Thursday, June 30, 2011

The Magic of Turning Eight Weeks Old

Ever since Jordan came home with us, my incessant reading of how to, what to do and what not to do pregnant websites and newsletters plethora of advice had me believing six weeks old would be the magical week when Jordan would sleep more and we would no longer be sleep deprived. Everyone made fun of me - what was wrong with me? Why did I somehow think the switch would go off and the milestone of SIX weeks would become better? I'm not sure - I guess you just cling onto the hope of something better than what you are currently enduring. You secretly hope your kid will be the outlier, small 5% that magically sleeps longer starting at six weeks without a change in routine - just a magical switch.

And then you reach six weeks. And nothing happens. And then you realize... adapt. adjust. accept.

So that's exactly what I did. I was lucky to have May here with me because between the two of us, the average wake up time was usually 9 or 10 AM with someone (mostly May) keeping Jordan company in the morning since that is when he's most alert and happy to interact and naptime was actually possible!

Jordan turned 8 weeks old this past Saturday and I had no expectation for any change. To my surprise, beginning Sunday (and hopefully I'm not jinxing myself here...), Jordan has consistently been going to sleep at 10 or 11 PM with a feeding at 2 or 3 AM and a wake-up feeding at 6 or 7 AM. The wake-up feeding is nice because that's when Andy gets up to get ready for work (I hesitated using the word "work" since it conveys he is being paid when he is not...) so simultaneously, Jordan gets to play with both of us!

The magic of turning eight weeks old may or may not be magic. It may be a fluke, but I'll take whatever I can!

In other news, our days without May have been lonelier in the home which has encouraged Jordan and me to bust out all my old Disney soundtracks (Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Lion King, Pocahantas), and venture out on walks with our neighbors, lunch with friends and trips to the mall (we love free a/c and nice Nordstrom mothers' lounges). Today, Jordan officially turned TWO MONTHS OLD! We took some photos of him in his diapers (always a happy time for him) in hopes of tracking his size changes with time. And I leave you with that...

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Something Familiar and Not Too Far Away...

Yesterday, Jordan and I trekked over to Arcasia to have lunch with three of my four bridesmaids, two were visiting - one from San Diego and the other from Hawaii and we all call Arcasia our hometown so naturally we met there to dine.

Though we only live a short 10 miles away .... absent a direct freeway, it takes roughly 20-30 minutes of commute time. I usually avoid making the trip to Arcasia but lately, the reality of my lil family moving for Andy's residency combined with a growing grandson who may move away encourages me to make the trip out there more often to visit my parents and brother - especially since I'm not working! I started with yesterday's trip.

Lunch was so much fun with the girls! It's always comforting to meet with old friends and catch up, gossip and talk about life. It helps me to imagine the feelings of homecoming that will be felt when we are reunited with loved ones after this life. And if that is what we have to look forward to, why wouldn't it make sense to make the most out of this life here and now?! It's something familiar and not too far away...

These are my girlfriends from back home from left to right, Grace (San Diego resident these days), Wendy (Hawaii wanna-be local these days) and Annie (who treks between Arcadia and Brentwood), Julia was missing cuz she had to work....sucker! (ps I am loving maternity leave in case you didn't know) This photo was hard to take and after three tries, we settled. Sorry Baby Jordan - your mouth is cut off!

After lunch with the girls, Jordan and I headed over to my parents' house to find my mom, wai puo. While there, I fed him and enjoyed the nice cool room (my parents leave their AC on 24/7 in the summer,something we can't afford) and Jordan also enjoyed some tummy time on wai-puo's couch. I realized something about Jordan today. He sure likes attention. Attention of my girlfriends and attention of my mom snapping photos of him.
Besides eating, pooping, peeing, sleeping, cooing, and farting, Jordan is also missing his nama (Andy's mom is grandma but our nieces call her nama). He was lying on a mat when May called and was on speaker and he must have recognized her voice because he got really excited all of a sudden and started doing that arm flapping mouth opening thing he does. It was fantabulously adorable-errific!

Monday, June 27, 2011

Don't You Wish Your OGO Was Awesome Like Ours?

Some grandkids call their grandfathers "grandfather" or "poppy" or "gramps" or "grandpa." Still others call their grandfathers by the native translation such as "wai-gong" or "gong-gong" if they are Mandarin. But Andy's dad has long outwitted all of these aforementioned grandfathers by giving himself a name for his grandkids to address him with. He is known to all as "OGO," which stands for "Oh Great One!"

