The Real Housewives of SLC: Episode 2 Recap

From the recap of episode one: "A good Mormon doesn't have sex" but I'm sitting here scratching my head, then how did they have all those kids?! 

We return to the party at Jen's chalet still. Jen is venting to her hair stylist and saying, "that's like looking at a baby with cancer and saying the baby smells like it has cancer," and she is so mad at Mary disrespecting her family. You guys, this is over the top, even for a reality show. I'm sorry, but I'm with Heather that it's absurd, and I dunno why we are still talking about it, but Jen does make a comment about Mary's loofa dress, which I cannot stop laughing about. And then Mary walks in with her loofa dress (it's designer though guys...) But also, her loofa dress isn't the best part, the black fingerless gloves on her left hand are my favorite for sure. No, wait a minute, it's the WHITE OPAQUE tights she's wearing under her loofa dress. But more importantly, do we think Jen and Meredith coordinated their bright pink outfits? Back to the fight with Mary and Jen, they just hug it out. B-O-R-I-N-G. Where's the fighting?! 

Then we witness Whitney coming to thank Lisa for her donated tequila for her vow renewal, but then tells Lisa about how the bartenders she sent that made a huge hot mess and were drinking on the job, and we get a flashback to Whitney cleaning up the "brand new house" and yelling about the bartenders who dropped glass everywhere. Her party turned into a nightmare, but it must not have been the stripper pole that made her party went crazy.  HAHA.  Still laughing about that one. 

It's the day after the party now and Jen's got a bunch of assistants helping her clean up the "small party" before her hubs gets home, cuz he has no clue she just threw a wedding of a party for her friend (we think). 

Girls' Trip!!!  Lisa is telling her husband she will be going on a girls ski trip, and she's not sure what that means with Whitney cuz of their conversation at the end of the party.  Lisa told Whitney she might have heard about her being a swinger.... So now Lisa is complaining to her husband about the situation with Whitney, and it is the best editing ever.  Basically a slow montage of her complaining to him, and she's still talking, and he's still listening.  I imagine this is what life is like for every husband who is listening to their wife complain. It kinda goes into this repeat DJ shuffling type of thing and she makes sure to say she doesn't really wanna talk about it but goes on and on and on. Then her husband, who has just been the amazing supportive husband that he is, asks if he should be listening or giving feedback and she says, "No, I just wanna talk" and then she says they're fine, they're good. Which begs the question why she just went on this super long tirade to her husband about it if they're fine. "Done," he says, lol. Oh man, the supporting actors are great so far. 

Powder Ski Shop - this is really close to my house and finally it's fun to see some SLC spots near my hood. Heather is getting fitted for ski boots, and says, "if you live here and don't ski, it's really just a tragedy," and she may be right. Those who don't ski might find it offensive, but I learned to ski in Utah, on the powder, when I was 31. So, it's possible guys! Whitney and Heather go on to talk about the party, Whitney is butt hurt that Lisa pretended to not know her from before. Ugh, who cares. Get over it girls. Some people have better memories than others. Whitney then asks Heather, "why did you invite Lisa?" (to the girls ski trip, but isn't the answer because they're on a reality show together?!) Insert random expected and incorrect Mormon commentary here. 

 They always seem to manage to get it in and include photos from their childhood lol. Whitney thinks that Lisa thinks she might be a swinger, which is normal in Utah (what?!). Then, she goes on to talk about the polygamists. PS. I'm obsessed with the fundamentalists, but they never talk about them. Can we talk abbout them instead? Apparently, the polygamists would use a can telephone system to warn each other when the police came. LOL. Okay Whitney, whatever you say crazy girl. She goes on to talk about how perfect she was as a Mormon girl, and she chose the 3 week history tour over the trip to Maui, I guess she came back from the trip, messed around with her boyfriend, and had some beer. NOt sure where she go the "perfect" from, but sounds pretty not perfect to me hahaha. Maybe she should have gone to Maui instead, anyway this made her question her entire faith because she didn't feel bad. Sounds like she never had a testimony to start with, but.... let's focus on how I'm still waiting for more snapshots of places I recognize. So far, nothing too interesting. 

Whitney's at home creating some culinary creations of grilled cheese (it doesn't look very good though) for her kids, who should be off their phones, but she does this apathetic admitting phones are bad but doesn't really make him come off of it.  "Your brain is going to be mush," she tells her son, and he agrees, but continues to stay on his phone.  Forehead slam.  Good parenting guys.  Whitney's dad comes to visit in a gorgeous camo sherpa sweatshirt and his crazy jet black hair that I can't decide - is it real or not? Her dad is her best friend, but he's been on painkillers for ten years so it's really damaged their relationship. He is supposedly a prior self made millionaire from hair products, which I can't decide if it's ironic or the reason he has this super black hair.  He does have a wonderful head of hair though, and I'm sure my hubs would be quite jealous and buy his products if it means a full head of hair like his! He seems kind of uncomfortable in this reality gig though, kind of like a bad actor. He's going to go to Church with Whitney and Mary.  

