The one you love tremendously. The one you can every once in a while, pridefully ask, can you believe we created this cute kid together?!

Family photos in Orlando courtesy of our Uncle Ike!

Is It Mean of Me?

2011-12-16T20:04:00.001-08:00

Am I the only mom who sometimes thinks... that it is extremely funny... in regards to when my husband is struggling with the baby, whether it's with a diaper change (which at 7 months becomes a constant battle as Jordan flips over to reach for something) or feeding (where Jordan gets excited, flaps his hands and often knocks the food onto whoever is feeding him and himself)? I guess it's funny because it's the acknowledgment that I'm not alone in struggling with Jordan's current age appropriate idiosyncrasies, it's also funny because it's not me, and that's always funnier, and lastly, it somehow validates the difficulty and sometimes frustrating things I do all day.

It also makes me feel less of a villain when I shove Jordan into my husband's arms the moment he comes home so I can shower, or pee, or a litany of other things that are seemingly unimportant when Jordan is roaming around, and I must needs be, be capturing it on video or my iphone (yeah, my new work paid for one so I still have NEVER paid for a phone... take that suckers!).

Case in point... today... as I was going through work e-mail the moment Andy got back and I gave him Jordan duty (this whole crawling thing is so fun but definitely more time consuming as everyone promised it would be!), I almost laughed hysterically and a bit vehemently out loud as Andy exclaimed, "Don't do that Jordan!" as he was feeding Jordan. I wasn't intrigued enough to go see what he was doing, but I'm pretty sure it was either slumping over in his bumbo to eat it instead of the food, thereby getting food leftover in his mouth on the bumbo, and then reaching over to touch it, or just wacking Daddy with his hands and spilling the food everywhere.

In other news... I really want more volume in my hair. Voluminous hair seems way cooler than flat lifeless hair. The commercials agree with me.

I haven't posted any of the photos we took for Jordan's 6 month (we got two sessions - these are done by our talented friend Kate because our other talented friend Jen wasn't sure if she'd make it out from Arizona in time... she ended up coming and took family photos AND photos of Jordan... more of those later) so enjoy Kate's work. These are my favorite ones!

goofball. ... what are you doing with your tongue?!

tongue out... favorite thing apparently

goofy smirk

My dad came along for the fun

so did my mom

My Mom Excuse

2011-12-14T12:19:00.000-08:00

Getting up in the morning has become increasingly harder to do. I think it's because since I know I have all day... what's sleeping in a bit going to do?

Once a week, I have a weekly call for my Company that gets my bum up at 8 AM. Besides that... Jordan seems to be a great alarm clock. ... except that I really really wanted to get into tip top shape (hate my muffin top and all that mid-section flab that is flabalicious) before Christmas sets me back 5 pounds. I even resolved to start going to the gym at 6 AM. If only I could find someone to join me at my fancy gym at 6 AM everyday... then I wouldn't flake on myself.

So far... I've set the alarm four times... and I've skipped out all four times. Maybe I should throw the towel in, wave my white flag and start doing P90x at home. Ahhh... the thought of Tony yelling at me that coke is badddddd or pastrami sandwiches are baddddd has me thinking otherwise.

Here's to tomorrow right?

Meanwhile, Jordan's ready to go to work. See his cute tie and pocket protector.

Happy Reading Day

2011-12-13T09:01:00.000-08:00

I contributed another article to Latter-Day Woman about my newfound internet obsession, Pinterest.

Check it out on page 30 and while you're at it.. check out Easy Money on page 36 and Family Photo: How to Dress the Whole Gang on page 42, just some of my favorites, but really - the whole magazine is fun and any links viewed can be clicked on directly as everything is hyperlinked! Enjoy!

Latter-Day Woman Holiday Issue

Our 1st Annual Tacky Christmas Party

2011-12-11T23:27:00.001-08:00

One of my favorite parts about college was dressing up for crazy parties. Coincidentally, that was also my favorite part about drinking before I became Momo. So when people ask me if it was hard to give up alcohol, it's pretty easy to understand why it wasn't. On the one hand, I had a source of strength from Heavenly Father that is indescribable and unlike any capability of my own. On the other hand, I still get to dress in costume for parties (and my husband does not object and so far we have dressed up for Halloween, Christmas parties and we like to match for Church a lot). Once dressed up, we have enjoyed the company of other friends of like minds and together, we have played wacky games and enjoyed Costco appetizers, bubbly Martinelli's and yummy desserts.

Enter....our 1st Annual Phillips' Tacky Christmas Party (the annual implies we will be doing this every year going forward now...) This was the photo we used on our invite, our sweaters from 2009 which have been used 3 times but were never washed since everything was glue gunned on. Hahaha... we can't find them, we think we threw them away.

Did I ever tell you I go to the largest ward (church meeting group we are demographically bound to) with so many young couples, that hosting a party actually becomes difficult to figure out how many people our tiny apartment can fit?! There were so many people I've talked with a few times or gone to baby showers for who I wanted so badly to invite, but sensibly so, my husband advised me to keep the guest list to 50 (excluding kids). Even though there is never 100% attendance, it was hard and I finally imposed an invite of couples and friends who had come to our apartment or hosted us at theirs at least once, or couples we had hung out with more than twice. It sounds silly that we even have to do that, but seriously.. the friends we've made from our ward are many and our ward is hip, young, fun, hot, neat, and cool. If I knew how small of a group would have actually showed up since a lot of people had left for the holidays, I would have invited way more people! Okay, that's my sad rant for those who I love and have met and was not able to extend an invite to.

So apparently ugly Christmas sweater parties are so popular now, one cannot find anything good at Goodwill or Salvation Army. The trick these days is to stop by K-Mart or Wal-Mart for a cheap and festive sweater or holiday outfit. I made ours again (that seems to be the easiest way) so our outfits were under $5 for all three (used what I had).

Blair and Tyler

Jill and Sean

Al, Alex and Whitney

Andy, Jordan and me

Mike and Cassy

Dan and Tori

Ryan and Diane

Jeff and Passelly

Gabby, Paselly, and me

Jordan loving that Cassy is feeding him instead of Daddy or Mommy

Whitney and me with our babies

Jill and Whitney

We had a white elephant gift exchange with some hilarious gifts including a tall wicker giraffe that now sits in our living room.

We also played Minute to Win-It and had so much fun, I failed to take any photos except for this one game which was hilarious... they had to use the banana to get the apple to the finish line.

And that's a wrap. Hope your Christmas parties were as tacky as ours.

Clean Me Please

2011-12-08T22:02:00.001-08:00

I had been eyeing the refrigerator for quite some time now, in disgust and pity, but also more indifference above all. It taunted me to clean it. I had better things to do. It taunted me to clean it. I had other plans. It taunted me to clean it. I told it to go away. It taunted me to clean it. I told it to try someone else. Much like a helpless teenage girl who can't give up her high school crush, the fridge again told me to clean it. I ignored it. Until I saw a piece of my long black hair in the fridge. Yuck. Guilty as charged. Okay. I guess I will clean you now.

I've been mistaken for a neat freak by many people but in reality, I'm dirty masked by organized. HAHAHAHAAAA.... muhahahahahahaha. That aside, I do find pure joy in cleaning, which for me, is loosely used to describe organizing. In fact, when I was in middle school, one of my closest friends would always invite me over to her house to hang out, just long enough so she could "get Daisy to clean" her room. I didn't mind it at all and actually looked forward to it each time! But cleaning the toilet or the fridge are not my favorite things and unlike the toilet, which I have learned to clean more often than not in order to avoid one HUGE attempt at cleaning it.... the fridge just doesn't seem to make its way up that chain of must do. Until today that is....

Today, I decided to clean the fridge. Not just throw out the rotten stuff (give me some credit, I actually do that regularly), but clean .... take out all the pieces, wash it with mild soap and warm water (as instructed on the bottom of the plastic bins I had never seen until today). The last time I cleaned the fridge was when we first got married, but I didn't do a thorough job like today.. at the time, I only clorox wiped the bottoms a bit and called it a day.

I cleaned for half an hour before a 9 AM call with my company's website developer. I then cleaned for about an hour... fed Jordan... put him to bed... cleaned for another hour while sending e-mails and making phone calls (personal and business) in between and rocking to a Christmas pandora station.... did some laundry, took out the trash (gross... I usually let Andy do this but it was a little out of control and I couldn't wait until he got home), cleaned some more once Jordan was awake and distracted by some toys... and well... I would say it took me somewhere between 3-4 hours to clean the fridge.

But man did it feel good when I was done.

I wish I had gotten a photo of the before fridge but it's probably better that I didn't.

all the bins out and clean... !

The left side... all done!

The right side...all done!

some of the food waiting to go back in...

Oh my goodness... I actually did it!... three... maybe four hours later...

Jordan playing nice while I clean. Whenever he dropped a toy, I'd go and play with him for 10 seconds before returning. He was pleased by this.

I know all I did was clean a dirty fridge, but the sense of accomplishment I was left with was simply priceless. Cleaning the fridge, another simple joy of life, who would have thought?!

Pray.. not Play.

2011-12-04T20:40:00.001-08:00

It's common knowledge that native Chinese speakers attempting to speak English confuse their Rs for Ls.

So English becomes EngRish.

Hello becomes Herro.

And then we joke about it and flip it the other way...

Sorry becomes sollie.

Very becomes Vely.

Why do we do such things?

My brother's English name is Ray and I swear my parents didn't do it intentionally, but his Chinese name is Lay-Lay. One friend who found out Lay-Lay was his actual name, not just a nickname I had come up with to poke fun at the R-L and L-R confusion, pointed that out to me... and we laughed for days.

So tonight, when Jordan again refused to sleep... laying on his stomach in the pack n play, he bumped his head towards the mesh to see if he could break through, giggling with increased volume, hoping we'd get him. It was a funny and cute sight and we both held back our smile, forcing a frown as I advised Jordan it was time to pray, not play. At the sound of my own R-L comment, Andy and I both laughed. To which Jordan joined as he continually shoved his head towards the mesh, as if to show us the true round shape of his head and simultaneously see if he could indeed get closer to us. He then decided to use his hands to do the same thing... his hands opened to give us five, he pressed against the mesh, looking out at us with his eyes wide and hopeful.

Yet again, we told him it was time to pRay not pLay.

pRay! Not pLay!

It has neLer stopped being funny foL me. At Reast not yet.

What Would You Do?

2011-12-03T19:55:00.001-08:00

Checked into our Columbus Ohio hotel. Disappointed that parking costs $23 per night. Devastated more like it. Guess that $40 meal comped in Chicago was a tender mercy for the outrageous cost of parking Ohio would bring us.

Unloaded all our stuff into the hotel room. Found ESPN2 on our huge flat screen TV. Headed to Goodwill where we didn't find anything "as is" tack enough for our upcoming Christmas party. Bought Jordan a cute zip up hoodie and items to bedazzle with tackiness. Ventured to Ray Ray's BBQ truck which we found on Yelp! Discovered it was serendipitously a block from Goodwill. Imagined ourselves living in Columbus. Noticed the candles in every window on some houses. Admired the large colonial style homes.

Returned back to our hotel. Gave Jordan a bath. Worked on company's financials while Andy watched the BYU vs. Hawaii game. Ate an apple. Fed Jordan. Put Jordan to sleep.

And then..... it happened.

He's still crying it out.

Give up? Us? No way!

He was crying. He was wailing. He was yelling. He was so... so... sad.

A knock on our door.

"Is everything all right?" In the background, our child is still crying.

"Yes, he's just teething," says my husband.

"Is there anything we can do?" they ask.

"No, he's just teething, we're sorry.... there's nothing we can do," my husband responds.

They leave.

"Who was it?" I ask (I had not moved from where I was working).

"The people from downstairs front desk," Andy says.

At first... I thought, great... we can never train him to cry it out since our neighbors are complaining. But then... after I mulled about it a bit, I got angry. He hadn't even been crying for more than ten minutes, and they called downstairs to complain? To express concern? To say we're bad parents?! It's 10:30 PM on a Saturday night... it's not like we're throwing a party, destroying the furniture or being that loud. Right? ....

As I muttered in my state of confusion and anger, Andy rocked Jordan to sleep as he watched the rest of the game and I continued working but now I can't help but think... have we started a really bad trend? Maybe we should stop traveling with Jordan and start giving him a better routine.

What would you have done?

A Simpler Life... and Adventures in Chicago

2011-12-02T20:38:00.001-08:00

This past Tuesday, Andy, Jordan and I left for the windy city of Chicago, Illinois for the 2011 Radiological Society of North America Annual Scientific Meeting. Okay, more like Andy came for the conference to present some research while we came along for the ride (one of the many reasons I love my other part-time job which goes where I go!), to meet up with friends, eat and shop. After just three days in the heart of downtown, there doesn't seem to be much else to do (besides what we've been doing) and we'll be off to Ohio tomorrow to accompany Andy on another interview Monday.

The irony is our departure for the windy city coincided with the wind greeting our hometown as the Santa Ana winds raged up to 85 mph Wednesday night, assaulting our hometown and leaving fallen trees too old and fragile to survive, and the entire area of Pasadena it in a state of emergency with no electricity for days. My own parents, who are nestled in the comfort of Arcasia, have been lucky to have gas and water, but electricity is still pending after two days.

As I called my mom yesterday to give her an update on our happenings here in Chi-Town (more on that later), I asked her how everything was back home. She told me they'd returned to a simpler life. No internet for my pops. No television for my mom. They ate dinner by candlelight, my mom worked out at home, they conversed and then they got ready for bed, thinking it must be 10 PM. When she realized it was only 8 PM, she told me this must be how people used to have a ton of kids. Yes, she knows I want 5 kids and is entirely supportive, but sometimes I think she doubts we will get there after 1... 2... or 3. Truth be told, I have no idea what the future will bring either, but we're open to the idea (shoot for the sun right?) It was a funny observation but also very keen. Having a ton of kids is not really that insane as long as you keep it simple which is quite hard to do, but hey - maybe they'll create an app for that.

Chicago has been SO. MUCH. FUN. Having been here more times than I can count or keep straight for trainings in the past with the Firm, I wasn't horrifically excited at first. What I failed to overlook was that I'd be coming with my family, making it an entirely new, exciting and fun-filled experience.

Given my past hoity toity spoiled rotten days of free luxurious hotels sponsored by the Firm, I didn't expect much from our Best Western, so I was surprisingly shocked when I realized our hotel was nicely tucked in downtown, near a ton of great restaurants, within walking distance to a bunch of shopping and that the inside of our room is actually beautifully decorated and quite nice with a California King and a flat screen television.

Our first day - Jordan playing after he ate while I work and Andy was checking out the conference.

Justin, Andy's college roommate and one of his partners in crime during their single dating days (and stalking random girls in person or on facebook) and his wife, Jessica and their 2 month old son, Jaxson, were on their way through Chicago to southern Illinois for an interview (he's also a fourth year in medical school), so they came to visit and stayed with us one night - it was so much fun to see them and we got photos for free with Santa, ate at Portillo's, grabbed hot chocolate at 7-Eleven, popcorn at Garrett's and then a snack at Chic-Filet (that's how we roll).

Jaxson and Jordan - best buddies and so happy! Jessica got them these cute matching outfits (thanks Jessica!) and they actually came with a penguin hat too but both boys weren't fans.

on a more serious note....they kind of look like the penguins.. one taller than the other... lol

Contrary to popular belief, not all Asian babies look the same, and this is actually Jaxson, not Jordan. Jordan had the same outfit when he was smaller which reminded us of his tiny baby days...... we loved holding Jaxson and him cuddling with us especially since Jordan won't have it anymore but we'll have another baby soon enough.

The bean at night. The mirror underneath the bean is way trippy. I was on the right in real life.. but on the left on the bean... woah!!!

Last night, we thought we'd go see the Zoo lights, but then we realized it started tonight... so instead we walked all around downtown in a big loop, ate at Giordano's (I still am not a fan of deep dish but Andy loved it) and Jordan got to meet Marcy, one of my best friends from college.

Today for lunch, we went to Xoco for lunch, a place with 4 stars on Yelp! (of course I"m a yelper, I'm Asian and I love to eat) and we got seated in 5 minutes because we had a baby in a stroller (the line was out the door long and the wait was estimated at 30 minutes), but then they forgot our food... and after 45 minutes, they realized (guess they thought we were just chilling?) and apologized profusely, gave us another thing of guacamole and comped our meal. Win win!

Reason number 101 why I love my husband. We finally got him a pair of sunglasses (his old ones broke and I just haven't gotten around to fixing them yet... oh and they were a gift from an ex, but I swear that's not why...) from Niketown and he loved 'em so much, he couldn't stop doing this when we got back.

Too bad he also kindly reminded me to fix his other pair so he could have a variety of sunglasses. It's on my list hubs.

Having grown up in California my entire life, I really did not know how to dress my son for the cold. Luckily, my mom saved the day with this ridiculous but super cute and very warm blanket cover-up. He has two!

And I think he loves it so far. And even more exciting - Jordan just got his first two teeth (we saw one before but then the gums grew over it.. these are the real deal - sharp and everything!)... which is why he's still "crying it out" right now. *sigh.

Crying It Out

2011-11-28T11:26:00.001-08:00

Jordan's been crying for 45 minutes. I got him and fed him but then he wanted to play. Then his eyes fluttered and you could tell he was struggling to stay awake, a laugh came out at the same time that his fists went towards his eyes....his red, red ... very red eyes. Oh my.... what have I done?! Back to the crib son! 45 painful heart wrenching crying minutes later.... he has finally fallen asleep...

Jordan is on the verge of crawling and is too excited for sleep. Sleep is overrated. I agree son! Unfortunately, I need him to nap so he can be happy, rested and ready to work at crawling when it's playtime later (and I can finish everything on my list for the day!).

I hate letting Jordan cry it out and I'm probably the reason he has been pushing the buttons lately. With every daytime "crying it out" session, I have been getting him, prolonging his next "crying it out" session because hey, it worked last time he did it!... Meanwhile, my heart is breaking at his lurching cries and gasping for breath whimpers, and how I long to just cradle him safely in my arms instead of making him sleep. But wait... NO! Because then he rubs his eyes and I KNOW he is tired, but refusing to sleep. It's just more fun NOT sleeping. Alas, I return him to his crib. I let him cry. I sit and listen and long to get him. I tell myself no. And then I try to distract myself but man, is it painful.

Why would I sleep when I can eat pandas?!

Or pillows?

Crying it out - the most agonizing thing a parent can endure. After 45 minutes, this is how I found him (I put the blanket on after I found him asleep).

I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, but after that "crying it out experience," my lonely lunch by myself didn't make it any better. Except for my lunch dates with my mom and brother (who just left for Taiwan for six months ... sad face), lunch normally consists of leftovers, lunch meat straight from the bag shoved into my mouth or inhaled (whatever is quicker), a yogurt, and maybe some fruit. I try to remember to breathe but really my goal is to eat quickly so I can get other stuff done.

Today, I decided to be adventurous and made myself a salad and well.. we don't really have salad bowls so here I am. And well, the lonely lunch was made funny by my big blue ghetto bowl.

I know, I'm so posh but a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do to get stuff done.

Being Thankful

2011-11-27T20:43:00.001-08:00

Thanksgiving has never been very American in my family. My understanding was always that the traditional celebration involved a grand meal of turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, corn, mashed potatoes, yams and rolls, with some sort of fancy decorated centerpiece (a cornucopia of autumn colors, pumpkins and fall leaves right?) while my own experience was drastically different (except for the couple of years my brother and I decided to do a "white Thanksgiving" which KFC and Boston Market partially provided for us). For all the other years that I can recall, Thanksgiving always meant a lot of food with family and friends, but our turkeys were always stuffed with Chinese glutinous sticky rice while our sides included shrimp, bok choy, duck, BBQ pork, fruit salad and eight treasure rice.

Since I became a part of the Phillips family a year and a half ago, I've experienced the traditional "American Thanksgiving" complete with family, food and football and boy, does it intimidate me to think of one day hosting Thanksgiving (probably not anytime in the next decade), but more than intimidation, the experience of new Thanksgiving traditions have reminded me of the gratitude during this time which is emphasized more as part of the "American Thanksgiving" than my own "Chinese Thanksgivings."

