It Might Sound Crazy... but....

The adversary is REALLY out to get us.

I've been trying my best to ensure I am ready to defeat opposition leading up to our wedding day but it seems like every corner I turn, a lot of "stuff" keeps happening. Everything seems to be getting harder at work. Deadlines seem to be piling on and in the midst of our big annual budget, I am asked to go out of town for a seemingly useless training on the east coast. I want to scream "that's not fair!" but then I remember that life is not always fair and cope. Simple lists of mine seem to grow by the second and items are constantly rolling over into the next day. Work days have become longer and difficult conversations with my parents have become more superfluous as I try to compromise their expectations with my hopes. What was once a nonchalant attitude towards multitasking and prioritizing has become laced with stress and tension. My patience has been tried repeatedly and I notice little things perturbing me. And then I stop and pray. Or I stop and read. And then I am calm. I'm reminded of why praying constantly is so important and no circumstance or location seems unfit for a quick prayer.

I guess I had anticipated the attacks from the adversary to come from elsewhere. I hadn't anticipated this type of struggle. We had shielded ourselves with simple but strict rules...rules that our other friends might poke fun at and laugh at .. but rules that we took seriously. Rules that included... no open mouth kissing, no hanging out alone past 11:30 PM, and no spooning. So many blessings have been noted from these self imposed rules such as confidence in our affection for one another, clearly understood without the confusion of physical feelings and a solid relationship focused on much more than butterflies in our stomachs. But really, the adversary found another way to attack us and knew we had weaknesses elsewhere that could be manipulated. Instead, the adversary decided to attack us where we least expected. Instead, the adversary got creative. Instead, the perfect storm was created.

As much as I want to do it all and carry myself out of the thunder and rain, I'm learning to say no and I'm learning to ask for help. I'm learning that God listens to me and sends me angels in all shapes and forms.. because sometimes, an umbrella isn't enough for a storm. Sometimes, you need rain boots, a great raincoat, and a friend to hold your hand as you leap across the puddles and anticipate the rainbow at the end of the storm.

Compare and Contrast

So often, I hear other converts share about how life was awful before they were LDS and life without the spirit was plain dreadful. So often, these powerful compare and contrast moments bring tears to the eyes of those sharing and listening to such powerful testimonies. As of late, I have thought about the contrasting moments in my own life, and to be honest... I don't remember much of what it was like before. I don't remember much of how life was without the spirit and I don't really want to. Instead, I want to remember what life is with the spirit and strengthen my testimony of the good. And I don't think revisiting the bad will help me with that.

So I write about moments when the spirit is strong. I write about moments when I know Heavenly Father is speaking to me. I write about moments when my testimony is strengthened. I write about moments when I have confirmation of how powerful prayer is. I write about moments when scripture study is moving my world. I write about moments when I am challenged but my faith perseveres. I write about moments when I feel a tender mercy. I write about moments when I share the gospel with others.

And I realized... I haven't written on this blog for a while. So although there's no real transition to my story, here goes nothing.

I've been thinking a lot about the compare and contrast principle. Of how misery enables us to feel joy. And oddly enough, I started to think about cold and hot weather. I thought... how amusing that Andy used to wear shorts in high school even though he went to high school in Salt Lake. And now, acquainted with the LA weather, he doesn't seem able to bear the cold as he once did. On the other hand, my brother, an LA boy, had spent all year in New York for school and subsequently, came home for winter break, undaunted by the cold LA nights because it was so much warmer than New York!

This taught me that environments are important because whatever environment we're placed in, we, as human beings, adapt. And what was hot before... might be warm now... what was cold before.. might be warm now. And similar to my feelings of wanting to always be reminded of the good moments, I also want to ensure I'm always in an environment that is uplifting, edifying and spiritually energized. I want to be in a place where I'm always keeping the commandments and always worthy of the Spirit. And I want to be in a place where not doing so has becomes a distant memory. In other words, my spiritual equilibrium is set at high and I will not tolerate anything less. Even if the world becomes "too cold" or "too hot" by temporal means, I will always have my gospel standards and always keep the commandments given to protect me and ultimately, never adjust for the world. The only adjustment I will make is towards God and the Son, not away.

So how do I do that? I guess... with the simple things.