Finally, City Creek - oh wait, nope, that was just a quick snapshot.  Meredith and husband are now at some bar called The Handle, which looks like it's got some yummy salads.  Now it's Meredith's turn, and I love the young photos of her and her husband from the 90s. They're having dinner and talking about the elephant in the room, about how they're separated and him wondering who she's told. I'm actually wondering what my own husband and I will look like in 20 years and if we'll look like these folks. I think their faces are frozen, but will I want lip injections?  Hmmm.  Okay, now Meredith's husband is talking about how transparent he is and how he'd let her look at his phone and she doesn't want to. You wanna know something funny? My husband and I look at each other's phone ALL the time. HAHAHA.  Then we get a snippet of them having an interview and he's hoping she isn't dating anyone yet, and she just stares.... DUN DUN DUNNNN (she totally is, I'm calling it). Also, they both look so much better in the interview than they do at dinner. Good makeup crew for the interviews!  

Ski Trip time! I wish I looked that cute when I go skiing. These girls look like ski bunnies for sure! I can't decide if I like Mary's hat and Fendi ski goggles or Lisa's pink fur cover up. Mary says that Chanel don't give you wedgies, time to go get some chanel undies! LOL. Jen's head to toe leopard ski outfit is likely the best. Some of the girls are amazing at skiing, and then there's Lisa, Mary, and Jen, who cannot do much. I might be better than them, hahaha. Jen is my favorite though, because she talks about how she took a lesson the other day, and we see the flashback of her skating through her home with her heels making an obstacle course. But the slopes are kind boring, so watching them eat dinner and chat is going to be way more interesting. 

Whitney's talking about how her dad and her are going to Mary's church to check it out. Lisa talks about how when she became an LDS person, she felt like it improved her life. Lisa gets points for saying, "that's cultural, not gospel" as Whitney complains about feeling judged. Utah is all about the cultural issues with LDS stuff, but then Whitney talks about how she feels judged by Lisa (maybe because in a flashback, Lisa said her style is all Utah... hahaha, umm which it is, you are blonde and look like a good old LDS girl). Whitney goes on to talk about how she felt threatened during the conversation at the party, the one where she approached her to complain about her bartenders, never mind that Lisa gifted a ton of free alcohol and wasn't even invited to the vow renewal lol. I am totally loving Lisa and wondering what the heck is wrong with Whitney now. She is so annoying. I am liking Lisa more. Lisa is not judgmental, she is just honest and talking about things she heard, she doesn't care enough to judge her (OUCH!!!) so maybe I love Lisa. she doesn't take anyone's BS. Meanwhile, Meredith is looking uncomfortable that this confrontation has happened during dinner with a bunch of people around. Meredith keeps drinking while watching everyone. 

Lisa goes on about how her intent is always love and kindness but what other people think is something she can't control (so true). Uh oh - now Heather goes on to reveal stuff Lisa told Jen and Jen looks a tiny bit uncomfortable too. Then we get a lesson on text code - two thumbs up is a "F you" what?!??! I use two thumbs all the time. Shoot. This conversation is really hard to stomach. I think I'm going to have to stop here because Lisa is apologizing to everyone for making them feel bad, and oh man, this isn't even fun drama. I can't stand drama where the girls just make themselves a victim and feel so hurt because of other people. Ugh, get over it. It's obviously not Lisa's problem, and if they don't want to be her friend, they don't have to be. I'm not sure if I can continue this guys... this is so bad. Good, it's over now.  Woohoo!  

The Real Housewives of SLC: Episode 1 Recap and Thoughts from a Latter-day Saint (ME!)

OMGoodness!  Squealing with excitement that the first episode of the Real Housewives of SLC just aired.  I haven't followed the other reality series closely, only the first ever one when it first aired because I was still living in Los Angeles at the time and it just peaked my interest.  It was a crap show like all reality series, but it was also the kind of wreck you couldn't look away from.  Why are we as human beings so keen on other people's crap shows?! 

Well, I had to comment as a good Latter-day Saint myself.  Mostly because it was such a huge decision for me to join the Church, because I am not someone who was raised in the Church, and because of the controversy of how they portray they Church, I wanted to be the voice of reason and critique.   Plus, some of my LDS friends are so disgusted by the show, my recap will serve as a quick summary read and then they can refute all the nonsense when their friends ask if SLC is really like that?  

Of course it's not!  It's a reality show mean to peak your interests.  It's fake, so much of it is fake.  Not just the boobs, eyelashes, and lips which stand out above all the rest, but even the fights and stuff.  One of my good friends interned at MTV back when Laguna Beach was still on air, and I know firsthand that they had to "retape" a lot of the fight scenes, and the producers would prompt animosity between the characters with questions and lead the drama any which way.  

Okay - onto the recap! 

First, as an active Latter-day Saint, I find it hilarious that everyone in the show is using the term, "Mormon" which our Prophet and President of the Church has recently made a huge fuss over us no longer using that phrase to reference ourselves.  Weird especially considering I was part of the initial "I Am a Mormon" campaign back in 2010, but it was revelation to him, probably because Heavenly Father knew that people were going to try and take advantage of the curiosity around our religion.  There's not much to be curious about, we have a great website, the missionaries are dying to meet you and teach you, but what you won't know unless you're an active member is we always now refer to ourselves as Latter-day Saints.  It's almost an inside joke in a way to those who have left the Church and still refer to themselves as former or ex-Mormons.  It's a trigger word too, because once you say it, everyone knows you ain't one.  LOL 