Gratitude is an ongoing thing so my hope in jotting some down is to consistently be grateful for it and not just while I blog about it.

Ongoing hope. Happy laughter. Uncontrollable laughter. Undeniable faith. Smiling silliness. Joyful grins. The Gospel. Modern revelation. Prayer. My testimony. My savior. The convenants I've made. My eternal family. Andy's laughter. Andy's encouragement. Andy's priesthood. Jordan's squeals. Jordan's giggles. Jordan's poops. Love from family. Support from family. My job. My co-workers. Andy's interviews. Andy's schooling. Our home.

Technology. Cell phones. The internet. Blogging. Taking photos. Boardgames. Dancing. Jumping. Farting. Skipping. The gym. Kettlebells. Exercise balls. Lululemon pants. Sequins. Bling. Ruffles. Charm bracelets. Sunglasses. Fluffy socks. Ice cream. Fro-yo. Chinese food. Chinese cake. Pad Thai. Sushi. Curry. Hawaiian Rolls. Rice. Fruit Tarts. Watermelon. Pineapple. Beef Jerky. Almonds. Blue Cheese. Tomatoes. Celery. Nutella. Beans. Tapatio. Sour straws. High heels. Books. Movies. Music. Candles. Symmetry. Rhythm.

10 Reasons Why I Love Being A Stay At Home Mom

2011-11-21T17:25:00.001-08:00

I can go holiday shopping on weekdays. The weekend grind is disgusting these days.
I can go to the gym during the day and wonder what these other people do for a living.. oh right, probably what I do.
I get to witness all of Jordan's milestones and sometimes I forget that Andy is not with us all day when he says something like.. "oh that laugh, I've never heard that!" as he's pulling out the camera to capture it, I'm thinking... maybe I should have done that when I heard the laugh weeks ago.... much better than when I initially responded with, "That laugh? That's old news!" ... good going Daisy!
I get to nap during the day with Jordan.
I can eat out for lunch, munch on snacks all day, have lunch meat, or go to Costco for free samples!
Jordan and Andy both appreciate what I do, and Andy even tells me I'm doing a great job even when I feel like FAIL FAIL FAIL all day long.
I can talk on the phone, go on Pinterest, hop onto facebook, browse LinkedIn, blogstalk or whatever else I want to while Jordan is sleeping without feeling guilty or toggling elsewhere if someone walks by.
I can clean and organize throughout the day when time permits and I run errands like it's my job, not on the weekends when I have free time.
I can lounge all day in my PJs, decide to curl my hair and put on make-up, change outfits once, twice, three times a day, or whatever I want because there's no dress code! (or stupid closed toe shoes rule!).
It's the most ~~challenging~~ rewarding job I've ever had. No job description can entail what being a stay at home mom is or means, nothing can truly capture all of its amazing ups, crazy downs and everything in between but it's worth it and I love it. LOVEEEEEE it!

Disclaimer: Though I am a stay at home mom, I do work 16 hours a week from home, but being a mom always comes first!

It's Movember

2011-11-18T09:09:00.000-08:00

Secluded from the hoards of college buddies and Corporate America co-workers growing staches to raise money for mens' health in my current work locale (did I mention telecommuting is awesome??), Movember will never be the same again. Or maybe it will. ....

5 Minute Blog Post Challenge

2011-11-15T22:54:00.001-08:00

The boys are asleep. Jordan tuckered into bed around 8:30 PM, Andy said good night around 10 PM and I went to work. Put away some laundry, loaded the dishwasher, cleared Jordan's toys to the side of the floor space where he rolls incessantly, and finished an e-mail for work that was due by November 15th (that's today!).

I have become accustomed to getting key things done right after my boys are asleep and working on the computer with the swish swish swoosh sounds of our dishwasher in the dimly light living room with the distinct view of my Asian Japanese curtain separating the room from the hallway and the Asian scroll one of Andy's ex-girlfriend's moms gifted and is now a staple of our living room (I am quite fond of it actually .. no, seriously, I am) everytime I look up (which I do everytime I am thinking).

I decided I didn't want to spend more than five minutes blogging today so I will keep it at that and my thoughts shall spew everywhere like word vomit.

We watched last night's episode of How I Met Your Mother (spoiler alert if you haven't watched it yet), I clapped my hands together and said yeah (love that band) for the much anticipated reunion of Robin and Barney only to be defeated by love's confusion and the outcome of the episode. Andy scolded me for supporting two people cheating on their significant others as I claimed it was simply true love. Andy said there's no such thing as true love and as I struggled to comprehend why exactly he was right, I still clung onto the hope that Robin and Barney will be reunited and attempted to see what the rest of the internet world thought.

One thing is for sure - it was a good episode, I'm really heartbroken by Robin's reaction and that moment that stood still with Barney just staring at Robin as she shook her head... it struck me in the heart. I am rooting for them. I still think they are getting married because 1) Lily is a bridesmaid. Here's hoping!

2 minutes over.... oops! Good night!

Pretty Spectacular

2011-11-12T10:02:00.000-08:00

Last night Caitlin, who lives in the same apartment complex but different building (across from us) came over to use my shower because hers is out of order. On her way out, we started talking (we both have new babies about 2 months apart) about our babies, about life, about the next child, about moving soon, about our birth experiences... and somehow our loquacious selves found ourselves talking in the hallway for almost an hour when we heard a neighbor's door open and we both instinctively jumped back into my apartment, closed the door quietly and carefully and giggled like we were two college girls living in a dorm who inadvertently and ignorantly annoyed the neighbors. We then talked some more and by the time she left, it was around 1 AM.

After she left, I finished an episode of this week's The Office and then found myself waking up at 7 AM this morning, unable to go back to sleep (try as I might).

You want to know what's funny though? Yesterday, I was missing Andy (he's been away interviewing this past week) and just wishing I had someone to gab with. About absolutely nothing. About nothing significant. About everything really. You see, my BFF, who usually fulfills that responsibility (or obligation, what have you) is in Hawaii on vacation with her hubbie and some of our friends, so she hasn't been bored enough to call me, nor has she responded to my texts or voice mails. *sigh.

I'm fairly independent in terms of running errands and shopping or even working out on my own (and I'm that girl who ends up talking to strangers about random things), but every now and then, I just like to talk to someone. In the past, I've been known to call old friends... catch up, talk, and so on and so forth. Blame it on my seventh grade rule that I could only have three phone calls a day or that though I work part time from home, I don't have to talk to anyone (like I did at the old Firm when we always had teams or people coming to my office with issues or wanting to just talk) unless it's a client or vendor or the Bossman giving me an ad-hoc request.

So last night was fun. I got my talk on.

This last week has been the longest Andy and I have ever been apart from each other after getting married, but now it seems to have gone by so fast. The time was made short with the kind calls from family members checking in, work errands, personal errands, invitations to go out from friends, and trips to Arcasia to have lunch, go shopping and dinner. At home when it's just Jordan and me, we have taken a lot of photos, played a lot of games, thrown food all over the couch and carpet, cleaned the house, lots of laundry, skyped with Andy, organized our mail pile, (it never gets smaller.. we just try to maintain it), made a Christmas wreath, finished two books (The Entitlement Trap and Shanghai Girls - both of which I highly recommend!) and missed Andy. I am currently planning Sunday night dinner via Pinterest with Pandora playing my Mumford and Sons station in the background, the red autumn leaves blowing from the balcony view (when did Fall foliage get here?), Jordan peacefully asleep, and a trip planned to our fancy gym for a Pilates class in a bit followed by some shopping (despite me swearing I would not go back to the malls on a weekend, I feel like going today....)

It makes me realize that Heavenly Father is aware of me and my needs, as silly as they may be and that yesterday, when I was feeling really lonely and wondering who I could just gab with... that Heavenly Father sent me someone. And now, as I get ready for my day, I can't help but smile about that and all the wonderful acts of love and angels He has sent my way while Andy has been away. It's pretty spectacular. And so are these photos.

Mommy! I'm naked! Put that camera away!

Okay, maybe just one. ... or two.

Multitasking To The Max

2011-11-09T21:35:00.001-08:00

They say multi-taskers are losers because instead of doing anything right, they do everything wrong.

I am currently doing Bar Method in my living room, running to answer e-mails, texting my husband good night and sorry I missed his call to say good night and pray with me an hour ago, and grabbing the book I'm currently reading (The Entitlement Trap by Richard and Linda Eyre) while recalling I need to unload the dryer and start folding those whites while I can which by the way, I put on hold so I could blog about it.

Is it sad that the only photos I have of Jordan and me are taken with the iPhone reflection option in our poorly lighted living room where we spend 90% of our time?

Absolutely in love with his face in this photo. What a goofball.

The "I Don't Care I'm Just a Mom" Syndrome

2011-11-08T22:37:00.000-08:00

It started slowly. Creeped up on me. Didn't feel like it was a big deal. Was just one time. I was just so tired. Nobody was going to see me anyway. Who really cares, right? It's more comfortable this way.

In the beginning, I'd pick sleep over shower. In fact, I'm quite positive I did.. many many times. Then, once I mustered a bit more energy and Jordan's sleeping patterns normalized, I'd pick the internet over shower.

Nobody cares if I'm in my PJs all day. Jordan sure doesn't! Nobody cares if my hair's not done. Jordan sure doesn't! Nobody cares if I'm not wearing any make-up. Jordan sure doesn't! Nobody cares if my hair's a little oily. Jordan sure doesn't! Nobody cares if I've been wearing that for days. Jordan sure doesn't!

You know why they make kids wear uniforms? To strip them of any identity and force them into chains of uniformity! Actually, I'm not sure really, but I think it's for the same reason Corporate America enforces business casual or formal in the workplace. It's why my old Firm required closed toe shoes for females and nylons for any skirts worn (I was probably the only person who followed this rule in 2004, naive lil newbie me) - to help us look the part and thereby act the part.

There have been studies (somewhere) that show if you are dressed accordingly, you will act accordingly. I'm not sure those studies are accurate or even meaningful, but I do know that I was slowly.... tripping... then falling, then plunging into the abyss of the I don't care, I'm just a mom syndrome. This syndrome is quite different from the MILKs (mom I'd like to kiss) who have been made popular through Desperate Housewives, Real Housewives of Orange County, New York, Beverly Hills and Atlanta, and are more throwback to put on a t-shirt, barely do your hair pair it with some mom jeans, scrunchies and not hot at all. And the latter is what I became.

My toes look like I have been kicking bricks and I still can't stop biting my fingernails whilst thinking of all the stuff left to do from my massive checklists. With Jordan around, dressing up feels useless as the unknown spit-up or poop may attack at any given moment, sending my outfit into the laundry and me hopelessly looking for something else to wear. Tired and indifferent to society's restraint of proper dress, groom and etiquette, and the inadvertent sabotage from my son, I began to happily lounge all day in my oily undone hair, husband's hospital scrubs and if I was trying, my Lululemon baggy pants with an old wrinkly t-shirt.

This all changed last Wednesday. I woke up early and did my hair and even put on some make-up because I was having a headshot done for the new company (look, I'm on a website!) When I came home, my hair still looked good and my face looked more alert than normal.. guess there's something to this whole make-up thing. I liked how I looked. I felt good about how I looked. And I was happier and more productive throughout the day. (I know, I'm so vain) I even think Jordan might have wondered who this new person was holding and playing with him all day long.

So I decided I was tired of not having a reason to get ready in the morning and resolved to start doing my hair, putting on some make-up, and putting on nice clothes. I'm still working on the nice shoes and my nails are still in need of an upgrade, but so far it feels good. It feels good to get ready in the morning for my meaningful job as a mom (and that part time thing I do from home too I guess...).

Being a mom is just as important (and much more demanding!) as having a high profile job in some big Fortune 500 company... so why shouldn't I put some time into getting ready in the morning for my big and important awesome role as a mom?

We'll see how long this lasts... but so far, it feels good.

Our friends, the Rasmussens, have advised me I must have more photos in my blog. I'm not a photo blog person, but I'll see how far I can get before giving up.

What's up Mommy?! You wanna take some photos of me for the 6 month statistics?!

Oh is this a new toy for me?!

I wonder what it tastes like....

Hmmm... texture... a bit weird...

Not a fan.

How Quickly They Learn!

2011-11-03T08:37:00.000-07:00

Jordan wakes up consistently around 7 AM and plays in the crib by himself for an hour, yelling, screaming, giggling, and completely entertained before he starts to cry for me to grab him. At 8 AM, he is okay for an hour playing in his Baby Einstein bouncer so I maximize his independence by getting an hour of work in before he gets hungry or wants to play with me.

This morning, he sat in his bouncer playing with one of his jungle playmat toys happily as I got ready to make some carrot baby food. After peeling the giant carrot I got at the farmer's market, I decided it would be cute to let him hold it (and see how big the carrot is compared to him). As I approached him with the carrot, his eyes became asphyxiated on the bright and very large orange carrot. He froze, and let go of his jungle playmat toy the moment I let on that I was going to hand him the new toy (they lose interest so quickly... so fickle). The carrot was too big for his hands to comfortably grasp so he adjusted his arms to have his elbows assist as he explored the cold bright orange toy with his mouth (as he does with everything these days).

After snapping a photo, I took the carrot away from him (so I could make his breakfast) and he instantly cried... as if on command. And it was fake - no tears, just cries. The jungle toy wasn't good enough anymore and he wanted the huge carrot toy back. I didn't budge... cutting the carrot in the kitchen as I in my sternest voice said, "No Jordan, I have to make your breakfast Jordan, we do NOT cry about carrot toys!" to which he must have sensed the tone and stopped crying. Lately, our little Jordan has been crying on command to test the waters with us, to see what Andy and I will respond to and he's been treading water quite well. On occasion, he has a glorified look of accomplishment when we get him from the crib after he's been crying. To our dismay, he is not hungry nor does he need a diaper change, but he successfully reemerges into the living room to play with mommy and daddy a little big longer and we always commit to be better the next time he cries, but my how quickly he learns and tries to test us again.

Nothing Scarier...

2011-10-31T13:24:00.000-07:00

There's nothing financially more scary than an e-mail from your bank informing you of your "insufficient funds." How terribly appropriate for them to do it on Halloween of all days.

The last time I got an insufficient funds notice was in college when I knew very little about how a checking account worked and spent a little too much on ~~clothes~~ textbooks. It was a good learning opportunity and helped me grow into the fiscally conscious person I am today. Until today that is.

Shocked and offended by the obvious error on the bank's part, I quickly logged into my account and noticed... we have $200 in our checkings account. Oops. Big oops. I guess I forgot that the money had stopped coming in while the expenses were still being incurred. We are still racking up about $2,500 worth of consumer debt through our Costco American Express card each month, $1,500 in monthly rent and utilities, about $300 for every one of Andy's many flights for interviews and did I mention we are still paying for hospital bills around $1-2,000 and benefits incurred during my unpaid leave for the last two and a half months? I have never been more excited to receive a paycheck as I will starting November.

And I've learned not to overlook the small things and that I should have signed up for overdraft protection earlier - because at Wells Fargo, there is no fee to sign-up, just an automatic $12.50 you will be hit with (instead of $25) and an automatic transfer from your savings which we had enough money in, just did not think to transfer ahead of time. At this point, it's embarassing that we erred as such, but hopefully my mistake is a lesson to you to monitor your account (in detail, not just in aggregate) closely each month. Lesson learned (as always), but also - one should never give up and take any fee (even if it's your fault) without a fight. I called and got half of the fee reversed as if I had overdraft protection this entire time.

*sigh. I should have known. I didn't. I was too busy making homemade Halloween costumes and playing with my adorable son. Oopsie Daisy.

Moshi Moshi Dude

2011-10-30T13:26:00.001-07:00

For nine months, I was advised not to eat any sushi for fear of poisoning my firstborn who was still incubating. Following that, it was suggested that I try to limit the amount of sushi I feasted on while breastfeeding for fear of it making its way into the milk I produced. Having only indulged in sushi once in the last year, it only made sense to do this for Halloween.

Have you ever heard of that song by the Vapors.. I think I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese, I really THINK so!

our little sushi....

Before you compliment me on a great job or how creative that was, let me caveat it with... *chuckle.... shrug of embarrassed shoulders and a bit of a turtle popping chin and head movement towards you .... I am NOT that creative. My sister-in-law, Tammy, pinned a cute Etsy costume as follows:

Sold here for $40 bucks (excluding shipping!)

I fell instantaneously in love and just HAD to have my son be a sushi. Creative? Not so much. Steal your idea and improve it for cheaper? Heck yeah! That is exactly what I did (minus the ginger because I couldn't find the right color felt in the 34 cent 8x10 size at my local craft store).

All in, the material for Jordan's costume cost $4.88 with much leftover fabric as I grossly overestimated the amount needed and also previously imagined we would be accompanying him as larger life sized sushis (the cost-benefit analysis made me decide otherwise). I have a bunch of black and orange felt leftover that will be used for other projects (methinks some crinkly toys). Meanwhile, the material for Andy's apron (which is not pictured, but he is a tempan yaki chef, imagine Bennihana or Tokyo Wakko, vaguely inspired by a recent episode of How I Met Your Mother) and bandana cost $5.42 (I know it's too big... he was home teaching when I made it and I didn't think to put it on my own forehead to measure) and my costume was free courtesy of our friend Allison who had been a geisha a few years back (she even had the bright red lipstick, I used black liner for my brows and eyes and white eye-shadow for my eyes.. didn't feel like putting white powder all over my face).

The labor consumed making both costumes was roughly an hour for Jordan's costume and 30 minutes for Andy's. I am a novice sewer who still watches the instructional video on how to thread and bobbin everytime I change thread color, so trust me when I say this was a very easy DIY project, even for a dummy like me!

I folded the orange felt in half, sketched half of a fish, and cut it out (as you can see, my initial fish was HUGE ... even larger than Jordan.. but I just kept cutting away until it was the perfect size).

For the white, I folded a 8x10 34 cent white felt sheet in half and cut out triangle Chevron stripes. I sewed the white stripes onto the orange fabric and then sewed the orange pieces together (I learned from my sister-in-law that felt does not fray, so I just sewed it from the outside instead of flipping it inside out) and stuffed it.

The green seaweed was another 8x10 34 cent green felt sheet folded in half, zig-zag cut on the non-fold side and then cut slits close to, but not quite at the fold for the frayed grass effect. I sewed the seaweed onto his black band which was just a long black rectangle with velcro sewed on the ends to hold it all together. Last, but not least.. the wasabi was a 8x10 34 cent lime green felt sheet crumpled together with a glue gun and safety pinned onto the fish (this way the fish is still a stuffed animal he can play with separate from the wasabi after costume wear).

Ta-da! Sushi costume - homemade and under $5! I decided against a onesie because it's kind of cold lately and instead went with this cute Calvin Klein top and bottom courtesy of our friend Becky.

Can you tell I'm absolutely ecstatic over my sudden wave of resourceful creativity? Aryigato!

Mint Has Not Just Been A Herb For A While Now...

2011-10-27T23:57:00.000-07:00

So you know how a lot of girls blog about their really cute crafts or delicious recipes? I've been pondering what I can give back to the blogosphere lately and it's not my lack of crafting abilities or cooking expertise... nor would my attempts to sew or cook healthy entertain anyone. But I do know a bit about managing the family's finances and so I decided... why not blog a bit about that? This way.. I have it for my kids in the future and along the way, if someone actually heeds some of my financial advice... hip hip hooray.

So today.. I want to promote Mint.com. If you haven’t already heard of mint.com, you are in for an herbal treatment! This fast growing website is the premiere place to consolidate all of your finances and provide you with a real time analysis on your actual cash flow (assets minus liabilities... or what you have in cash minus what you owe in credit card bills, loans, etc.). But wait, it doesn’t stop there (do I sound like an as seen on television infomercial?... well, it’s that great my friends), it also categorizes your transactions, makes suggestions for further savings based on your spending trends and allows you to set and monitor monthly budgets. And for the super anal retentive and slightly obsessive compulsive like myself, you can export all of your transactions into an excel worksheet and further sort, analyze and budget for the future (just categorize it all in Mint before exporting).

The website is simple and secure and requires a no fee registration in order to get started. (Found this blog post with pictures and step by step Mint preview if you're curious) The only thing that will hold you back is all your accounts be it loans, a checking account or savings, must already have an online account registered with a username and password that you can recall (otherwise, say hello to the click on forgot my password and wait for that automatic e-mail to come through, or spend some time registering, trust me, it’s worth the time investment).