My sister-in-law, Tammy, more creative than any of us in the family, spearheaded the effort for OGO's Father's Day gift this year - it was a tough project because Jordan can't quite sit yet and the first few photos we liked of him were deemed "constipated" photos by Tammy and her husband, Jeff. Unrelenting, we fought and resisted them and they eventually acquiesced and used another photo of Jordan (but to their credit, we retook a photo again since they would not use the original submissions). Likewise, we politely asked for another photo of Violet, one that had her happier and smiling, though her hair was a little more messy.... Alas, Tammy and Jeff also begrudgingly changed a photo, all in the name of family compromising.

Here was the final masterpiece for OGO although his is in a nice frame and ours is just a photo. I know - you want to do it next year for all the fathers in your life too. Go for it! Super cute idea huh?

Sadly we weren't able to spend Father's Day with OGO, but we did call him and wish him a Happy Father's Day! OGO not only is a great example of a priesthood holder, a husband and father, but he's also the best game inventer ever - serious, he came up with this dragon/princess game for Sophie and he loves coming up with scavenger hunts too! Andy and I can't wait to see what games OGO creates for Jordan although part of me is already imagining all the mischievous adventure the three generations of Phillips boys will get into....oh boy.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

My Baby's Daddy

My baby's daddy didn't really get a Father's Day gift on Sunday. This was compounded by the fact that our one year anniversary was also Sunday. My baby's daddy didn't get a reminder of how great he is to Jordan.

Here's what my baby's daddy should hear if my baby could speak.

Dear Daddy,

I think I will call you that until I am old enough to call you pops. Or maybe I will just call you old man then. I look up to you (literally) but only when you help me to stand up or sit up or when I'm doing tummy time because my neck is not yet strong enough. I know I can't tell you how happy I am when you come home because I can't speak and my face cannot really make facial expressions besides that which come from my farting and pooping or hunger, but I am. I love Grandma and Mommy too but sometimes, there's just too much estrogen at home without you. They love to chat and take me places and even talk and sing to me, and of course tell me how cute I am but I like my manly daddy who shows me furniture building, tells me about all the cool toys I'll get to play with soon, who teaches me about golf and sports and even some of the medical stuff you're studying. I like when you study your scriptures with me because you make it fun, even at my age. I like when you hold me because you're stronger than Grandma or Mommy (but I like them too). I don't like when you clean my tongue, put saline in my nose, but I like the funny way you look at me after. If I could smile, I would do it right away and tell you how much I love you and want to be like you. I hope to be athletic in the future and hope my hands and feet really do indicate my future athletic potential career. But if not, I know you will still love me. I like the stuff you wear to Church on Sundays and I hope we get a few father/son outfits in the future. I also hope I'm just as tall as you (maybe even taller!) I like when you walk around with me in the Bjorn and I don't fidget as much as when mommy does it. I like when you talk to me even when I'm sleeping and I like when you calm me down when I'm hungry and mommy is taking too long. I think you're an amazing dad and I can't wait to tell you myself when I can speak. I appreciate you telling me about my cousins before I met them - you gave me great insight to their personalities and I felt more calm around them because of that. I like how you tell me you love me and mommy. You make me feel safe. I love you daddy! I hope you had a great Father's Day even though I didn't get you anything and mommy didn't either.


The Choice We Made a Year Ago

In life, we have many choices. As I think back on the choices I have made in life, it's difficult to distinguish which were my choices, which were ones my parents made for me, and which were accidental choices. What's easy to conclude are the good and bad choices and the ability to learn from them. Some choices don't matter much, and we forget about them easily whereas some are a lot more difficult and take careful consideration.

About a year ago (June 19th), my choice to marry a worthy priesthood holder in the Temple was sealed for all time and eternity. His choice to take me as his wife was also sealed forever.

Our choice to become one then led to other choices. Our choices are often sacrifices for the other's happiness but in reality, the consistency of such thoughtfulness has enabled me to call 'em fun learning moments. In just a short year, we have learned so much about ourselves and each other.

