When I was finally old enough to use the bathroom on my own, I would often spend a long time washing my hands. I was mesmerized with the soap. I would lather my hands so much that if I clenched my fingers together in a prayer like gesture, and then slowly released my thumbs and pointer finger carefully, I could create a HUGE bubble and then just stare at the rainbow of colors swirling around. I would pop the bubble by bringing my fingers too far apart, start over and make another bubble. It absolutely fascinated me.
Likewise, I would get a bottle of Elmer's white school glue, put a big blob of it on my hand and just wait patiently. If I waited long enough for it to dry, I could peel it off carefully and somehow, this was entertainment to me. I did it over and over again, always looking forward to the dry glue I'd get to peel off.
At work, I often mutter to myself outloud. Those who have worked with me long enough know this and make a note of it to the more novice team members around. "She just talks to herself every now and then," one staff assured the other. I guess I do... just never realized it. I do the same thing when I'm on my own grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning,, etc. One might observe me from afar and think I have an imaginary friend or something along those lines.
So it leads me to wonder... what will my kid be like? Will he also pick up my weird ways or will he come up with his own?
Isn't it interesting that we're all created with so many different talents, challenges, and situations... yet ultimately, we are all loved the same, regardless of how different we are? How sweet it is to have a loving Heavenly Father who does not think of the weird things we do, but instead looks to our efforts as well as our works.
I hope I am able to remember that when future kids do some weird things. They may pick up on some of my habits.. or Andy's... or the rest of the family. Who knows?! Oh well, it's just the weird things we do that make us who we are. And really, they aren't that weird after all.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
The Asian Drying Rack
I first learned how to use a dishwasher a few years ago when I was living in San Jose for a short term assignment in my own sweet Corporate living space. The sad thing about that? Not only was I in my mid 20's, but my best friend, who had also learned a few years earlier, had to teach me. You see, growing up, both of us came from Asian families who rarely used the dishwasher the proper way - to clean dishes. Instead, it was a very appropriate and large drying rack - to dry dishes already washed, used daily and only used the way it was intended for special occasions (think large parties with many guests and no paperware).
These days, I have begun to understand why that practice is actually useful. With only two of us in the family, using the dishwasher means waiting almost a week before it's full. Meanwhile, we are without certain utensils and drinking glasses, and after a few breakfasts, most bowls. So recently, I've concluded the Asian drying rack is back in our house and have been using it to dry things. The only exception for the dishwasher is when we have guests over and a lot of dishes are loaded into the dishwasher at once.
Doesn't it just tickle you funny that old tricks can become new ones? That things we once knew, but maybe did not think much about, can emerge as you naturally realize it just makes sense? That is how the Gospel is to me. It's as if I have always felt a closeness to God and Jesus Christ but never really knew why. It's as if I have always known what is right and what is wrong but of course, can justify either or. It's as if I have always known life had more purpose than eat, drink and be merry but wasn't sure if I wanted to accept that. It's as if I knew I once lived with Heavenly Father, but acknowledging it would mean so much more responsibility than before. It's as if the Gospel and everything it stands for was just a reflection on a mirror standing right before me... but a mirror just a little dusty and grimy, one I had to polish before seeing clearly. But the reflection was always there... I just couldn't see it completely until now. So I suppose it's not really as if, but it actually is indeed.
These days, I have begun to understand why that practice is actually useful. With only two of us in the family, using the dishwasher means waiting almost a week before it's full. Meanwhile, we are without certain utensils and drinking glasses, and after a few breakfasts, most bowls. So recently, I've concluded the Asian drying rack is back in our house and have been using it to dry things. The only exception for the dishwasher is when we have guests over and a lot of dishes are loaded into the dishwasher at once.