On a side note, one tip I learned when I began setting up all my accounts was to keep my password simple yet complex – simple being something I could easily remember, made complicated with some caps locks, numbers and a different prefix or suffix for every single password you own (I have found that men tend to use the same password EVERYWHERE... remember when I mentioned it here?), thereby allowing yourself security in case one password does get hacked.

Know your trends people. Do you know how much you spend a month on gas, groceries and dining out? What are your largest monthly expenses? For us, it's rent... followed by groceries and then gas and I can also tell you our groceries come in around $350-400 and gas is roughly $250 (before the van... yes, I am a mini-van mom now.. but I have not figured out that trend as it's only been a month so far). I know if we're out of town visiting family, that we will save and have more room to spend on dining out or entertainment. I also know the impact of residency interviews (estimated at around $10K) will dip into our savings a bit but that if we cut back on some of the more variable expenses (like dining out, shopping and fun baby stuff that's want, not need...), our fixed costs won't hurt as much.

It's our family goal to make it to 10-20-70 and always pay off our consumer debt (think credit card bills) in full (because those finance charges will get you!) With that said, we will always tithe 10%, try to save 20% and hopefully only spend 70%. We might not be able to make it there this year or for a few more years... but we're trying and along the way, Mint is helping us.

I'm glad Mint isn't just an herb, but insight into our financial well-being. Makes fiscal sense to me!

Saying Good-Bye and Hello

2011-10-27T11:11:00.000-07:00

I still love you... I'm just not IN LOVE with you anymore.

We had some great memories but it's time to move on.

We just started growing apart.

We're not who we were seven years ago.

People change.

It's time for something new.

It's not you, it's me...

I've been sitting here for the last fifteen minutes with writer's block, unable to put any of my emotions on paper. I never thought this moment would be so difficult, or that I might be choked up with the inability to convey my farewells to people I've known and worked with over the past seven years. Alas, it has happened. I am without words. (Shocking.. right?!)

The initial "I'm not coming back" discussion went smoothly, the receipt of "separation procedures" was a quick read, the phone transferring was simple (I'll need to make another trip to the Verizon store later today to finalize it), even the discussion with the benefits representative with detailed instructions for a lay woman like myself to rollover my 401k was not too bad. Apparently, the good-bye e-mail is terribly difficult.

The Firm is the only reality of work and the real world that I have known since graduation. It's where I made my first grown-up friends. It's where I had my first big office all-hands meeting. It's where I got my first pay check. It's where I messed up and had to take ownership for my own mistakes. It's where I learned what the real world was all about. It's where I had my first real relationship break-up. It's where I had my first 401k. It's where I first ate lunch and dinner with my co-workers. It's where I first worked 15+ hour days. It's where I was first truly challenged. It's where I really first grew out of my comfort zone. It's where I first learned how to have a real conversation with grown-ups about mature topics (their kids, sports, politics, religion, and Hollywood gossip). It's where I first learned how to master the freeway and long drives in Southern California. It's where I had my first business trip. It's why I traveled for the first time to Dallas, New Jersey, Chicago, and Arizona. It's where I got my first business card. It's where I first taught a training class. It's where I first had an annual review. It's where I first cried at work. It's where I first got promoted. It's where I first learned about the Gospel. It's why I became intrigued by the Gospel. It's where I first had an excuse to live on my own in Corporate Housing for a special project. It's where I had my first name change. It's where I had my first maternity leave. And it's where I have been for most of my 20's.

The Firm has been my friend. The Firm has been my enemy. It has destroyed me.. it has celebrated with me.. it has praised me.. it has ripped me down. But slowly, over the course of seven meaningful years, it has defined me into who I am today. The experiences I have had there are not ones I would ever trade, not even for more kids at a younger age (though I do think it would have been nice). The knowledge that they have sent me off with will forever make me smarter, stronger, faster, and more capable and confident of what the world may throw at me.

I am grateful for the Firm. For what it taught me. For how it pushed me to be better. For the friends I have made there. For the memories I will hold onto forever. For the complimentary five star dining experiences. For the limos that shuttled me around at training. For the taking-up-space-in-my-closet-and-desk-too-much-overkill-but-I-love-it-anyway-branded-paraphernalia. For the line on my resume it will always reside on. For being part of my life for seven years. Thank you Firm.

I have chosen to leave the Firm so I can be at home with my son and future kids. I am also a temporary executive secretary for my husband while he is interviewing for residency by scheduling his interviews and organizing a workbook of key calendar dates and contacts. I maintain our budget, clean the house, cook the food, do the laundry and play with Jordan.

Along the way, a tender mercy from Heavenly Father came in the form of a job opportunity to work from home for 16 hours a week as an operations and finance director for a small executive search company. The relationship which led to this opportunity came while I was in client service, something I dreaded and hated last August and am now understanding the bigger picture is something we don't always comprehend until later. I met a fellow CMC alum who told me more about the Company and then introduced me to the President who is on the Ronald McDonald Charity Board. Turns out my college background and time as a camp counselor for the Ronald McDonald Camp for Good Times came in handy as I connected with both future co-workers about these shared interests. Isn't it funny how your prior choices can lead you to future opportunities?

It's true what they say.. when one door closes, another opens.

I'm closing the door to the Firm and saying good-bye.

But I'm also opening the door and saying hello.

True Love Or ...?

2011-10-25T20:09:00.000-07:00

At Church on Sunday, I was offered a choice of a bite size chocolate and I chose a Twix. I then politely asked if I could take another piece for my husband. Thoughtful right? I chose a Snickers for him though I knew Twix or Snickers would be winners.

I forgot about the piece of chocolate until Sunday night. Once I remembered, I excitedly told him about the surprise I got him at Church. I literally jumped up to get it. He wasn't as excited as me. He said he didn't feel like a candy bar and would take it with him to work the next day.

So imagine my disappointment and dejection when I saw the Snickers candy bar sitting on the table Monday afternoon. When I mentioned it to Andy, he said it was because he was saving it for his out of town trip (interview season has begun). That brought a smile to my face... temporarily... because after Jordan and I returned Tuesday afternoon from taking Daddy to LAX, guess what I saw on the table...? Not having moved since Sunday, the pang of rejection sitting in the form of a mini Snickers bar.

I grabbed my phone, in a daze of sadness, texted my husband, "I thought you loved me but you forgot the Snickers...sad face," to which he responded, "I left you the last Snickers!" ..... you see, long ago, I informed him that all the black romantic comedies I watched growing up had taught me the proper way to demonstrate love and that leaving the last piece of food for a girl (something most men DO NOT do) means they LOVE you! So simple! Thus far, my husband has never once shown me he loves me like the black romantic comedies imply.... that is, until now. True love defined by a candy bar. Of course.

Our Bodies Are Not the Same

2011-10-23T22:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to a dance class at my fancy gym and pretended I was 18. I raised the roof. I shimmied left to right. I stomped my feet. I whipped my hair. I moved my hips. I arched my back. And then... I got hurt. Funny thing is, I didn't even know I was hurt until later that night. In fact, I left the class feeling great and learning the Thriller moves, just in time for Halloween! It wouldn't be until later that night when I'd start to feel the soreness of my triceps and neck creep up on me. That joke the instructor made about how she wasn't advising us how hard to whip our heads for some of the moves which might result in a chiropractor visit started to be less funny.

I wasn't alone.

Andy had played football earlier that morning and apparently, pushed himself too hard and came home with a back strain.

Needless to say, we were in slow mode as we got ready for bed last night, struggling to maneuver ourselves, both complaining about the pain leftover from earlier that morning.

I guess our bodies just aren't the same as they used to be. I guess that's what age does to you. Meanwhile, our son is showing us how strong his lil growing body is as he held himself up on the pull-up bar for about three seconds at the park today and then almost five seconds via Skype for the family. What a show-off!

He has also been rolling from his stomach to his back and over again, trying to crawl (using his head more than his arms), and sitting up for almost 30 seconds before toppling over.

I know it's cliche but sometimes I can't help think... wow, that lil munchkin came out of my body. It is absolutely amazing to think about life and wonder how it all works. Moreover, to think... just a year ago, Jordan was just a murmur in my stomach, a headache turned migraine and a growing bump and these days, he's a changing person with more personality and movement than ever before, trying to laugh and squeal and grab everything around him. It's comforting to know ... though our bodies aren't the same, neither is Jordan's.

He Thinks He's A Big Boy

2011-10-20T07:25:00.000-07:00

One of the most peculiar things about being a parent is the joy in watching your child grow and develop. A little over five months old, Jordan wants to be part of our world by doing what we do. I think if he could walk now, he would.. how much he loves standing up and seeing the world from anew perspective, and how much he loves sitting and grabbing whatever we surround him with (until he plummets over in about 20-30 seconds).

He has learned the clever art of crying at an exceptionally loud volume for just a spurt with his eyes strongly shut tight for emphasis when something is taken away from him that he wants a part of (think sippy cup of a toy he cannot quite reach). Little does he know we laugh secretly and silently as we observe his short spurts quickly calmed by a new distraction to something else (because we refuse to appease him by giving him what he wants everytime - read closely, that means we do give in sometimes).

Lately, he has become increasingly mesmerized by the bottle and the sippy cup. He wants to hold the sippy cup like a big boy around the two handles and tries to put the mouthpiece into his own mouth with limited success. With the bottle of water, he tries so hard with his tiny little hands, to grasp around the bottle and somehow coordinate the movement into his mouth. Most often, his tiny hands are not enough to hold onto the rotund shape of the bottle, and his hands somehow fall off and then are quickly moving around to try again. Other times, he is able to hoover the bottle towards his face and I have become enthralled with just watching him miss and hit himself in the forehead or his cheeks with the bottle nipple and then unceasingly try again (he's definitely not a quitter). Sometimes, the bottle changes angle and he instead thwarts part of the bottom of his Tommy Tippy (think wide stout little bottles) into his mouth (homeboy's got a big mouth... for a baby that is). And most amusingly, he is learning from himself and from us and starting to understand the whole cause and effect thing. I pressed down on the bottle nipple to squirt some water into his mouth and he realized this concept of pushing the bottle nipple did something he wanted. So when the bottle was returned to him, his hands went directly towards pushing down on the bottle's nipple, which could be a coincidence if it's too soon for him to recognize such relationships, but at the time, I thought, oh my, he's trying to imitate me to get the desired effect of water into his mouth!

And how he loves to eat solid food. And how he will start to stuff his bib into his mouth if you are not quick enough with the spoon (note: Andy and I both eat VERY fast, we'd like to think it's efficient but really we're probably just impatient like Jordan) or even start to cry - another thing we are trying to minimize, though being ready with the spoon full of food does help to reduce the amount of clean-up we have as he starts shifting and getting food all over himself or whatever he is sitting on. He loves his peas, bananas, and avocado and he is just enamored with water and the art of trying to get it into his mouth. Once he does, he can be seen enjoying the sensation of this new liquid without flavor but somehow satiating his thirst. I love watching him as he takes in the water, excited and eager for more.

Boy, what an adventure eating solids has been. As much fun as it is to watch him, record him and talk about it, man is it time consuming! They weren't kidding when they said be prepared. For someone who thought nursing was time consuming in the beginning, I am the first to admit, at least there were times when I could be on the phone whether it was playing with Words with Friends, browsing pinterest or e-mail while he sleeps and eats. Not with solids. He has to be awake with solids. Hence, there is not Words with Friends in between mouthfuls, no Pinterest while he munches on his solids, and no catching up on e-mails. I am fully involved, fully committed and to my opponents on Words with Friends, yes - that is why I have been lacking in playtime lately.

Guess it doesn't really matter - it's worth it and I can't wait until he learns how to eat for himself. Such is the case with life and raising kids... as I imagine as the days become filled with more active responsibility outside of diaper changes and feedings, they also become more responsive, hence more entertaining and fun. It's great making him laugh.

Side note: as his personality develops, I am noticing his personality more and more. If he's not hungry or tired, he is completely happy playing on his own in the crib or on the matt or in the bumbo with whatever toy is in sight, or watching Baby Einstein if you put him into a comfortable position before doing so. But he also loves being social if you so choose to interact with him, he just doesn't have a preference much in terms of happiness as both make him extremely happy. The other day, we went to the mall for a Picture People session I regretfully purchased on Living Socials (think very low quality but immediate results high school hoochie momma photos but for babies) and he was so happy, smiling and interacting with our photographer. She pulled out a big styrofoam pumpkin and he was in heaven trying to put it in his mouth. When he became too distracted, she removed it and he was not happy. But instead of crying or reacting with a tantrum, he just remained still, emotionless, and stoically stared at her. No more smiles, no more cooing, just a stare as if to silently declare, "You took my pumpkin, I'm not playing with you anymore, and no, I will not smile for you." It was really quite entertaining to watch him stare her down but almost a bit intimidating to think my baby has developed a personality already!

Pinterest Much?

2011-10-17T22:21:00.000-07:00

You could say I'm a creepy facebook stalker. You could say I waste too much time on facebook. You could say all these things and you'd probably be most definitely correct. But you'd only be describing yourself ... maybe?.... maybe not. *sigh

Fortunate for me, recent happenings have me purging myself of my old disgusting-facebook-time-wasting-noisy-and-way-to-into-other people's-business-and-photos-indulgent habits. Instead, any free internet browsing time I have is spent blogging and browsing through my pinterest feed. It may sound surprising but trust me when I say, this new thing known as "Pinterest" is actually useful, inspirational, and resourceful. Really? Tell me more! Okay!!

Pinterest is an online sharing board which enables you to bookmark websites (blog posts, articles, Etsy for sale stuff, etc.) by image and organize by "boards" that you name and arrange on your page. You have friends who can see your pins and vice versa and you can like, comment and repin. Through the powers of sharing (which is caring), I bypass spending any time on the worldwide web to find interesting things to pin and instead, focus my time browsing that which has already been pinned. I repin things I find noteworthy and await my friends' finds. Through Pinterest, I have found recipes, cleaning and organizing tips, cute, creative, thrifty and brilliant DIY tips, decorating ideas, daydreams of a future home, photography concepts, hair tutorials, trendy outfits, witty sayings and funny posters, and wonderful gift ideas!

When Pinterest first became a daily part of my life, I thought - how awesome would it be to also have work out tips on here as well? It seemed only yesterday when my wishes of where Pinterest could take me have now evolved into reality. Most recently, I have seen a bunch of work out tips on Pinterest.

So I haven't technically tried any of the recipes I pinned under my "Miam!" (yum in French) board, I haven't even given much thought to the DIY mischief that could be part of my life, instead I have pinned and sat back, enjoying the repins which confirm to me that these are pinworthy. But today, I broke that streak by trying my first Pinterest.... dun dun dunnnnn.. work out!

I revised it a bit.... here is what I did twice (as Andy observed and told me I would not be able to asleep as it is 10:30 PM on a Monday night).

50 jumping jacks

5 normal push-ups, 5 girly push-ups (because my normals are just a plank bending a bit...)

20 bicycles

20 climb-ups (I had not clue what these were, you just go into a plan position and bring your knee to your chest one at a time)

plank for 30 seconds

7 burpees (also had not a clue what these were, you start in standing position, you jump with your hands to your feet, then jump back into a plank position, do a push-up, jump your feet back to meet your hands and then jump into the air and whoop for joy!)

I don't care! I'm ecstatic with the accomplishment I have made of finally following through with something I learned from Pinterest.

Let me know if you want an invite - or you can request one and wait a few days. And maybe by then, I will have mustered the courage to try a recipe... or a craft... or a hair tutorial.

Clarification On Eye Lids

2011-10-16T22:36:00.000-07:00

A lot of people have been asking me questions about what my prior eye-lid post meant. Apparently the photos I included were not close enough to demonstrate the true nature of the lids. So I took another one of his folds.

Notice the subtle line above his eyes? That is the fold that now exists above his eyes. If you compare that to the photo from the prior post - you will see there were no prior lines above his eyes.

Hopefully that helps.

Note: Most non-Asians have a fold a lot thicker than Asians.

A Lesson On Lids

2011-10-12T23:40:00.000-07:00

It's never good to caveat a blog post with, I'm not being racist... but I'm not being racist.

It is a known fact to any Asian person that most Asians have single eyelids and most Caucasians (any pretty much anything not Asian) have double eyelids.

So what exactly are double eyelids? Look for a fold over the eyelid, it may be thin, thick or in between. If there is nothing besides an eyelid, you have a single eyelid. But you are also most likely Asian and already knew that.

It is also a known fact that many Asians regard eyelid surgery (to alter single eyelids to double eyelids) as a common matter of fact cosmetic must do.

My own aunt was about to give me free eyelid surgery when I turned 18 so I could go to college without people knowing of my single eyelids.

I began cutting little slips of scotch tape when I was 15 to tape my eyelids and thereby create a double eyelid.

I got a real natural double eyelid (though small) at 16.

I discovered double eyelid tape at 17 (they are mass produced and sold everywhere in Taiwan).

I discovered eyelash glue works even better at 19 (they are packaged with a thin application brush in Japan, Korea and Taiwan).

I never got the eyelid surgery.

My other double eyelid (also small) came in at 27. I am convinced it was the constant use of the eye glue. My best friend also got a double eyelid at 27. She has been using eye glue as long as me.

Dreams do come true.

My son was born with single eyelids. Everyone in my family said it was from me, even though I have two double eyelids (yes, I know, they're small!) which were materially forced into existence with tape and glue. Everyone in my family wondered why Jordan didn't get his dadddy's big double eyelid eyes.

The other day, my best friend wondered outloud.... "Do you think Jordan will put tape or eye glue on his eye to get his double eyelid?" We laughed at how ridiculous we sounded. Both of our round eye big double eyelid husbands do not understand our eyelid obsession.

On September 22, 2011, Jordan's right eye gained a lid.

Eight days later, on September 30, 2011 - Jordan awoke and had two double eyelids.

Dreams really do come true!*

Single Eyelids

One Double Eyelid

Two Double Eyelids (with Uncle Ray, who also just recently got his lids but he never used tape or eye glue... maybe if we waited, they would have come in naturally?....)

*disclaimer - I will still love my future kids if they have single eyelids and I will still think they are the world's most adorable baby ever!

Birthday Traditions

2011-10-11T08:05:00.001-07:00

Even though Andy and I do not have any birthday traditions of our own, yesterday (Andy's birthday) got us thinking about what sort of traditions we'd like to have for our children to look forward to each year.

I had a few birthday parties growing up, always had a cake, always had presents and always felt it was a special day. As I grew older though, birthdays quickly lost their appeal as did gifts and the only thing I really looked forward to was that birthday wish after blowing out some candles.

I had grand plans about Andy's 27th birthday - from making a homemade ice cream cake for Jeff (brother-in-law who has the SAME birthday!) and Andy when Jeff and Tammy visited this weekend to thoughtful gifts and a sweet written card from Jordan and me. None of the above was accomplished and though the weekend was filled with a visit to BJs for some birthday pizookies and pizza, Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles, ice cream cake, soda pop and lots of fun summer blockbuster viewings, I failed to put together anything even close to creative.

I thought about a birthday banner. I thought about a birthday slideshow. I thought about a birthday card. I thought about a birthday frame. Thoughts can't get you that far.

I got as far as printing photos from Costco and using existing frames we had, buying an already made red velvet cake from Costco and creating some Andy specific Cranium questions for some friends who joined us for Family Home Evening last night.

It was not what I had envisioned, not even close to the creative awesomeness that I had hoped for, but it was what it was. And over dinner at Rubio's last night, we brainstormed what sort of birthday traditions we would create for our family. Needless to say, beyond establishing that we wanted traditions, we didn't get too far as we inhaled our food and rushed home in time for FHE. I think it'd be fun to always have a photo of the birthday individual with a cake and candles and to see the changes over the years. Andy didn't let me put a candle into the cake last night or take any photos (I was immobile as I fed Jordan in the corner) so for that, I'm a bit bummed. Oh well, there's always next year. He's stuck with me for every birthday here on out, and that my friends, is so exciting.

Happy Birthday Andy and Jeff!

Dear Boppy....

