Wednesday, January 22, 2020

New Year, New Me!

Just kidding, same old me.  Just more tired, waiting for those white hairs to show up, with a bit saggier skin and more crows feet than the year before.  I love goal making, so I always make big grand goals, and I always fail to meet them, but over the years, I manage to accomplish something.  The key is, I never compare to anyone else, just myself, and if I've improved a bit, then hooray!

I spent most of 2018 taking back my home.  I became sick of the piled up diaper boxes, kid toys, and wipes and trash that seemed to take over our home.  I started seeking out the Marie Kondo in more depth than originally (originally I scoffed at how anyone could realistically do that with kids) by actually reading the book and starting to go through some of her categories.  It was a slow arduous process, but over the course of the year, I managed to get into every single room, closet, space, corner, you name it.

So then in 2019, I wanted to take back my body.  Start to work out more consistently and eat better.  I'd say I'm better than I was in 2018, but not sure I actually accomplished my goal for 2019 to get my body back.  It's back, but it's still postpartum back.  I'll take a look at the ten year differences for people like Khloe Kardashian (hint: she is 5'10 and lost about 40 pounds and look amazing but also eats like nothing and works out all the time... not sure how realistic that is for myself) and think I need to do this again, but then a whiff of some McDonald's fries, and I'm back in my happy medium. My pants fit, even if there's a tiny shroom on top, the big shirt covers it, and I'm okay.

So now that 2020 has rolled around, I've been all consumed about taking back my mind.  I'm trying to read more, and everyone has told me to listen to audiobooks, but I just love reading words and slowly hearing the words in my mind.  There's something about actually taking in the words that I love, so even though I'll do podcasts for some things that are fun to listen to, I still enjoy the act of seeing the words and processing them that way.  Along with taking back my mind, I'm trying to do some tutorial videos in line with my work at my mom's school, Breakthrough Training Center.  I've got some exciting ideas, and am really looking forward to producing some hopefully useful content.  And then, out of nowhere, I also decided I wanted to stretch everyday and finally try to do the splits.  My entire life, I've had two resolutions over and over, and I've never managed to get there.  One is not biting my nails, and the other is doing the splits.  I've had spurts of pretty nails, but it never seems to last more than a month, and I'd like to get to the point where I can get a beautiful manicure and say, look at my beautiful hands.  As for the splits, the closest I got was after a year of the dance team in high school, but then I didn't do it my senior year, and well... the closest I ever got was 1999.

I know some people are scared of "resolutions."  There's been so much talk about changing the way you look at resolutions, making it a habit instead of a goal, but to me, it's all the same thing.  I make resolutions all throughout the year.  All throughout my life.  How else will I change and grow and improve myself?  I've been goal setting for years, failing, falling short, but still growing even if in tiny bits.  I think resolutions are great.  And I don't think you need to reword it to reframe your mind, as long as you realize you're probably not gonna get there right away, and you're probably not gonna reach your goal, and fall short of it instead, but that's still better than status quo.

Happy New Year!