Doesn't it just tickle you funny that old tricks can become new ones? That things we once knew, but maybe did not think much about, can emerge as you naturally realize it just makes sense? That is how the Gospel is to me. It's as if I have always felt a closeness to God and Jesus Christ but never really knew why. It's as if I have always known what is right and what is wrong but of course, can justify either or. It's as if I have always known life had more purpose than eat, drink and be merry but wasn't sure if I wanted to accept that. It's as if I knew I once lived with Heavenly Father, but acknowledging it would mean so much more responsibility than before. It's as if the Gospel and everything it stands for was just a reflection on a mirror standing right before me... but a mirror just a little dusty and grimy, one I had to polish before seeing clearly. But the reflection was always there... I just couldn't see it completely until now. So I suppose it's not really as if, but it actually is indeed.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Nightmare in Atlanta
Sometimes, we think the Spirit is talking to us. Most times, we are unsure if it's the Spirit or ourselves. Sometimes, we should listen more closely. Most times, we only recognize it was the Spirit afterwards.
Yesterday, I had a flight at 2:20 PM from Los Angeles to Atlanta for a two day training, instructing on the new database the Firm uses. Upon remembering part of my weekend would be spent travelling, I was ridden with disappointment. Since Andy is on a new rotation, he had only one day off per week and luckily for us, it lands on a Sunday for the entire 6 weeks. A red eye flight was out of the question since Atlanta was so far east and I was instructing versus participating.
So after two hours of Church on Sunday, Andy and I begrudgingly returned home to grab my stuff and head to the airport. While in the car, I noticed a flurry of emails from the other instructors noting a bunch of flights had been cancelled flying out to Atlanta. Hopeful that my flight might also be cancelled, I checked when we got home and sadly, it was still on time. We googled Atlanta weather and cancelled flights, noting due to severe weather a lot of flights had been delayed or cancelled....but apparently, not mine! So off we went to the airport and along the way, I kept calling the Delta helpline, asking if the flight "might" get cancelled. Success was not mine.
Once at the airport, I just had a bad feeling - a gut instinct you could say. Angry passengers ubiquitously filled the waiting areas complaining loudly about their cancelled flights and current ongoing attempts to get onto another flight. I sat there, still hanging on to the hope that my flight might get cancelled and that I might be able to spend the rest of Sunday at home with Andy. Again, to no avail, the flight continued to show as "on time." Simultaneously, the baby was going insane inside with kicks. He just kept kicking me! I tried to find a secluded seat and pray for help, for any guidance on whether I should just go home or wait to take the potential flight. I justified that if not all the learners or instructors arrived in Atlanta, then I might not be needed. I then justified that if the training was delayed for any reason, there was no way I could extend my travels to Wednesday. I paced around the airport, texted Andy with updates and got my hopes up when they changed us to another gate without a plane. In a few minutes, they clarified that we were still at the same gate and before I knew it, our flight was boarding.
Once on board, the flight attendants made a pregnant girl cry. They told her that her purple bag should be taken up the aisle (where passengers were still boarding) to find more overhead space, and then upon not finding any, they asked her for her seat ticket which was all the way back at her seat about 5 aisles from the last row. Frustrated and on the verge of tears, she marched back to her seat to get the ticket, brought it back to the flight attendant at the front of the plane, outraged by why a silly ticket was needed to check her bag! The flight attendant apologized but confirmed it was just procedure but the pregnant girl stormed back to her seat, and tears burst out. It wasn't fair! First, she had to travel on a Sunday, next her flight didn't get cancelled, and now, the stupid flight attendant took her bag and she would have to pick it up at the baggage claim. What was the point of packing light?!
After I calmed down from the hormonal uproar, I felt bad for the girl sitting next to me who just watched me cry unceasingly for about 10 minutes during takeoff.
During the flight, something with the main cabinet electronics went wrong and the sound and screen went out. This was not a good sign, in fact it was an omen of what was to happen. We landed safely, but my adventure had just begun. Luckily, another co-instructor was on the same flight, because had he not been, I am unsure where I would have spent the night.