2011-10-09T23:52:00.001-07:00

Dear Wanna-Be Boppy,

I know a boppy is a popular nursing pillow and that I call you my wanna-be boppy or even boppy for short. I want you to know it is bceause when Jill, my cousin's wife gave you to me - all I knew was that you looked like the American boppy even though you were from a Taiwan store called Mammy Village. When I went to the site to check you out, I was apalled by the actual boobs and breast pumps in the product image gallery, as well as the postpartum bodyshaping and weird keep your belly small type underwear shapewear products. Then, when I went to a breastfeeding class at the hospital and the lactation Nazis told me a brest friend was far better than a boppy, I was a bit sad since you were my wanna-be boppy, not wanna-be brest friend but you did not seem to mind since you had a button similar to the brest friend's velcro, so really - you were better than a boppy or a brest friend!

When I was pregnant, I liked walking around with you around my waist, giving me support in the rear to balance with my growing baby bump. I enjoyed your existence as a "hey, I'm pregnant friends" accessory, back support, and even attempted to sleep next to you a couple of times (I found my body pillow from college was more comfortable and less awkwardly shaped but I still loved you so much). You were my best inanimate friend.

When Jordan was born, you rested beneath him, giving him a nice contour to rest inside. His tiny body fit so perfect into your arms and he loved the company you kept. We also invited you to our nursing sessions as a cushion for Jordan to rest atop, but my doctor advised me against feeding atop of nursing pillows (to help reduce spit-up and improve digestion), so our time was cut short. You remained a permanent fixture during Jordan's day time naps and continued to bring joy into our lives.

Now that I'm no longer pregnant and Jordan is no longer a newborn with limited movement and restrained neck muscles, we have fallen apart. Sometimes I forget you are there, waiting for us, just letting the dust fall onto you. Though we did not abandon you, you are far from present in our lives these days. The few times I even tried to put Jordan on top of you, nuzzled in like he was in his newborn days, he screamed and arched his back and stretched his arms and legs out in an attempt to roll over and out of you. I know you were sad, but I want you to know - he does not know what he does, he is too young to know the pain he may have caused you.

Well, I am excited to tell you - we have found another purpose for you. You have graduated today. From now on, you will serve as a cushion for my laptop and an intermediary between the heat from the computer and my sensitive lap. You will also serve a dual-purpose as a cushion for my husband's neck. You are similar to a neck pillow sold in airline gift shops but much bigger and more comfortable.

Though we have grown and changed... you are still able to serve a purpose in our lives and hence, remain a part of our family.

It's funny how our relationship makes me think about how as life changes... as my worries change from how to put bread on the table to how to make bread on the table to how to feed my children the bread on the table to how to teach my children how to have bread on a table for themselves... there is a constant source of love and support from God and Jesus and that I am guided along the way through the Prophet Thomas S. Monson and his Apostles as well as our Church leaders.

It reminds me of how much I love the living waters of our faith. Though Church is every week and can feel routine and repetitive besides General Conference which is once every six months and Stake Conferences which are for a group of Churches in our area every so often as well (because I'm unsure how often they really are... I think also 6 months...?), every message spoken is to be heard with the heart AND mind, enabling us to know for ourselves there is truth in action. I know sometimes I may hear the same advice, the same prophetic counsel, or even the same "miracle" testimonies of others, but each time I do - the emotional epiphanies and uplifting tranquility I feel remind me that the Spirit I am feeling is testifying of the truth there. It is quite tremendous and I am lucky to have these constant reminders of why the commandments are important, why prayer matters, why scripture study will strengthen me, why a good attitude is imperative, and the list goes on... but why all these things matter and help us to enjoy the full blessings God bestows upon us.

Pretty neat. Thanks for giving me that insight wanna-be boppy. You've done so much. You're great - don't you ever forget.

Oh... You're Right

2011-10-07T16:59:00.000-07:00

My mom recently gave me two pounds of beef jerky - one for my sister-in-law, Tammy who came to visit this weekend. I just had five pieces for a mid-afternoon snack. Andy put the bag of jerky away for me, commenting that tonight was going to be interesting being in the same bed as me.

I was busy so I didn't pay much attention. He continued in his silly you can hear the grin and he probably looks way awkward turtle sort of thing. I turned around and asked why.

"You don't know that beef jerky gives you gas?" he asked....

"No it doesn't!" I exclaimed.

I've obviously never had that much beef jerky in one sitting. A few minutes later, as I saw on the couch browsing the internet with cooing from Jordan on his playmat nearby.... it started.

And after a few occurrences of such... I told Andy... "Oh... you're right!"

I am now going to a yoga class at my fancy gym. I really hope this class has music but being that it's yoga... highly unlikely. *gulp.

We Got Ourselves A Routine Folks!

2011-10-06T07:51:00.000-07:00

It only took five months for me to finally establish and fall into a comfortable, effective and efficient (yes former auditor am I), yet flexible routine at home with Jordan. After many an exasperated sighs and regretfully defeated glances into a mirror, I grew tired of the miserable looking still in my pajamas at 11 AM without brushing my teeth and oh yeah, don't forget that nasty kink in my hair, when was the last time I washed it curiosity reflection that was none other than me, a new mom struggling to make it work.

Yet for the longest time, a routine felt inevitably prolonged especially with us taking off for vacation in Orlando for a week with Andy's family, another two weeks in Utah for one of Andy's routine, and then camping last weekend (which means a lot of sleeping in the pack n play for Jordan).

Alas, I'm happy to report the good news, the exciting news, the amazing news, is the following
1) one look from Jordan melted my heart and made me forget all my worries about the dirty sink, the dust covered furniture, the nasty bathrooms, the undone laundry, the unfinished projects, the unwritten e-mails, the errands to be run and the lists to be finished
2) despite having less time during the day to myself now that Jordan is constantly awake, the nights are much better and my sleep patterns have normalized to include sleep
3) I've learned that I can't do it all in a day, I shouldn't be a facebook stalker-holic, and I prioritize what I want on my list.
4) having a supportive husband makes you feel less of a failure when you report on your day and all you did was play with the baby and change 4 poopy diapers
5) my routine is not always so routine

One day out of the week, Jordan and I go to the grocery store.
One day out of the week, Jordan and I go visit my mom.
One day out of the week, we don't leave the house and I lounge in my PJs all day
One day out of the week, we vacuum, dust or clean the bathroom (normally not all of the above).
One day out of the week, we visit with friends.
And that's five days. Seems like nothing right? Yeah, just wait until you have a baby.

Things we do regularly include praying, scripture study, the dishes, laundry (it's more like every 2-3 days but frankly, it feels like everyday), making the bed, brushing my teeth and putting on my contacts (we add it to the list or else it never gets done), sending a "Daily Dose of Jordan" photo to a few choice family members, making dinner, playing Words with Friends, and the rest is engulfed with baby time - playing, singing, storytelling, diaper changing, stroller walks, etc. As for working out, I aim for 5 days a week and probably end up around 3 but with five pounds left to go, my pre-pregnancy weight goals before child #2 may actually be attainable!

Sometimes the impossible just doesn't seem possible. Everyone said - you'll adapt... you'll adjust... you'll get it. They were right.. it just takes time! So for the moms who are just starting off, or for the pregnant moms who have no clue how they will get there once the baby comes out and is not so easy to take everywhere, rest assured - if I can do it - so can you!

You may even have time to make up baby stories/songs:

That's not my baby, his hands are too small

That's not my baby, his head is not bald

That's not my baby, he poops a lot more

That's not my baby, that's not what he wore

That's not my baby, his eyes have no lids

That's not my baby, he's wearing a bib!

Thats' not my baby, his lips are too thin

That's not my baby, a cleft on the chin?!

That's not my baby, I'd know if he laughed

That's not my baby, that's what I just said!

Jordan and I made that up while we were driving yesterday. Twas much fun.

Full Circle

2011-10-05T07:57:00.000-07:00

When I was a baby. I imagine my parents were my world. Jordan's recently been attempting to kiss us by taking a big bite towards our face - he only knows to open his mouth when confronted with our face and the word "kiss." We are his world. We change him... feed him... bathe him... take him everywhere with us... entertain him... sing to him... cuddle with him... sleep with him... and really, I suppose he has no choice in the matter.

When I was a toddler, I'm told I squealed with joy at any expression of love and was always trying to talk. I ran to my parents with open arms, joined them in song and conversation (attempted) and could not stop loving them more. I wanted to be them. I wanted to do what they did.

When I was a little older.. an adolescent, I asked why. And then I followed up any answer with another why. I enjoyed irritating my older cousins and parents by repeating everything they said, refused to play the "let's be quiet game," and didn't let out that I could now spell (because parents always spell out what they don't want you to know). I was told to stop talking back but I had not a clue what I did wrong. I liked using the phrase "I told you so!" with my hands on my hips, elbows perked at matching 45 degree angles, as if to add how much I really told 'em so!

When I was a tween, I rolled my eyes and got in trouble. I talked back and I got in trouble. I didn't play with my brother and I got in trouble. I didn't help out around the house and I got in trouble. I got in trouble a lot. Or so it felt.

When I was a teen, I just wanted to hang out with my friends. I learned what it mean to be grounded. My parents kept telling me how important college was, kept sending my to SAT classes, Chinese school and made me play the piano. I muttered under my breath a lot and felt like I knew more than my parents. Duh.

When I was in my 20's, I missed my parents. I hoped they would keep paying for me but I enjoyed being able to treat them to a meal with my real job. I wanted to make them proud but I hated when they nagged me. I wanted to know their opinion but I didn't want to let on that I did.

When I was in my late 20's, my parents became my friends. I could sometimes talk to them like adults now. But... they were still my parents.

When I had a kid, I realized for the first time - how much my parents actually did for me. As I am worrying about every odd breath out of my son's mouth and nose, I'm appreciating the efforts, the rules, the boundaries, the worrying and the love they incessantly showered me with (despite my rebelliously difficult times).

Funny how it comes full circle. I don't think my children will ever love me as much as I love them because I can't imagine the love I feel for Jordan being reciprocated. That is how much I love him!

Thirty Before 30

2011-09-27T12:17:00.000-07:00

Turning 30 sucks, I don't care what anyone says about it - I don't care how positive you are about it, the truth of the matter is - it's that big milestone to remind you that your 20's, as miserable or as wonderful as they were, are OVER. Turning 16 was fun. Turning 18 was fun. Turning 21 was fun. Heck, turning 25 and having the right to rent a car was fun. But turning 30? Highly doubtful.

The only highlight of turning 30 is somewhere, I had a "Thirty Before 30" list. I can't seem to find it anymore so in the interest of turning 30 without a list, I've recreated one to hold myself accountable towards for the next year (I'm not 30 yet - thank goodness). So I thought to myself.. how do I construct a list that truly represents what I wanted to accomplish at 30 before I was a year away? In order to do that, I have to go back to the future (love the movie) and think of what I hoped to accomplish by 30 when I was oh - say 20. So here's my list along with commentary and what will shock you are the things that are on there, indicating what I hadn't done by the age of 20.

1. Get married - done!

2. Have kid(s)- done! one counts!

3. Buy a house - On hold after I married a student.

4. Decorate the newly purchased home - see 3 above

5. Go camping - Andy took me for the first time last year and we're going again this weekend!

6. Go to Europe, specifically Greece - cuz it's amazing and I really love Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (don't lie, you do too!)

7. Go skinny dipping - not sure if this will ever happen.. too risky for my likes but somehow I thought by 30 I might have the guts.

8. Learn how to sew - done, not well... but it just says learn.

9. Get my CPA - done after a brutal number of tries

10. Go on a cruise - pending

11. Go sailing - done

12. Go hiking - done

13. Go on a real vacation (Vegas does not count nor do training weekends before or after, nor do wedding weekends) - done...the honeymoon was my first real vacation (sad huh?)

14. Write a book - pending

15. Learn to cook - I'll say accomplished, it doesn't say learn to cook WELL, just learn to cook

16. Read Fountainhead - my college roommate did and I was so impressed... but never go around to it, the longest bookz I've ever read are A Prayer for Owen Meany (Simon Birch) and Harry Potter!

17. Stop biting my nails - not sure if this will happen

18. Go to a concert - (the Super Korean concert in tenth grade and the college concerts I got to go to for free as a resident assistant don't feel like they really count)

19. Get a six pack ... or a four pack, heck just a line down my stomach indicating I am somewhat ripped - don't think I'll ever accomplish this one

20. Go surfing - done, didn't get up on the board but trying counts

21. Get published - done page 46 anyone?

22. Learn to play the guitar - yeah, some things won't get crossed off my list

23. Run a 5k - done

24. Run a 10k - done

25. Run a half marathon - again, some things won't get crossed off my list cuz I'm over running

26. Do a pull-up - again, some things probably won't get crossed off my list... EVER!

27. Go to the Oscars - I thought I could go as a seat filler after two years with the Firm, but I only made it to the Emmys three times (and we left early the third time because we were a bit bored), guess it's a lost cause unless my brother makes it in the industry!

28. Do some meaningful philanthropic work - done through the Ronald McDonald Camp for Good Times and Philanthro and the Church

29. Learn to french braid - still trying

30. Do the splits - probably never going to happen

And there you have it - in no particular order. 15/30 .... 50% ain't half bad.

Secret Sigh of Relief

2011-09-24T09:00:00.000-07:00

I got invited to my first "adult only" wedding ceremony (though to be fair, I'm sure there were ones in the past but being "single" or "plus one" only, I never really gave it much thought). At first, I was a bit taken back, thinking, how sophisticated of them to not want any cute kids at the ceremony and reception (like my own). But after giving it some thought, I let out a secret sigh of relief.

Given the timing, Jordan will be old enough to eat solids and we can get a reliable sitter to put him to bed and go off into the night, dancing, drinking (Shirley Temples and Apple Cider anyone?), and dining. It will be a devine adult date with just Andy and myself. Yes, the photos of Jordan in a tie grabbing at the dinnerware would have been cute. Yes, the photos of Jordan with his dressed up parents would also been adorable and one for the memory books. But the reality is, if the kids are unwanted at the ceremony and reception, then it's actually terrific and applaudable that they said so and made it clear (the groom has a super cute nephew, so it's really sadder for them than it is for us).

The smart soon to be newlyweds have openly avoided the kid who has a meltdown during the ceremony and in essence ruining their vows, the cliche Bible verses (but still very heartwarming), and beauty that goes with marriage.... the kids crying out loud (kids and timing, you know what I'm saying?) or the ones running around on the dance floor and in between the adult conversations happening.

So I guess it isn't so bad, and I'll be much happier when Jordan's first wedding is one where he is welcomed at - cries, tantrums, smiles, cooing, drooling and everything in between.

They Sure Grow Up Fast!

2011-09-23T08:02:00.000-07:00

It's cliche to say this when my son is only four (almost five months - one more week!) months old, but I think it's especially apparent these first few years that my baby boy is growing up so fast.

The other day (Sept 14th), he sprouted a little white nub of a tooth in his gums. He had been drooling before then, more than usual, so we knew it was coming and yet we had not a clue what exactly that meant. Since then, we have quickly learned it means everything shoved directly into his mouth, exasperated and cute cries of frustration when the hand-eye coordination does not help him get whatever toy of the moment is in his hands into his mouth, immediate red marks on his face from toys that have hit him in the face instead of lodging itself into his mouth (he doesn't cry about this, but he also face planted quite a bit when he was beginning tummy time, years ago when he was oh, say two or three months old), and lots of random cries of pure pain only calmed by a bit of Baby Orajel and some immediate cuddling action paired with Wheels on the Bus singing (this part I love).

We attempted to get him acquainted with a bottle nipple during his teething .... I think we failed, notice his grimace.

The days of sleeping through the night are long gone since his teeth now consistently bother him. I figure he wakes up crying from the my teeth are growing aches and pains and subsequently realizes, oh, wait - I could eat! I've been there myself, sometimes waking up at 10 AM, missing breakfast and just moving onto brunch, and this has helped me to be understanding and patient. This plus the fact that his nighttime feedings are fairly quick these days, maybe 5-10 minutes (or so it feels) and I have stopped checking the phone to see what time it is.

He has also been testing this thing we call "sitting." He can sit on his own for a good 5 seconds before falling over, but he is enamored with it and will give you a cheesy gummy grin if you lift him up from lying on his back to sitting. The view is different and he seems just as amused as Mommy and Daddy by how long he can sit before falling over either directly on his face, on his side, or a combination of the two. That said, his time in the Bumbo is a lot more appreciated since he sits straight up in it (I have found that it helps if he is wearing something fitted and long so that the tightness of the restrictive clothing keeps him upright in the Bumbo, call me a cheat but it is better than straightening him every other minute).

On his way down...

Dog Gone Cute!

Lastly, though the back of his head has a prominent bald spot from his habit of turning his head right, then left, then right, then left again when he falls asleep, and though his eyebrows are just barely there, he has somehow managed to follow in yieyie's footsteps (my dad is one of few Asian men who can grow a full beard, mustache, and some...) and grown a mustache of his own! Babies these days, they sure grow up fast!

Hello, I am ESL

2011-09-20T22:45:00.000-07:00

So I technically passed the assessment for ESL (English second language) in elementary school even though English was indeed my second language. I can still vividly remember going to Montessori when I was five for my first day at American school. Like a distant dream, I can see a cloud of white with two distinct figures as the camera focuses in... me pointing to my fuzzy Sanrio stickers on my 80's neon pink Jem lunchbox (I don't remember, so I made it up cuz Jem was so cool) while some round eyed little Caucasian girl with yellow hair pointed back at it. When she opened her mouth to speak, out came jibberish to which I nodded and thought in Mandarin, huh?

I would walk back home with my yeye who came to pick me up everyday after school, telling him about my day in my native tongue, Mandarin. I didn't realize I was different. I didn't realize I didn't speak the language. I was oblivious. Saturday morning cartoons (I wasn't allowed to watch TV from Monday - Friday after school) were recorded and re-watched over and over and somewhere along the way, I must have started speaking English. Broken English, tainted with bad grammar, incorrect tenses and made up words. It didn't matter. I was speaking Engrish.

When I started elementary school at Camino Grove in the middle of first grade, the other Asian Chinese kids I met would inform me of my horrible English, make fun of my use of "funner" (it's not a word Daisy!) and bully me into showing them my report card full of checkmarks for needs improvement as it related to sentence structure, grammar, use of words, use of the English language, etc. What little self-esteem I had plummeted and I wished so badly that I got it, but man was English hard. Just so hard.

The leader of the Asian pack , Jade Chien, had thick pink rimmed glasses and a matching string to keep 'em close by and an obnoxious know-it-all voice that made me shiver with extreme fear. She was just awful. After getting my green grapes (the ones my mum packed for me in ziploc bag) and other snacks (I somehow only remember the green grapes, my mum took 'em off of the stems) taken from a daily game of "Do what I say Slave!" from Jade and her entourage (yes, even at the age of eight, it is possible), I hungered for something to munch on, ravenous for anything before dinner when my parents picked me up at 6 everyday (I was enrolled in this after school Chinese school program from 3 - 6 PM). My mum soon noticed and wondered why the snacks she prepared for me were not sufficient. I quickly fibbed and told her I was sharing with my friends (cuz sharing is caring, right?). She gently told me that was fine but since these snacks were a token of her love for me, I should be careful not to share it all and eat some myself. I attempted this logic with Jade but got lost in her rebuttal and ended up without grapes and my other snacks once more.

To make a long story short (and because the long version is in the form of my creative college thesis entitled Growing Up ABC), I got bullied some more to the point where my mum eventually quit her job and opted for something part time so she could pick me up from school at 3 PM and take me home, where I got all the snacks I wanted, a lot more free time for extracurricular activities like piano, dance, various crafty art classes, and trips to the library for a lot of books to read. As for Chinese school, I was part of the lucky crew of Asian kiddos who went on Saturday morning from 9 - 12 (yes, I sacrificed my Saturday morning cartoons, Saved by the Bell and California Dreams).

Since we lived three blocks from a tiny library about 1000 sq feet since I was six, trips to the library were once every 2-3 days and I poured myself into the reality found in these books, finding myself reading books until 2 or 3 AM for most of my elementary school existence. A good book (by my standards) had to be finished ASAP! I could not wait to come home from school the next day to finish it!

