The Car Epiphany

Growing up, I remember my yi-ma and her clean and organized home.  When I opened her cabinets to find a towel, everything was not only neatly folded and in its place, but there were labeled storage containers with pills and band-aids, and all sorts of orderly identified items.  It was mesmerizing.  I was hooked.  However, I remember being a little intimidated in her car because it was so immaculate, and we were not allowed to eat in there. 

Fast forward to life with three kids, and our car was a cess pool of goldfish crumbs, conjoined fruit snacks, spoiled milk, and random toys in knick knacks corners I never knew even existed in cars!  Who knew a car could have so much space for crap?!  Alas, it seemed all the parents we knew were in the same boat. 

And then it happened.  We had a car epiphany.  Well, first we heard Andy's sister had a no eating in the car rule.  We were floored.  And intrigued.  And in order to keep up with them, we opted to join in!  It was hard at first, definitely a drastic change from stuffing our kids full of snacks whenever they whined.  Plus, I never imagined I would be a "no eating in the car" type of adult, but I make exceptions and it's been...  a year and a half, and it has been amazing.  Our car is still messy, but not as bad as it would be if we allowed eating.  We definitely make exceptions, but if we didn't have the no eating rule, it would be even worse.  As I was doing yet another sock retrieval from the van, I realized there are a few things I do for van upkeep, which is hilarious since the van is still disgusting.  Just NOT as disgusting as it would be without.  Trash into a bag pretty much everyday, sock and toy retrieval once every few days, and when time permits, we get over to the car wash (Dagny hates the carwash so we barely go these days) and vacuum too.  I think we'll do that tomorrow while Dagny's at school. The only reason I even want to share this is to remind my kids and encourage my friends to try a no eating rule also.  It's doable!  I mean, if we can do it, anyone can! 

Taking Back Control

So life has mostly been the same, but I got a new hobby.  I know, I know, I feel like I have so many hobbies.  Five years ago, I learned how to do Photoshop.  About four years ago, I decided to continue my college thesis and try to write a book about my experiences with my Chinese Mom.  That's still going on, but sort of on the side (here), whenever an experience or idea pops into my head, but a lot of it is so emotional, it can be draining sometimes to revisit those memories or navigate the sometimes strained but still loving relationship with my mom.  We are both difficult, I'm sure.  And I did finish my Chinese children's book about the Chinese Zodiac, and submitted it to one publisher, but probably need to just submit it to a few more before I give up and self-publish it (need an illustrator though!).  And I began learning how to make cakes last Fall, because I figured it'd be a good way to save some money since with six people in the family, that's a lot of cake each year!  It's been kind of a fun way to learn a new skill, and I've had varying levels of success, but it's pretty involved and not something I want to do all the time.  So I guess what I'm trying to justify is that my various hobbies have some sort of progress before I come up with a new one, because I got a new one!  I've been thinking so long about how I can do something what what I love, and now, I am on the journey to doing just that!

At 35, without a full-time job, and being at home with my four kids, and having a lot of energy (never caffeinated, even before I became Mormon), I just needed to put that energy somewhere I wanted.  I have always loved organizing, since I was a kid.  I remember going over to my friend's house, and I would just start to clean her room, but really I was just putting stuff away, and I loved it.  I never dusted or vacuumed her room, I do like cleaning, but not as much as I like organizing!  I just like it when things have a place they belong, and figuring out where that is.... but I've kind of let myself go since having four kids, so now I'm slowly picking up the pieces and organizing and cleaning out a lot of clutter and junk that we've accumulated in the short four years that we've lived in this home.  It's been SO MUCH FUN so far, and I am having a blast!  So I think I will come back and do some printables, utilizing my new Photoshop skills, and I might even make some videos because Andy got a new video camera and he's been using it to do some video compilations for our family history.  I'm on Instagram so far, but nothing more, and I can't wait to see where this hobby goes.  If nothing, my home will be cleaner and more orderly for it!  My handle was thought of by my friend Jess, so grateful she came up with something clever!  See what I'm up to here: Instagram account link

Cheers!