We received word from the other instructors who had landed earlier that there were no longer anymore taxis on the street. We obtained my luggage, headed for the MARTA (Atlanta's public transportation train station) and waited for a train in the cold. Then, the train came and we got on. But then the train stopped and we waited for 10 minutes before we were told to get off. Then, we waited in the cold again for another 15 minutes until another train came. Then, we got onto the train to our transfer station and then we waited another 10 minutes. Then, when we finally got to our exit.... the fun really began. Imagine a street of all white snow and some mere footsteps and two lines on the floor where our luggage was being pulled. That was us for two blocks... it seemed so close, yet so far... and yet more white and more white. I can't imagine how the pioneers did it - I walked two blocks and my fingers were frozen when we finally arrived and I thought I would get frostbite (yes, I'm paranoid).
I knew I shouldn't have come to Atlanta! My nightmare in Atlanta might have been avoided had I listened more closely to the Spirit, except I couldn't quite distinguish what was the Spirit and what was me making excuses not to go. Oddly enough, I don't think it mattered much because when I didn't feel the Spirit confirm to me that I should leave and go home, it was still safe because at least I had the co-worker to lead me to the hotel. Had he not been on my flight, I'm unsure where I would have ended up or if I would have known what to do once the taxis were not available! So I guess my nightmare in Atlanta wasn't THAT bad. Although, once at the hotel, I didn't sleep well either. So I guess that's when the real nightmare happened because 5 hours later, I am teaching a class of 54 with 3 other instructors and I am kind of tired. Just slightly.
Yesterday, I had a flight at 2:20 PM from Los Angeles to Atlanta for a two day training, instructing on the new database the Firm uses. Upon remembering part of my weekend would be spent travelling, I was ridden with disappointment. Since Andy is on a new rotation, he had only one day off per week and luckily for us, it lands on a Sunday for the entire 6 weeks. A red eye flight was out of the question since Atlanta was so far east and I was instructing versus participating.
So after two hours of Church on Sunday, Andy and I begrudgingly returned home to grab my stuff and head to the airport. While in the car, I noticed a flurry of emails from the other instructors noting a bunch of flights had been cancelled flying out to Atlanta. Hopeful that my flight might also be cancelled, I checked when we got home and sadly, it was still on time. We googled Atlanta weather and cancelled flights, noting due to severe weather a lot of flights had been delayed or cancelled....but apparently, not mine! So off we went to the airport and along the way, I kept calling the Delta helpline, asking if the flight "might" get cancelled. Success was not mine.
Once at the airport, I just had a bad feeling - a gut instinct you could say. Angry passengers ubiquitously filled the waiting areas complaining loudly about their cancelled flights and current ongoing attempts to get onto another flight. I sat there, still hanging on to the hope that my flight might get cancelled and that I might be able to spend the rest of Sunday at home with Andy. Again, to no avail, the flight continued to show as "on time." Simultaneously, the baby was going insane inside with kicks. He just kept kicking me! I tried to find a secluded seat and pray for help, for any guidance on whether I should just go home or wait to take the potential flight. I justified that if not all the learners or instructors arrived in Atlanta, then I might not be needed. I then justified that if the training was delayed for any reason, there was no way I could extend my travels to Wednesday. I paced around the airport, texted Andy with updates and got my hopes up when they changed us to another gate without a plane. In a few minutes, they clarified that we were still at the same gate and before I knew it, our flight was boarding.
Once on board, the flight attendants made a pregnant girl cry. They told her that her purple bag should be taken up the aisle (where passengers were still boarding) to find more overhead space, and then upon not finding any, they asked her for her seat ticket which was all the way back at her seat about 5 aisles from the last row. Frustrated and on the verge of tears, she marched back to her seat to get the ticket, brought it back to the flight attendant at the front of the plane, outraged by why a silly ticket was needed to check her bag! The flight attendant apologized but confirmed it was just procedure but the pregnant girl stormed back to her seat, and tears burst out. It wasn't fair! First, she had to travel on a Sunday, next her flight didn't get cancelled, and now, the stupid flight attendant took her bag and she would have to pick it up at the baggage claim. What was the point of packing light?!
