Chinese Mom Say

I love my mom to pieces but more often than not, I am so glad she is my mother and not my mother-in-law (good luck future brother's wife).  My own mother-in-law is also Chinese, but having come to the US when she was 18 and having married a wonderful white man, she is unaccustomed to the Chinese ways that my mother still is so peculiar and particular about.

I talk to my mother everyday, sometimes more than three times in a day, and some days I want to hit myself on the forehead repeatedly.  Other days days I actually want to scream in rebellion.   But most days, I am becoming better at accepting her love (as weird as it may seem) and learning not to talk back (because it's not filial if I do).  Here are some of the things she says to me.

The following has been translated to English for your reading pleasure.

Your child is too skinny.  Don't you feed him anything?
Your child poops too much.  What are you feeding him?

Of course you think your child is cute, he's yours!
Your child is pretty cute, if I do say so myself.

Don't feed him chips!  That stuff is unhealthy and fattening.
Don't give him that, it's too oily!
Why is your son so skinny?  What are you feeding him?

You look dark.  Yellow.  Unhealthy.
Go get a facial.  I'm sending you face masks now.  They're in the mail.

Pull his legs straight or he'll be bowl legged.
Don't let him walk too much because his bones are still underdeveloped.

He can't eat popsicles!  Too cold!
He can't eat chicken nuggets!  Too hard to chew!
He likes ice cream?  You loved ice cream too!
He likes french fries?  Don't let him eat french fries!

What did Jordan eat today?  How many times did he poop today?
Wow he poops a lot.  He never stays still!  No wonder he's so skinny.

Are you making Andy and Jordan smoothies everyday?
Your house looks messy, have you been cleaning it?

Did you workout today?
You need to eat more, you're too skinny now.
Don't let yourself go!  Are you taking care of yourself?
Are you fat or skinny now?

Ever wonder why I am the way I am?  Well, now you know.  Wouldn't trade it for anything, Chinese moms are the best...even if they are quirky.

My Friday Night

I don't think there was ever a moment in my life when I thought, this Friday night, as I stay home to clean the bathroom, clear the dishes, reline the stove, make some kale chips, read a book, and use a facial mask, I will have the best night ever!  But here I am chips made (and eaten), bathroom cleaned, dishes and stove pending and face mask and book awaiting, and it feels amazing.

I think too often, we classify what is and isn't a fun Friday night activity based on what society tells is is supposed to be a Friday night.  I remember when I used to opt to stay in and read instead of party on a Friday night.  My friends would voice utter respect for my decision but then deem it "lame" outloud and proceed to convince me to do the same thing Sunday afternoon and go out with them instead.  But after a week of long hours and brain power used to create excel schedules and have difficult conversations, the leisurely Friday was often what I wanted and needed.  At the heart of things, I am a huge homebody.  I'm sure a lot of people would think of my Friday night as dull and even go so far as to feel sorry for me.  I likewise, have thought of those dolling up at 10 PM on a Friday night or going out to eat with friends as a lot of work (get dressed, are you serious?!)  To each their own though.

There are plenty of people who LOVE getting ready to go out when I'm getting ready to turn in, as there are tons of people who LOVE catching up on household items and curling up with a good book instead of venturing out into the unknown.  But I will admit, I did not think I'd be here and yet I am.  Maybe it's motherhood, maybe it's maturity, maybe it's borderline OCD.  You just never know.  *sigh. You just never know.

We're Not AS Young Anymore...

In the non-Momo world, it is very common for people to get married in their mid to late 20's.  So when I frequented my BFF's wedding this last weekend, it was indeed one of the last weddings out of my good friends (probably two more left) I would attend.  And guess what?  We're old now.

This is how I knew we were getting old.

1) Everyone is a couple.  In my mid 20's, weddings were a fun place to bring the someone you were serious with, but it was a rare thing.  To ask someone to a wedding was basically saying yes, I would marry you.  It's not a big deal anymore, everyone there at the wedding IS with their really significant other.  Crazy how fast that happened.

2) The music on the dance floor is from middle school, high school, college, and post-college/work life, but nothing is from the last year.  When listening to old songs, I commented, "dude, this song is old!" to which my friends responded, "No!  This was about 200....7"  My point exactly, that was a long time ago.  Was there any music from the current top 40 chart?  No sir. This is how we do it.  Too bad it wasn't Friday night.

3) The photobooth did not get used much.  When photobooths became a thing of weddings (maybe three to four years ago), we raided them like teenagers obsessed with Tiger Beat.  We got so much use out of the photobooth, it was almost embarrassing (almost) to see ourselves in every other photo once they were posted (who knew the couple got digital copies?).

We're still young (age is relative to me!) but we're definitely able to look back at events from 2007 and say, that was five years ago!  Anytime you can use a number like 5, 10, 20, 50... it feels like a long time ago.

