"Phil Good": The "I Don't Care I'm Just a Mom" Syndrome

It started slowly. Creeped up on me. Didn't feel like it was a big deal. Was just one time. I was just so tired. Nobody was going to see me anyway. Who really cares, right? It's more comfortable this way.

In the beginning, I'd pick sleep over shower. In fact, I'm quite positive I did.. many many times. Then, once I mustered a bit more energy and Jordan's sleeping patterns normalized, I'd pick the internet over shower.

Nobody cares if I'm in my PJs all day. Jordan sure doesn't! Nobody cares if my hair's not done. Jordan sure doesn't! Nobody cares if I'm not wearing any make-up. Jordan sure doesn't! Nobody cares if my hair's a little oily. Jordan sure doesn't! Nobody cares if I've been wearing that for days. Jordan sure doesn't!

You know why they make kids wear uniforms? To strip them of any identity and force them into chains of uniformity! Actually, I'm not sure really, but I think it's for the same reason Corporate America enforces business casual or formal in the workplace. It's why my old Firm required closed toe shoes for females and nylons for any skirts worn (I was probably the only person who followed this rule in 2004, naive lil newbie me) - to help us look the part and thereby act the part.

There have been studies (somewhere) that show if you are dressed accordingly, you will act accordingly. I'm not sure those studies are accurate or even meaningful, but I do know that I was slowly.... tripping... then falling, then plunging into the abyss of the I don't care, I'm just a mom syndrome. This syndrome is quite different from the MILKs (mom I'd like to kiss) who have been made popular through Desperate Housewives, Real Housewives of Orange County, New York, Beverly Hills and Atlanta, and are more throwback to put on a t-shirt, barely do your hair pair it with some mom jeans, scrunchies and not hot at all. And the latter is what I became.

My toes look like I have been kicking bricks and I still can't stop biting my fingernails whilst thinking of all the stuff left to do from my massive checklists. With Jordan around, dressing up feels useless as the unknown spit-up or poop may attack at any given moment, sending my outfit into the laundry and me hopelessly looking for something else to wear. Tired and indifferent to society's restraint of proper dress, groom and etiquette, and the inadvertent sabotage from my son, I began to happily lounge all day in my oily undone hair, husband's hospital scrubs and if I was trying, my Lululemon baggy pants with an old wrinkly t-shirt.

This all changed last Wednesday. I woke up early and did my hair and even put on some make-up because I was having a headshot done for the new company (look, I'm on a website!) When I came home, my hair still looked good and my face looked more alert than normal.. guess there's something to this whole make-up thing. I liked how I looked. I felt good about how I looked. And I was happier and more productive throughout the day. (I know, I'm so vain) I even think Jordan might have wondered who this new person was holding and playing with him all day long.

So I decided I was tired of not having a reason to get ready in the morning and resolved to start doing my hair, putting on some make-up, and putting on nice clothes. I'm still working on the nice shoes and my nails are still in need of an upgrade, but so far it feels good. It feels good to get ready in the morning for my meaningful job as a mom (and that part time thing I do from home too I guess...).

Being a mom is just as important (and much more demanding!) as having a high profile job in some big Fortune 500 company... so why shouldn't I put some time into getting ready in the morning for my big and important awesome role as a mom?

We'll see how long this lasts... but so far, it feels good.

Our friends, the Rasmussens, have advised me I must have more photos in my blog. I'm not a photo blog person, but I'll see how far I can get before giving up.

What's up Mommy?! You wanna take some photos of me for the 6 month statistics?!