And then, in the fourth grade, I miraculously got it. English that is (I mean, to the extent that I got it today...which is not to say fully, but a huge improvement compared to my ESL days). And I attribute "getting it" to all the books I read.

I have been thinking about all of this because 1) I recently went to the library for the first time since college (which doesn't really count since you go there to study and look for studious cute guys), 2) I want to teach my son Chinese - be it Mandarin or Cantonese and 3) I need to start making some parental changes to my routine with Jordan to incorporate both 1 and 2.

Okay, so I know the cards are against me in terms of raising Jordan with trilingual capabilities considering I don't speak a lick of Cantonese, Andy speaks some Mandarin and both of us are fairly proficient in English (again, read above, maybe not so much on my part). But as I was walking around the library this last weekend, looking for some books, I got to thinking....

This is an environment I feel very comfortable in. Even with a different library, in a different town, with different catalogue and check-out tools (technology these days is insane!), it's the same quiet and safe comfort of the library that I felt so many years ago. And even when I was a smidgen away from being "ESL," the books I read, or poured over (be it not exactly literary masterpieces, more like lots of Sweet Valley High, Babysitter's Club, R.L.Stine, V.C. Andrews, Mary Higgins Clark, Judy Blume and Roald Dahl) helped me. Who would have thought, right?

So I really should try to take Jordan to the library more, give him a sanctuary like I had growing up and also, these recipe books and craft books are something worth checking out! This then got me thinking about opportunities with learning a language. Yes, being trilingual or even bilingual are very difficult tasks to accomplish, but if I don't even try... I won't have done my parents any justice.

I know I may face defeat, that my son may refuse to speak Mandarin or Cantonese in fear of being "weird" and not American (much of us Asian kids went through this identity crisis growing up), or that he may not have enough examples or native speakers around to learn from, but if I don't even try.... I have given up without a fight. And if I am ESL and can learn to love reading and feel completely comfortable immersed in an American library full of English books.... well the sky's the limit right?

Hello, I'm ESL... hopefully it will come in handy when I try to help my son be CSL.

Narcissistic Me

2011-09-17T22:30:00.000-07:00

Every parent thinks their child is the cutest thing ever. I am different, or so I'd like to think. At times, I think - what a funny smirk Jordan. Or, hmmm - that is an interesting glance. And by funny, I mean "funny looking" and by interesting I mean "interestingly appalling."

Like most parents though, I also have my moments of ... dang, that is one cute kid. Did I really create that? Did you really come from me and Andy? I cannot help but feel egotistical as my thoughts wander this way, ashamed of the pride I feel at something that is fleeting and materialistic (because shouldn't it be personality and temperament, not deliciously chunky legs and a convincingly heartbreaking smile?!) Like it or not, the narcissism I once acknowledged in my own mother as she boasted of my brother and me (as I rolled my eyes in scorn) is now apparent in myself as I pridefully enjoy my son's better moments.

His gummy smile. The bald spot on the back of his head (because as he falls asleep, he wavers between turning his head left and right and ends up going back and forth no less than ten times, rubbing what little hair he was born with). The rolls on his legs. The giggles that OGO has labeled as literate in whale. The open mouth kisses (he doesn't know how to kiss but he will open his mouth and touch your cheek with his open slobbery mouth) he loves giving. His tiny baby fingers that now open up and mesh with yours if you so let him. His edible toes that clap together and have recently found their way into his mouth and hands. His soft cheeks. His tiny butt. His big single lid eyes (if you're not Asian and confused, I'll explain this in another post, if you're Asian and don't understand, you probably have double eye-lids) that burrow his forehead every time he stretches them wide open.

And to make matters worse, I think he got it from me because little homeboy loves staring at himself in the mirror. I know they say it's because babies love facial expressions, but hey, I have facial expressions that do not make him as happy as his own.

Case in point, this photo was taken with him looking at himself in the bathroom mirror.

And this photo is him with me, using the i-phone functionality to take a photo we see. Yes, he has my nose... for now.

Hey...no matter how narcissistic we are, there's always worse. Like Will and Jada Smith who named their son and daughter, Jaden and Willa, respectively. I think that's even worse than naming your child after you. It's like you wanted to, but you thought, well if I alter it a bit, it's only a metamorphosis of me and is therefore, not so bad but just as great. HAHA! Most recently, I heard a joke on KROQ that the reason they were having marital problems (though the rumors have since been dismissed and I am glad because I think they're awesome besides the naming thing) must be because of their daughter's annoying song, Whip My Hair. Now if you have not heard of this song, you must listen to it because it is the most annoying song you will ever encounter and Kevin and Bean were spot on. She whips her hair back and forth. On repeat. There is even a music video. Really now?

Internet Footprints...

2011-09-15T09:10:00.000-07:00

As the world of blogging turns, many of my friends have opted to go private. They control who sees their blogs through an invite only option that most blogs allow. I have often weighed the option of going private, but have instead resorted to placing self-imposed limits on what I will and won't share via our blog. I'm not a huge photo blogging person but as my post about Orlando demonstrates, as difficult as it may seem, people are capable of change.

While most bloggers like to share stories complete with photo depictions and others just like the lure of having your blog made into a blog book (it's all the rage!) for keepsake and for your future posterity to have, I'm more of a therapeutic blogger. Yes, I do it for selfish reasons. I like to write, re-read my own writings, and laugh at myself in the future.

Ever since my mom gave me my very own "My Diary," around ten, I have been scribbling nothings of my life. I still have notebooks from grade, middle and high school of my day to day accounts, complete with drawn photos of where we all sat when we went to the mall food court. Most of the writings are rather mundane and here's a fun one from high school, "Dear God, Today I went to the mall with Grace, Jennifer, and Yolanda. We had a lot of fun. We saw some cute boys. We did not talk to them. Do you think I will ever get a boyfriend?" And in my own defense, there are some other entries about wanting straight A's and where I will go for college. Oh and yes, I wrote to God instead of a "diary." I felt like that was better than an inanimate object and despite not being religious, I was always spiritual, and I wanted Him (if He existed) to know what was going on in my life. Regardless of how pointless my diaries used to be, it is amusing to refresh myself on the hardships of life back then As I grew older, the diary turned into man hating journals where I would write about relationships and often look back and laugh at how hopelessly "in love" I thought I was with every guy who broke my heart. I joined xanga in 2002 and ever since, have been a part of the world wide web and that is where my first internet footprint started.

My old diaries and man hating journals are stashed away at my parents' house somewhere, my xanga no longer exists, my blog has now merged in with Andy's as our family blog and I still have my own public blog and I journal via a private blog (today I did this... and this... and then this... kind of blog, it's not interesting but it's for me). But today was the first time I stopped and thought about what all my blogging would do for my future posterity. How weird to be in a generation where one can google friends and find what is out there, be it blog entries about their birth, naked photos of them, or embarrassing stories? I kind of feel sorry for my kids. They will have no way to stop me until it's too late.. but should I be more careful about the internet footprints I'm leaving for my children? Or maybe I should go private? Thoughts?

Time Flies Like an Arrow, Fruit Flies Like a Banana

2011-09-13T22:07:00.000-07:00

I do this thing where I will say to myself.. a week ago, we were here. Big events, fun events, memorable events.... I'm not sure why, but I've been doing it ever since I was a kid.

So naturally, I began thinking just a week ago... we were getting ready for Harry Potter world tomorrow!

The last week was indeed a whirlwind of family fun time, relaxation in beautiful Hilton resort pools, wet slathering humidity sometimes interrupted by rainstorms (which left me stomping through the puddles in my Rainbow flip flops which are really gross when the dirt particles float into your shoe and refuse to leave), childlike shrieks from grown adults nearing 30 and above at the onset reality of being face to face with Hogsmeade and Hogwarts castle (that is Harry Potter world in case you did not know), occasional nausea from the 3-D rides ignored by the adrenaline of wanting to ride more rides before the day is over, and a lot of failed but some successful attempts to feed Jordan in the midst of all the chaotic and extreme delight of a week we had. For one week, Andy, Jordan and I joined Andy's family for his mom and dad's 30 year anniversary in beautiful, touristy and severely humid Orlando, Florida (Thank you May and Dennis!!)

To begin, we arrived last Thursday at 10 PM east coast time. Refusing to admit our bodies were capable of adjusting to the three hour time change in just a day, we (well mostly our brother in law Jeff, but we followed along) constantly referred to the fact that our California internal time clocks had not rectified itself and we needed more sleep or more food. So after following a pizza delivery truck back to its home base, our aunt and uncle, Jan and Ike, arrived with two pizzas, lots of water and diet coke for us to devour in mere minutes around 12 AM (but remember, that's only 9 PM California time).

The next couple of days were filled with errands and pool time. We began by stocking up at Costco where we briefly entertained the idea of truly putting Costco's return policy to the test with say a purchase of a 60" plasma television, some bikes, surfboards, and high quality SLR cameras; alas our integrity stopped us from ever going farther than putting some boxes of merchandise into our cart and subsequently removing it. Back in our 12 passenger van (I'm sure you were already wondering how we got around), we ventured off to the Hilton resort pools where our Jan and Ike are long time timeshare members, and they have been members for so long that their photos are hanging in the Corporate Hilton Timeshare office (probably helps that they are the token Asian representatives).

Jan with Jordan at Costco

Violet and Sophie eyeing the free samples

Ike with Jordan

Fun in the pool!

Saturday began with an early morning 5k run that Andy's dad, Dennis, had somehow coaxed us into before we arrived in Florida and felt the heat and humidity and as Jeff reminded us, we were getting up at 3:30 AM California time to do a run at 4:30 AM! I finished last with a time of 38 minutes but considered it quite an accomplishment considering I have not run more a quarter of a lap in the last year (and because in seventh grade, I could not even run a mile and took home a C in PE which got me in big trouble with my mom as I cried about how unfair it was because I was just not physically capable of running a mile! Take that Mr. DiGiacamo you big calved monster of a teacher). But mind you, my prideful self kept thinking, I am totally going to beat Jeff, this is great! (because I never saw him run pass me.... failure was met when I crossed the finish line, only to see everyone watching me, the last place among the family) Following the run, we loaded up on free protein shakes and snacks at the finish line, watched our niece Sophie and Aunt Jan do a kid run and stayed in anticipation of what Andy would receive for taking 1st in his age group (it was a bit anticlimactic, just a string drawn bag).

Saturday afternoon was filled with BYU football's first game of the year. I watched as Andy, his dad and his brother in law focused in on the non-HD television (a bit of a bummer, but nevertheless having the channel itself made us quite grateful), clenching their fists, biting their nails, repositioning themselves on the floor and couches, pacing the room, and yelling as if the players could hear them. To say they are fans is an understatement. It was a great game against Ole Miss and Jordan woke up just in time to make his debut in his BYU football jersey as the winning touchdown was made (he may have been the lucky charm BYU was waiting for).

We made our way to the local LDS Church on Sunday morning where I spent most of Sacrament in the maternity lounge. It always amazes me how the organization of the Church is the same yet different, everywhere we go. I quickly noticed we were the only Asians in the congregation yet the testimonies invited the same Spirit despite how obvious it was that we were in the South. That afternoon, we ventured around Orlando in matching white tops and blue jeans for family photos and Jordan got his first pair of jeans!

(no photos as they will be revealed later, but here's a cute one of the cousins trying to hang out with immobile Jordan)

Monday, we went to look for gators and boy was it scorching. I got quit dark from the thirty minute unsuccessful boat ride due to the heat and timing of our visit coinciding with hunting season.

I don't like getting dark and this is the only hat I brought... I KNOW it does not match.

A gator eating Jordan's head! Ahhh!

Funny how I meant to blog about our time at Universal Studios and Harry Potter world but I am now too tired to continue.. so as cliche as it sounds, sometimes pictures speak louder than words. HAHA.

Jordan managed to sleep while waiting in line and ps Universal Studio's "child swap" system is really nice and easy, similar to Disneyland's "stroller passes," except you get to wait inside the ride while the first group goes and take not just one, but multiple people back to re-ride the second time around!

End of Day 1 Universal Studios... Day 2 = Harry Potter world (and other unimportant stuff)

Butterbeer is so delicious.

We forgot to bring Jordan a hat so the washcloth worked for a bit....yes, that's a moving poster of Sirius Black!

Hogwarts!

A Gryffindor closet!

The Greenroom (forgot to get a photo of the mandrakes)

going into the Castle for the SECOND time around (beat the lines at 9 AM the first time)

saw the Pensieve the second time around!

HoneyDukes from Harry Potter, so many sweets!

I love the employees' outfits!

Beautiful!

Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes Joke Shop!

Hedwig... I was so tempted to bring him home for Jordan.

Hogwarts Express!

What Would You Have Done?

2011-09-12T09:26:00.000-07:00

Jordan's sleeping schedule has been rather erratic for the last two nights in Salt Lake (we're here for two weeks for one of Andy's rotations at the University of Utah or the "U") with two feedings in the middle of the night. Though it seems normal, I much prefer when I get to make the call that it's time to eat. The bags under my eyes have not quite resurfaced, but I often struggle to stay awake during the day, hoping for a bit of shut eye here and there to catch up. And I wonder, how did I wake up every 2-3 hours when he was first born? Who knows.

So last night when Jordan woke up at 3 AM for his second feeding (the first was at 12 AM), I wondered if maybe he was crying because his diaper was uncomfortably wet. I took initiative to change his diaper (I normally wait until the AM and he usually has a very heavy wet diaper that has been on all night) because I wanted to be a good, nurturing mother who was well aware of her son's needs. Within two seconds of unwrapping his diaper, my groggy attempt to go above and beyond was thwarted with the swish of his pee which not only attacked me but our bedsheets (in the absence of a diaper changing station, I lay a towel on the bed to change him).

I had a few options at this point:

a) wake up husband and change sheets

b) use a wet nap to minimize the damage

c) murmur at self for stupid plan of action that led self to current predicament

d) go back to sleep and pretend nothing happened

e) all but A

I chose e) and I again went above and beyond by obtaining an unused pillow and laying it over the soiled area, creating a safe cushioned haven to return to sleep on. Hey, if there's one thing I've learned about parenthood, it's improvisation. And sleeping on pee. At least it wasn't poop right? Though I'm not sure if that would have changed the outcome much.

If Only I'd Taken a Photo

2011-09-10T20:29:00.000-07:00

I like observing people at the airport. So while at the airport Thursday, I did a lot of people watching while Andy and I waited for an hour long layover in the Denver airport.

I had made fun of Andy earlier for wearing his running shoes as his regular patent Nikes were still drying from the downpour in Orlando on Wednesday afternoon but little did we know, his completed outfit - a baby blue polo, plaid khaki based shorts and running shoes (I thought it looked a bit funny) would replicate itself in the form of an older gentleman at the airport. Andy didn't notice him until I pointed him out, and as we walked away, Andy said, "Dang, I am getting old... at least I didn't have a gut like that guy." But who knows what time will bring?

If only I'd taken a photo. It was quite spectacular. And a little horrific. And a bit of a blow to Andy who probably thought he was young, hip and trendy.

Traveling With Child

2011-09-09T07:23:00.000-07:00

I always wonder to myself what is worse when traveling in a plane... the crying baby, obesity, or static cling. Having the ability to selectively sleep through anything, the crying baby has never been an issue for me. Instead, I have thought the same thing every person thinks before they become parents ... my kids won't be like that to which I now can safely retort, JUST YOU WAIT! As for the obesity, it's one of those glaring issues that nobody wants to confront in case feelings are hurt, but everyone secretly crosses their fingers that what little room they already have on the plane is not taken by a larger stranger. And as for static cling, men are oblivious to it (or Andy was and is) and it creeps on you and then sticks up out of nowhere (literally).

I found myself pondering on all three as we flew with Jordan for the first time ever. I had done some premature research by glimpsing at some friends' blogs, skimming over some internet suggestions, and even spoken with some more seasoned traveling parents. Looking back, we missed some pretty obvious things.

I knew we were allowed to gate check a car seat and stroller - I did not know where exactly the "gate" was that we were to do so - neither did Andy as he carried the car seat up the plane's staircase. I know now - you get your tags for both at the gate and then leave it outside of the plane entrance - if there's a tunnel, you take it into the tunnel, if you board the plane by walking up stairs, you leave it at the base of the stairs. I felt beyond novice as I advised all the flight attendants that this was my child's first flight ever, hoping that tid bit of information would justify our ignorance.

I knew Jordan could fly free on one of our laps until he was 2 - I did not know I should bring documentation of such in the form of a birth certificate. I have since scoured the FAA website (it's not a friendly one) for exact regulations because one of the Southwest representatives told me the FAA fine is $10,000 if I do not have adequate documentation on a flight. I'm not sure whether to believe her since I can't easily navigate the FAA.gov website but I quickly obtained a copy of his immunization records from his pediatrician via fax (love technology at times like this) which suffice as evidence of his birth date for now. Being that the birth certificate does not have a photo of him, it seems like a rather useless regulation that can easily be manipulated but that's just the auditor in me thinking outloud.

I knew feeding him during take-off would help reduce the change in air pressure by distracting him - I did not know the sights all around him at 4 months would make it hard for him to focus or that the tiny seats make it hard to feed (if the elbow rest is on the right, it's hard to feed him on the left and vice versa and I always had one elbow rest up since Andy and I had two seats between us).

A full flight makes for very difficult feeding, especially since larger passengers tended to pick the empty seat next to Andy (maybe because he doesn't take up much space so there's room for them to overfill and because we have a baby in our aisle, so it's a mutual agreement that neither will be too irritated?.. not sure but we are 2 for 2) but it's smart to ask ahead of time, say while you're boarding to the ticket attendant or the flight attendant who greets you as you enter the plane.

One thing that never crossed my mind in preparing for Jordan's first flight was the possibility of a diaper change. I figured he has slept through 9 hours in a diaper, so what was 3.5 hours? He figured he'd poop while in the plane, not once or twice, but three times would do just fine. What I have since learned is there are usually diaper changing tables in front of the plane but lucky for me, we had our own pad and room on the flight he chose to poop multiple times. We went into super speed diaper changing mode but the airplane air mystified him as he marked his territory on the empty seat between us which we quickly cleaned with a wipe and hand sanitizer (but makes you think twice about how clean airplane seats are, eh?). Note - make sure your husband does not laugh and happily exclaim to your baby, "Marked your territory eh son?!" outloud on the plane for nearby passengers to hear. An announcement is not necessary and this is unlike the announcement that it is his first flight to score some empathy points.

As for the crying, it's inevitable - it will happen even if for a bit and I felt quite prepared as I planned for the worst and hoped for the best. I thought Jordan did quite well as he was easily calmed if we held him close and whispered his favorite song into his ear - The Wheels on the Bus go round and round.... round and round. I'm not sure why that's his favorite, but he absolutely loves it. Works every time! The other thing you can hope for (which I didn't but I may going forward now) is that someone else's child is worse than your own so yours will always seem great in comparison. We had a couple screamers on the flights that Jordan was not too happy on, but everyone near us seemed amused by his short spouts of crying while many concocted their faces into big goofy smiles in an attempt to get a smile out of him. Thus far, Jordan does not like to smile for strangers (except at Church). Stranger danger!

But all in all, traveling with Jordan was really not as bad as I anticipated. And, as I sat there yesterday with him asleep in my arms, a bit nauseous (you can't take Dramamine when you're nursing), munching on the in flight peanuts, lost in my gaze at his adorable sleeping face, I couldn't help but wonder, Is he enjoying this flight? He looks so peaceful and so--dang it, this freaking static is SO ANNOYING I wonder if Andy - nope, no static on that short hair. UGH!!!!!!!!!! Where's my hair tie? UGH!!!!

So there you have it. Static cling wins as the worst.

Yet Another Post-Partum Thing

2011-09-05T20:51:00.000-07:00

With the unwelcome return of something in our restroom lately, it's become increasingly more evident that there is a distinct difference between male and female in our household. No, it's not that time of the month.

For the brief time that it disappeared, I remember the pure joy the absence of it brought me as I glanced around my restroom, noticing the clean floors, counter top, and shower. Noticing my clean towel on the sink after I used the blow drier. Free. Fresh. Clean. Clear. Not covered by it. Not mauled by it. Not contaminated by it. Such is my bathroom when my hair is not constantly falling out.

