Are We Bad Parents?

When my high school friend heard I took Jordan, who just turned four months yesterday, to Disneyland, he told me not to spoil him which quite honestly, baffled me because ummm... yeah.... no. In fact, the poor child was so captivated by Disneyland's lights, sounds, smells, structures, rides, and people everywhere that he was unable to concentrate while eating all day (he wanted to see everything around him!) and refused to sleep all day (he did take a few short naps).

All day long, I didn't know if I should laugh or cry because he looked so cute as he fought to stay awake, slowly blinking and focusing on everything in front of him. He was absolutely captivated by the different art pieces on the wall and huge mirror behind our seat at Club 33 (for a detailed look inside the VIP private hidden secret of Disneyland, read my friend Paige's blog post), stupefied by the whirling lights, shooting lasers and blinking targets on Buzz Lightyear, mesmerized by Daddy and Mommy both pulling their slingshots for the Toy Story ride/game and enthralled with Ariel, Flounder, Scuttle, Sebastian and even Ursula in the Little Mermaid ride. As good parents, we might have thought it was time to leave after dinner, but we, along with our friends, the Camerons (who had a 5 month old baby Alex) and the Rasmussens, decided early in the AM that our departure would follow the 9 PM showing of the World of Colors, which was well worth it (yes, even at the expense of our very tired babies).

Though Jordan probably can't see color yet (the pupils develop the ability to discern color around 6 months), the thumping of the music all around us (carousel of color!!! the wonderful world of colorrrrrrrr... yeah, song's still in my head two days later) was enough that even in the dark as I tried to feed him on the floor, he was not having it and wanted in on the excitement. So he rode on his Daddy's shoulders (Andy supported him since he is not strong enough to sit up on his own yet), clinging onto Andy's ear and hair, and his eyes seemed to grow larger with each splash of water and flashing image and color. But the moment Andy got tired and I took over, his eyes blinked slowly and Andy told me to turn him away from the show and in that millisecond, he was out. Poor thing had been so tired. Unfortunately, his parents who had seen the show a year ago when he was still cooking inside my womb, knew how amazingly awesome it was and convinced everyone to stay for it!

The very next day, Jordan turned 4 months old!


His current statistics (as of last week) are:

Head: 75% 23 cm (I think....)

Weight: 75% 15 lbs and 13 oz

Height: 90% 26 inches

It's amazing to me that just four months ago, my baby was just a pooping, peeing, burping, spitting, sleeping machine with occasional glimpses of a smile. These days, his poops are less frequent, he only pees on me once every 3-4 days, he has fake cries and real cries, is trying so hard to roll over (he rolled from tummy to back fives times in a row one morning and I guess decided he was over it... has only happened once since then) from his stomach to back and back to front and gets frustrated when he gets stuck on his side, and will coo and try to talk, smiles so much when he's in a good mood, and is just so intent on observing everything around him.

I love him to pieces and I can't believe when we last went to Disneyland with our Voluntears passes around Halloween last year, he was still swimming around inside of my stomach - and making me sick btw, all we did was watch shows and I felt like fainting many times - ugh, at least the experience did not make me dread dole whips. We got our fix of dole whips and raved about it while the Camerons did the same with corn dogs and Jeff with his popcorn. I guess we all have separate preferences but one thing we had in common - we had a blast at Disneyland!

p.s. This is what you get when you ask a stranger to take your photograph - the castle is cut off! Booo!!!

p.p.s. At the end of the night, the babies were OUT and some daddies.

The "Can't Sleep" Syndrome of Going to Disneyland!

I'm not a die hard Disneyland fan (mostly because we can't afford it and I'm lazy even though I know it's less than an hour away without traffic!) but just like when I was a kid, I cannot go to sleep the night before a trip to Disneyland because I am so dang excited. If I were to retreat to bed right now, I would just toss and turn, imagining my day tomorrow and still wondering what I am going to wear (it's something I did as a teen and I guess some habits die hard).