Here's what I've learned about Andy (list is not conclusive):
  • He can sleep through anything (pretty nice at night when Jordan's crying)
  • He dislikes spiders but will man up and kill 'em for me
  • He doesn't care for closing the kitchen or medicine cabinets (they have to be opened again)
  • He loves playing the piano
  • He farts a lot
  • He loves Jimmer
  • He loves BYU football, basketball, golf and Jimmer again
  • He loves taking naps
  • He loves being a daddy
And here's what I've learned about myself (list is also not conclusive):
  • I am a tech dummy
  • I like making the bed in the morning
  • I like grocery shopping alone but I like help unloading
  • I don't turn off the TV when it's in RGB mode
  • I fart a lot but mine don't stink
  • I like learning how to cook even if only my husband thinks my food is good
  • I don't like taking naps
  • I'm learning how to be a mommy
And here's what I've learned about us:
  • We love each other
  • We love Jordan
  • We love our family
  • We love going to the Temple
  • We love the gospel
  • We love eating
  • We love when Jordan grunts and moans as he farts in his sleep
  • We love using correct contractions
  • We love learning how to be better parents
We agreed not to spend money on each other but we both spent approximately $5 making each other thoughtful (which means very time consuming) DIY gifts. I made Andy a scrapbook recounting each month of our first year (but since we agreed not to spend money, I used the existing materials I had and glued everything onto empty pages from our guestbook which was only 3 pages filled out.. hahaha, resourceful am I!). Andy made me a sweet slideshow that spanned from before we were married to now (and I knew he was up to something since he used my work computer complete with a ton of our photos without the internet working). May watched Jordan for us (so grateful for her and her love for Jordan) while we snuck away to Umami Burger for dinner - their burgers are small but they are so satisfying and the meat is just juicy! So all in all, our one year anniversary was short, simple and sweet.

I know we're novice at this whole marriage thing, but we're pretty stoked about what lies ahead. At least I am.. can't speak for Andy but I do cuz we are one.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Jordan's 2 Week and 6 Week Stats

Because who doesn't love reading about my baby's stats at two and six weeks? (answer: anyone besides Jordan's grandparents, aunts, uncles.... that's about it).

2 weeks:
Height: 21 inches, 50%
Weight: 8 lb 10.5 oz, 50%
Head: 37 1/4 cm

6 weeks:
Height: 23 inches, 75%
Weight: 11 lb, 11 oz, 50%
Head: 39 cm

I'm sure there's some medical explanation behind why head size is important (like say, some indication of the brain growing correctly and timely) but who cares? What I want to know is what percentile my baby's hands and feet are in - cuz they are pretty dang big and I think they are indicative of height and how athletic he may be, but I'm a bit crazy like that.

I Get It Now!

I now have a finer appreciation for the toting moms that declare their undying love for their adorable offspring without end. I used to wonder if I could ever feel such love for a tiny being that I didn't know for nine months while he/she was inside me creating havoc. I used to wonder how I would all of a sudden "fall in love" instantaneously with someone I just met (love at first sight... please, that's a myth!)! I used to wonder if the fatigue would wear on me and I would harbor resentment and yearn for my days prior to my posterity's debut. My wondering has ceased.

It's pretty spectacular.

As tiring as it gets, as much as I wish he'd be one of "those babies" who sleeps through most of the night with only one feeding (those lucky moms are far and few), I am adapting and adjusting and I can't get over how cute he is and how much of the world he is taking in with each breath, each gulp, each glance, each yawn, each kick, each smirk, each grunt, each moan, each pee, each poop, each moment of each second of each day!

I know I'm biased because only friends and family tell us how cute he is, strangers just say, "oh, can I see the baby?" ... silence, but I don't even care! That's how cute I think he is and I could care less what anyone thinks because I love staring at him. At him during tummy time, at him when he's sleeping, at him when he's grunting, at him when he's eating, at him when he's fussy, at him when he's cooing, at him when he's being held.

It's like an obsession unrivaled with any other fad or school girl crush I've ever had. And it makes me laugh because finally, I can empathize with those crazy parents that can't stop talking about their kids, can't stop showing you new photos of their kids, can't stop telling you way more than you ever asked about their kids.

I get it now! I really really do. And what's even more spectacular is the fact that Heavenly Father loves each and every one of us as much, if not more than we love our lil ones.