Apparently, one of the hormonal side effects of being pregnant is that your hair stops falling out. So while pregnant, for the first time in my existence, my hair stopped falling out when I washed it. If you are a male who grew up without sisters, the reality of how much hair a female can shed escapes you. Much like if you are a female growing up without brothers, the reality of how upfront males are about number two in the restroom also escapes you. The reality quickly disintegrated into a memory after getting pregnant, and though I knew it would come back a few months post partum, I secretly hoped I would be the exception. Unfortunately, I was and am not.

Sadly, the hair loss has returned only this time it has multiplied to make up for the lack of hair loss for thirty eight weeks. To prevent it from getting everywhere or from destroying our drains, I usually try to collect my hair and throw it away. On rare occasions, I loop it together and leave it on the shower walls, always intending to throw it away but sometimes forgetting. Well, this morning... my forgetful hair loss stayed on the bathroom walls as our brother-in-law, Jeff, went into our bathroom (we're all in one house on vacation) to retrieve the shampoo and conditioner for Andy's sister, Tammy and with that, my little secret was leaked.

Welcome to post-partum. It's just oodles of fun.

Are We Bad Parents?

2011-08-31T15:44:00.000-07:00

When my high school friend heard I took Jordan, who just turned four months yesterday, to Disneyland, he told me not to spoil him which quite honestly, baffled me because ummm... yeah.... no. In fact, the poor child was so captivated by Disneyland's lights, sounds, smells, structures, rides, and people everywhere that he was unable to concentrate while eating all day (he wanted to see everything around him!) and refused to sleep all day (he did take a few short naps).

All day long, I didn't know if I should laugh or cry because he looked so cute as he fought to stay awake, slowly blinking and focusing on everything in front of him. He was absolutely captivated by the different art pieces on the wall and huge mirror behind our seat at Club 33 (for a detailed look inside the VIP private hidden secret of Disneyland, read my friend Paige's blog post), stupefied by the whirling lights, shooting lasers and blinking targets on Buzz Lightyear, mesmerized by Daddy and Mommy both pulling their slingshots for the Toy Story ride/game and enthralled with Ariel, Flounder, Scuttle, Sebastian and even Ursula in the Little Mermaid ride. As good parents, we might have thought it was time to leave after dinner, but we, along with our friends, the Camerons (who had a 5 month old baby Alex) and the Rasmussens, decided early in the AM that our departure would follow the 9 PM showing of the World of Colors, which was well worth it (yes, even at the expense of our very tired babies).

Though Jordan probably can't see color yet (the pupils develop the ability to discern color around 6 months), the thumping of the music all around us (carousel of color!!! the wonderful world of colorrrrrrrr... yeah, song's still in my head two days later) was enough that even in the dark as I tried to feed him on the floor, he was not having it and wanted in on the excitement. So he rode on his Daddy's shoulders (Andy supported him since he is not strong enough to sit up on his own yet), clinging onto Andy's ear and hair, and his eyes seemed to grow larger with each splash of water and flashing image and color. But the moment Andy got tired and I took over, his eyes blinked slowly and Andy told me to turn him away from the show and in that millisecond, he was out. Poor thing had been so tired. Unfortunately, his parents who had seen the show a year ago when he was still cooking inside my womb, knew how amazingly awesome it was and convinced everyone to stay for it!

The very next day, Jordan turned 4 months old!

His current statistics (as of last week) are:

Head: 75% 23 cm (I think....)

Weight: 75% 15 lbs and 13 oz

Height: 90% 26 inches

It's amazing to me that just four months ago, my baby was just a pooping, peeing, burping, spitting, sleeping machine with occasional glimpses of a smile. These days, his poops are less frequent, he only pees on me once every 3-4 days, he has fake cries and real cries, is trying so hard to roll over (he rolled from tummy to back fives times in a row one morning and I guess decided he was over it... has only happened once since then) from his stomach to back and back to front and gets frustrated when he gets stuck on his side, and will coo and try to talk, smiles so much when he's in a good mood, and is just so intent on observing everything around him.

I love him to pieces and I can't believe when we last went to Disneyland with our Voluntears passes around Halloween last year, he was still swimming around inside of my stomach - and making me sick btw, all we did was watch shows and I felt like fainting many times - ugh, at least the experience did not make me dread dole whips. We got our fix of dole whips and raved about it while the Camerons did the same with corn dogs and Jeff with his popcorn. I guess we all have separate preferences but one thing we had in common - we had a blast at Disneyland!

p.s. This is what you get when you ask a stranger to take your photograph - the castle is cut off! Booo!!!

p.p.s. At the end of the night, the babies were OUT and some daddies.

The "Can't Sleep" Syndrome of Going to Disneyland!

2011-08-28T23:39:00.000-07:00

I'm not a die hard Disneyland fan (mostly because we can't afford it and I'm lazy even though I know it's less than an hour away without traffic!) but just like when I was a kid, I cannot go to sleep the night before a trip to Disneyland because I am so dang excited. If I were to retreat to bed right now, I would just toss and turn, imagining my day tomorrow and still wondering what I am going to wear (it's something I did as a teen and I guess some habits die hard).

I am thinking of all the rides I can go on! I am thinking of all the Mickey Mouse shaped food! I am thinking yo ho yo ho! I am thinking it's a small world! I am thinking I hope I see some pretty princesses (have you ever thought, hmmm they were much better looking when I was a kid). I am thinking of the popcorn popping, ice cream stands, and adorable themed uniforms the workers will greet me in. I am thinking of the smell of vanilla permeating the air as I walk down Main Street (yeah so they pump peppermint during the Christmas season and did you know the doors and windows on Main Street are proportioned to look big so you feel little when you're there?... clever!). I am thinking of the Dole-Whip that Andy introduced me to last time! I am thinking of the basketball court inside the Matterhorn that I won't get to see but the Abominable Snowman that will freak me out (even though I'm a grown woman). I am thinking I should go to sleep now. And most importantly, I am thinking how much better Disneyland will be when you're not nauseous and unable to go on any of the fun rides (when we went with our Voluntears passes I was two months pregnant and NOT a happy camper) and instead introducing the world of happiness that is Disneyland to your almost four month old who won't understand a thing and will be exhausted.

I truly never thought I would be one of those parents who brought their tiny not even speaking or walking yet kid to Disneyland because really, what can he go on and what torture for him, right? Say hello to your stroller babe, you will be in it for most of tomorrow. *sigh. Sad, right? Yet.... now that I'm a parent, I understand life must go on and your kid will just adapt and really, it will make him stronger, less difficult and make parenthood much happier! So, yes - we might not be the best parents but neither are our friends because we're all bringing our babies (four kids less than twelve months) to Disneyland tomorrow! Hey, they are free before 3 years of age and I personally think Jordan will enjoy the change of scenery. He will also be able to boast that he went to Club 33 before he was even 1 year old. Yes, we are going to Club 33, the super elite, VIP, magical and special restaurant inside Disneyland that one must be a member in order to be granted access in. Lucky for me, the Firm I work for has membership and one of the perks of working there is that I can go. Despite having been once for a company kick-off meeting, I'm thinking tomorrow will be much more memorable and fun.

I should go to sleep. Like a kid who's going to Disneyland tomorrow, I can't. And the funny thing is, it's not a figure of speech.

What I Learned Today...

2011-08-27T23:30:00.000-07:00

Today I learned, if I am going to bring something to a picnic for others to partake of, it should be something I enjoy eating in case nobody eats it except for me and I come home with a big bowl of it.

No regrets - I am happily eating my own broccoli salad tonight, tomorrow... basically until it's gone!

I also learned to be very careful with what kind of underwear and work out pants you wear to a cardio kickboxing class held in a studio with large windows where everyone outside can see in because of a thing called melvilles (wedgies to simpletons).

No regrets - the class was well worth it!

Sometimes I'm Hoity Toity Because I Just Am...

2011-08-26T16:57:00.000-07:00

One of the perks of living in Los Angeles is the proximity of the Fashion District downtown. Once a month on the last Friday, the ninth floor of the California Mart (my junior prom was here, it was weird to say the least) becomes the hoity toity haven for cheap baby stuff.

I've been a couple of times and at first, was appalled by what any toddler or infant would need Diesel jeans and moreover by the "discounted" price of tiny t-shirts and onesies with seemingly trendy phrases being sold for $10. That's not a deal. It's a steal (in the bad way)! I might have better luck at the local Goodwill where the spit and milk stains might pass as "cool" if faded on purpose (or so I'd claim).

But as we came across one store in particular, I saw diaper bags for $10-$40. Given diaper bags from Target cost $20, these originally retailed bags of $100 - $300 (think Storksak, Reese Li, Babymel) were indeed a reason to spend some hard earned cash! As I browsed some more, I saw very cute Sunday Best outfits similar to what I might find at Janie and Jack for $10-$15 and other deals at stores that sold to little boutiques in Los Angeles that I had never heard of but were - even I must admit - pretty darn cute. Besides going to Ross, Nordstrom Rack and TJMaxx and going through the mess of clothes that are all well priced or even making a trip to Macy's when they are discounting last season's stuff, this was pretty much the next best thing. I got so excited that I eventually made my way back once with my mum and once with my mother-in-law and plan on going back for more!

And so I wanted to share this bit of insider information (the good kind Martha) because sometimes it's fun to feel hoity toity and know you didn't spend that much for it. Nobody can see the markings of "sample" inside my bag and it's a pretty sweet bag - better than any free Carter's bag you could get from Babies 'R' Us for buying a certain amount of baby stuff (yes, you know the deal, almost everyone got a free bag for spending more than $50).

So if you're in Los Angeles or know someone around, send 'em to the ninth floor of the California Mart on the last Friday of the month for some cheap hoity toity baby stuff. It's well worth a trip.

Leftovers from Pregnancy

2011-08-24T11:33:00.000-07:00

There's this restaurant on Green Street in Old Town Pasadena called "La Luna Negra" which serves tapas and sangria (think alcoholic grape juice soda with bits of fruit in it) and has entertainment like flamenco and bands playing all the time. It's quite a sight to see when you drive by, very festive looking and really grabs at your attention and the food is quite good but it is a bit pricey and if you're tall like my 6'4 lil brother, the height of the chairs and table are quite uncomfortable.

When I learned I was pregnant and the dark line on my belly button that runs from the top of the belly down to the bottom of the belly, is in fact called the linea negra, I could never get the two straight. I often called it the luna negra on my stomach. Yes, a restaurant was on my belly. Apparently, the mark is caused by the hormones in your body (as everything is whilst pregnant) and fades after you give birth some months later.

Understandably so, I did not freak out when the line did not disappear on my stomach immediately after giving birth. In fact, I was so calm about the natural line on my belly, that I failed to realize the rim of dirt that was forming around my belly button.

Recently, on our road trip back from Arizona, I sat in the backseat with Jordan and for some strange reason, got bored and began to look at my belly button, wondering when the luna negra would disappear. This was my first encounter with the rim around my belly button that I immediately thought was just part of the luna negra. But remember I said it's a line? My line was still there but significantly lighter than the circly part of the luna negra that in contrast to the fading line, looked quite distinct and huge. Ugh, I thought. Pregnancy in all its glory and beauty can also be quite disgusting sometimes. Ugh. Ugh again. And then.... I wondered. No... It couldn't be, but..... but what if?

So I started to rub at the rim around my belly button. Shocked and a bit disgusted by myself, I realized it was starting to rub off. I grabbed for a wipe (pretty convenient to have Jordan around at times like these), and began scrubbing the circumference of my belly button with the wipe. Remember picking the Elmer's dried glue off your fingers when you were a kid? This was ten times as fun and yet, part of me cringed at how long I had let my belly button deteriorate to its current state of grimy leftovers.

I don't remember what Andy was doing at this point. He might have been on the phone (I think this is the only time he calls most of his friends... while on a road trip!) or singing to the music playing from Pandora on our bluetooth system (yes, it's quite sweet), but afraid to admit what I was doing that exact moment, I might have started up conversation to distract him. In fact, I 'm quite sure I did exactly that. I did however recall the events for him later but did not have any evidence to show for it (this I did purposely, nobody should ever know exactly how much dirt was on my belly button).

So for all my pregnant friends or soon to be pregnant friends, please beware - the luna negra/linea negra - whatever you want to call it... it is a hormonal stamp of pregnancy in the shape of a line and a line only. There should not be a circle involved. Don't be like me and wait for the line to fade away before you realize the circle of leftovers.

Token Asian Baby

2011-08-23T13:26:00.001-07:00

Despite having grown up in Arcasia, my Asian roots haven't done much for me in terms of mom friends and baby play dates. I think this is due to the fact that most of my Asian friends from back home are still sans baby. According to their timeline of wanting certain accomplishments checked off first, a strong desire to travel more, a suitable income, a required number of years married before starting a family or simply no time, babies have been postponed and as such, I am the first baby momma in my group of Asian friends.

Lucky for me, everyone in my building is having babies and the same goes for everyone in my Church! As a result, I have made random friends with baby's mommas in our apartment complex and from other babies' mommas at Church.

At Church, there is a maternity lounge complete with rocking chairs, a diaper changing station, boppys, a sink, speakers so you can hear what is going on during Sacrament and a mirror to fix your clothes for afterwards. Since Jordan began going to Church after being a month old, we have frequented this maternity lounge often and met so many other mothers and babies while there. It feels good to be part of a special VIP club known as Motherhood, and even more fun to know I'm not the only member in the My Baby Won't Take the Bottle Club.

A few weeks ago, one of my preggers walking buddies, Nicole, who lives up the street from us, decided to have a 2011 Babies Party which we co-hosted! We overestimated the amount of games a mom of babies all less than seven months could accomplish but still had a great time meeting other babies and mommies, munching on an assortment of potluck-ed lunch and conversing about our babies. It was reassuring to talk about each baby's milestones, realizing that all babies cry, all babies have some serious blowouts, and a lot of babies hate the bottle. It was also entertaining to watch the other babies, the little ones who cried like Jordan used to, the big ones who could roll over, and all the babies spit up and drool just like Jordan does from time to time.

It made me think about all the for profit baby play date groups and how lucky I am to have a group of women to turn to for questions and company from both Church and where we live at no cost. I feel grateful for both tender mercies from the Lord and I am looking forward to more moments of Jordan being the token Asian baby.

Already Thinking About Leaving California

2011-08-22T10:41:00.000-07:00

I keep a pretty close track of our net worth through Mint.com and I'm dreading the day the medical school loans hit and our net worth plummets into the negatives. On the bright side, I'm also looking forward to a potential residency somewhere where gas and groceries (our two largest monthly expenses) are not so expensive! Then again, the fruit in California by far surpasses the lack of variety elsewhere. Of course, the heat in the summertime here is also quite difficult and a trip to the beach is just too time consuming. Although, there is the option of the beach here.

As you can see, I vacillate periodically about our soon to be (guess it depends where we match right?) departure from California. I have started to slowly accumulate a list of the pros and cons of living in Southern California, and I'm hoping to maximize on the pros before we leave. Those would include, but are not limited to, seeing my parents and nearby family often (it's funny how my cousins all live nearby but we probably only get together for big holidays or events), eating lots of authentic and cheap Chinese, Korean and Thai food with a dabble of Japanese when my mom takes me (Andy isn't a huge fan of Japanese), loading up on Thrifty ice cream every week it's 2 for $5, getting boba and shaved ice from time to time, going to Hollywood Bowl before we leave, visiting the downtown LA fabric district some more for fabric and trim (for those craft projects I will one day get to), and maybe a trip to Disneyland.

My list isn't that extensive because in thinking it over, there's not much about So Cal that I'm really attached to besides my roots in Arcasia and the food here. Although I like shopping at the Grove and the Americana, I can live without both and in the limited time I've been away from home (think college, living on the westside and my short stint in San Jose), the local grocery stores and shopping malls are usually the first things I become acquainted with. Not because I am that crazy of a shopper, but because I like knowing where things are ahead of time. In case you didn't get the memo, I'm sort of a planner.

I also find comfort in the fact that my parents will probably never leave LA, so we will always be coming back. I know we're not leaving yet, but in many ways, I'm already thinking about leaving California and what it entails because we're going to be going out of town for a few weeks to Orlando for vacation and then Salt Lake City for a rotation Andy has with the University of Utah. That's a long time away from our lil LA apartment that has become home and it's going to be a sort of test drive for me while I'm there. When Andy's cousins were here, they kept exclaiming, "We don't have that in Utah!" and the more they commented on little things like the Chinese sausages and Yan Yans on sale at our local Costco to the nearby Chipotle and all the fro yo places, I started to fear the unknown and already began missing So Cal.

Much is the case with life. We often take for granted what we have, always thinking about what we don't have. Today, I'm going to stop thinking about leaving California and what I have to gain, and enjoy the things of California that are at my disposal now. I'm thinking, a work out at the outdoor mall with an amazing ginormous fountain that mimics the Bellagio's (but not that big), some fro-yo or boba and a visit to my community pool. It's the simple things in life that we tend to overlook and hate on... well, today, I'm not going to hate, I'm going to appreciate.

Have You Ever?

2011-08-18T09:35:00.000-07:00

Farted at the gym thinking nobody would hear since you couldn't hear it, only to realize you were the only one in the vicinity to be wearing headphones?

Wondered if your head is misshaped because every time you use your new iPhone, you hang up or merge calls without trying to just by the leaning of your head onto the touchscreen?

Really hated the trending fashions and thought about how you might be "that girl with the 80's hairdo" only substitute 80's with 2000's?!

Gone a few days without washing your hair, only to realize the oil helps you style it better?

Subsequently discovered that baby powder when rubbed into your oily hair can cover the shine and smell?

Looked through photos but only looked at yourself, and ashamed of your own narcissism, but unwilling to stop, felt bad about it?

Thought about having another kid right away after the first so your kids could have birthdays near each other?

Gone through every single outfit in your wardrobe only to realize nothing looks good and you've created a pile of junk so you throw it into the laundry basket instead of refolding it?

Yeah, me neither. Just saying.

Part of Your World

2011-08-17T09:53:00.001-07:00

Who didn't want to be a mermaid when they saw the Disney version of The Little Mermaid? (cuz Hans Christensen's version is a bit sad...) I know I did - and I even looked up what "reprimanded" meant in the dictionary, thank you Disney, for enhancing my vernacular prowess at only seven years old!

So, when I came across this blog post from Shawnie on 71 Toes, I couldn't help but post (even though this is my second post in one day!). Check out photos at her blogpost - I'm sure it's something you could make, but I am not that crafty nor do I have that much time ... maybe my sister-in-law will make it if we don't win it... what do you think Tammy?

I get an extra entry if I post about it. Hey, did you ever enter a contest for your "niece" and really want to keep it for yourself if you won? Yeah, me neither.. duh, it's for my niece if I win. Here's hoping I win!!!

Inflatable Fun House

2011-08-17T09:16:00.000-07:00

Remember those bouncy houses at birthday parties, in parks, at fairs, company picnics, grad night at the high school, elaborate house parties in the Dena or college reunions?

I always thought they would be too expensive for my kid but I found one that is currently free and Jordan is loving it.

It's my stomach and everything surrounding it, leftover from birth and still hanging out until I start taking my work outs more seriously. And it is an inflatable fun house. He steps on it and just loves the squishiness of the stomach, the undulating waves it creates of air that boost him up and down. The table is not as fun. Daddy's stomach is not as fun. Even the diaper changing pad is not as fun.

Nothing beats your own inflatable fun house. Just ask Jordan.

Report Card Time

2011-08-16T12:54:00.000-07:00

I've come to realize this motherhood and housekeeper thing (the two are distinctively different!) can be very defeating at times. And that's why I need to motivate myself with a report card (yes I was a goodie two shoe with straight A's until high school... those occasional B's really humbled me)!