Apparently...I Can't Stay Away

Today was one for the books.  Andy heard a weird clanking sound in his car, so he ended up taking the van to work and I was left with the Lexus, trying to figure out how to get it fixed.  First, I asked if I could exchange carpool pick-ups, then I asked my friends who all live nearby and have kids in the same classes as my #2 and #3, and then I was left with just #4 (#1 already went to school).  But before that could even happen, let's talk about my kids.  My kids have now been eating cold cereal and toast for breakfast, pretty much every single day.  I used to offer them hot breakfast like scrambled eggs, pancakes, breakfast burritos, breakfast sandwiches, the whole nine yards.  At a certain point over the summer, they began to see the joy of cold cereal and have never looked back.  Hot breakfast became a thing of the past.  But with packing lunch almost everyday for Jordan, I didn't mind it so much.  Today, as I was scrambling to call different car repair places and the Lexus dealer, while texting the mom friends to exchange carpools and arrange for my kids to hang with their buddies before school started, my kids decided this was the day they were craving some scrambled eggs.  Not wanting to get a pan out, I did the mom hack of microwaving scrambled eggs in a bowl (be sure to spray the boil and plate that goes on top with tons of oil first) and my kids devoured it, as if they had never had eggs in their lives, telling me how wonderful it was to have scrambled eggs for breakfast.  Of course.

I had a quick work call (so the television babysat my kids), and then managed to get a load of laundry in before and make sure my kids were all dressed with their teeth brushed, before we made our way out to fix the car.

I ended up going to the Lexus dealer, because I wanted that free ride home in case it would take longer, and there I could rest and wait for all my older three kids to get home. That, and I love dealer lounges because if I'm going to wait there, I'd much rather wait on a nice couch, or in a dirty play area (versus a dirty waiting area), and I am glad I chose the Lexus dealer, because that customer waiting area was phenomenal!  They had Jimmy John sandwiches (cut into fourths but I had three little ones), yogurt, granola, salted nuts, soda, water, tea, coffee, packaged crackers and fresh cookies.  Cooper and I enjoyed the dirty play area, the free hand sanitizer nearby, and lots of chamomile tea on top of the yogurt and sandwiches I had for lunch.  I read some magazines, watched some TV, and chilled with Cooper while he looked around from inside the confines of the Ergo, or crawled around to play with the toys in their dirty toy room.  No really, it was disgusting in there, there was a piece of cookie being devoured by a group of hungry ants in one corner, we didn't stay for long in there, even the couch parents sit on was filthy, but Cooper did eat his cookie in there so I'd feel less guilty about the mess he made.

Turns out this huge drill bit was stuck in our tire, and clanking against the inside of the car, and sure enough, it ruined our tire.  Well, we needed new tires anyway, so we counted ourselves quite lucky, and $48 dollars and 3 hours later, we were off.  I'd call it a successful day.

And yet... adulting is no fun.  So many things got overlooked, no laundry got folded today, we had quesadillas, leftover chili, and pho noodles in a bowl from Costco for dinner, and the dishes didn't get cleared until late at night.  I still have to call insurance to see if Jordan's teeth anesthesia can be covered (any little bit helps!), and many other little errands of calling someone or following up on something Andy asked me to do a week ago.  I mean, that's the kind of stuff I live off of normally, but when a wrench or a drillbit gets in your way, it all gets put on hold, and that throws me off guard a bit.  I truly absolutely love being at home with my kids, it's a true blessing to be able to, especially when most of my closest friends are the breadwinners or all have to work along with their husbands, I count my lucky stars that I get to be home with my kiddos, but then something like this happens and I'm reminded that as good as I have it, I'm still an adult who has to deal with adult problems from time to time.  *sigh.  Remember when my biggest dilemma was what to wear to the first day of school?  I don't long for those days, but then again, maybe I do.

And ultimately, the point is, I want to keep blogging, whether it's personal or public, or a combination of both, because I love looking back and seeing that this is how I felt or what I wrote at that time.  I want to remember the tender mercy of being able to handle this car stuff while Andy's at work.  Of having relatives nearby who can come pick me up if the Lexus dealer can't take me.  Of feeling like my village of mom neighbors and carpool buddies can help me out when I get a day like this.  So yes, apparently... I can't stay away.