Loner Me

Jordan and I just returned from a long weekend in the bay area and Sonoma County for my BFF's wedding.  It was a burning hot weekend without Andy which led me to better appreciate my husband's company at weddings.  My parents also came since they have known Grace for as long as me so I had a lot of help with Jordan while I was off with my bridal party responsibilities.  Alas, my plus one, Jordan, cute as he may be, cannot talk yet... so every time something funny happened or something noteworthy, I'd start to say something, look for a response - and whichever friend I was meaning to talk to, would be with their significant other or assume I wasn't talking to them (but hello, if not them then who?!).  After this happened about four times, I realized... nobody's listening to me, but I wouldn't give up and was met with continued disappointment known as one person conversations. They must have thought I was full of rhetorical questions this weekend.  No, they probably didn't hear me.  Everyone was with their dates and enjoying the photo booth, chip bar, or free flowing wine, and then there was lil ol' me, unsuccessfully trying to take photo booth photos with Jordan (huge fail), grabbing chips on my own and eating them by myself, and then walking around with Jordan on the dance floor (which he absolutely loved).  It reminded me a lot of eighth grade when my abnormal 5'7 height made it difficult for any of the guys to ask me for a dance.  Instead, I roamed around the refreshment table, slouched over, embarrassed of my towering height, longing for a handsome tall man to dance with. Not much has changed.

Jordan, on the other hand, didn't seem to notice Daddy was missing, until he saw him in the airport Sunday night and was all smiles and happiness.  But as for the weekend, he got so much attention from strangers, everyone at the wedding, and wai-puo and wai-gong, that he didn't even realize when Mommy was gone!  It wasn't until after my MOH speech that he seemed to want me, and I think that might have been just to sit at the head table so he could see everyone.  The dance floor was also a playground for him - he roamed the wooden floor before people began dancing and tapped the speakers, wondering where that music was coming from.  As the night progressed past his bedtime, he became tired but refused to rest and instead, reached out to everybody and anybody to hold him on the dance floor.  He just wanted to be in the mix. So you see, my date wasn't that into me.  


I remember there being a time when showing up at a wedding alone didn't seem as big of a deal.  Now, all of my friends are married or on the cusp of being married, which normally is a great thing, but given my weekend no husband situation, was not.  One would think being alone meant the opportunity to take more photos.  One would be wrong.  Between giving the speech, running around to make sure Grace was okay, using the restroom, helping her in the restroom, talking to the MC/deejay, eating, feeling sorry for my loner self, and then also taking care of Jordan while my parents weren't (which wasn't even a lot since they were with him a lot), the night was over before I knew it.  So at least I didn't have to be a loner for long.  

 

our make-up is done and I think we're showing how buff we are.... ummm no comment.

the bridesmaids...

 

my hair from the back!

beautiful Arista Winery in Healdsburg

 My parents, me, and Jordan!

Julia, Jordan and me... he's tired, but if you put him down, he'd point to the dance floor and then motion for you to pick him up

Out With The Old, In With The New

I've longed for a new dress for quite some time now.  When Andy graduated, I mulled over what type of new cute summer dress I'd wear, immortalized in all the family photos we'd take, worn in the sunny California weather with the backdrop of the beautiful USC campus.  Just darling!  Instead, I got too busy and too cheap to do any sort of shopping.  Add to that the fact that my days of a new outfit for every single new outing are long past me and all you have is lil ol' me with no new dresses.  Instead, now I'm looking towards how I can rearrange old pieces of clothing already in my existing wardrobe for a new outfit, accessorize, or better yet.... make two dresses into one new one?  DING DING DING!  We have a winner!  I tried the last option yesterday.  Keep in mind I am a new, novice, newbie, very inexperienced wannabe sewer.  So much so that Andy had to advise me the base has a detachable section which makes it capable to sew sleeves - no, I did not know and I sewed me sleeves together and sat there, taking them meticulously apart before redoing it again!

I have a bunch of old dresses I don't wear anymore - some because they are too short, some because they do not fit my now Mormon modesty standards, and some because they aren't as cute as they used to be.  I had been eyeing the "modestify your summer dresses" blog post from Sarah from her Welcome to the Good Life blog since Jordan was born - showing it to my mother-in-law, who was staying with us at the time, and is an amazing seamstress.  For the wedding I'm in this weekend, I had envisioned adding sleeves - but the dress was a lot more bare than I thought - and my mother-in-law saved the day by making me a cute lil matching jacket from extra material J. Crew sent me (after many complaints and e-mails).  I couldn't do it for my bridesmaid dress but I wanted something cute for the rehearsal dinner and I didn't want to layer any of my existing dresses because it's going to be hot in Napa Valley! and let's be honest, it's not 1993 and a t-shirt underneath a spaghetti strap dress isn't as cute as it was when Monica wore it on Friends back then.  In her blog posts, Sarah always talks about how her projects are for beginners, but might I just add - there should be a category for pre-beginner because that's where I was yesterday!  The project took me a sincere two and a half hours - including cutting, sewing, un-sewing, re-sewing, un-sewing, re-sewing, etc.  Alas, I have a new dress - no, it wasn't free given the time spent on it, but come to think of it - I don't have the luxury of time to shop on my own anymore... Jordan makes it very hard to get any shopping done, sure he's content for about twenty minutes, but I've always liked shopping alone and he cramps my style.