When it comes to motherhood, I have for the most part, felt pretty good about it. I know I can't communicate with Jordan yet but he usually smiles if I gawk at him and usually is quite happy when I sing, read, or make funny faces at him. He seems to recognize my voice and I am the source of all food thus far... so no complaints right? Wrong...! It's when he has a rare occurrence of - I'm not happy no matter what you do - that really throws me off. When he's smiling one moment and projectile vomiting the next, leaving me without a towel or idea of how to clean it up with the least amount of potential damage. Or when he's not hungry but doesn't want to play and is still crying (we think teething but that could just be our excuse for not knowing how to appease him!) and he doesn't want to be put down either! Oh boy. The normal thoughts that occur at this point are ... what have I gotten myself into and how will I make it with more than one child?! and of course is it normal to still be in my jammies at 10 AM without brushing my teeth or putting on my contacts yet? interrupted by man am I hungry.. if only I could sneak away and get a bite to eat! If I gave myself a report card for motherhood, it would have a lot of suggestions for improvement but I would tell myself that staying positive is half the battle which I've managed to do so far by finding the joy and humor in everything, even the poop and the puke (I think I prefer poop.. the smell goes away after being wiped, as for the puke... it kinda lingers.... do you have to, do you have to let it linger.....Cranberries anyone?)

When it comes to housekeeping, I feel pretty good about it IF - OPERATIVE WORD - IF I have time but the whole motherhood thing really puts a kink in my routine for housekeeping. I'm normally loads behind (pun?) in laundry washing and folding (someone really needs to invent a machine that does that for you already and go on Shark Tank!), my sink never has room to refill my Brita and when I do attempt to clear it, I find myself stepping in my own self created puddles of dirty dishwater that has somehow managed to find its way to the floor, our living room is already overflowing with toys (I know he's a baby, but yes, he already has toys!), not to mention the pile of junk mail I have to sort through to find the real mail (if I get another credit card invitation because I've been pre-approved yet again.... ugh) that is a constant centerpiece on our dining table and the bathrooms that are still not getting their normal bi-weekly clean-up! If I gave myself a report card for housekeeping, it would say .... "prioritize and definitely needs improvement!"

Maybe I'm too harsh on myself (and maybe I'm fishing for some compliments while I'm at it...), but this whole self imposed report card consideration has got me thinking more and more that I should in fact give myself a periodic review. I got one in the workplace (which btw, is so much easier than this motherhood and housekeeping thing, hands down without a doubt!) and I was able to find ways to improve and was rewarded for it through both positive affirmation from co-workers and superiors as well as compensation, so why shouldn't I give myself one now that this is my full time job? Just because I chose to be a mother, doesn't mean I'm not held to any standard and should be working towards being more efficient and effective (key phrases from the work world). So I decided to do that. And I also decided to give myself a little reward if I do well and do find myself getting better at accomplishing what seems like way too much in way too little time.

I know Jordan sometimes spontaneously vomits... what can I do to ensure the victims (him, me, the couches, the carpet, anything in his path at the time of vomit) are safe? The answer... more towels! Towels here, towels there, towels everywhere! I know Jordan only sleeps for an hour to two for naptime durign the day, so how can I maximize these spurts of time and finish my housekeeping chores? Good-bye Facebook, good-bye Pinterest, that will do, good-bye to you! With the time I waste on you, I could be doing so much more - it's true!

Alas, report card in my life to stay. Report card in my life today.

Report card time!

You Know You're Old When...

2011-08-12T11:37:00.000-07:00

Our cousins (Kristy and Kylie, ages 13 and 17) have never seen or even heard of Clueless. To add insult to injury, after I popped in the DVD to have 'em watch it so I could enjoy it in the background while I'm online, the first commentary I heard was "That's such an ugly outfit!" I had to immediately turn around and advise 'em that everyone (including myself) had one of those plaid skirts and knee-highs with Mary Jane's. Whatever... as if, I'm totally like old now, totally buggin'.

We Ain't Getting Any Younger

2011-08-10T09:02:00.000-07:00

Meet Kristy and Kylie, our cousins from Andy's side of the family, ages 17 and 13, respectively. Kristy and Kylie love shopping, playing with Jordan, cooking and cleaning (for a reward of fro-yo, who wouldn't?!) and whatever else their sweet cousins (mostly me) suggest.

At first I was intimidated as I was unsure how we would pass the time with two teenagers for ten days, and even more frightened by the fact that we would pale in comparison to the awesome time they had at Tammy's last summer as that trip included lots of restaurants, theme parks, touristy fun stuff and two little girls to nanny. But once they were here, my fears quickly subsided as I elated with joy in the upside of having help and company around and so far, I think (think being the operative word) they are having a good time as well. It actually reminds me of why I want a big family - it's so much more fun with more people around although, I think I'm going to be a bossy mom... haha. I mean, I TRY not to be bossy, but I definitely am not shy about suggesting how we should approach certain things, about asking for help and about waking them up to get the day started (the first couple of days they were here and we got ready for bed at 10 PM, they asked what they were supposed to do now because they usually sleep at 1 AM, 2 AM or 3 AM - but lately, they've been exhausted and turning in at 10 PM, 11 PM and 12 AM- not 1 2 or 3 AM!)

The girls are easily amused with shopping trips and they laugh at almost everything Andy and I say (we're not that funny though.. really...), making us feel quite good about ourselves. We've spent a lot of good quality time teaching them how to play new board games (Settlers of Catan and Ticket to Ride European version), wasting time on the WII with Super Mario Bros. and comparing our brain capacities with Big Brain Academy, going through Preach My Gospel together for family scripture study, watching movies, swimming in our complex, going on adventures (Korean BBQ, Venice Canals, Manhattan Beach), shopping, eating, and just hanging out. Along the way, it is more and more evident that Andy and I are not getting any younger.

The first indication: In the car, we were educated on the various types of cars one can spot while driving, call out, and punch the other. I only knew of punch buggie, out of state and personalized license plates, but there is a litany of things to call out now. We were advised so matter of factly that all we could do was laugh in response, not even processing what they said but laughing at how ridiculous the game had morphed for this new generation.

The second indication: Sunday afternoon, we were enjoying food with some friends at a Church Break the Fast (we fast once a month and a nice family from Church puts on a huge potluck after the day of fasting - loads of fun and tons of good grub) and exchanging advice on babies with some of the other families who are with child or expecting. As we talked about how tiring it gets to wake up and feed your baby multiple times throughout the night, I mentioned how I had moved the diaper changing pad into my bedroom for an easier walk late at night (Jordan still sleeps in the pack n play in our room for now). Kristy laughed and called me lazy, but quickly rescinded the comment and explained that she could relate since she had a mechanical baby before. . ...

...

Seriously?!

...

Yes, I said mechanical baby. Remember egg babies? Well, the year of sixth graders above us started to fry their eggs on school property so when I got to sixth grade, we had orange babies. We treated those oranges like our babies until school was out, then left them in a corner until school the next day (except BFF and I took our assignments pretty seriously, when we went to taekwondo class, we advised Master that we had to leave our orange babies at the front of class or it would be neglect and he laughed and said ok... sure we were silly little kids asking if we could put our oranges, safely nestled in the carriers we had created up by the mirrors in the studio). Well apparently, eggs or oranges are not an option anymore, now - they have mechanical babies!

These mechanical babies, as Kristy so kindly informed us, did not interrupt you during the day, but immediately after school, within 15 minutes, the mechanical baby was programmed to wake up, cry if not fed or changed, and required constant supervision. This included night time feedings and all the fatigue that comes with having a baby. I can appreciate technology discouraging teen pregnancy this way but I'm quite glad we didn't have that growing up.

The third indication: We write letters on Sundays and accordingly, Kristy and Kylie joined us. I jokingly asked if they knew how to address an envelope to which Kristy replied "not really... no, why would we need to? We have phones and facebook." Kylie, on the other hand, thought really carefully and hard before answering in "the to address goes in the middle and the return address is in the upper left corner?" I poked fun of her, asking her if she had learned that at school. She said yes and I asked if it was in History class and she told me it was in English class. I guess she didn't get the joke. Later, while I was feeding Jordan, I asked Kristy to please put the stamps on the letters to mail out and she asked me if the stamps went in the upper right corner before she did so.

Those are the first that come to mind, but the reality is we're not getting younger, but how could we be when our tiny tiny baby is now a big big baby?

At only three months, he is in the 90% for weight and height at 14 lbs 5 oz and 25 1/4" and a little more behind in head size with 75% at 42 cm.

It's amazing how quickly he's learning more with each day. He now sleeps from 10 PM - 7 AM (though I sometimes wake him up to feed at 6 AM), still won't take the bottle, loves tummy time, has better head control, grabs a lot more (of clothes and hair - lots of Kristy and Kylie hair, but still won't go after toys or the teething giraffe), is drooling a lot, learned to suck on his entire fist, likes to lick his seatbelts, prefers being held, will have spurts of talking in coos, is fascinated with green trees, smiles a lot more, and is fitting into his clothes from 6, 9 and even 12 months! Ah!!! Big baby!!

his blessing outfit that Nama made.... doesn't button in the back anymore!

but still fits nicely otherwise, and looks good in photos (his feet didn't fit the matching booties since he was a month old so I didn't bother at three months...sad)

Everything Is Cuter!

2011-08-09T00:48:00.001-07:00

Lately, I've noticed Andy and I both tend to shorten, double up or rhyme our words with Jordan. It seems we think doing so makes us more baby appropriate.

Case in point: Let's go change your "diap-diap!"

Another example: You're just the "cutest-wutest!"

And another: Do you want to "eat-eat" now?

If you haven't had a baby yet, just you wait - I swear it's more natural when you're the parent just like it's more obnoxious when you're not.

At Long Last!

2011-08-03T22:07:00.000-07:00

My mom loves re-telling the story about my obsession with "aye-shui" when I was still learning how to talk. I would alway beg for "aye-shui" which was confused as water since "shui" (think feng-shui) but when water was brought to me, I would continue to cry and ask for "aye-shui." Finally, upon taking me to the land of pink dots, pink spoons and 31 fantastic flavors to choose from, I exclaimed with joy and said "aye-shui!" That was when they got my muddled disoriented demands as ice cream.

I've never had a favorite ice cream flavor. There are just too many that I love. Among my favorites are rainbow sherbert (cuz it's rainbow, do I need to say more?), bubble gum (because there's bubble gum in it and only select places would sell it, but it's kinda gross now that I think about it), cookies n cream, cheesecake, black cherry and mint n chip, BUT... yes, there's a but, BUT I would only eat mint n chip if it was from Thrifty because everywhere else had chips that were too big and distracted me from the ice cream itself.

I thought I had a new favorite ice cream flavor last year... a discovery of pineapple and coconut together in one fantastic swirl of wonderfulness, also from Thrifty. But just recently, Andy and I discovered my NEW and NOW favorite ice cream flavor.

Get ready for it. It's legend... are you lactose intolerant? ... dairy!!!

Lemonhead! Oh my my.. how do I even begin to describe it? It's a bit tart but not too much, a bit creamy but not too much.. a mix between sorbet and ice cream with pixie dust lemonhead pieces.. oh, just magical I tell you!

Lucky me that my husband loves ice cream every bit as much as I do because Rite-Aid (the only place I know that sells Thrifty but who knows... wonder if the El Monte Thrifty factory has tours...) has 2 1.75qts for $5 or 2 for $6 (I know, I often wonder how many I should get when they are 2 for $5) and last week, after we finished our first ever Lemonhead ice cream, we kept dwelling on how wonderful it was, hoping for more, as we lacklusterly got through the rest of Black Cherry. So this weekend, Andy came home with not one.. but two Lemonhead ice creams! Delicious. I seriously think about Lemonhead ice cream at least three times a day, excited for dessert at night! Miam I tell you!

So yours truly finally, at long last, has a favorite ice cream. Lemonhead, I declare you are my favorite ice cream ever!

Disclaimer: Thrifty did not compensate me in any shape, way or form to rave about their ice cream. They are, without a doubt, the best ice cream for the price, and if you buy it in the store (like my parents did for me as the past time for Laundromat days), it comes in a square scoop!

Chicken Soup for the Skin

2011-08-01T23:55:00.001-07:00

My mom pays for me to have a facial once a month and she looks after Jordan while I am getting my face did. I went last week and had to endure half an hour of her and the other Chinese facial lady telling me I was losing the elasticity in my skin, gaining wrinkles faster than I knew, all due to the fact that my son was taking all my nutrients from my milk. Why wasn't I making the black chicken soup concoction my mother had supplied me with (I have four pieces of black chicken in the freezer, waiting to be made into soups to help reduce the appearance of wrinkles on my face) like I was supposed to as a good Chinese daughter?! I held it in. Are you letting yourself go so young? Still I resisted the urge to talk back. Didn't I know in less than a year, I'd be an old hag? The urge to scream, I DON'T BELIEVE YOU BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME TO EAT CERTAIN THINGS SO I WOULD HAVE MILK BUT YOU NEVER DID AND YOU HAD MILK AND ALL THE AUNTS TOLD ME TO AND WERE FASCINATED WHEN I HAD MILK BECAUSE THEY NEVER DID. Patience. Calmness. Tranquility. You can do it Daisy. Just. keep. calm.

It just doesn't make sense to me but it's a sore topic for my mother and me anytime she is giving me advice I don't quite buy.

She called me today (we talk almost once a day but sometimes our conversations are very short because I want to be patient and not get upset at her illogical assertions) and again asked if I was taking seriously the fact that I NEEDED to drink my chicken soup and then offered to buy my facial cleansing products if I had run out ... (her passive aggressive way of assuming I'm not using any when I in fact AM!) *sigh. So for lunch today, I waived a white flag and in my defeat, had soup. And some cheese and Ritz crackers. And a boiled egg with ketchup. But I definitely had the soup.

When Andy came home from work today, I told him, "I had chicken soup for lunch today" and he replied, "It shows, the wrinkles are gone now." Oh how he humors me.

I guess chicken soup is not good for just the soul, but for the skin as well.

Who Am I Kidding?

2011-08-01T06:07:00.000-07:00

I love blogging way too much to stay away and I'm proud to report that my progress from my last post has been less facebook stalking and online time wasting, as a result, I am rewarding myself with a blog post.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the lactation consultant Nazis. If you haven't met them before either because you are sans kid or never went down the road of boob feeding, you are in for a treat! They vary in temperament and style but without a doubt, they all share the common mission objective of getting you to successfully boob feed your baby - no matter what the cost! They drill fears into your brain about nipple confusion and tell you it's painless if you're doing it right. They are liars!!!

To give credit where due, my first lactation consultant in the hospital was candid with the truth. She told me I needed to develop calluses for boob feeding, just like one would do on their fingers if they were learning to play the guitar (if you aren't sure what that means, try it - and then say hello to the pretty calluses you get on your fingertips). I guess it's just like lifting weights and wanting to use gloves (I do.. yes, even with my wimpy 10 pound weights) to avoid having nasty calluses. She advised me that once I got pass the rough part of growing calluses, I'd be okay.

Unfortunately, nobody ever told me about the fact that my baby might not take the bottle. I'd only heard the opposite, not to give my baby the bottle too soon in case he got confused and would only take the bottle. So far, I have not heard of any cases where this is a true story. Instead, there is an underground world of mothers who struggle to get their babies to take the bottle instead of the boob. One of the comments I got from my last post about such struggles was that said person fed her baby in the car over the carseat. Now this may sound ridiculous to you, but if you ever find yourself on a road trip, interrupted by frequent pit stops to feed and change your baby who won't take a bottle, you may also try it.

Guilty as charged. TMI maybe?

Sadly, the carseat got in the way and it only worked for about three minutes (apparently Andy timed it, hoping we could buy more time as we coasted on the highway from Arizona to California). It makes me laugh because that is what we have resorted ourselves to (I completely covered the windows on both sides) and although it is way too much information, I share it because I hope every person reading this who may become a mother in the future... who maybe considers boob feeding... who might not want to be chained to their baby because they are the only source of food.... who might want a break every now and then... who might want someone else to feed their baby once a day.... might realize that a bottle of boob milk a day, fed to your baby with a bottle, might not be such a bad idea, even while they are boob feeding! I wish somebody had told us that before. Maybe we'd be in a different predicament now.

Until then, we will keep praying and working on it.

Also happy to report that our physical therapy wannabe exercises which we learned from youtube (the internet is a wonderful thing if used correctly) have shown improvement in Jordan's neck. He seems to be looking left more often though he still prefers the right. We will keep at it! We are also sincerely asking Heavenly Father for his help everytime we pray. Our prayers are being answered as his cries seem to decrease with each subsequent exercise we do on his neck. Yay to diligently presevering and praying!

And... I thoroughly cleaned the bathrooms and did some laundry before we left for Arizona this past weekend to visit our friends (the Bluthes, yes we just saw them last weekend but we're on a Bluth high) and get Jordan's three month photos taken by our talented most likely will be a super expensive professional photographer in the near future Jenn. Of course when we came back last night, our house reeked of rotten garbage because of the food in the sink that didn't get sinkerator-ed and the few (less than 5!) dirty dishes I left. I quickly cometed, lime juiced and baking soda-ed that sucker but it still slightly stinks of leftover garbage that has been rotting for three days. Yeah, I'm not the best housewife... not yet at least, but I'm working on it and one day, I know, we will come back from vacation and our house won't stink. One day....

Hiatus Until Then...

2011-07-27T22:18:00.000-07:00

The other day I ate moldy bread. I didn't even know until I was about to eat my second (yes second) piece days later, that the light white spots on the wheat bread I ate a few days earlier might have been mold. I actually recall the first time around thinking, hmmm that's a spotty weird thing on my bread, before taking big bites of it to quickly engulf it before I got onto other things. Oh well, at least I didn't eat a second piece of super moldy bread. Maybe I'm just not focusing enough because of other things.

Our son has torticollis which means we have to work at getting him to turn to his left (he prefers the right) and until then, he has an asymmetrical head and very possibly a flat head. I'm not sure what the ramifications are for having a flat head but it doesn't sound great. We are doing exercises with him everyday and if that doesn't work, we'll have to go to physical therapy which is costly and if that doesn't work, he might have to wear one of those soft helmets you see kids wearing who aren't playing contact sports. It's for their head to shape normally. Currently, Jordan's ears are crooked but he still looks absolutely adorable to me.

Our son also won't take the bottle yet. I even tried using a nipple shield so he'd be used to the plasticy taste but the shield was too big and he just gagged on it and cried until I gave him his regular food of choice. We got the Tommy Tippee bottle that everyone raves about - that was the tip that didn't work. Oh well. Not sure if we should try more bottles or just let him starve.

Our house is a mess. There is laundry to be put away, dishes I let sit in the sink until the morning and stuff to be ironed. It feels like there's never enough time in the day to get stuff done when in reality, I just need to manage my time better.

My desire to get back into pre-pregnancy weight has stopped 10 pounds short and absent making time to work out (besides a gym visit in a blue moon and walking around the neighborhood and burning 150 calories after an hour), it is not going to get there. Everytime I get dressed to work out, he gets hungry or wants to play and I have resorted to 25 minute work outs with a DVD and the pause button frequently.

Defeated. Dejected. Depressed. Demotivated.

And then I realized... I just need to take a hiatus from blogging, facebook (except I will be uploading photos and going back to find messages I sent, just no new messages or commenting or liking other peoples' statuses from here on out) and linked in... but blogging is the biggest sacrifice because it's something I love and find therapeutic. I guess it sounds ludicrous to some but for me, it's a huge sacrifice that ends up being quite small and only until I get things in order. Truth be told, taking myself away from it will give me a lot more time that I unintentionally waste every time I find myself at the computer.

I'm hoping this will give me the ability to truly focus on getting Jordan to look left and take the bottle and that the next time I blog it will be to tell you about our successes with Jordan, our fabulous neat and tidy home and my skinny and healthy body. I'm on a hiatus until then...

Must Get Out Of California ASAP!

2011-07-25T12:35:00.000-07:00

I am so outraged by the ballot proposition to ban circumcision in San Francisco, California, that I am eating away my anger with a bag of crunchy cheetos Andy got me from the hospital vending machine and cup o' noodles for lunch.

The arguments I have heard for the circumcision ban include asserting it is "genital mutilation" and that it is dangerous, painful and parents should not "force it upon their children." Right.. like how parents who decide to get an abortion force their children to never enter this world. But wait a minute, proponents for that one also claim a baby is not a baby (tell that to the six week ultrasound that says otherwise to me!) when an abortion is performed (which could be up to three months...). I think it's interesting that the citizens of San Francisco have not only banned happy meal toys (utterly ridiculous, parents need to watch their kids, not put the burden of responsibility on fast food restaurants!) but now they are eager to impose a $1,000 fine and a year in prison for parents who want to circumcise their boys. I've even heard some proponents for the ballot say it is because pediatricians want money (get your facts straight people, the OB gyn is the surgeon who performs it). And lastly, comparing it to females and claiming it is genital mutilation is just ludicrous - tell that to all the grown men who are walking around with their genitals mutilated. Does that mean they can't have kids? HAHA .. clearly insane. I wonder if it's painful for men with their genitals mutilated to produce offspring or if it's even possible. Oh wait - it is. Duh.

