"If I could be like Mike!"

Remember the commercial, with all the cute little kids playing basketball and the music playing in the background “If I could be like Mike?” I do. In fact, I still want to be like Mike. However, the other day after reading an article from ESPN The Magazine that was written about an interview with Michael Jordan, I changed my mind. In the article MJ compared how the NBA was when he was a rising star to how the NBA is today. He went from being Michael Jordan, a relatively unknown rookie out of UNC, to becoming known worldwide as MJ… mainly because he had a personality that fit the change that the NBA was making at the time. In his own words, the “stars lined up.” Once they had lined up, and the NBA realized what a special opportunity they had, the NBA partnered up with MJ and he became the face of the NBA.

In MJ’s opinion the NBA is now trying to find the next MJ. They are trying to recreate something that happened spontaneously in the past in order to create similar success. They are promoting up and coming stars as the next Jordan, and in essence, pressuring the players to try and fit the MJ mold. Jordan talks about how that is backwards, the NBA should allow the players to develop on their own, to be themselves, to allow their own personality to show through, and once they are established, then partner up with them. Makes sense, right?

I remember when I first went to the Missionary Training Center, I remember feeling as if I had to fit a mold. I felt as if I needed to completely reinvent myself according to the expectations of my teachers and leaders. I tried to do that, and I felt I was making some progress until after one teaching experience, I was told very bluntly how poorly I had taught. I felt like I did alright, like I had somehow filled the mold, the expectations. But in that experience, I realized there was not really a mold for a perfect missionary. I was an individual and was to allow my own personality to shine through as I did the work. I could let my personality show through when I taught, in fact, to be successful, I needed to be true to myself. Not that there were not changes and improvements that I needed to go through, there were and still are plenty to keep me busy, but the process was one that I needed to experience my own way.

The interesting thing is that the Scriptures admonish us to be like Christ. He is the perfect example, and He teaches us to be perfect, even as He and Heavenly Father are perfect. (3 Nephi 12:48) Some have felt a need to rebel against that, stating that diversity is good, and that if we all become like Christ we would lose many of the good things about ourselves. C.S Lewis gives an illustration that show how in our efforts to lose ourselves and become like Christ, we actually allow our own selves to shine brighter.

“Imagine a lot of people who have always lived in the dark. You come and try to describe to them what light is like. You might tell them that if they come into the light that same light would fall on them all and they would all reflect it and thus become what we call visible. Is it not quite possible that they would imagine that, since they were all receiving the same light, and all reacting to tit in the same way (i.e. all reflecting it), they would all look alike? Whereas you and I know that the light will in fact bring out, or show up, how different they are.”

Turns out being like Mike is a completely different process than becoming like our Savior. One process stifles you, while the other sets you free. The only way in which we can be true to ourselves, to truly find out about who we are is to come in the light, the light who is Christ.

City of Brotherly Love?

In the everlasting fight to stay awake in class, I decided my only hope for today was to write my blog in my afternoon psych class. With the 45 minutes of sleep that I got this morning, I do not really know why I decided to show up to class, but I am here, and I might as well make the best use of my time.

This past weekend my roommates and I went on a road trip to San Francisco. We all had our own reasons for going: I wanted to see my sister and her family, Quinn wanted to see off his significant other (she’s going on a mission), Satish wanted to see Alcatraz and eat Ghirardelli chocolate, and Justin wanted to eat Chinese food. In addition to accomplishing all of the above, we were also able to make 2 music videos, take numerous pictures that I am sure are worth a lot of money, and start a Rock Band… kind of.

Interestingly enough, although I loved every minute of the road trip, with the possible exception of arriving home this morning at five and having to wake up at six for a meeting, I realized I am basically still living the dream, and was living the dream before we even thought about the trip. It was not necessarily San Francisco that made the road trip memorable, it was the people that I was with that made it unforgettable.

It started with four guys driving across the country in a little VW Passat. When one of those guys is a crazy Indian man, you are almost guaranteed that something crazy will happen. In addition to him cleaning the windshield with his pants, he ended up ripping his shirt off. This made it almost natural to start recording a music video. Although we almost died around minute 3:18 of the music video, we ended up getting to San Francisco in one piece. Justin, Quinn and Satish went off to see Claire, while I got to stay and spend time with my niece, sister and brother-in-law. The entire weekend was magical, as we got to see Alcatraz, eat an overpriced seafood lunch, yell Chinese idioms at old people in Chinatown, and hear a future missionary share her testimony. The exclamation mark was put on the trip as we left Claire’s house. Justin, Satish and I broke out into a rendition of “Kiss the Girl” as we tried to shield the two love birds from the views of her family. She then proceeded to grab Quinn and pull him in to top off her canteen.