I am thinking of all the rides I can go on! I am thinking of all the Mickey Mouse shaped food! I am thinking yo ho yo ho! I am thinking it's a small world! I am thinking I hope I see some pretty princesses (have you ever thought, hmmm they were much better looking when I was a kid). I am thinking of the popcorn popping, ice cream stands, and adorable themed uniforms the workers will greet me in. I am thinking of the smell of vanilla permeating the air as I walk down Main Street (yeah so they pump peppermint during the Christmas season and did you know the doors and windows on Main Street are proportioned to look big so you feel little when you're there?... clever!). I am thinking of the Dole-Whip that Andy introduced me to last time! I am thinking of the basketball court inside the Matterhorn that I won't get to see but the Abominable Snowman that will freak me out (even though I'm a grown woman). I am thinking I should go to sleep now. And most importantly, I am thinking how much better Disneyland will be when you're not nauseous and unable to go on any of the fun rides (when we went with our Voluntears passes I was two months pregnant and NOT a happy camper) and instead introducing the world of happiness that is Disneyland to your almost four month old who won't understand a thing and will be exhausted.

I truly never thought I would be one of those parents who brought their tiny not even speaking or walking yet kid to Disneyland because really, what can he go on and what torture for him, right? Say hello to your stroller babe, you will be in it for most of tomorrow. *sigh. Sad, right? Yet.... now that I'm a parent, I understand life must go on and your kid will just adapt and really, it will make him stronger, less difficult and make parenthood much happier! So, yes - we might not be the best parents but neither are our friends because we're all bringing our babies (four kids less than twelve months) to Disneyland tomorrow! Hey, they are free before 3 years of age and I personally think Jordan will enjoy the change of scenery. He will also be able to boast that he went to Club 33 before he was even 1 year old. Yes, we are going to Club 33, the super elite, VIP, magical and special restaurant inside Disneyland that one must be a member in order to be granted access in. Lucky for me, the Firm I work for has membership and one of the perks of working there is that I can go. Despite having been once for a company kick-off meeting, I'm thinking tomorrow will be much more memorable and fun.

I should go to sleep. Like a kid who's going to Disneyland tomorrow, I can't. And the funny thing is, it's not a figure of speech.

What I Learned Today...

Today I learned, if I am going to bring something to a picnic for others to partake of, it should be something I enjoy eating in case nobody eats it except for me and I come home with a big bowl of it.

No regrets - I am happily eating my own broccoli salad tonight, tomorrow... basically until it's gone!

I also learned to be very careful with what kind of underwear and work out pants you wear to a cardio kickboxing class held in a studio with large windows where everyone outside can see in because of a thing called melvilles (wedgies to simpletons).

No regrets - the class was well worth it!

Sometimes I'm Hoity Toity Because I Just Am...

One of the perks of living in Los Angeles is the proximity of the Fashion District downtown. Once a month on the last Friday, the ninth floor of the California Mart (my junior prom was here, it was weird to say the least) becomes the hoity toity haven for cheap baby stuff.

I've been a couple of times and at first, was appalled by what any toddler or infant would need Diesel jeans and moreover by the "discounted" price of tiny t-shirts and onesies with seemingly trendy phrases being sold for $10. That's not a deal. It's a steal (in the bad way)! I might have better luck at the local Goodwill where the spit and milk stains might pass as "cool" if faded on purpose (or so I'd claim).

But as we came across one store in particular, I saw diaper bags for $10-$40. Given diaper bags from Target cost $20, these originally retailed bags of $100 - $300 (think Storksak, Reese Li, Babymel) were indeed a reason to spend some hard earned cash! As I browsed some more, I saw very cute Sunday Best outfits similar to what I might find at Janie and Jack for $10-$15 and other deals at stores that sold to little boutiques in Los Angeles that I had never heard of but were - even I must admit - pretty darn cute. Besides going to Ross, Nordstrom Rack and TJMaxx and going through the mess of clothes that are all well priced or even making a trip to Macy's when they are discounting last season's stuff, this was pretty much the next best thing. I got so excited that I eventually made my way back once with my mum and once with my mother-in-law and plan on going back for more!