Okay moving on...  first up is JEN SHAH, but umm... Jen's Shah's Chalet?  What's a chalet?  I must be too basic because I had no clue.  But here's our first assumed former "Mormon," and she is a riot!  Definitely hands down my favorite character!  What sass and crazy this one is!  She is Tongan and Hawaiian and married to one of the assistant coaches at the U. She is extra.  Definitely super extra, and trying to have cringe worthy parental talks with her two sons about sexting.  You are welcome to look away during this portion.  She even has her own assistant, a dude, and they drive the wrong way all over downtown SLC because video editing.  This girl loves her beauty updates, in fact she  makes weekly visits to her friend, HEATHER GAY, who owns Beauty Lab and is another former "Mormon" who married a super rich "Mormon" who was basically "Mormon royalty."  Ummm.. no.  If there's any Mormon royalty, his name is Mitt Romney or Rachel Parcell.  If you're LDS, then you know what I'm talking about.  Anyone else, and this nobody, is exactly that.  A nobody.   Also, she owns a beauty lab and talks really awfully about her "Mormon clientele" trying to seek perfection.  I'm thinking this won't be so good for business after the show airs.... 

Heather is not the first to bad mouth the Church.  She has to right?  Pretty sure that was part of the gig when they decided who would be in the show.  Apparently she didn't get the memo that a lot of active Latter-day Saints get divorced. It's not against the religion Heather.  It's maybe discouraged, okay, but dude I know tons of great people who are divorced AND Latter-day Saints, what are the odds?  I even know people who have remarried.  BLENDED families?  What the what. Shocking right?  Oh wait, it's a reality show trying to taint the religion that so many people are curious about.  Totally expected. But she also talks about how Elder Holland said to Be Therefore Perfect - Eventually - just kidding, but she knocks on how we all believe we can be perfect, so we keep getting beauty stuff done lol.  Ummm.. not quite, but here's the talk in case you are curious why we believe we can be therefore perfect (hint: its' a scripture, but there's more!) 

Oh but let's not forget Jen also tells us how she changed religion (so casually also because you know, it's like picking what you wear) when her husband told her that blacks weren't allowed in the "Mormon church" until the 70s.  First, that's not true.  Ask any good latter-day Saint who is black, or check in with SistasinZion, what they didn't have was the Priesthood which some might argue is basically the same thing, but this also was the black men, and it was during a time when the world was trying to figure things out and I don't fault the Church for their decisions, just like I don't fault the US for not letting Asians own land or marry other races back in the day, but times have changed and so has the Church, and that's all great history but folks, let's talk about the fact that she was raised in the Church and didn't have a clue about this until she got married.  Was she getting botox during Sunday School?  Cuz I joined the Church at 28, and you better bet I did my due diligence to understand every controversial opinion and doctrine of the Church.  But not Jen Shah, she might have been too preoccupied party planning cuz homegirl can plan a kick butt party for herself - I mean, for her friend. 

Moving on again, to meet more characters.  LISA BARLOW who is a feminist in every right, also another former "Mormon," who owns an alcohol company with her husband (I wish I could tell you if it's good, but I'm out of the loop now), but also, refuses to cook, so they do takeout for pretty much every meal.  But she couldn't do a better takeout than Taco Bell?  Taco Bell in a porsche.  Too bad it wasn't a Tesla though.  At least she redeemed her SLC-ness with some Crumbl cookies in the nice pink box, but I don't know whether to envy her never cooking or feel sad that she is eating Taco Bell enough that it's being filmed.  I find Del Taco a little bit more high class but you'll only find me there on Tuesdays, if that.  Maybe that scene was filmed on a Tuesday, because if so - I have much more respect for Lisa now, but I doubt she's trying to save money with her dining out choices.  

Then we meet another girl, MEREDITH MARKS, who is basically Lisa Barlow's twin except she's not "Mormon" and she has little drama except this subtle hint of a troubled marriage because her husband expresses on air that he's not getting any.  Ouch.  Methinks the producers are setting us up for a storyline!  (slow golf clap). Reminds me of the awkward time a partner at work said something along those lines when he was drunk and all us associates chuckled awkwardly and tried to slip away. SO awkward. Meredith Marks, supposedly a really famous person with jewelry that a ton of celebrities wear.  They named dropped some but I was more focused on her awesome son who hands down has the best make-up on the show.  And, what a sweetheart!  Helping his dad who can't manage to make it home for his wife's birthday, spread all these amazing red roses everywhere and light candles (I hope he blew it out before they left for the party of the year). He is hands down the best looking person on the show, but it might be a close tie with WHITNEY ROSE who appears to have not entered botox just yet.  More on that later.  Apparently Meredith is the in to all those who want to party at Sundance.  I think that's how everyone became her friend. 

Okay, so then we meet Whitney Rose, who is also cousins with Heather Gay, and she is renewing her vows with her slightly older husband (they stress this in the show, I didn't notice to be honest, they make a cute couple) because it was a super scandalous relationship when it started because it was an office romance where they both cheated on their spouses!  Kinda gross but kind intriguing, but more hilarious to me is when she states she can't believe it took her friends and family ten years to come around to the fact that she had a sordid affair with her older boss and left her husband for him.  That's the kind of foundation that family and friends usually support and get behind you with, no matter what, so of course she's right.  Why didn't anyone believe her?  Why did it take ten years for them to finally realize this relationship was for real?  It better be for real, because they just renewed their vows to make sure of that!  But they are seriously such a cute couple.  His face when she rides on the pole during the afterparty (yes, I just said that) is so cute and supportive.  Of course they're still together!  She makes sure you know that she has won because they are indeed still together.  Oh and we get a short snippet of her dad, who has THE blackest wig or hair I have ever seen.  I think it's a wig, but it's potentially even more black than my own hair which is all natural and mind you I have gotten random compliments from my older white male optometrist about it in SLC (weird? or is it.....).  The previews indicate we will be seeing more of him later, and I can't wait! 