We came home at 5 in the morning, and although we were groggy, we talked about how we had lived the dream. After my head cleared from the fog that inevitably comes with no sleep, I realized that the destination of the trip was not what made it memorable. The memories were formed because of the people I was with. The trip was amazing because I went on a trip with my roomies, and visited people that we cared about. We could have gone to North Dakota and I would have come home with the same type of feeling. After that epiphany, I realized that if I would just stop taking for granted those who I have the opportunity to associate with on a daily basis, I could always be living the “dream.” It’s funny how friends and family mean so much to me, but they are so easily taken for granted. It is so easy to think that the ties that bond you together are so strong that consistent effort is unnecessary to maintain those bonds. But, as with everything else in this world, if you do not put effort and energy into your relationships they will deteriorate. BFF can only be forever if both people are willing to work towards that. Families can only be together forever if we support one another in staying on the strait and narrow path. If we do not care enough to maintain those relationships in this life and work towards helping people get and stay on the path, why would we even want to have the opportunity for eternal families?

So I guess I need to be a better brother, friend, son, uncle, and nephew. I guess I better stop taking for granted the wonderful people in my life. I guess I should do a little bit more reaching out. Maybe if I did, my life would become one big “road trip.”

Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods won yesterday. Surprised? I wasn’t. For some reason it just seems like he always wins. He’s 32 and just reaching the prime years of professional golfers, and he is already considered the greatest golfer to have played the game. There is always some young and upcoming player that is touted as the next challenger to Tiger’s throne. But nothing ever materializes, and it just ends up being Tiger and the rest of the PGA Tour. He has all the money he could ever want; in fact, some think he will be the first billion dollar athlete. Over the years he has changed his swing, his coach, his caddie, his clubs, his ball; maybe the only thing he has not changed is his shirt color on Sunday. Through all the change, he continues to dominate.

I have often wondered what it would be like to get inside his head. To see what drives him. To see why he has not pulled a Michael Jordan and switched to baseball, just for something new and exciting. To see why he never sounds off when his competitors talk smack. To see why he still outworks those around him, when the gap between him and the next competitor is already nearly insurmountable.

Why is he an exception to the rule that you often fall to the level of your competition? How did he come back from his 1-over par 73 on Saturday to fire a 7-under for his largest come-from-behind win since 2000?

He is a freak of nature in all aspects. There is no other explanation.

Although I can not answer those questions and do not claim to understand what really drives him, seeing Tiger Woods continue to do his thing reminds me of something I have been taught my whole life. My dad always said, “It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game. It’s whether or not you are improving.” When he would say that, I used to think to myself “That’s what losers say to keep their confidence up.” But now I think I am starting to see the wisdom within it. Think about Tiger. He won by eight strokes a few weeks ago, but in the press conference he talked about how he was disappointed with many facets of his game. His honest evaluation of his performance compared to his view of his potential allowed him to determine ways to improve and develop.

But I am not Tiger Woods, and golf is not my number one priority; following my Savior is. Unlike Tiger, to be successful in my priority I do not need to beat out someone else. Seems a little more conducive to the whole “compete with yourself” mentality, doesn’t it? But being the prideful kid I am, I still struggle with that. I get complacent when I feel that I am one-upping my neighbor, and my progress slows. I get frustrated when I see someone else who is not struggling with the same things as myself, and stop focusing on what I can do better and think instead about why this guy thinks he’s got it all figured out. Dumb, huh?

What’s even worse is that even when I am in the right mind set, and only competing against myself, I will sometimes think “Well I did better at that yesterday, so today I failed.” That mind set almost seems to be true. But that thought comes up short. It is lacking the eternal perspective of my Father in Heaven. He never compares me to others, only to my own potential. He does not even compare what I do today with what I did yesterday, because He understands that today is not yesterday. He recognizes that my potential to do something today might be a little less than yesterday, maybe because I did not sleep well last night. But I often over look that, and that short sightedness can lead to discouragement and despair.

Tiger seems to get this principle. He can bounce back from days in which the public claims he did not play up to his “standards.” He seems to not make excuses, but to take into account all the factors that contributed to the outcome, and make changes where he needs to. He stays within himself, and he plays his game, regardless of what others do. I think if I were to approach life the way that I feel Tiger approaches golf, I would be more optimistic, recognize more ways to improve, and be happier as I understand that all I can give is all I can give. If it is not as much as I gave yesterday, so be it; as long as it was all I had.

President Gordon B. Hinckley

When I was in Hong Kong serving as a missionary, I had the choice experience of shaking hands with President Hinckley. He had stopped by the Mission Home while we were holding a leadership training meeting and decided to visit with us for a minute. As he walked in the room which we were sitting, President Ong immediately turned the time over to him. I remember I sat about 3 feet away from him, watching intently and listening to every word which he spoke. When a man whom you know talks with God speaks it's always a good idea to give him your full attention. I remember him sharing about his previous experiences in Hong Kong, how the Lord spoke to him about where the Hong Kong temple should be, how it's always hot and humid in Hong Kong and how amazed he was that we were all looking sharp in our suits. He expressed how much he loved us, and more importantly how much the Lord loved us, and then he flashed that smile of his, bore his testimony and went on with his business.