Andy always mentions how hard it is for him to put saline solution into Jordan's nose and then pump out his boogers with the squeeze green thing the hospital gives us (what's it called?). Jordan doesn't understand we are trying to help him and instead cries and fights back, resisting our help. Once the booger is out, he may feel comforted by the clear breathing, but he still has not a clue that the saline solution and pump thing were what got the booger out. The association of the solution and problem solver are beyond him. Much like how we often don't see how Heavenly Father is trying to guide us and help us. We see the present obstacles as painful and distracting and reject it, fight back and complain. But if only we had the bigger picture. If only we waited to see what boogers got cleared for us, then we might not be so fidgety.

Guess we could all learn from babies.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

People Are Just So Nice

Last year, we hosted our buddies from the Singles Ward at Andy's apartment (now our apartment) every Sunday. It was a really fun Sunday activity - we would potluck with great friends and then put them to work making Martha Stewart poms in light and dark purple. I ordered tissue paper from a local downtown wholesale supplier so we had a LOT of tissue paper. Understatement of the year. Just know every gift from here on out until probably 2020 will be wrapped with light or dark tissue paper with creases in them from the leftover poms we prepared. Ha! (We literally have four or five dozen folded and stapled poms in the closet storage).

The funny part is - that was only the prep. Once we were at the wedding reception hall, there was the act of puffing the poms. Our wedding party (and significant others) and super duper close friends flew in early to visit and play in LA, some went with me to the Temple for the first time, and of course - to come and help spruce up the basketball court!

I can't believe it's already been a year since all the wedding hoopla that was our life this time last year. These days, it's all about Jordan who is preciously sleeping away (uh-oh for my upcoming night shift) on the wannabe boppy and I am considering stealing away to the Apple Store for 45 minutes (I have been waiting since his last feeding but he is sleeping a lil too well!)...but I digress. Even though I can't believe how fast time flies, even more so, I cannot believe how kind our family and friends have been regardless of the situation.

Last year - it was to help with wedding stuff.

This year, it is to help with the new baby.

I am blown away and just baffled by the outpouring of love and time everyone has given us whether it was folding tissue paper, gluing pieces of foam and googly eyes to marshmallows for our seating cards, puffing poms or whether it is bringing us meals, holding the sleeping baby, cleaning up the house, rearranging the furniture, or just spending time with the new mom who rarely went out those first few weeks. I know these angels are sent by God and I am so grateful for the nice people. Man, people are just so nice!

Monday, June 13, 2011

Two Years Ago... One Year Ago...

Today, as I was boob feeding Jordan, I received an e-mail from Elder Vera, a missionary who taught me some lessons back in April 2009. His message was short - "Isn't it two years since you were baptized?" Wow! I completely forgot that today indeed marks a momentous occasion!

I cannot believe it has been two years. It seems like yesterday when I was blogging about my baptism.

Two years later, I have become one with another human, grown a human, and am currently producing milk. Things sure change a lot!

Around a year ago, I was showing my BF the basketball court (named "cultural hall" in all Mormon church buildings) where Andy and I were going to have our wedding reception free of charge - SCORE! Since it wasn't a church building I was familiar with, we both roamed in the hallways until we found the entrance to the cultural hall. We opened the door which was unlocked, excited that it was open and as soon as we stepped inside, the door closed behind us and we both gasped at the darkness that engulfed us. We stumbled around, looking for a light switch, astonished at how quickly it had gotten dark. We found a switch... it did nothing. We found another switch.. it also did nothing. We thought out loud about where else the light switch could be. We realized how big the room actually was. And then... it happened. The light was still off.. but we adjusted. We could see each other and the room pretty clearly now. We ignored our quest to find the light switch and began talking logistics of the reception. We finished and on our way out another door, we saw another switch and took a chance - tried it - and suddenly, our eyes squinted at the shock of the light. We had become accustomed to the dark, we were even able to see there, and this spark of light was drastically different and hard to digest all at once.

That is how I feel about my life with and without the light of Christ.

Before I was introduced to the Gospel, I always knew there was a God. Like everyone else in this world, my relationship with Him seemed to magnify during hardship when I would start a prayer with - If you're real, then I need to ask for your help or If you're out there... please answer me. I was essentially looking for the switch. But over time, not having a relationship with him, giving into the ways of the world, and justifying my own actions based on my own religion or philosophies of life, my eyes got used to the dark. I didn't need to find the switch anymore. I could navigate around the dark easily and did not even know I was in the dark. And then... once the light of Christ came into my life, it was hard to see at first. I found the switch. A little too much light. But once you have the light, why would you go back to the dark?