After I calmed down from the hormonal uproar, I felt bad for the girl sitting next to me who just watched me cry unceasingly for about 10 minutes during takeoff.
During the flight, something with the main cabinet electronics went wrong and the sound and screen went out. This was not a good sign, in fact it was an omen of what was to happen. We landed safely, but my adventure had just begun. Luckily, another co-instructor was on the same flight, because had he not been, I am unsure where I would have spent the night.
We received word from the other instructors who had landed earlier that there were no longer anymore taxis on the street. We obtained my luggage, headed for the MARTA (Atlanta's public transportation train station) and waited for a train in the cold. Then, the train came and we got on. But then the train stopped and we waited for 10 minutes before we were told to get off. Then, we waited in the cold again for another 15 minutes until another train came. Then, we got onto the train to our transfer station and then we waited another 10 minutes. Then, when we finally got to our exit.... the fun really began. Imagine a street of all white snow and some mere footsteps and two lines on the floor where our luggage was being pulled. That was us for two blocks... it seemed so close, yet so far... and yet more white and more white. I can't imagine how the pioneers did it - I walked two blocks and my fingers were frozen when we finally arrived and I thought I would get frostbite (yes, I'm paranoid).
I knew I shouldn't have come to Atlanta! My nightmare in Atlanta might have been avoided had I listened more closely to the Spirit, except I couldn't quite distinguish what was the Spirit and what was me making excuses not to go. Oddly enough, I don't think it mattered much because when I didn't feel the Spirit confirm to me that I should leave and go home, it was still safe because at least I had the co-worker to lead me to the hotel. Had he not been on my flight, I'm unsure where I would have ended up or if I would have known what to do once the taxis were not available! So I guess my nightmare in Atlanta wasn't THAT bad. Although, once at the hotel, I didn't sleep well either. So I guess that's when the real nightmare happened because 5 hours later, I am teaching a class of 54 with 3 other instructors and I am kind of tired. Just slightly.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Bump It
My friends have been asking to see the growing bump and I have attached a progression of the bump but as you can see, it really depends what I eat, what I wear and how much is food versus baby. I look particularly slim during week 19 but part of that is the amazing slimming Lululemon pants I am wearing (which is why it is worth it to splurge a lil bit on great pants!) and week 20 is immediately following Christmas (mmmmm and all the meals that came with it!).
I have acquired a love of dresses, much more comfortable than pants and probably something I can wear post pregnancy (you know the empire loosey goosey look!) and also, I can use it for work, casual and Sunday best - all I have to do is pair it with appropriate accessories, shoes and normally a sweater for work.
I have acquired a love of dresses, much more comfortable than pants and probably something I can wear post pregnancy (you know the empire loosey goosey look!) and also, I can use it for work, casual and Sunday best - all I have to do is pair it with appropriate accessories, shoes and normally a sweater for work.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Happy Friday At Long Last!
I don't believe I have ever felt such excitement for Friday as I do today! It has been a very long and eventful week for me at work. Upon returning, (forgive me for the list that is about to come), I have: done my normal scheduling and conflict resolution duties, taught a brief orientation training, attended a gruesome required technical update training, prepared and attended a 3.5 hour partner meeting, prepared and attended a 1 hour manager meeting (that somehow seeped into 1.5 hours for those of us in the office once the phone participants had departed), prepared (this one was the WORST) the slide deck for a market team all-hands meeting, including locating members for a panel discussion, inserting videos into the slides (yes, I know how! isn't it amazing?!?!), and most difficult, securing the In-N-Out truck for our lunch before the meeting.
