Loner Me

Jordan and I just returned from a long weekend in the bay area and Sonoma County for my BFF's wedding.  It was a burning hot weekend without Andy which led me to better appreciate my husband's company at weddings.  My parents also came since they have known Grace for as long as me so I had a lot of help with Jordan while I was off with my bridal party responsibilities.  Alas, my plus one, Jordan, cute as he may be, cannot talk yet... so every time something funny happened or something noteworthy, I'd start to say something, look for a response - and whichever friend I was meaning to talk to, would be with their significant other or assume I wasn't talking to them (but hello, if not them then who?!).  After this happened about four times, I realized... nobody's listening to me, but I wouldn't give up and was met with continued disappointment known as one person conversations. They must have thought I was full of rhetorical questions this weekend.  No, they probably didn't hear me.  Everyone was with their dates and enjoying the photo booth, chip bar, or free flowing wine, and then there was lil ol' me, unsuccessfully trying to take photo booth photos with Jordan (huge fail), grabbing chips on my own and eating them by myself, and then walking around with Jordan on the dance floor (which he absolutely loved).  It reminded me a lot of eighth grade when my abnormal 5'7 height made it difficult for any of the guys to ask me for a dance.  Instead, I roamed around the refreshment table, slouched over, embarrassed of my towering height, longing for a handsome tall man to dance with. Not much has changed.

Jordan, on the other hand, didn't seem to notice Daddy was missing, until he saw him in the airport Sunday night and was all smiles and happiness.  But as for the weekend, he got so much attention from strangers, everyone at the wedding, and wai-puo and wai-gong, that he didn't even realize when Mommy was gone!  It wasn't until after my MOH speech that he seemed to want me, and I think that might have been just to sit at the head table so he could see everyone.  The dance floor was also a playground for him - he roamed the wooden floor before people began dancing and tapped the speakers, wondering where that music was coming from.  As the night progressed past his bedtime, he became tired but refused to rest and instead, reached out to everybody and anybody to hold him on the dance floor.  He just wanted to be in the mix. So you see, my date wasn't that into me.  


I remember there being a time when showing up at a wedding alone didn't seem as big of a deal.  Now, all of my friends are married or on the cusp of being married, which normally is a great thing, but given my weekend no husband situation, was not.  One would think being alone meant the opportunity to take more photos.  One would be wrong.  Between giving the speech, running around to make sure Grace was okay, using the restroom, helping her in the restroom, talking to the MC/deejay, eating, feeling sorry for my loner self, and then also taking care of Jordan while my parents weren't (which wasn't even a lot since they were with him a lot), the night was over before I knew it.  So at least I didn't have to be a loner for long.  

 

our make-up is done and I think we're showing how buff we are.... ummm no comment.

the bridesmaids...

 

my hair from the back!

beautiful Arista Winery in Healdsburg

 My parents, me, and Jordan!

Julia, Jordan and me... he's tired, but if you put him down, he'd point to the dance floor and then motion for you to pick him up