And so I wanted to share this bit of insider information (the good kind Martha) because sometimes it's fun to feel hoity toity and know you didn't spend that much for it. Nobody can see the markings of "sample" inside my bag and it's a pretty sweet bag - better than any free Carter's bag you could get from Babies 'R' Us for buying a certain amount of baby stuff (yes, you know the deal, almost everyone got a free bag for spending more than $50).

So if you're in Los Angeles or know someone around, send 'em to the ninth floor of the California Mart on the last Friday of the month for some cheap hoity toity baby stuff. It's well worth a trip.

Leftovers from Pregnancy

There's this restaurant on Green Street in Old Town Pasadena called "La Luna Negra" which serves tapas and sangria (think alcoholic grape juice soda with bits of fruit in it) and has entertainment like flamenco and bands playing all the time. It's quite a sight to see when you drive by, very festive looking and really grabs at your attention and the food is quite good but it is a bit pricey and if you're tall like my 6'4 lil brother, the height of the chairs and table are quite uncomfortable.

When I learned I was pregnant and the dark line on my belly button that runs from the top of the belly down to the bottom of the belly, is in fact called the linea negra, I could never get the two straight. I often called it the luna negra on my stomach. Yes, a restaurant was on my belly. Apparently, the mark is caused by the hormones in your body (as everything is whilst pregnant) and fades after you give birth some months later.

Understandably so, I did not freak out when the line did not disappear on my stomach immediately after giving birth. In fact, I was so calm about the natural line on my belly, that I failed to realize the rim of dirt that was forming around my belly button.

Recently, on our road trip back from Arizona, I sat in the backseat with Jordan and for some strange reason, got bored and began to look at my belly button, wondering when the luna negra would disappear. This was my first encounter with the rim around my belly button that I immediately thought was just part of the luna negra. But remember I said it's a line? My line was still there but significantly lighter than the circly part of the luna negra that in contrast to the fading line, looked quite distinct and huge. Ugh, I thought. Pregnancy in all its glory and beauty can also be quite disgusting sometimes. Ugh. Ugh again. And then.... I wondered. No... It couldn't be, but..... but what if?

So I started to rub at the rim around my belly button. Shocked and a bit disgusted by myself, I realized it was starting to rub off. I grabbed for a wipe (pretty convenient to have Jordan around at times like these), and began scrubbing the circumference of my belly button with the wipe. Remember picking the Elmer's dried glue off your fingers when you were a kid? This was ten times as fun and yet, part of me cringed at how long I had let my belly button deteriorate to its current state of grimy leftovers.

I don't remember what Andy was doing at this point. He might have been on the phone (I think this is the only time he calls most of his friends... while on a road trip!) or singing to the music playing from Pandora on our bluetooth system (yes, it's quite sweet), but afraid to admit what I was doing that exact moment, I might have started up conversation to distract him. In fact, I 'm quite sure I did exactly that. I did however recall the events for him later but did not have any evidence to show for it (this I did purposely, nobody should ever know exactly how much dirt was on my belly button).

So for all my pregnant friends or soon to be pregnant friends, please beware - the luna negra/linea negra - whatever you want to call it... it is a hormonal stamp of pregnancy in the shape of a line and a line only. There should not be a circle involved. Don't be like me and wait for the line to fade away before you realize the circle of leftovers.

Token Asian Baby

Despite having grown up in Arcasia, my Asian roots haven't done much for me in terms of mom friends and baby play dates. I think this is due to the fact that most of my Asian friends from back home are still sans baby. According to their timeline of wanting certain accomplishments checked off first, a strong desire to travel more, a suitable income, a required number of years married before starting a family or simply no time, babies have been postponed and as such, I am the first baby momma in my group of Asian friends.

Lucky for me, everyone in my building is having babies and the same goes for everyone in my Church! As a result, I have made random friends with baby's mommas in our apartment complex and from other babies' mommas at Church.