The In-N-Out truck was the biggest challenge. First, I had to creatively think of how to get raffle tickets to all of my team and considering most are not in the office (we work at different client sites), I thought I had it solved when I sent out a pdf with a ticket I designed myself, which participants would print ahead of time. Little did I know I would have two more problems arise. #1 - Building management sent us a note that the Grand Street (where we intended to have the truck sit) was closed due to bridge remodeling. #2 - After personally going down and realizing it was not closed, I was informed by the In-N-Out crew that I was supposed to get a permit from the City of LA so they could park in the metered area. OOPS! What now?! I wanted to be proactive and try to do something but I honestly had no clue what to do. I went upstairs to talk to my representatives from the Firm who work with building management but one was away from his desk and the other had someone in her office and did not seem to notice me waiting outside. And then, without knowing what else to do, I said a lil prayer. Now, I don't normally pray for Heavenly Father's assistance as it relates to work issues (I only ask for a positive attitude and help being honest in how I interact with others), but I'd say this was a pretty explicit prayer for help. And though many might view it as good luck or a coincidence, I am quite sure the result of a "nice cop" driving by the In-N-Out truck, deciding to give them a fake permit so nobody else would bother them, is the help of Heavenly Father. I am quite sure the "nice cop" got a prompting and just followed it and how grateful I am!
A burger and a half later (I know I'm not eating for two... but come on, it was free In-N-Out and there were no fries because everything is fresh and the truck isn't big enough for potatoes), the meeting was all set to go (complete with nametags placed in alphabetical order and a rather complicated partner raffle), the teeny tiny screen was working, the speakers were semi-working, and our meeting was ready to go! I'm glad we only have all hands meetings once a quarter, anything more would be exhausting.
Unfortunately, due to the day's exciting events including a work happy hour following the meeting, I left my computer locked in the office and forgot I needed it to prep for the live meeting I am hosting today at lunch. And as such, I am currently on hold with an outsourced PwC help member from Bangalore, because my name change (effective 5 months ago) is still creating issues with work stuff and I was unsure how long it would take to resolve. Despite the difficulty I am having understanding him and his redundant questions, I am so excited that it is Friday and NOTHING can bring me down! If all goes well, my eight hour day will end at 3:30 PM. That's like a whole other day left for me!
This week reminds me of the fact that joy does comes with hard things so be diligent, persevere and get it done! Overcoming difficult obstacles provides a feeling of accomplishment and that reminds me of how hard it was to change when I decided to join the Church. It reminds me of habits or routines I had that I had to work at and were not easy... but that ultimately, I had such joy from it. True happiness and true bliss.
Posted By SupaFlowaPowa
The In-N-Out truck was the biggest challenge. First, I had to creatively think of how to get raffle tickets to all of my team and considering most are not in the office (we work at different client sites), I thought I had it solved when I sent out a pdf with a ticket I designed myself, which participants would print ahead of time. Little did I know I would have two more problems arise. #1 - Building management sent us a note that the Grand Street (where we intended to have the truck sit) was closed due to bridge remodeling. #2 - After personally going down and realizing it was not closed, I was informed by the In-N-Out crew that I was supposed to get a permit from the City of LA so they could park in the metered area. OOPS! What now?! I wanted to be proactive and try to do something but I honestly had no clue what to do. I went upstairs to talk to my representatives from the Firm who work with building management but one was away from his desk and the other had someone in her office and did not seem to notice me waiting outside. And then, without knowing what else to do, I said a lil prayer. Now, I don't normally pray for Heavenly Father's assistance as it relates to work issues (I only ask for a positive attitude and help being honest in how I interact with others), but I'd say this was a pretty explicit prayer for help. And though many might view it as good luck or a coincidence, I am quite sure the result of a "nice cop" driving by the In-N-Out truck, deciding to give them a fake permit so nobody else would bother them, is the help of Heavenly Father. I am quite sure the "nice cop" got a prompting and just followed it and how grateful I am!