After President Hinckley left the room, our mission president, President Ong, spoke. He did not return to what he was talking about before our Prophet had entered, but shared some of his thoughts and feelings about being in the presence of the Lord's spokesman. He shared about how when you looked into President Hinckley's eyes you could tell that he was a man who loved the Lord. He was a man who you knew dedicated his life to serving his God, and those around him. He was a man who could light up a room just by walking into it, and his smile and attitude to those around him was such that it could melt away any bitterness or hate. President Ong then told me something that I will never forget. He said that even without the mantle of the prophet, even without being called as the President of the Lord's church, President Hinckley would still have had that look in his eyes, that effect when he walked into rooms, and that ability to make everyone feel at home. He said that if each of us would be willing to give ourselves to the Lord in the same way that President Hinckley decided to give himself to the Lord, that one day we might be able to have that same influence on people.

Although, the above experience is my only personal experience interacting with President Hinckley, he has greatly influenced my life. His example, teachings, demeanor, love for others, love for life, and prayers have been a great strength to me as I strive to develop a close relationship to my Savior. And although the prospect of not hearing his voice in this life again is quite saddening, when I think of his reunion with his wife Marjorie, I can not help but to smile. In addition, I know that the voice of the Lord will continue to come down to His people through the next prophet that will be called. The work on this side of the veil will continue to go forward, and the work on the other side of the veil now has another great leader to help its cause!

The Greeks asked one question upon the funeral of a companion. Did he live with passion?

Last night I watched a movie that I do not think I would recommend to anyone. The only reason that I mention it here in my blog is that it reminds me of a book that I read a few weeks ago that I highly recommend to everyone, For One More Day, by Mitch Albom. Both the movie and the book focus on second chances. Basically, the protagonist is given a set amount of time to be with someone they love. I thought about how I would react if I knew that I was given a set amount of time to be with someone that I loved, and how that knowledge would affect the things that I did, the way I interacted with them, or even what I thought about them. It seems like any given person put in that situation would act differently... and as I thought about that, I decided that should not be.

The reason I say that stems from a conversation that I had with my mission president a long time ago. During an interview that I had with him, he shared with me a principle that has changed my life. Knowing that I played piano, he began to describe two different types of pianists. He described the pianist who plays without emotion, who makes sure that every note is played exactly how the sheet music dictates, with every crescendo and decrescendo occurring at precisely the right time. Then he described the pianist who also works hard at getting the piece as close to perfection as possible, but as he goes through the process, he makes the piece part of himself and puts his soul into playing the piece. He shared how the latter type of pianist is the type that can change the world through the music he plays because he plays the music with a passion. He went on to promise that if I would live my life with a passion, I could be successful in anything. I believe that promise is true and that it can apply to everyone.

The tough part then becomes defining how to "live with a passion." I have my own personal idea, which has been influenced by my membership in the Church and my understanding of the atonement of Christ. In fact, I do not believe that I could live passionately without the Gospel and the atonement of Christ, which I'll explain in a minute. But first, defining living passionately. For me, one aspect of living life with a passion means to be willing to take chances, to fail, to try something that is not a sure thing. Too often I find myself being comfortable with the status quo, comfortable with only playing with golfers I know I will light up, only taking classes I know I will ace; but with that type of attitude, I will never know my potential, I will never grow, and I will never experience failure. It may sound like a good lifestyle, to always succeed, but it's not. Another aspect is to be like the second pianist, and be willing to let people know that you put your heart and soul into the things you do. I think it's human nature to try and protect yourself, and not let people know how much you care about something because if you do, and you fail, you will look like a fool. Who cares? It is in those moments, when you put everything out there and still came up short that you learn something about yourself. And it is only when you put everything into something that the victory can be sweet. I am struggling to put into words some of the other principles that I feel are essential to living with a passion, but as they come I will add them, and I would appreciate anyone's comments about how you live your life with a passion.