Daily prayer and scripture study. I start and end my day with both - and it's become a shield for the ways of the world. It continually gives me strength to remember my Savior, His teachings and Heavenly Father's continual prophetic counseling and messaging. And in times where I might be susceptible to the ways of the world, when people are joking about inappropriate things at work, or when the radio has a song that offends the Spirit and me, it's like my daily studying and prayer give me the ammunition and power to just ignore it or turn it off. And I am reminded "that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise," (Alma 37:6).

Pictures Sometimes Speak More Than Words

Cheap Sell for Self

In an effort to make some money and clean my wardrobe of my immodest dresses, I made a website that I'm going to post on Craig's List every week and am hoping to have it spread like wildfire on facebook this weekend. If you have any friends who do not dress by LDS modesty standards, please suggest this website to them so I can sell my clothes and make a few bucks before donating it all.

http://beemineclothing.blogspot.com

Such a Sloth!

I've made it one of my top priorities to scripture study in the morning. Usually, this attempt falls short and I end up trying to study a bit in the bus. Other times, I'm semi-successful but not consistent enough and end up studying right before bed. The only problem with that option is that an intended half hour of study time turns into an hour long battle of resisting the temptation to fall asleep, nodding off, and pushing myself to wake up and feast upon the words of Christ.

I wish I woke up and studied this morning. Instead, I lay in bed, texted my boyfriend, read some work e-mails (they start coming around 4 AM), talked to my mom, and enjoyed the warmth of my four blankets in the freezing cold house. Currently, at a quarter from 1 AM, I consider myself such a sloth because I put myself in this situation and when things happen, and scripture study hasn't been done.... you end up studying at 12 AM on a school night! Eeek!

Elder Holland once said, " True love blooms when we care more about another person than we care about ourselves." I think I might have found some buds of true love blooming and if I have.. it may have distracted me long enough to 100% note what was happening around me. Tonight, as Andy was driving me back from his house (a rather unusual and kind gesture for someone who has a strict 10 PM curfew when our 10 miles apart equals a 25-30 minute drive each way), his car broke down. Immediately, I started to think about what to do. We were so close to my house, he could leave his car - take my brother's car (was it fixed yet though?!) and we could worry about his car over the weekend. Or, he could take my car and I could take the bus tomorrow. But tomorrow is my weekly Temple night to do baptisms for the dead and I still haven't figured out how to take the bus to the LA Temple. So, maybe I could take my brother's car and he could - what about Triple A? Did Andy have a card? As these possible resolutions flew through my head, I worried. Frantically, I wondered... what was wrong with his car?! Was it safe for him to drive home if he tried to?!

"You should pull over" I suggested. He agreed immediately and slowed down... and the car continued in its funk while I continued to run through potential solutions.

How does something like this happen out of nowhere? I suppose it is a used car that has problems with some random tooting (albeit I haven't heard it lately), some maintenance lights that never turn off and a constant break light that periodically decides to work. We pulled into a parking lot and Andy got out to check the car by opening the hood of the car. I sat there in the passenger seat with a plate of sugar cookies we had made wondering if I should call my parents to come help us. It was pretty safe where we were but with Andy's strict 10 PM curfew, this might pose a problem as we had planned out him driving me home to meet said curfew.

"Should I call Triple A?" I asked. No response. He muttered something about finding something in his trunk and went towards it. Oddly, I recalled him not wanting me to put my backpack into the trunk earlier because his golf clubs were in there. And... at the time, I had wondered why that mattered since his golf clubs usually sat in his trunk alongside other things before.. but had shrugged it off, giving him the benefit of the doubt that maybe his golf clubs were misplaced and took up a lot more room than usual. He walked back to the trunk of the car and continued examining the inside of the car hood.

And then... it clicked. I surveyed the lot quickly - we were in the parking lot of the Church where we had our first DTR. He had offered me a ride home (not that he wouldn't normally, just that logistically it doesn't quite make sense on a school night). He had turned on a different street than our normal route - and when he did it, I thought it odd for a brief second but figured he wanted to avoid the Huntington split road turns (which now that I think about it, makes no sense). I tried with all my might to repress the grin that was beginning to sneak across my face at the realization of what COULD be happening, but I couldn't help it. Wait a minute Daisy! - I told myself... remember when you over thought things and had an inkling he might ask you something important when he suggested you go to a driving range this past weekend and then he changed his mind? Stop! I kept reminding myself. As my mind scattered through a million thoughts and as I reassured myself to stop grinning in case nothing was happening, he asked me if I could get help retrieve a tool from his trunk.