A burger and a half later (I know I'm not eating for two... but come on, it was free In-N-Out and there were no fries because everything is fresh and the truck isn't big enough for potatoes), the meeting was all set to go (complete with nametags placed in alphabetical order and a rather complicated partner raffle), the teeny tiny screen was working, the speakers were semi-working, and our meeting was ready to go! I'm glad we only have all hands meetings once a quarter, anything more would be exhausting.
Unfortunately, due to the day's exciting events including a work happy hour following the meeting, I left my computer locked in the office and forgot I needed it to prep for the live meeting I am hosting today at lunch. And as such, I am currently on hold with an outsourced PwC help member from Bangalore, because my name change (effective 5 months ago) is still creating issues with work stuff and I was unsure how long it would take to resolve. Despite the difficulty I am having understanding him and his redundant questions, I am so excited that it is Friday and NOTHING can bring me down! If all goes well, my eight hour day will end at 3:30 PM. That's like a whole other day left for me!
This week reminds me of the fact that joy does comes with hard things so be diligent, persevere and get it done! Overcoming difficult obstacles provides a feeling of accomplishment and that reminds me of how hard it was to change when I decided to join the Church. It reminds me of habits or routines I had that I had to work at and were not easy... but that ultimately, I had such joy from it. True happiness and true bliss.
Posted By SupaFlowaPowa
Thursday, January 6, 2011
We Are Sleep Deprived
How does one sleep on their side effectively after they are 20 weeks pregnant? I'm told the baby won't be able to breathe appropriately if I don't sleep on my side but I'm having a very difficult time! Waking up three times in the middle of the night is not so effective and tacked onto the week's worth of long meetings and things to do is very hard! The only thing nice about not sleeping well is that I'm up so early to get ready and am able to respond to so many work e-mails and even blog a day or two in the AM. The bad thing is that I want to sleep before I have no option!
Andy is also struggling. Having gone from the Family Medicine rotation of 4 half days and one full day that began at 8 and ended around 6 to 2 weeks of luxury called vacation with no wake-up deadlines (exclusive of travel and ski days), he is finding it difficult to wake up in time to make it for his 6 AM start, even with our 10 PM sleep time!
So I suppose we are both in trouble. If we can't even get some sleep now, what happens when the baby comes?!
The only comfort seems to be, we have been very prayerful in asking for help upon return to work and school this week and thus far, despite the crazy schedule we both have, it has been doable. In fact, I am more energized, I even take time and care to do my hair and look presentable (for a while, my coworkers were commenting that I just "looked pregnant" and "a mess"). Andy has also commented that in spite of not having enough sleep and feeling fatigued constantly, his team has been great and he has had it pretty easy so far.
Since today is his first duty on call, and my longest day by far, we will see where we actually land by the end of the week. My guess? Asleep in the Temple on Friday night.
Andy is also struggling. Having gone from the Family Medicine rotation of 4 half days and one full day that began at 8 and ended around 6 to 2 weeks of luxury called vacation with no wake-up deadlines (exclusive of travel and ski days), he is finding it difficult to wake up in time to make it for his 6 AM start, even with our 10 PM sleep time!
So I suppose we are both in trouble. If we can't even get some sleep now, what happens when the baby comes?!
The only comfort seems to be, we have been very prayerful in asking for help upon return to work and school this week and thus far, despite the crazy schedule we both have, it has been doable. In fact, I am more energized, I even take time and care to do my hair and look presentable (for a while, my coworkers were commenting that I just "looked pregnant" and "a mess"). Andy has also commented that in spite of not having enough sleep and feeling fatigued constantly, his team has been great and he has had it pretty easy so far.
Since today is his first duty on call, and my longest day by far, we will see where we actually land by the end of the week. My guess? Asleep in the Temple on Friday night.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Our Blogs are Merged
FYI a ton of old entries from Daisy's old blog, Daises Without Thorns, just got added to our family blog so she will not be posting on the old blog anymore. Happy reading!
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