Journaling Is Good For the Soul

And I need to do it more, but in the meantime, all my public stuff will be reserved for sharing my stories of growing up ABC.

So head on over there if you want to see what I've been working on.  As for family journaling, we probably won't be using this public domain space much for it anymore.

CLICK HERE TO READ!

Jordan on Being Gone For School

"Dad, I'm gone all day like you now.  Do you ever miss us when you're gone?  Because I didn't even have time to miss Bubba and Dagny, I was too busy doing stuff."

"Dad, when you go to work, I go to school.  When I'm done, I come home, and then you come home too.  So now I don't have to miss you all day, because I'm doing stuff too."

He sure knows how to makes it sound like we do absolutely nothing at home all day long.

First Grade Here We Come

Jordan's starting first grade tomorrow.  That means I won't have him home with me for the majority of the day, he will be gone from 9 AM - 3:45 PM everyday.  I used to laugh at the moms freaking out over their kid leaving for school, but now I am in the same spot, freaking out a bit.  But let me explain why...

School orientation and registration for first time parents is ridiculously awful.  As a parent with a child going into first grade at a new school, I was hoping to learn a few things during registration.

How to:
1. drop off and pick up my kid
2. buy lunch
3. excuse an absence

Maybe I didn't read through the information thoroughly (I did), but none of this information was presented to me!  I had to go to the office to ask about everything, which was quickly explained to me, but wouldn't a simple worksheet have solved that for me?

Now as I'm pondering through what time to wake up to get all four kids packed so we can walk him to class the first day, I'm getting kind of nervous.  It reminds me of all those "first time parent" insecurities and questions we had the first time around.  How hard it was to figure things out, how much we scoured the internet and more experienced friends for help.  How dumb we felt.  How ill prepared we felt.  How lost we felt.

I'm so nervous for Jordan.  Mostly because he doesn't have any guy friends with him.  He'll know two girls because their moms are my friend and they came to our house for a 3-day Chinese camp, but all his besties from kindergarten are going to different schools.  I know Jordan won't have any problem making friends, but I'm still nervous for him because I want him to make good friends, ones who will be kind and supportive, honest and good, and most importantly a good influence on him.  I want him to feel proud of himself, I want him to love learning, I want him to love recess, and I want him to love first grade.  I have so many memories of trying to make new friends, of being a loner, of struggling to find people I connected with, and my heart is just praying that if he has those same experiences, that they'll be short lived and a distant memory.  

The other thing I'm scared about is that Jordan is not a sharing information type of kid.  My other kids will tell me what they did, what their favorite thing is, the best part of their day, etc., but Jordan is kind of mums about it all.  If I ask his Primary class what he did for the week, he says, "I forgot" when I know what he did, because I was with him all week.  If I ask him to tell Andy what he did that was fun during the day, he shrugs it off and doesn't respond. It hasn't been a problem for me because I'm with him all day, but once he's in school for most of the day, I won't be privy to his day so much anymore.  And that makes me sad.

Nevertheless, first grade... ready or not, here we come.

Some Humble Pie For One

I Sometimes, I get to thinking I am the bomb.  My pride inflates when I am able to make it to places with four kids on my own, like swimming lessons.  It doesn't help when my friends praise me with things like, "supermom!" or "I don't know how you do it."  And then I go to swim class and have a piece of humble pie when another mom with four kids, all close in age also, shows up and her baby is definitely less than a month old.  And she didn't even have a carrier with her!

Today while I showered during my baby's nap and while the big kids were eating, I thought about this incident as the water trickled and I got some much needed silence.  I started to think about how life is funny, perspective is everything, or it's all relative.  We might think we are having the roughest day, only to hear someone else had it worse.  Or alternatively, we might think we are doing awesome, and there's always someone better or ahead.  Wherever we are on this path of adulthood, there is always someone else who has it harder or easier, and we are all different.  It was a good reminder that I should be proud of my own accomplishments, but not let it get to my head, and to stay humble. Usually, I have to remind myself not to compare my weaknesses to someone else's strengths, but on the other spectrum, is reminding myself not to compare my strengths to someone else's weaknesses.

 It was a good piece of pie.