I knew it! Wait.. do I play along... do I respond? Do I give him a hard time? Truth be told - I wasn't 100% but I was ... 99.9%? .... but wait!!!... I'm wearing basketball shorts! Okay, in that nanosecond, I knew it wasn't happening. Earlier in the night, I had asked to borrow basketball shorts so I could change out of my work skirt and comfortably eat dinner and bake cookies while at his apartment. Convinced there was absolutely no way he would let me wear his baby blue basketball shorts paired with tights (it's pretty cold in LA lately!) and heels, I got up and walked towards the trunk.

"Look under the bag," he told me. As I lifted the trunk, there was a trash bag carefully placed across his trunk space. I peeled it away to reveal a MOUND of graham crackers and some sprinkled pieces of chocolate over it. [So... we have these corny nicknames for each other - and among the many, we joked about being smores for Halloween - he'd be the crackers and I'd be the marshmallows. Then, the bay bridge went out and our Halloween plans were disrupted. So for Christmas, I got an uber cute stuffed marshmellow with graham cracker velcro-ed to it made by his wonderfully crafty and creative sister! along with a poem that actually rhymed and detailed how we met, how we got to know each other and why the stuffed smore was cool and representative of us...] So... he continued the extended metaphor and likened us to the smore and how we could complete each other (if you don't like smores.. this won't make sense).

And so.. the lesson learned is....if I had not been such a sloth, had studied in the morning, I could have come home, excitedly shared the news with my mom, best friend, and other awesome friends, journaled, and gotten ready for bed. Instead, after all of the aforementioned, I still had scripture study to do. In the spirit of tonight's excitement, I picked two talks about marriage. Next time, I'll remember why it's important to scripture study in the morning.. because you never know when an important question might come at night. ... that keeps you up longer than you expected.

As I studied tonight, these words hit me hard. "To give ourselves totally to another person, as we do in marriage, is the most trusting step we take in any human relationship. It is a real act of faith--faith all of us must be willing to exercise. If we do it right, we end up sharing everything--all our hopes, all our fears, all our dreams, all our weaknesses, and all our joys--with another person." (Elder Holland) So, without denying my lard -like qualities and continuing to work at making my morning study happen, I will not be able to grow in faith and faith is something I should always be working at increasing - especially since I just made the next most important decision of my life (the first was accepting the Gospel).

Good night. Sweet dreams.

Good Habits Are Formed Young

Once upon a time, there lived two princesses by the name of Princess McKissick and Princess Lo. Although they had never met, they were second cousins who shared lots of things in common.

Both were the first grandchildren, both had a sparkle in their eye, both had a twinkle in their toe and both had a smile that could melt anyone's heart. On top of that, both princesses loved their princess toys, many of which their loving grandparents, uncles, aunts, and second cousins had given to them.

One day, both princesses left their kingdoms and went forth into the PhilGood Kingdom to ring in the new year. They had heard stories about each other, but had never met, and despite knowing they were related to one another, had no recollection of the other.

Alas, they finally met, in the PhilGood Kingdom, but were hesitant to meet one another. Instead, they retreated to their own corners, hiding their princess faces, and refusing to interact with one another. Upon the demands of their other cousins, they found themselves forced to sit and play with one another. As they sat down in front of a princess set, both played alone. They were together but apart. No interactions with each other had been made. They continued. Then, as they both reached for the same princess toy, a mutter of "my princess" was heard by all in the kingdom and within nanoseconds, tears welled up in both their eyes as they cried "my princess!"

Nearby, there was some jesters, who baffled and afraid of the dismay, just watched. And then, the eye of the storm closed its eye and slowly, the jesters devised a sneaky plan. They would distract the princesses, tell them of another fun game, and escape the princess territory distinctions. They would distract both princesses with a game of Candyland (really a much more simple and eventually boring game than you may recall from childhood).

A game they had. Connect they did. Friendship did they make. And the rest ... is history.