At Church, there is a maternity lounge complete with rocking chairs, a diaper changing station, boppys, a sink, speakers so you can hear what is going on during Sacrament and a mirror to fix your clothes for afterwards. Since Jordan began going to Church after being a month old, we have frequented this maternity lounge often and met so many other mothers and babies while there. It feels good to be part of a special VIP club known as Motherhood, and even more fun to know I'm not the only member in the My Baby Won't Take the Bottle Club.

A few weeks ago, one of my preggers walking buddies, Nicole, who lives up the street from us, decided to have a 2011 Babies Party which we co-hosted! We overestimated the amount of games a mom of babies all less than seven months could accomplish but still had a great time meeting other babies and mommies, munching on an assortment of potluck-ed lunch and conversing about our babies. It was reassuring to talk about each baby's milestones, realizing that all babies cry, all babies have some serious blowouts, and a lot of babies hate the bottle. It was also entertaining to watch the other babies, the little ones who cried like Jordan used to, the big ones who could roll over, and all the babies spit up and drool just like Jordan does from time to time.

It made me think about all the for profit baby play date groups and how lucky I am to have a group of women to turn to for questions and company from both Church and where we live at no cost. I feel grateful for both tender mercies from the Lord and I am looking forward to more moments of Jordan being the token Asian baby.

Already Thinking About Leaving California

I keep a pretty close track of our net worth through Mint.com and I'm dreading the day the medical school loans hit and our net worth plummets into the negatives. On the bright side, I'm also looking forward to a potential residency somewhere where gas and groceries (our two largest monthly expenses) are not so expensive! Then again, the fruit in California by far surpasses the lack of variety elsewhere. Of course, the heat in the summertime here is also quite difficult and a trip to the beach is just too time consuming. Although, there is the option of the beach here.

As you can see, I vacillate periodically about our soon to be (guess it depends where we match right?) departure from California. I have started to slowly accumulate a list of the pros and cons of living in Southern California, and I'm hoping to maximize on the pros before we leave. Those would include, but are not limited to, seeing my parents and nearby family often (it's funny how my cousins all live nearby but we probably only get together for big holidays or events), eating lots of authentic and cheap Chinese, Korean and Thai food with a dabble of Japanese when my mom takes me (Andy isn't a huge fan of Japanese), loading up on Thrifty ice cream every week it's 2 for $5, getting boba and shaved ice from time to time, going to Hollywood Bowl before we leave, visiting the downtown LA fabric district some more for fabric and trim (for those craft projects I will one day get to), and maybe a trip to Disneyland.

My list isn't that extensive because in thinking it over, there's not much about So Cal that I'm really attached to besides my roots in Arcasia and the food here. Although I like shopping at the Grove and the Americana, I can live without both and in the limited time I've been away from home (think college, living on the westside and my short stint in San Jose), the local grocery stores and shopping malls are usually the first things I become acquainted with. Not because I am that crazy of a shopper, but because I like knowing where things are ahead of time. In case you didn't get the memo, I'm sort of a planner.

I also find comfort in the fact that my parents will probably never leave LA, so we will always be coming back. I know we're not leaving yet, but in many ways, I'm already thinking about leaving California and what it entails because we're going to be going out of town for a few weeks to Orlando for vacation and then Salt Lake City for a rotation Andy has with the University of Utah. That's a long time away from our lil LA apartment that has become home and it's going to be a sort of test drive for me while I'm there. When Andy's cousins were here, they kept exclaiming, "We don't have that in Utah!" and the more they commented on little things like the Chinese sausages and Yan Yans on sale at our local Costco to the nearby Chipotle and all the fro yo places, I started to fear the unknown and already began missing So Cal.

Much is the case with life. We often take for granted what we have, always thinking about what we don't have. Today, I'm going to stop thinking about leaving California and what I have to gain, and enjoy the things of California that are at my disposal now. I'm thinking, a work out at the outdoor mall with an amazing ginormous fountain that mimics the Bellagio's (but not that big), some fro-yo or boba and a visit to my community pool. It's the simple things in life that we tend to overlook and hate on... well, today, I'm not going to hate, I'm going to appreciate.