I am so grateful for having a relationship with Heavenly Father. I am so thankful for the Atonement and the understanding that it is for me and for you, and for everyone. I am so blessed that I found myself, found the truth, and found the light.

I like being the light more than the dark.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Not Living Up to the Asian Stereotype

I have not taken an obnoxious amount of photos of Jordan. I have not even tried to put his tiny fingers into a peace sign for a FOB photo. I'm a disappointment to the Asian stereotype.

Given I have two cameras and a flip, the majority of my photos should not be taken with my crackberry. Alas, they have been with the exception of when Andy is around and clicking away. I guess his half Asian stereotype is greater than my full one. That, or I'm just too tired and instead I have been enjoying my real time observations of Jordan growing. Whatever the case, through the eyes of my blackberry, one can see some pretty funny photos as well.

This one is the ugly photo of your kid you never want to post, but it's so funny - how can you not? It's as if he decided to give me the weirdest look ever in hopes that I would stop snapping photos on my phone of him (there's an annoying flash everytime)...
Do you LOVE his trendy lil Asian outfit? The fabric is UBER soft and perfect for him to sleep in (which accounts for 80% of what he does)

This one is him studying with Daddy. He seems so content whenever Daddy holds him and studies with him. Hopefully that means he'll be a brainiac like daddy and not bad at math like mommy.
His shirt says "Bananas over Mommy" ... hehe

This one is him saying... "enough with the photos Mom!" okay .... fine, no more.At least not until the Asian in me comes back and I am snapping away! You will love it like I loved it when I was a kid! Or at least, when you grow up and you have more photos than your friends ... ha!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

The Aroma of Sour Milk

Apparently, babies spit up a lot or so we've learned with Jordan's newly established (since a week ago) spit-up routine which is approximately four times a day. Add to that the fact that I am an overflowing, leaking, squirting milk machine makes for a lot of sour milk on our washcloths (thank goodness my Aunt Linda gave us 3 packets of 8 assorted baby soft washcloths and burp rags), mommy's clothes and Jordan's clothes... means the aroma of sour milk is one I am oh too familiar with these days. It is not unusual for Jordan to go through two to three outfits during the night due to blowouts and fatigued mommy not burping him enough before setting him on the diaper pad resulting in spit-up that soaks into his outfit before mommy has enough time to wipe it off. My stealth wiping speed is null during these moments. So now I warmly welcome the aroma of sour milk. On my clothes. In my hair. On Jordan. And from Jordan's mouth. Ha!

Monday, June 6, 2011

Burping Jordan

I love when we burp Jordan - it just cracks me up how cute he is while being held by the burper, mainly Andy. I also love the juxtaposition of his tiny face and Andy's gigantic hands. And lastly, I love the terror in his face (not a huge fan of the wailing but the face cracks me up so much I barely notice) as he is being burped, unsure what is happening or if it will end until a burp escapes his mouth and he is soothed with comfort. As you can see from the timeline of burping photos, he is not as scared anymore.

First week.... second week...third week... fifth week...

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Grocery Shopping Will Never Be The Same Again!

I haven't "really" gone grocery shopping until yesterday and it wasn't even "really" grocery shopping in the sense of reality since my mother in law was there to help. We know you can attach carseats on top of shopping carts but since we were not yet aware of how nor did we want to attempt, we maximized the two of us and grabbed two shopping carts - one for Jordan's carseat and one for normal grocery shopping. Completely legit and super smart of us - except once May is gone, what will I do?!

Do people just not grocery shop for a while? Moreover, how do single moms manage? Even if we knew how to attach the carseat to the shopping carts, there's still the next dilemma of where to load all the groceries when the trunk is occupied by the stroller. Yet another simple ordinary task that is challenging with child and has me thinking, how does everyone else do it?!

To add to the challenge is the fact that my ordinary grocery shopping is not a one stop deal. On average, I will stop by Fresh n Easy and Costco with occasional trips to Trader Joe's, Albertson's and Vons. Gone are the leisurely grocery escapades that once were a part of my weekly rituals - first thing I've noted is I must try to consolidate my shopping needs and trips and probably take advantage of the fact that my weekdays are now open for grocery shopping and space out any multiple trips.