I could care less if a child gets circumcised or not, but ultimately, the fact that they want to strip parents the right to decide and tell us that it is cruel and completely purposeless - well that is just a lie.

I really hope we get to leave California for residency... at this rate, the state is going down faster than you can say circumcision.

Oh and Governor Brown just decided gay and lesbian history will be part of US history taught in schools from now on. Last I checked, there was not a chapter in my history book growing up that taught me about sex so why it is part of the curriculum now is beyond me. I also do not recall a chapter on bi-racial marriages so why is this a necessity? Oh right, because California is going downhill. Duh.

A Weekend of Firsts for Jordan

2011-07-24T15:18:00.000-07:00

I owe a little more credit to the fun and memorable times since Jordan has been in our life. The hilarious oh my my, this could only happen with a baby once in a lifetime "firsts" and experiences. Because without them now, life would not be as fulfilling or as satisfying and I would never trade him for anything (not even one million dollars!...imagine that with a pinky on my chin like Dr. Evil)!

Andy and I sometimes point at Jordan and say.. "that's my baby" with so much pride it's probably worth repenting immediately. We get excited about taking him out for firsts like this last Friday when we took him to his first baseball game at Dodger Stadium. As I reviewed everything in my diaper bag before we left - the normal wipes, boob feeding cover, diapers, changing pad, an additional two outfits (in case something should happen to soil his current outfit), plastic bags (to house any soiled messes) and even a bottle (just in case he somehow miraculously decides to take it while out), I could not stop thinking if I had missed anything. I always want to be prepared but sometimes you can't prepare for everything, a lesson I am learning everyday from Jordan. I am going to commit to enjoying the moment more and stop worrying so much (although lesson learned is it does get quite cold at night games, even though it's brutally hot during the day!).

At the game, Jordan was great - slept a bit, and then just sat there, mesmerized by the lights and everything else going on. Our friend Cassy asked to hold him for a bit and within mere seconds of transferring him over to her, a loud gaseous fart sound with a bit of moving liquid was heard and Cassy, Andy and me looked down towards Jordan and saw a blowout all over his cute baseball outfit AND Cassy's hands and pants. In that immediate moment, all I could think was did he really have to blowout on someone else? He was JUST on Andy's lap - ughhhh man, really baby?...... as we profusely apologized to Cassy who was so easygoing about having liquidy poop on her. I'm not sure I would have been as okay about it.. but then again, I never held a baby until Andy, my then boyfriend, plopped his newborn niece into my arms. (Besides that one time, I never held a baby until my own.. so if I can do it.. so can you!)

Saturday did not stop with the firsts for Jordan. It was his first time going away from home for more than 5 hours (including commute time!). That morning, I did not stop with making sure we had everything we needed for an entire day away from home. This meant five additional outfits, a mat, a pack of diapers and an assortment of blankets. Andy was amazed that we needed that many additional outfits but I advised him that Jordan goes through a LOT of clothes in a day from spit-ups to blow-outs to peeing during diaper changes. And sure enough, we went through four outfits throughout the day (and an additional outfit for Andy - we both brought two outfits just in case).

The drive over was about an hour and though Jordan started off by crying a bit, he was quickly distracted by a vibrating birdie (that came all the way from my friend Jen from Michigan!) and soon fell asleep within minutes of hitting the freeway.

We had a blast in Corona (think 909 Inland Empire) with the Bluths (Jen and Bryan) and Jen's extended family. We got there and basically pretended we were part of the family, refusing to leave (luckily they didn't kick us out) from mid-morning until after dinner. We tried our best to help out with the wedding open-house preparations that were going on for one of their close family friends' daughter and enjoyed Jen's amazing and aesthetically pleasing cupcakes (she had glitter and fillings and an assortment to choose from - yes we tried them all!) and I admired the landscaping and logistical set-up and pairing of turquoise, soft pink and the bird theme (bird cages, birds' nests, etc.). It was absolutely breathtaking and even though most of the design was the work of Jen's mom, I secretly thought, Jen is definitely going to help with our kids' weddings because I know she has her mom's same talent!

In between open-house prep, we got a chance to hang out and enjoy the pool. Jordan was all dressed in his water diaper and super cute surf top I got at Baby Gap on major sale (tis the season folks!) and Janie and Jack fisherman's hat (didn't get a photo) but he did not enjoy the water or the sun (he gets it from me) and instead, preferred to sleep on the soft cushioned seat in the shade outside. Inside the house, Jordan became enthralled with the ceiling fans, the older women (little girls ranging in ages 4 to 11) smiling and wanting to play with him and Jen's black and white damask themed bedroom and soft matching bed (babies don't have excellent eye sight so black and white contrasts are very engaging for them). He did tummy time on Jen's bed and even got to play with Bryan's cubs hat and only had one pukey moment and one blow-out - pretty good for his first time away from home!

Once home, Andy and I realized we are indeed getting old. We didn't do much that day except hang out, swim, eat, drink (we don't have much to drink besides Brita water and milk at our house and Jen's parents' home had seven-up, catcus cooler, Fresca, and bottled water), but we were simply exhausted when we got home. I was and am still so tired from Saturday that when I got back from Church today, I took an hour nap (for someone who doesn't normally nap, that's a lot!). I can't believe how tiring it can be to go on outings with your kid. And we only have one who is barely mobile! How does everyone else do it? And am I the only one who thinks that all the time?

Here's hoping our bodies adapt and we aren't so tired because the rest of the summer has even more "firsts" in store including a trip to Orlando Florida (hellooo Harry Potter world) and a camping trip to Big Sur.

It's Official....

2011-07-21T10:20:00.000-07:00

We will begin sending Christmas cards this year. I always told myself I wouldn't send them until I had a family and as much as Andy is family to me, who cares what we are doing? So the first year flew by with no card but now that Jordan is in our life, everyone will care... right? Hahaha...

Well, even if not - too bad. I started off by sending birth announcements to family, friends, co-workers, etc. and it was quite a task! It was like wedding invitations... thank you cards nightmare all over again... only this time when I stuffed the envelopes, I sighed and thought... hehe, that's my son! I'm sure I missed a ton of people, I tried my best but it was just impossible. I can't believe how many people come in and out of our lives throughout the years. I already know I left out a lot of Church buddies (so please don't be offended if you didn't get one), but our Ward is so large with so many awesome couples, it was basically a cost differential that I wasn't willing to invest in until Christmas. I know.. I'm cheap. I prefer frugal.

I still need to obtain all my parents' friends addresses as they often get left out in the more American traditions such as this yet they shower us with gifts, gift certificates and money without fail.

Anyhow, enjoy the baby announcement via the online world of fun and free (postage costs so much!)!

A Good Tool Goes A Long Way

2011-07-20T17:34:00.000-07:00

I ironed for the first time since I have been married two days ago. I actually had to ask Andy how to iron the shirt sleeves. You see folks, I've actually never ironed... with success. Growing up, my mom taught me once, but my shirts never seemed to de-wrinkle themselves and flustered, my mom offered to do it for me. I have never hesitated to let her iron for me and as such, the iron and me are not really well acquainted.

I probably never would have gotten the desire to iron or even upgrade our iron if it hadn't been for some prime examples in my life.

The first is my sister-in-law Tammy and her husband, Jeff. Whenever we visit them up north and stay with them, Sunday mornings are always the same - they are both in and out of the garage where the ironing board resides. And... they actually use the iron! At home, Andy pops his shirts into the dryer and BOOM - they are wrinkle-free! Okay, maybe not completely, but most of the time he wears a suit over his shirts. Other times, the shirt is fine, just not crisp. Meanwhile, yours truly wears wrinkle stuff without shame. A little embarrassing....

Second, when my mother-in-law, May, was staying with us, she not only helped us take care of Jordan, change his diaper in the middle of the night as I fed, cooked, folded laundry and helped with the dishes, she brought out our ironing board and ironed a ton of shirts for both Andy, Jordan and me. Immediately, I was not only grateful but a little ashamed.

Third, when Jeff and Tammy came for Jordan's baby blessing, Jeff used the iron and told us we need to get a new iron. I figured he just had a very high standard for irons being that he does iron on more occasion than myself. Or so I told myself....

Having all these examples, I was already mulling over potentially diving into the act of ironing. But I still hesitated.

Then, one morning while May was still staying with us... before Church, I woke up early to shower and went to iron Jordan's outfit that we had planned earlier for his Sunday best. I slothfully dragged out the iron and thought about taking out the ironing board. Instead, I decided to lay a towel on the floor and iron his outfit there instead. I then went to get ready. As I was feeding Jordan, May was getting ready to dress Jordan. She went to get out the ironing board and began ironing his outfit....the one I had already ironed. At this point I was mortified. She had no clue that I had ironed it already, and by the looks of the outfit, no one else would have either. That is how I knew I was definitely a bad ironer. I secretly told myself I needed to 1) get a new iron and 2) learn how to iron.

So we finally got a new iron and I not only learned how to use it by reading the instructions, filling the water and asking Andy how to operate the steam function (hey, the instructions weren't that easy to follow!) and then....I used it! And I must say, a good tool goes a long way. If I had a good iron to use when I was growing up, I might never have given up and defaulted to my mom ironing for me.

I'm thankful for the examples who slowly - not immediately - got me to change my ironing ways. They planted the seed... and now we will have non-wrinkly shirts - all thanks to them!

Painful But Delightful

2011-07-19T19:48:00.000-07:00

I had my first official post-partum work out yesterday. I say "official" because doing exercise videos at home and walking around the neighborhood was considered a work out until yesterday so I guess those were all poor excuses for getting off my butt but this actual work-out was one that kicked my butt.

Kick seems like an understatement.

I got my butt whipped.

It was a studio group fitness class at Equinox (where the motto is "It's Not Fitness, It's Life") with one of my favorite instructors from two and a half years ago (the last time I was in this gym). She does her entire class with weights and a bosu ball and usually has really fun music and has us up and down all over the ball working our core, our thighs and our arms. It is fabulous!

Or so I remembered....

Yesterday was horrific. I was heaving and hoeing, my heart was racing, my head was pounding, sweat was dripping down my face, and I was unsure if I'd make it through. I felt like hurling many times, and used this as an excuse to walk to the back of the studio to get my camelback and slowly sip some water. I drank so much water that I was even able to sneak out of the studio twice to refill my water bottle. Halfway through the class, I started thinking of excuses I could use to leave the class.

The music was too loud to speak over it so I could gesture something to the instructor, maybe about my ankle or knee or... I could just faint. The aftermath might be too messy to deal with. I could whisper VERY quietly but LOUDLY WITH MY LIPS that I had to go... but it all seemed rude unless I really couldn't make it.. which I very well might not have...

So I stuck it out. For the reps I could do full out, I did, the rest I just breathed and watched others in awe. At one point she had us jumping down to a plank on the bosu ball which was upside down (so you had to balance since the ball side was on the floor), doing a push up, jumping up to a position with a lunge, standing up and then lifting the bosu ball (it is quite heavy!) and doing a press-up into the air - ugh - and she did this in repeat 6 reps first with 4 times, then 2 times and then 1 time. I was DYING.

To make matters worse, I had obtained a 3 lb weight because I knew I was not ready for anything larger than that - the instructor had also obtained a 3 lb weight. But she reminded the class repeatedly that she was using "sissy" weights since she had injured herself over the weekend but hey, that's what she got for being 50 years old and going mountain biking. First off, her body is a ROCK and she looks more like 40. I could not believe it. I wanted to yell, "I just had a baby!" but there was no nonchalant way of doing so. Instead, I sucked it up and tried my best.

Through my eternity of "I'm not ready to work out at a gym suffering" of one hour last night, the abs and cool down felt so satisfying. And once I was done, I was ready to do it again just not today or tomorrow...I need time to heal first. It's true what they say about challenges building character and how rewarding it is to overcome them. I'm definitely far from overcoming my lack of aerobic strength and utter usefulness in the gym but I am ready to tackle it, one horrific work out at a time. To sum it up, it was quite painful indeed... but now that I'm done and had the endorphin rush yesterday.... it was also quite delightful too.

My Super Clutch Save

2011-07-18T11:48:00.000-07:00

This Sunday, Andy had post-call so I was going to Church with Jordan alone. I embraced the opportunity to be punctual on my own (this will probably be a normal situation once we're in Residency) and prepared by taking a shower at 7:15 AM which gave me ample time to feed Jordan at 8 AM. One thing about Jordan these days is that he is becoming sillier when he feeds, often smiling, stopping to stare and ensure I am paying attention before he continues to eat. He will come off of the boob, look at me with his puppy eyes waiting for me to respond, and when I say something to him, he will smile, look around and then latch on again. He cracks me up but I try not to smile and instead sternly advise him it's time to eat, not play, and surprisingly he always looks as if he understands until the next time around.

Following his 8 AM feeding, I geared up to get him into his Sunday best but as I was getting ready to dress him, we were joined by the loud blast of his poop. His face was priceless - a sort of clench in his jaw which immediately turned into a glorified sigh of relief. I waited a couple of minutes, because he usually has more poop on its way and going too quickly to the diaper changing table spells trouble. As predicted, within mere seconds, a second blast of poop was heard. So I took him to his favorite place these days, the diaper changing pad.

Once on the pad, he looked up at me with excitement, probably because he now recognizes the routine and understands he will feel a lot better down below soon. I prepared by taking out two wipes which were to my right, then opening a new diaper to my left, proceeded to unbutton his onesie, opened his soiled diaper and carefully placed it to my right. He was all smiles and giggles as I changed him and then, his expression immediately changed. I braced myself, already knowing there was a huge possibility this meant more poop and without disappointing me, he started to poop more. Since his poop is not yet solid as he is only drinking milk, imagine a shade lighter than peanut butter (like almond butter) with a consistency of tomato soup - thick but still creamy and liquidy. At this point, my left hand is holding his two feet in the air and my right hand is holding a wipe, his butt is stil covered with poop, the clean diaper is to the left - ugh, too far, the soiled diaper is to the right - ugh, also too far, so I quickly think what else I can do. This is when I decide I will meticulously try to balance the one wipe I'm holding to rest on my palm instead of between my fingers and try my best to balance his watery poop.

Have you ever tried balancing a book on your head and walking down a straight line as you do so? That's how it felt... only my mind was racing with - please don't poop so much that there's no way I can catch this. Please don't kick too hard with your feet, I can do this (wouldn't have been a huge deal if I didn't - just messier and more time consuming to clean), please hurry and finish pooping! And then, just like that he was done. Only now, I had to carefully, with every ounce of balance and precision, move the wipe covered with liquified poop to the soiled diaper and drop it in. I even slowly moved my body with it, so that the jerk from my arm to the hands holding it would be smoother. I got closer... and closer... and then BAM - it was in!

I did it! The third poop was safe and sound in the soiled diaper, and I finished cleaning Jordan up. I dressed Jordan, changed my mind on outfits about five times (it's still hard with most of my stuff too tight!), quickly braided my bangs, put Jordan into the carseat, and off we went! It's as if Jordan knew Daddy was missing and was on extra good behavior getting to Church, through Sacrament and even the second hour of Church. He didn't start to get restless until the third hour, probably missing his Daddy who has been taking him to Elder's Quorum during the third hour for the last two weeks, and then, he just wanted to go outside and lay on the couch and stare at Jesus.

I am still smiling at my clutch save of the diaper that morning. It made my day! On the drive to Church, we even sang (well I sang but he was happy about it) made up songs about being punctual to Church according to the melody of "I Will Survive." It was pretty sweet. It went a little bit like this....

(keep in mind I improvised it...)

At first we were late, we never made it on time... Kept taking too much time to find out what we was gonna wear, we shoulda gotten ready sooner, we shoulda picked our clothes before, we shoulda prepped better, coulda made it to Church on time BUT NOW we are! We're on our way! We're gonna make it there before it starts, it feels so good on time! .....

It's what we did at the Ronald McDonald Camp for Good Times all the time, only our stuff rhymed more but hey, Jordan loved it!

Because Harry Poter Rocks!!!

2011-07-15T07:40:00.000-07:00

When I used to stay up almost every night to feed Jordan (since it took him an hour or so to eat and he ate every 2-3 hours so really, why even go to sleep only to wake up in mere minutes?!), I spent a lot more time online playing with social media platforms like facebook and linked in and watching television on hulu and trailers on youtube too!

One beautiful afternoon, with the sunlight peaking in from the outside reminding me of the little time I spent away from the apartment, instead of taking a stroll outside and enjoying nature, I dove deeper into the abyss of my online world and spent a good hour watching summer trailers - one after another. I have no regrets. It was glorious. Don't judge me. Okay, go ahead....

I was, however, slightly disappointed that I'd be missing so many great summer blockbusters -X-Men First Class, Transformers 3, Captain America, Crazy Stupid Love, The Help, Sherlock Holmes 2, Smurfs, Larry Crowne, Monte Carlo.....

But the one I was and am truly sad about... the one that patience has no hold over (Fall seriously seems so far away) and I am dying to think of how we can sneak away to watch....is of course, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part Two.

Harry Potter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Expelliarmus! Luminos! AHHHHHHHH!!!!

My obsession with Harry Potter dates back to 2000, the summer after I graduated from high school and was working at a small CPA Firm on boring bank reconciliations and data entry for my mom's friend. To say the job was boring is an understatement beyond belief. Lunch was my highlight - I would eat the bento box my mom sent me off with at my desk and read Harry Potter (at the time, books 1, 2 and 3 were out). For years before that, I had been making fun of my brother for reading the book with a boy on a broom on the cover. He told me I had no idea how great the books were (he was part of the early fan base from the UK as the gamers introduced it to him) and I scoffed and mocked him only to repent and eat my own words later as I myself became hooked (but only did so after Harry Potter started getting press from everyone about how great they were... yes I'm a follower, not a leader). After reading not even one chapter, I was hooked. Muggle? Wizards? Owls? Fantastic!

Lucky for me, Andy and I shared this common love for Harry Potter and when we were still just friends, we watched Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince the summer of 2009 at Universal Citywalk and later Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part One in November 2010 as husband and wife!

So of course we attended the Harry Potter Lego event at the Americana Brand a few months ago. I mean... legos and Harry Potter? Andy was in heaven but he was bummed Jordan was not old enough yet to enjoy the displays and building stations available. And since this event is about as close as we will get to the final movie (unless we can get someone to watch Jordan after he goes to bed at 10 and make a late showing... maybe when we venture out to Florida for Harry Potter world with the fam bam? any takers?), I leave you with these photos this beautiful Friday, July 15th, the day the final installment of the Harry Potter series makes its debut.

Ten years in the making and a little over ten years for me since I started reading 'em. Yay for Harry Potter!!!!!!!!!!!!

Harry Potter and me

Jordan enjoying time in the Bjorn on Daddy instead of the Harry Potter lego stuff everywhere!

Hagrid! He was really HUGE just like in real HP world!

Hogwarts... those are ALL legos!

Close up of the lego action for your viewing pleasure

And then this morning, with all the Harry Potter hype, I saw some hilarious "Yo Momma" Harry Potter jokes from my G7 buddies, Stames and Chacon. I am still laughing outloud from these so I just had to share 'em. Yo momma jokes feel okay cuz I'm a mom now, sorta like how racist Asian jokes always seem okay coming from me. ..... If you're not into Harry Potter or have never seen the movies or read the books, these might not be as funny.

Yo momma's so fat, her patronus is a cake!

Yo momma's so fat, the sorting hat put her in the house of pancakes!

Yo momma's so ugly, instead of kissing her, the dementor gave her a handshake and promise to call sometime

Yo momma's so fat, she tried to eat Cornelius Fudge

Yo mama's so dumb she thought that she could talk to snakes if she put parsley on her tongue

Yo Mama so nasty, everybody call her “She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Naked”

Yo mama's so stupid, she drowned in a pensieve

Yo mama so fat the core of her wand has a cream filling!

Hope you enjoyed those as much as I did! LOVEEEEEE!