Now the reason that I could not live life with this attitude without the Gospel boils down to the fact that I fail a lot. I put myself out there a lot, and get rejected; I come up short on a countless number of goals that I set for myself; I shoot for the stars and end up in the same place I started. Sometimes it's quite discouraging, especially when I feel like I failed in the only chance that I would ever have. That's where the atonement of Christ brings great comfort. Everytime I fail, I sit back and evaluate myself on two principles. First, I ask myself if I had pure motivations. If I was trying to accomplish something to better myself, to reach righteous goals, then I move on to the second principle. I next ask myself if I tried my hardest. If I can answer positively to that question, then I know I did all I could do, and I am ready to try again. If I am able to answer yes to both those questions, then I know that I am qualified for the grace of Jesus Christ. That basically means that if accomplishing that specific thing is important to my eternal progression, meaning if it is necessary to me returning to live with God, then Christ will provide a way to overcome my inadequacies and achieve what I need to. And if it is not essential, then there's no harm in failing, or coming up short. By living with a passion, and by understanding the atonement of Christ, I have found that I can live without regret, always looking forward to the next time that I can wear my heart on my sleeve and see what happens.

Returning to the book and the movie. If I was told that I only had a short amount of time left to be with someone I cared deeply about, I guess that I might change my schedule around, to ensure that my time was spent wisely. However, I hope that the way in which I had been living my life and the way in which I would interact with the person would be the same; which I believe could only be the case had I been living my life fully, with passion.

Creator of Circumstances

Life is good... or is it? Today I was listening to Quinn teach Sunday School and we talked about the first few chapters of the Book of Mormon. The story is basically about a family who is commanded by the Lord to leave Jerusalem and embark on a journey through the wilderness. All members of the family go through the same hardships, some complain and others don't. For those who complained, they probably thought life stunk and eventually it did. For the others, they simply went about making the most of their situation, and life ended up quite lovely. It's funny how much our perspective and attitudes can affect us.

Considering it's getting late, and I have started this post over like 3 times and haven't liked anything I have written, I am going to keep this fairly short. And instead of trying to come up with my own thoughts I am just going to share someone else's thoughts. Although this is directed specifically to missionaries I think it applies to any situation. Elder Ballard said:

Success does not depend on the message, but on the messenger. We each learn that failure and excuses go together, so we must learn to get away from excuses. Dull or slow months are for dull missionaries, so remember that sharp missionaries don't have any.

Do not be a missionary who complains about his unreceptive people, his constant refusers, his companion, his leaders, and his burdens. Instead be a missionary who can be placed in any area and in any set of circumstances, and be relied on to set things right. Become a CREATOR OF CIRCUMSTANCES instead of a creature of circumstances.

This is why SUCCESS is not LUCK. It can be predicted and followed each day into a successful week, year, and mission. Live one day at a time as though it were a building block. Do each day what should be done that day, and do not under-work, because that brings on the "bad luck" and slumps.

Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve... A desire does not come from practical knowledge, but it comes from compulsions and obsessions. Desire leads to a goal, and it is the starting point of all achievement. The power of definite desire is beyond all practical goals that USE NO EMOTION. We need to get involved emotionally in our goal to baptize. Who will baptize next? The mission field is successful only to successful missionaries.

Live life with a passion. Only by doing so can you see your true potential. Only by going for something you might fail in can you ever achieve something special.

New Beginnings

I'm back in Provo. After a few week stint in both San Francisco and in Arizona, I have returned to what my friends and I often refer to as P-town, the Provs, and sometimes when we are speaking Chinese "Po-vo." When I walked into my room and realized what a pig-sty it was, it dawned on me the wisdom of my mother who always cleans before vacation, thereby buffering the harsh return to reality. One day I will learn.

Church today was quite uplifting, as usual. As is the tradition in the Church on the first Sunday of the month, the time in Sacrament meeting was open for anyone who desired to stand up and share with the congregation principles of the Gospel. Typically, these meetings are very spiritual as people share the thoughts and feelings that have been close to their heart. With today being the first Sunday of the year, much of the meeting centered around the fact that after reflection on 2007, New Year's resolutions had been made in order to bring in more growth and development in 2008. One comment that I especially liked was that the New Year is basically a time that society has built in the calendar for us all to repent, make changes and commit ourselves to a higher standard.

This past week I have been trying to reflect upon 2007, trying to see the areas I need to develop, to change and to strengthen. I decided that I would make my goals today, which I have done. But during this process I have wondered why human nature is such that we wait until the New Year, or new semester, or a new season to reflect and set a new course. I recently read Tuesday's with Morrie, in which I found this quote:

Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn.
Mahatma Gandhi

Gandhi seems to have a better idea about our potential to change, and our potential to have new beginnings than we have in society today. Why do we think that change will be easier tomorrow than it will today? Why do we believe that after we graduate, or after we get a promotion, or after we get married life will somehow become better, we will be happier and we will just be the person that we want to be? Maybe I am the only one who has thought like this, but over time I have realized that I have never been changed by an event in my life. I have only seen a change in myself that comes because of a decision to change. The way I see it, the best time to make that decision is in that moment when the epiphany comes to you. So although I am excited to begin working on all the goals that I wrote down today, the goal that I am most excited about is to be constantly accountable to myself and the Lord and be willing to follow the promptings that come when I least expect it.