The rest of the night was spent battling dragons with the help of a courageous prince over... and over... and over... and wait... over again.

And together they became great princess friends. And learned to share with one another when told to do so by their mothers. And learned to sit quietly during a game of White Elephant even if their princess toys might get stolen. And they got along spectacularly!! ... At least until one of them criied again. It must be contagious. And last but not least, I leave you with lessons learned from the princesses.

1) Support each other... even if it's just up the stairs.















2) Sharing is caring.














3) Learn from others.














4) Sometimes....guys just get in the way!

I'm Over The Overs

When I used to tell my brother about guys I was dating, he would always mutter "Don't overthink it." I would claim I wasn't, continue with my stories, asking him if I should text back, call back, or not respond.... A couple seconds would go by and he'd normally say... "You're over analyzing now!" Then, as if not enough, he would then tell me I was over reacting if I tried to rebutt him. I've often thought about those three "overs" that girls are so easily accused of (yeah, it's not just me... don't deny it!). It must not be our fault, it must be built into our systems and if systematically plugged into our very being, how can we deny such feelings of overness?

Yesterday, I took a chance, without much thought and found myself in an "over" situation. In a last minute, gut driven, instinctive reaction, I jumped at the opportunity to stay another night in Salt Lake for a generous flight voucher since my flight was overbooked. As I observed the exhausted families, eagerly awaiting to board their plane, I realized my single status was exceptionally advantageous in this precise situation. Seconds later, I was on my way to the nearby hotel to spend the night.

I forgot it was the Sabbath and alone, refusing to turn on the television and instead retreating to scripture study and journaling, I wondered what else I could do in a suite hotel room (get it.. sweet) by myself. A friend messaged me out of nowhere, telling me he recently had surgery. We're not really close, so I forgot what his surgery was for despite him mentioning it to me a few months earlier. Immediately, I overreacted and wondered why he was messaging me of all people. Are we that close? I thought. Then, I overanalyzed, wondering if I had somehow led him to think we were better friends than I initially presumed. I was basically overthinking it.

I did what anyone would do. I asked him if he was okay. I asked him how it went. He told me there were complications. I inquired more about what it was that was wrong, what the surgery was for, and before I knew it... I blurted, "Do you want a priesthood blessing?" I quickly added, "do you know what that is? ....I know you don't believe, but...." and he responded that he was okay but that he really appreciated it.

Over?.....

The next thing I knew, he was sending me the transcript of his surgery. A bit odd... I'm unsure why this was... but my immediate reaction was exactly that... hmmm, how odd! Unsure what to do, I read the script. And in it, I noticed, the surgeons said a prayer. They didn't end it in the name of Jesus Christ, rather they said in your name Lord...Amen... So, it was a prayer of sorts.

Intrigued. Prompted. Responding.....

"So.. the priesthood blessing.. it's not like they bless you and you're okay..." I stammered, "sometimes, if it's not the Lord's will, something we can't understand, maybe the person praying won't ask for you to be restored to health, just that you understand or whatever..." because somehow I didn't want him to think that I thought him getting a blessing would mean he'd be healed immediately, but then... I realized, wow, this is it - yet another opportunity to share the gospel.... so I continued, "cuz not anyone can give a priesthood blessing, it is men who hold the priesthood (no, I was not going to get into the Aaronic vs the Melchizedek) who are worthy of giving a blessing, meaning they are living their lives, keeping the commandments, etc."... man! was I struggling!

"I appreciate the offer, really," he responded.

The conversation ensued.

We talked about life. He asked me about New Year's. I told him I had an awesome time in Utah and in fact, was still there!

And then, out of nowhere, he asked, "so I can let you know if I wanna do that thing?" Priesthood blessing?!" I asked, but in a much more nonchalant tone, if that is attainable over the internet...
"Ok" he responded. Pause. "You've turned out to be a good friend," he said.

So, maybe sometimes it's good to avoid the "overs" and just think to the Lord and be a good disciple. I know Christ would never have thought... why is SHE touching me? Does she think I like her? hehe.. which is kinda what I thought at first... even if I didn't say it explicitly above. Prideful, I know, but alas, I'm over the overs and now. Instead, I will just aim to see the opportunity in every situation that presents itself to me.