Then we meet our last, but not least character, MARY COSBY, who is married to her step grandfather!  Then everyone has to make side comments about how that is weird, even for Utah.  LOL.  I'm not originally from Utah so I can appreciate the snarkiness but that's not just weird for Utah, that's weird period.  But it's okay, she had to do it in order to inherit the kingdom and wealth that is some Pentecostal Church that is definitely killing it in Salt Lake because homegirl is dressed to the nines!  She will tell you about all her brand names, there's so many, I don't even know what designer she is in, but it is wonderful and amazing and I love her for it all!  Also, in one scene her black sparkly beret catches the light just right the entire time she is talking.  Asians love bling, so I love it! She's also effortlessly blunt and cannot figure out she needs to apologize to Jen for saying it smelled like hospital, a scent she is very sensitive and triggers a lot for Mary, when Jen complains about how she just came from the hospital where her aunt had both legs amputated.  Mary even says well maybe the aunt didn't have a healthy diet (OMGoodness, did she really just say that) and I am here for it all.  

This goes down during a party which Jen has planned for herself  her good friend Meredith's birthday. It is a gorgeous over the top party with roses, new furniture she brings in to rearrange along with a tent and runway because everyone needs a runway for a party, duh.   There's also a lot of alcohol and of course they talk about alcohol (which nobody points out is reduced and not as strong in Utah, the first thing all my non-LDS cousin couldn't stop talking about when he visited because it isn't any cheaper according to him, but takes longer so much longer to get buzzed) but then Heather has to make a comment about how all the Mormons at the party will basically be drinking in a corner.  But really she means cultural Mormons, because so much of Utah was founded with the religion when it began, but so many people have fallen away, that it really is like being Jew.  It's a religion, but it's also a culture.  I subscribe to the religion part, but I am still adjusting to the culture of it all, so this part of the show amuses me instead of angering me. Dude, if you wanna drink - go drink!  Nobody cares.  But don't come to church and pretend you don't drink.  Hypocrites.  I gave up alcohol myself 11 years ago to join the Church, so I know firsthand how fun and awesome it is to get wasted, but also how wreckless and the painful dumb things we all did while drinking.  Luckily, I never got hung over because I drank tons of water, but I hear it's awful and if you're wondering what it feels like, it feels like you just had a new baby.  There, now every new mom has felt hungover.  To the max. 

Overall, I know a lot of my Latter-day Saints friends will be pissed about the show.  "Whitney Rose wasn't ex-communicated, she left" but honestly guys, who cares?!  We all know these are not real "Mormons" and that they are going to poke fun at our religion, say things like, "I love blacks, I love homosexuals, and the Church does not love them" or how being a "good Mormon" means "don't drink, don't swear, treat your body like a Temple."  LOL.  If only guys.  It takes way WAY more than that, and probably a testimony is the most important part, but that doesn't sell.  That's not exciting! Look, it took me a lot of serious conversations with missionaries and my own studying but when you feel the Spirit, you just KNOW!  I don't think they've felt the Spirit though, doubt they even know what that is... but what I felt by watching was definitely the spirit of wanting more of the pure entertainment.  I think no publicity is bad publicity, because I'm pleased that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints put an ad into the Book of Mormon musical about "loved the show? The book is even better!" (I've heard, I've not actuall seen the musical, just watched the numbers and read about the plotline). Anyway, I'm here for it all!  And since so many of my LDS friends won't be watching it, I'm willing to take one for the team and post recaps every week.  

Bring it on RHOSLC! 

Laundry: The Never-Ending Story Of MY Life

I suppose the same can be said about cooking and cleaning, but for some reason, I don't ever forget to cook, and cleaning can be ignored without a huge devastating consequence, but laundry is something that when forgotten, really comes back to bite me in the butt. 

Since I spend so much of my time in the laundry room, that was the second room in our new house that I wanted to update.  I had updated the dreary and foreboding red in my office to a light gray/purple which has always been a dream of mine ( I am in love with the color purple but a darker purple might have been too much for me...) plus I needed it to be bright and airy for when I do my meetings (I'm a speaking coach at night via Zoom).

So the first thing I did before I even began taking off the cabinets to paint white (they used to be brown) was make this print.  It was the motivating image in my update.  I did black and white with blues, and this print sits perfectly before and after the update.  Some of you have asked for it, so here it is.  Just save it as a JPG and print it at Costco or any other photo printer.  Enjoy! 

Download Laundry print here

Freebie: Family Advent Calendar Printable!

Dear friends, 

I made this for our family, but thought I should share with everyone else!  If you're looking for something basic to do, I'm your girl! If you don't have snow, you'll have to substitute for playing outside, in leaves, etc. 