 

Ya'll Come Back Now

For the last couple of weeks, I have been quite busy with a lot of bachelorette party preparations for my BFF.  All the time while I was making matching "Don't Mess with Grace" party t-shirts, putting together party favors, preparing the ice breaker games, and grabbing old photos for a slideshow, I couldn't help but worry about the bachelorette party itself.

I wasn't always Mormon.  I had a pretty typical childhood, teenage life, and college experience and so my 20's were for the most part, full of the work hard play hard mentality. There's a popular saying from an LDS talk about a father telling his daughter to remember who she was.  And to be honest, I wondered if I would remember.  I had nightmares about breaking the Word of Wisdom where I'd take just a sip of some pretty tropical (and probably tasty with all that sugar!) drink adorned with a bright festive umbrella, and then I'd wake up and think that was out there and instead worry about what I'd wear when we went out, or if someone (like the old me) would tell me I wasn't dressed appropriately for the occasion.  And then, of course, I also had worries about how the games would go - if they'd think they were stupid, if they'd be bored, or if they'd wish I'd just stop with it all.  Silly things looking back now, but at the time - they were real concerns that I thought about constantly.  I prayed a lot about the weekend, asking for strength where I would not be strong enough, and for a good time bonding with girls, and for my scripture studying, I focused on my testimony and some talks about not looking back (or you'd turn into a pillar of salt! - remember Lot's wife?).  I didn't want to feel outcasted as the uptight religious Mormon girl nor did I want to feel like I had to remind everyone I did not drink, smoke, or wear short dresses.  I just wanted to have fun while being myself, not feel pressured, and be confident with the changes in my life.

Then Friday came and I was off for the weekend.  My first time away from Jordan for more than eight hours and overnight too.  I didn't know what to expect.  I didn't know half the girls who were coming though I had heard many stories about them over the last eight years.  I didn't know how hot it'd be.

The weekend turned out to be amazingly awesome.  Never did I feel alone or judged for not drinking or for what I wore.  Never did I feel criticized for staying in Friday night (I was tired, needed a shower, and hadn't yet studied my scriptures) or for not smoking after a meal (in fact, Wendy and I got to hang out as the odd women out).  Never did I wish I was home (despite missing Jordan and Andy a lot) and never was I bored.  What I did wish for was less heat, less humidity, more air conditioning, and more time!


The weekend was successfully fun.  I got to shop for five hours, finish a book, read some trashy celeb magazines, see my college and old firm buddy, Gena - who was driving through Austin on her way back to Dallas, eat a delicious BBQ chicken meal, walk around all night in flip-flops and a cowboy hat, and talk until 5 AM with two girls I've known for more than 20 years only to then wake up a little over 4 hours for Church completely refreshed and not one bit tired until the plane ride home where I got to sleep for as long as I wanted!  It was indeed fun and felt like I was high on life, but I doubt I had enough to keep me going all weekend long.   I know I am not that awesome and that the Lord had a hand in helping me out, and I'm very grateful for that.  

All the girls in our "Don't Mess with Grace" shirts (made by yours truly) in front of our haunted but legendary hotel, the Driskill, in downtown Austin!

 I blinged the hat and added a veil, should have made her wear a different colored shirt that said "I'm Grace" because EVERYONE kept asking us who Grace was.  

 Waiting to eat a scrumptious meal at Moonshine.... the place has awesome BBQ sauce with a kick in it, and we got some free bread pudding with ice cream (everything's bigger in Texas too!) for the bachelorette!

 These are my Arcadia buddies since the 90's.

 Yeah, don't mess with Grace or I'll shoot you with this gun plastered to the wall!

Our room of girls - Wendy made us do this and yes, we know we're in Texas, not Hawaii.

The best part?  I get to see everyone in exactly one week for the wedding.  

Work Life Flexibility, a Fraud at Most...?

I love the Power of Moms, and today I just had another article posted... one that is very close to my heart as I tried for so many years to achieve work-life balance, only to fall short myself and realize... le sigh, time to just be flexible and call it a day.  Work-life balance is never truly achievable... read on to find out why... and how that even pertains to motherhood!

Flexibility is the New Balance