Dear Random Street Bicyclists

There's nothing more disturbing to me than bicyclists on the road.  I really sincerely admire them and their spandex gear, simultaneously... I cannot stand them for being in my way on a populated street (say downtown) with cars parked and not very much room for them to ride by the parked cars and the moving cars (enter me).  Somehow, I always think they must have an expertise in identifying the gap they must reside in between the parked cars and me, but in reality, they probably have no idea and are veering way too close to me and a potential bad accident.

I'm never sure if I'm supposed to stay back, far enough that they have room on the road and face the anger of the cars in back of me as I roam slowly behind them or if my big mom van of a car will fit next to them.  The thoughts that enter my head upon seeing a bicyclist, especially if there are two or more of them (though more than five is okay, because then I can legitimately hold back for the entire crew of cyclers)  is always.. ugh, great.. stupid bicyclist... can't you find a trail or a bicycle lane?  Then, once I am next to them, all I'm thinking is... I'm going to inadvertently kill them, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness!... Most of the time, I change lanes but being the careful driver (okay not the greatest) that I am, if I need to turn right soon, I cannot afford to change lanes now!

When I used to drive a navy Jetta (because let's be real, I thought that would make me the cool Asian girl who drove the white German car and yes, I have since smartened up and loyally returned to the Japanese cars with awesome A/Cs that are not dang lemons), I accidentally almost ran into a bicyclist (but I was only going about 5-10 miles because of West LA traffic trying to get onto the freeway during morning rush hour) and the bicyclist banged on the rear of my car and screamed, "Watch it!"  I swear I didn't even see them.  Oops.  I tried to say sorry (okay, more like motion profusely through my illegally super tinted windows because again, I'm an LA suburb Asian and that's what we do) but I'm sure I just added to the growing stereotype of awful Asian drivers.  Oh well.  I'm okay with stereotypes that excuse me from stupidities.

Anyway.. the road is not a place for bicyclists.  If you are a bicyclist and think so, then we can disagree.  Find a trail.  Go to the mountains.  Just get out of my way.

Thank you.

Best wishes,

Asian Girl who cannot drive at her ultimate best when you are bicycling near me.