Download PDF here

Love, 

Daisy

On Motivations

I've been thinking a lot about motivations, especially as I struggle with finding a means to motivate my own children that are now being homeschooled. I started to notice the pros and cons of homeschooling. 

Pros:

We can honestly do so much more in the amount of time we have together.  We can go over three subjects with one on one attention, finish piano practice, and have a lot of leisurely reading time.  We also explore a lot of other fun subjects like technology where we're doing a coding subscription kit and learning about 3D printing and printing stuff together (or planning on it). 

Cons:

Within 2 days of homeschooling my kindergartener, I called the school and registered her.  Even though I'm unsure how long in person school will last with the pandemic, I needed her to learn the social aspects of a school education where they have to take turns, not throw massive tantrums everytime she wanted something because 1. I'm her mom and 2. I'm her mom. 

The same hardships exist with just my boys.  Whenever they decide to be disruptive or that they don't want to do the assigned work, they throw a tantrum, enormous astronomical sized ones that I know they would never ever dare to throw at school.  I know there are children that would also throw a tantrum at school, but mine haven't.  In fact, Bubba is the most well behaved kid at school, he actually separates himself from his friends if they are causing trouble because being well behaved at school is that important to him.  I am trying to think of what it is that makes him try so hard - the pride, the knowledge that he's the best?  And so my mind dwells on what motivates me.  Why do I work so hard to organize and clean?  Before I started posting my decluttering journey, why did I keep my home clean.  Pre social media, why was I obsessed with it?  It made me feel good.  I like showing my mom that I could keep my room clean, but I also liked how it made me feel.  Good.  

Does completing their work make my kids feel good?  Perhaps until they've learned a sufficient amount, there's nothing to be proud of?  Or will test taking and receiving good results make them want to try harder?  Will the objective of learning itself ever make them feel good?  As I sit and force my child to practice another song on the piano yet again, is there something for him to be pleased with?  

I finally decided my kids do need motivation.  Some type of positive and negative reinforcement, because without it, they are just ticking tantrum bombs.  If it's not the oldest, it's the second.  I quickly put up "very good" and "not good" in Chinese on my board and started telling them that good behavior earned a show.  I hate using screen time as a hook for them, but with our strict screen rules, it really works.  So for now, why not.  Perhaps faking it til we make it will mean they eventually are so honed in on routine, they don't even question why they study hard and work hard, because it just comes naturally,  or perhaps, it backfires and my kids will not do anything once they get a phone and don't need to do anything to get it.  Who knows.  Time will tell.  

Poetic Justice

Part of my kid's homeschooling curriculum includes reading a lot of poetry.  It's so interesting, I almost forgot how much I loved poems growing up.  In high school, I would constantly write poems.  Poems about love, about disappointment, failure, death, or attempted death.  I was very emo to say the least. 

So homeschooling so far (week three done, starting week four) has been going and has had its ups and downs.  Mostly, I'm nervous about whether they're learning anything, definitely more than public school, but enough to make this endeavour worthwhile?  Verdict isn't out yet.  I've definitely noticed which of my children may actually most definitely benefit from this set-up in the long run.  I'm not sure about the others quite yet.  

I Wonder. 

It wasn't easy. 

It wasn't hard. 

It just kind of became. 

But do they see me?  Do they hear me?  Or am I like the blurred blare of a voice they can't make out?

This feels right.  This feels like my time. But not as much when I'm losing my voice yelling. 

Frustrated. Dejected. Tired. 

Happy. Proud. Accomplished. 

I wonder. 

Day Three: Are My Kids Growing Up?

Wednesday was a joy.  We finally got some of our English textbooks, so I felt good about teaching two of my kids and just using the downloaded PDF versions for one child.  Despite being completely exhausted and utterly drained by 2 PM, the morning was so great.  To have a kid sit on my lap while we go through their work, to have the kids play for 15 minutes on the apps they've downloaded, to have a kid calm down and speak gently to me, it was all SO SO weird!  It's as if they respect me as a teacher mom, and are able to enjoy having their mom spend some one on one time with them.  And it was so exciting to see them learn with me!  Cooper was fine by himself until about 11 AM, and then we distracted him by giving him some bells.  Once he tired of that, we grabbed the xylophone bells.  Sometimes Dagny will ask for some ipad learning time while the boys are doing their apps (NightZookeeper for English and Prodigy for Math), for 15 minutes.  I oblige willingly, but then Cooper just wants to play on the ipad for the rest of the day while the others are learning.  That does become a bit of a problem.  But really not paying too much attention to him has been key.  

I also managed to clean 4 of our 5 toilets (it's the Wednesday chore we always do), and the kids helped with dishes and tidying up.  The boys had baseball practice at 6 PM, and the littles and I joined to go play on the playground for a bit.  I rewarded myself with a quick trip by Swig on the way over, and enjoyed sharing the drink with my kids too.  Good hump day, I really hope this homeschooling positivity continues.  Because so far, I'm loving it.  

