Crying It Out

Jordan's been crying for 45 minutes.  I got him and fed him but then he wanted to play.  Then his eyes fluttered and you could tell he was struggling to stay awake, a laugh came out at the same time that his fists went towards his eyes....his red, red ... very red eyes.  Oh my.... what have I done?!  Back to the crib son!  45 painful heart wrenching crying minutes later.... he has finally fallen asleep...

Jordan is on the verge of crawling and is too excited for sleep.  Sleep is overrated.  I agree son!  Unfortunately, I need him to nap so he can be happy, rested and ready to work at crawling when it's playtime later (and I can finish everything on my list for the day!).

I hate letting Jordan cry it out and I'm probably the reason he has been pushing the buttons lately.  With every daytime "crying it out" session, I have been getting him, prolonging his next "crying it out" session because hey, it worked last time he did it!... Meanwhile, my heart is breaking at his lurching cries and gasping for breath whimpers, and how I long to just cradle him safely in my arms instead of making him sleep.  But wait... NO!  Because then he rubs his eyes and I KNOW he is tired, but refusing to sleep.  It's just more fun NOT sleeping.  Alas, I return him to his crib.  I let him cry.  I sit and listen and long to get him.  I tell myself no.  And then I try to distract myself but man, is it painful.

 Why would I sleep when I can eat pandas?!

 Or pillows?

 Crying it out - the most agonizing thing a parent can endure.  After 45 minutes, this is how I found him (I put the blanket on after I found him asleep).

I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, but after that "crying it out experience," my lonely lunch by myself didn't make it any better.  Except for my lunch dates with my mom and brother (who just left for Taiwan for six months ... sad face), lunch normally consists of leftovers, lunch meat straight from the bag shoved into my mouth or inhaled (whatever is quicker), a yogurt, and maybe some fruit.  I try to remember to breathe but really my goal is to eat quickly so I can get other stuff done.  

Today, I decided to be adventurous and made myself a salad and well.. we don't really have salad bowls so here I am.  And well, the lonely lunch was made funny by my big blue ghetto bowl.  

I know, I'm so posh but a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do to get stuff done.