It's absolutely fascinating that not only am I being taught daily lessons on patience, love, devotion, sacrifice and humility but also organization, multitasking and goal making with baby. Grocery shopping will never be the same again! But as cliche as it sounds and as much as any new parent will inform you, it is well worth it. He is well worth it.. Jordan that is, or whatever kid you or the next person may bring into this world. Just don't forget that when you're grocery shopping and wondering how everybody does it! Many a parent has grocery shopped and gotten by just fine and so will you... ahem, so will I, right?

Friday, June 3, 2011

If I Had a Girl Crush..

It would be on Zoey Deschanel. Okay, who am I kidding - I totally have a girl crush on her!

First, I think all girls with black hair and greyish blue eyes and a pale complexion are just gorgeous and I always secretly admire them from afar. I've loved Zoey's raspy voice and laid back 'tude since Elf, Yes Man! and 500 Days of Summer. Though I don't watch television much (my television shows pre-pregnancy consisted of The Office and The Community and post-pregnancy, I have entertained numerous episodes of How I Met Your Mother, Shark Tank, and Dancing With The Stars - I'm not sure what it is, but boob feeding tends to go by a lot quicker when you're watching a show!), I am quite excited about her upcoming sitcom on Fox, The New Girl. The trailer is hilarious and on many levels, I feel like I can relate to her dorky disposition. Anyhow, I will stop stalking her cotton commercial and online outfits and just enjoy the girl crush.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Even For My Jeans...

I think designer jeans came into play in the early 2000's. It must have been 2003 because prior to that, expensive jeans for mainstream laymen were Levi's, Mavis or Guess jeans. There was no True Religion, Seven for all mankind, Citizens of Humanity, 575, Rock and Republic, Joe's or Hudsons. In fact, tall people like yours truly hated wearing jeans because they never were long enough and everyone would ask me when the floods were coming with my high water pants. That all changed in 2002.

I'll never forget the moment I saw Kassie, my ballroom buddy from North Carolina, in those fabulous jeans. I stared at them for quite a while, and thought I just have to know where she got 'em! Kassie was tall like me so whatever jeans she had would fit me. She told me they were a brand called seven that she found at Nordstrom and how she also never wore jeans until now! The bad news was they were quite hefty in price, roughly around 100. "A HUNDRED BUCKS FOR JEANS? You have GOT to be kidding me," I told her. She reassured me they were well worth the price and were also surprisingly comfortable. I didn't trust her.

Until three years later when I invested in a pair myself. They did fit really well! And they were so long I had to get them hemmed (for free at Nordstrom of course). Wow! I quickly amassed four pairs of Seven for all mankind jeans, one of which was courtesy of United Airlines who lost my luggage during a training for which I needed jeans, one from my mom that we scored at a Black Friday sale at the local Macy's.

One day shortly after Andy and I were married and living in our apartment together, I turned the place upside down looking for one pair of my Seven jeans. They were nowhere to be found. I called my mom at home, asking her to look for me, frantically longing for them, but she was quite positive I had taken everything when I moved. I then gave up. A few months later, I again longed for my seven jeans and everytime we visited my parents, I would turn my old room upside down looking and then search all the closets and even laundry baskets (just in case). I knew they were there... somewhere! Another few months later, still not letting go of hope that I'd find them, I called my mom, patiently asking if she had seen my jeans. This time, she said she recalled they were somewhere in the house but she was too busy to find 'em at the moment and when she finally did, she had no luck. A few more months later, four unsuccessful search attempts later, I almost gave up hope. So I went through all the boxes at our apartment again, still unable to find them. Still no jeans.

After I gave birth to Jordan, I longed even more for these jeans because they were larger and might fit my post pregnant self so I again called home - this time asking my brother if he had seen them (since he took over my old room). He told me he'd keep an eye out but I was starting to lose hope!

And this is when I finally decided... maybe it's not too silly to pray about it. I mean... I know they are practically lost and completely gone at this point, but maybe, just maybe I can get some peace of mind from praying about it.

So I did exactly that.

I gave a short prayer - sincerely asking to find them or to have peace about not finding them and to move on already! I was so tired of obsessing over these pair of jeans, exhausting so much of myself that even the hefty price had already been relieved from the time spent looking.

I called my mom again - she was quite familiar with the ask - but I asked her if she remembered seeing them especially since they would probably fit my pregnant self much better. She said she knew which pair I was seeking, but still hadn't managed to find 'em yet. And then, POOF - she said, there might be one more place she could look.