Day Two: Regret is Painful

 Today was difficult.  It's only the second day Daisy, I know - I know. But let me explain.  Dagny had a music lesson that was in person with a studio that is deemed safe and is doing all the necessary things and taking precautions to keep us distanced and safe.  Not a problem.  I had to bring the other kids with me.  They had Chinese worksheets to practice character strokes and memorization in the car.  I brought an ipad for the youngest, there are shape learning games he can play.  I expected to sit with them.  But it was a parent class and I had to attend with Dagny.  There were only five of us in class with our kids.  Everyone started to talk about back to school since it had just been the day before for most of the people in our nearby neighborhoods.  This, my friends, is when regret hit.  All of a sudden, I had that knee jerk reaction of WHY THE HECK WOULD YOU KEEP ALL YOUR KIDS AT HOME WHEN YOU'RE ONLY A FEW YEARS FROM BEING AWAY FROM THEM ALL?!?!?!  ARE YOU CRAZY?!?! 

I think I have to explain that one of the huge reasons we are attempting homeschool is because I want my kids to learn Chinese but I'm kind of done with the Chinese immersion program we were attending.  I could send my kids to the regular English school but then they would be in school until 3:30 PM and by the time we settled at home and relaxed, I'd have to teach them Chinese before our evening dinner and activities resumed.  Or, we'd have to wake up super early to learn before school.  And where's the incentive for anyone to do that?  Instead, I started to think about how my kids who have started school all missed being with me, spending time with me, exploring with me, and playing with their friends.  For me as a child, school was my only outlet to see friends and learn.  I looked forward to school every summer and dreaded my long boring summers at home with super workbooks and nothing else.  But my kids have a different life at home.  Their mom is available to do stuff, experiment, projects, field trips, all that jazz.  So I had always wondered if homeschooling was an option that would give me the opportunity to take my kids out to explore and learn in a different way than at school.  So along with being able to learn Chinese together, we would also be able to go and do fun things and learn in non traditional ways.  The first time I even got this idea was when we were doing a rotation as a family of five in Washington D.C.  There was a family there who homeschooled (they also had chickens, I'm not sure why this is important but I think it explains my fascination with wanting to raise chickens too - don't worry, Andy has said no repeatedly and I'm not winning this one) and the mother had come from a homeschooling family herself.  Apparently, her family was amazing.  A bunch of kids and they all went to Ivy League schools and now she was homeschooling her crew.  I found her Instagram because we had some mutual friends, she was actually in our Church Ward at the time we were visiting but I didn't meet her or her sister, but heard about them.  I spent hours scrolling through her Instagram account, wondering if I could ever homeschool my kids.  It seemed amazing.  Exploring with your kids.  Learning through reading and being, rather than an institutionalized approach.  Hmm.  It definitely peaked my interest.  But to be honest, I was exhausted just scrolling through her feed.  Plus I was physically exhausted as is, wandering around the City with three kids and no car.  I created a tab and filed it until recently.  And I guess the more I have been wondering about it, the more I have wanted to try it.  I'm sure the feed was a bit glorified, and as my thoughts of regret have peaked on my second day, I'm positive there's going to be a lot of ups AND downs definitely, but it was part of the reason why I wanted to try it.  

So after music we ended up going to Lakeshore Learning to pick up some stuff.  I was looking for math manipulatives, a word I had seen tossed out in the Facebook Homeschool groups I'm a part of now, but it ended up looking like junk I didn't want in my house.  Instead, we got some stopwatches and Dagny and Cooper both got a fun lil activity book - Dagny's was a mosaic mermaid peel and stick thing and Cooper's was a water powered look and find book.  We also got some dry erase markers and a map, because I also want to do some geography with my kids.  And then we headed to Chic Fil A because I wanted a salad and McDonald's just doesn't satisfy.  Plus the lemonade at Chick Fil A is so good.  We had an appointment at the library so we headed back to grab a book, but I ended up grabbing a bunch of display books the library had in their roped off area.  And then, we finally made it home to eat.  I fell asleep that afternoon during our scripture and meditation hour, and half asleep kept commanding my kids to hurry up and read some scriptures and meditate.  When I finally woke up, we had to grab some food to prepare dinner, so we went off to the store again with masks.  We're getting pretty good at masking up together.  I didn't want to leave my kids alone in the car with the AC on, so instead I piled them into the grocery cart with my phone and a show on, and I ran about to grab items while they sat there in the store.  

But then we had some neighbor friends come over while I prepared dinner and just relaxed.  Dinner came too fast, and then the normal nighttime workload.  I work every evening from 8:30 - 10:30, but it gets me out of bedtime and I'm okay with it.  It is kind of weird to work every night again, but it does make me really value my weekends.  Now with homeschooling, I'm feeling quite busy every day.  But I'm trying to give myself some grace until I figure things out more.  And that's why we ate out, and likely will eat out a bit more until things normalize.  

Day One: Here We Go....!

We began homeschooling on Monday and it was.... well, first of all, we don't even have all our supplies yet.  So many people are turning to homeschooling that most of the textbooks and curriculum we ordered still aren't here yet.  So that presented the first challenge.  Second, we had just returned from an amazing Lake Powell trip with Andy getting some kind of stomach virus, so the entire weekend felt like a slap in the face with vacation withdrawals and a sick husband who couldn't do anything.  Not quite how I had planned the days leading up to our first day of homeschooling, but oh well.  Sometimes you just gotta roll with the punches you're given, right?  

