I Can't Sleep!

I can't sleep lately, my mind has been a whirlwind of new information and the adrenaline of processing and analyzing all the new terminology, scheduling, and homeschooling process as we attempt to do it through a public charter school which supports us, provides accountability and guidance, and most importantly... funding... is absolutely insane and wonderful all at once! 

I spent a few days just reading and reading through the MyTechHigh parent link, absorbing all the information, and then really trying to understand how the entire process works.  I joined facebook groups, read through posts and comments, and then did a bunch of research on my own online, talked to friends I have who homeschooled, and friends who were also planning to make the switch.  It's a new community I've suddenly become a part of and it's exciting, and scary, and fun - all at once!

It made me realize, I probably need to go back to work once my kids are done with school.  Or have a side hustle.  Or invest in a bunch of new hobbies.  Even though I have looked forward to the future two years ahead when I'd be able to leisurely dine with girlfriends over slow relaxing lunches, I hadn't really thought about the rest of my day, and what that might look like.  I've dived straight into maintaining our household routines and finances, but that only keeps me occupied for part of the day.  There's something magnetic and thrilling about this new adventure of homeschooling that has kept me awake at night (literally) and it feels like I'm pumped with caffeine (even though I don't drink any caffeine, not even diet soda). 

I have finally begun to use some of my abandoned skills from my working days in coming up with class descriptions for custom-built courses I am doing with my kids.  I have been trying to figure out a better excel workbook to track all the expenditures as well as the reimbursement and receipt process.  I have been joining zoom calls with Q&A, feeling like I'm in the work place again, and realizing I made a much larger sacrifice than I originally thought when I became a SAHM.  I do not have any regrets regarding my decisions, but I miss the high energy, demanding schedule and budget demands of my prior life.  Of course there's as balance, and I also don't miss the political drama or late nights, or when I messed up at work.  And I do love being able to sit in my pajamas until I feel like it, put make-up on whenever, take a nap here and there, clean my kitchen and watch my kids, etc. 

Perhaps I always was a bit curious about homeschooling, but never brave enough to attempt it.  The Covid-19 situation has really provided me with a new opportunity to try it, even if for a year, and I have no idea what will happen.  I may go insane the first day or week of homeschooling.  I may love AND hate it, which is the likely outcome, but I am super excited, as if I'm starting work at a new company, for the first time, so at least there's that.