Five minutes later.... she called me and told me she had found them!

Could it be? Really? Was all this effort something I could have bypassed had I just been humble enough to pray for some help in the first place? I felt so silly. I had prayed to find a pair of jeans. And I had my prayer answered.

I was embarrassed to tell Andy that I finally found my jeans because I prayed about it, but he was oh too familiar with the search - one that had commenced so shortly after we had been married and one I often went off to look for when we visited my parents.

We found the jeans this last Saturday which was the same day Andy's mom lost her glasses. We looked and looked for those glasses and even thought we had found 'em when Ike came in with a similar pair claiming he had found 'em (cruel joke but kinda funny actually). We removed the sofa cushions, looked underneath the sofa, all over the floor, in the bathroom, in the guest bedroom, on the table, in the kitchen... everywhere! With NO luck!

Two days went by and we still had not found it. So when most of our family left to the Almansor duck park in Alhambra, I asked Andy if we should pray about it. It again felt silly but it had worked such wonders with my jeans, maybe we should just pray about these glasses so we could either find 'em or forget about 'em already!

So we prayed.

The family came home from the park, told us how great it was - ducks AND turtles too! - and then, guess who found her glasses? They were in her purse the whole time! A place that we had looked but maybe overlooked?

It reminds me that we must not ever think our prayers are beyond Him. Even for my jeans.. even for May's glasses... even for whatever you may need to be okay. In our case, we found what we were looking for, but I have no doubt Heavenly Father would have answered our prayer either way - if we didn't find the jeans or the glasses, we would have been okay with it and would have ceased our search.

But we must not ever think our prayers are too little or too unimportant for even Him.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

With My Bare Hands

I've always know my hands were important tools - ones that help me create projects, type words, exclaim in disbelief, gesture happiness, motion frustration, and wave - yes wave. Lately, I have found new useful ways for my hands to operate.

The first happened Tuesday morning. I awoke to Jordan's grunty screams, on the verge of wailing which is basically his way of communicating, "Time to eat Mommy!" It had been two and a half hours since his last feeding so I was not too tired. I got up, untied the nylon we wrap around his swaddle (it's a good trick, more on that in a later post) and pulled him out. As he got ready to eat the boob, he let out a huge groan simultaneously with a loaded fart. As I was gearing up to switch positions, the potential blowout (I did not have time to look) began to come to realization as it began to leak onto my hands. With one hand on his back and one still on his neck, my hands cradled the incoming blowout and I pleaded for help from Andy who was dead asleep. I called his name a couple more times to no avail and finally, got up, still holding onto Jordan and trying my best to catch it all in my hands, urgently nudged Andy as I emphatically called out, "Andy! Daddy! Help PLEASE!!!" He awakened with a shiver and then groggily reverted back to his sleepy state of mind as I explained, "He had a blowout, I need help please!"

I guess I thought my bare hands could take care of it - but I was wrong.

The next happened this morning. After feeding Jordan one boob, it was time for him to get changed (it's also how I wake him up to focus on eating the other boob). He seemed so calm as I put him on the diaper changing table, and his eyes slowly fluttered open as he noticed me about to change him. I unbuttoned his onesie and glanced around for the pee pee washcloth, our new strategy for avoiding him peeing on us. We place a small washcloth on his pee pee and if he does decide to pee, we have something there to soak up his pee and usually nothing else gets wet. Since he had peed on his washcloth earlier this morning, there was no replacement washcloth yet. I stared down at him, so peaceful, still fighting to wake up and quietly groaning and thought I will just change him quickly, it will be okay. Of course, you can all guess - this is precisely when he decided to pee on me! Only it was just a bit and I successfully cleaned it with a wipe (and most of it went into his belly button). His new diaper was underneath him and ready to be fastened when all of a sudden, he decided to pee again! Only this time, there was a lot! I tried to follow the path of his pee, and without much there to help me, decided my bare hands would be able to catch his pee. I guess I forgot I have holes between my fingers that even when held together, are there!

Yes.. having a kid makes you think you're invincible - or it makes me think I am. Given the lack of sleep and newfound responsibilities, I also thought I had super powers that would help me catch watery poop and pee! Guess I have to remember there is only so much I can do with my bare hands!