I had gotten some advice from experienced homeschoolers to "unschool" my kids a little bit, but given my own upbringing, I couldn't bring myself to completely "unschool" them.  We halted the zoom Chinese meetings I had been running with their peers twice a week all summer, and we did less rigid math worksheets each day.  But I wanted to really wanted to give my kids a fun first day experience and a learning environment that was conducive to my sanity - so organized and put away when we weren't doing it (since the dining room is essentially our schoolroom).  I made some last minute trips to Walmart and Target on the hunt for some storage and cute room decor.  I ended up moving some boards around the house so we had a "white board" to learn on, and repurposed some of our existing storage to create school supplies easily accessible.  I even made a "Phillips Classroom 2020" list of rules for the kids to go over the first day.  But we hadn't finalized when piano lessons would be.  And I hadn't figured out if teaching the kids the same subject across all three kids would work better than having them do different subjects.  And I certainly hadn't figured out what Cooper was going to be doing while the big kids were in school.  So my mind was a little bit of a hot mess, trying to calculate and plan, and figure out everything.  

We started out the first day by taking photos of everyone with their "first day of school" signs.  Cooper is actually the only one going into school twice a week, but he doesn't start until September, but as always, he wanted to be included, and he couldn't wait for his turn.  This quality would become very useful throughout the day.  As we started out, Dagny started demanding to learn addition.  In her mind, she was ready for first grade math.  I had plans for her to work on writing her numbers correctly, but according to her, she already knew how and was ready to do addition!  Not quite what I had expected.  Meanwhile, Jordan and Bubba were loving the online writing game I had subscribed to, and Cooper was busy going over some Mickey flashcards I got on clearance at Target.  He asked me when everyone was going to school, and when I told him this was school, he gave me a scoff, laughed, and said, "this isn't school Mom!" and it cracked me up.  He definitely has an idea of what school is, he was expecting us to take everyone to school, and he was happily disappointed as he got his siblings to play with all day.  I went over some math with Jordan and Bubba, and Dagny and Cooper ended up playing with some of our learning puzzles nearby.  It was all feeling good.  But then we got to Chinese, and I realized holy smokes, there is a lot I have to teach.  In order to fully get our kids immersed in the Chinese language, not only do they have to understand the characters, they have to know how to use it in a sentence, and then write it, but not just write it, but in the correct stroke order.  Chinese is a very difficult language!  I'm starting to appreciate my own Chinese education a lot more than ever before.  

Andy's cousin is also currently homeschooling so the kids got to have a fun playdate with her kids in the afternoon.  We went for our annual ice cream on the first day of school tradition, and the kids all said they had a great day.  

I Can't Sleep!

I can't sleep lately, my mind has been a whirlwind of new information and the adrenaline of processing and analyzing all the new terminology, scheduling, and homeschooling process as we attempt to do it through a public charter school which supports us, provides accountability and guidance, and most importantly... funding... is absolutely insane and wonderful all at once! 

I spent a few days just reading and reading through the MyTechHigh parent link, absorbing all the information, and then really trying to understand how the entire process works.  I joined facebook groups, read through posts and comments, and then did a bunch of research on my own online, talked to friends I have who homeschooled, and friends who were also planning to make the switch.  It's a new community I've suddenly become a part of and it's exciting, and scary, and fun - all at once!

It made me realize, I probably need to go back to work once my kids are done with school.  Or have a side hustle.  Or invest in a bunch of new hobbies.  Even though I have looked forward to the future two years ahead when I'd be able to leisurely dine with girlfriends over slow relaxing lunches, I hadn't really thought about the rest of my day, and what that might look like.  I've dived straight into maintaining our household routines and finances, but that only keeps me occupied for part of the day.  There's something magnetic and thrilling about this new adventure of homeschooling that has kept me awake at night (literally) and it feels like I'm pumped with caffeine (even though I don't drink any caffeine, not even diet soda). 

I have finally begun to use some of my abandoned skills from my working days in coming up with class descriptions for custom-built courses I am doing with my kids.  I have been trying to figure out a better excel workbook to track all the expenditures as well as the reimbursement and receipt process.  I have been joining zoom calls with Q&A, feeling like I'm in the work place again, and realizing I made a much larger sacrifice than I originally thought when I became a SAHM.  I do not have any regrets regarding my decisions, but I miss the high energy, demanding schedule and budget demands of my prior life.  Of course there's as balance, and I also don't miss the political drama or late nights, or when I messed up at work.  And I do love being able to sit in my pajamas until I feel like it, put make-up on whenever, take a nap here and there, clean my kitchen and watch my kids, etc. 

Perhaps I always was a bit curious about homeschooling, but never brave enough to attempt it.  The Covid-19 situation has really provided me with a new opportunity to try it, even if for a year, and I have no idea what will happen.  I may go insane the first day or week of homeschooling.  I may love AND hate it, which is the likely outcome, but I am super excited, as if I'm starting work at a new company, for the first time, so at least there's that. 

A New Normal and Adventure: Homeschooling

Perhaps I stopped blogging a while back because I became more active on Instagram.  When new ways of journaling pop up, the old ways seem to take a back seat.  My husband also invested time and money into videotaping all our adventures, and so our historian duties quickly transferred to him.  And I seriously have too many Chatbooks that making more seems more of a problem finding where to put them than making a significant historical impact.  But now a new journey has taken over our lives, and I want to capture it, and so I've returned.

We've decided to homeschool our children.  Given the current climate with covid and the restrictions placed on our kids with so many unknowns about how long all of this may last, I reluctantly revisited an idea I've always been interested in, but always a bit fearful to approach.  I am 100% a mask wearer and supporter, but even after donning a mask on for a quick grocery store trip, I am nauseous and my head hurts from the mask.  I had to wear one yesterday on an Uber ride home from the car dealership where service was looking at my broken sliding doors (which magically worked 100% throughout the day while being diagnosed, of course) and the car was a cocktail of Lysol that nauseated me for hours after returning home.  I just can't imagine my children being able to effectively learn Chinese (when you can't even see the teacher's mouth moving) or anything else.  The Chinese immersion program we had been a part of was so amazing, but when distance learning hit in March, my kids were trying hard to just maintain what they had learned, and definitely didn't learn anymore.  And yet I can't fault the teachers, they're all struggling as much as the next person with their kids suddenly home and trying to find curriculum to put online and learn new technology for this new normal.

I had always wanted to homeschool, but truth be told I was afraid of the stigmatism surrounding it.  The old "your kids will be so socially awkward" myths, the dilemma of how to "socialize kids normally" when they're home with you all day (I'm pretty cool, if I do say so myself), and the constant responsibility and workload of having kids with me 24/7 -  I mean I am two years away from having my kids all in school and being able to take adult lunches with adults.

But what ultimately me convinced me was the combination of the temporarily unknown as we navigate the new normal, and the ease of doing it based on all the tools now available as more people lean towards homeschooling.  Homeschooling isn't what it was 10 years ago, much less 20 or 30 years ago.  The industry has grown with attempts to help guide children to grow and learn, and if I ever wanted to homeschool, this is the time to do it when they're all relatively young and I can't screw them or their education up that much.  I'll have three kids in school: a kindergartener, second grader, and fourth grader, and one three year old just around for kicks and giggles.

I've found a charter school that keeps me accountable and provides funding as I approach my first efforts.  I've been pouring over the guidance and scouring the learning options, and I plan to attend a live session tomorrow for Q&A.  I've also been talking to friends who have homeschooled before, picking everyone's brains, and managing my own expectations as I predict I will go crazy a few times throughout the year with my kids home so often.

It's not what I expected.  It's not what I planned.  But it seems like the best option given I am already a SAHM.  It is an investment, a huge responsibility, and something I'm not quite ready for, but am prepared to learn and try my hand at.  I'm not sure what will happen, if my kids will love or hate this upcoming year, but either way, it would have been a weird year anyway.

New Year, New Me!

Just kidding, same old me.  Just more tired, waiting for those white hairs to show up, with a bit saggier skin and more crows feet than the year before.  I love goal making, so I always make big grand goals, and I always fail to meet them, but over the years, I manage to accomplish something.  The key is, I never compare to anyone else, just myself, and if I've improved a bit, then hooray!

I spent most of 2018 taking back my home.  I became sick of the piled up diaper boxes, kid toys, and wipes and trash that seemed to take over our home.  I started seeking out the Marie Kondo in more depth than originally (originally I scoffed at how anyone could realistically do that with kids) by actually reading the book and starting to go through some of her categories.  It was a slow arduous process, but over the course of the year, I managed to get into every single room, closet, space, corner, you name it.

So then in 2019, I wanted to take back my body.  Start to work out more consistently and eat better.  I'd say I'm better than I was in 2018, but not sure I actually accomplished my goal for 2019 to get my body back.  It's back, but it's still postpartum back.  I'll take a look at the ten year differences for people like Khloe Kardashian (hint: she is 5'10 and lost about 40 pounds and look amazing but also eats like nothing and works out all the time... not sure how realistic that is for myself) and think I need to do this again, but then a whiff of some McDonald's fries, and I'm back in my happy medium. My pants fit, even if there's a tiny shroom on top, the big shirt covers it, and I'm okay.

So now that 2020 has rolled around, I've been all consumed about taking back my mind.  I'm trying to read more, and everyone has told me to listen to audiobooks, but I just love reading words and slowly hearing the words in my mind.  There's something about actually taking in the words that I love, so even though I'll do podcasts for some things that are fun to listen to, I still enjoy the act of seeing the words and processing them that way.  Along with taking back my mind, I'm trying to do some tutorial videos in line with my work at my mom's school, Breakthrough Training Center.  I've got some exciting ideas, and am really looking forward to producing some hopefully useful content.  And then, out of nowhere, I also decided I wanted to stretch everyday and finally try to do the splits.  My entire life, I've had two resolutions over and over, and I've never managed to get there.  One is not biting my nails, and the other is doing the splits.  I've had spurts of pretty nails, but it never seems to last more than a month, and I'd like to get to the point where I can get a beautiful manicure and say, look at my beautiful hands.  As for the splits, the closest I got was after a year of the dance team in high school, but then I didn't do it my senior year, and well... the closest I ever got was 1999.

I know some people are scared of "resolutions."  There's been so much talk about changing the way you look at resolutions, making it a habit instead of a goal, but to me, it's all the same thing.  I make resolutions all throughout the year.  All throughout my life.  How else will I change and grow and improve myself?  I've been goal setting for years, failing, falling short, but still growing even if in tiny bits.  I think resolutions are great.  And I don't think you need to reword it to reframe your mind, as long as you realize you're probably not gonna get there right away, and you're probably not gonna reach your goal, and fall short of it instead, but that's still better than status quo.

Happy New Year!