I now have a finer appreciation for the toting moms that declare their undying love for their adorable offspring without end. I used to wonder if I could ever feel such love for a tiny being that I didn't know for nine months while he/she was inside me creating havoc. I used to wonder how I would all of a sudden "fall in love" instantaneously with someone I just met (love at first sight... please, that's a myth!)! I used to wonder if the fatigue would wear on me and I would harbor resentment and yearn for my days prior to my posterity's debut. My wondering has ceased.
It's pretty spectacular.
As tiring as it gets, as much as I wish he'd be one of "those babies" who sleeps through most of the night with only one feeding (those lucky moms are far and few), I am adapting and adjusting and I can't get over how cute he is and how much of the world he is taking in with each breath, each gulp, each glance, each yawn, each kick, each smirk, each grunt, each moan, each pee, each poop, each moment of each second of each day!
I know I'm biased because only friends and family tell us how cute he is, strangers just say, "oh, can I see the baby?" ... silence, but I don't even care! That's how cute I think he is and I could care less what anyone thinks because I love staring at him. At him during tummy time, at him when he's sleeping, at him when he's grunting, at him when he's eating, at him when he's fussy, at him when he's cooing, at him when he's being held.
It's like an obsession unrivaled with any other fad or school girl crush I've ever had. And it makes me laugh because finally, I can empathize with those crazy parents that can't stop talking about their kids, can't stop showing you new photos of their kids, can't stop telling you way more than you ever asked about their kids.
I get it now! I really really do. And what's even more spectacular is the fact that Heavenly Father loves each and every one of us as much, if not more than we love our lil ones.
Andy always mentions how hard it is for him to put saline solution into Jordan's nose and then pump out his boogers with the squeeze green thing the hospital gives us (what's it called?). Jordan doesn't understand we are trying to help him and instead cries and fights back, resisting our help. Once the booger is out, he may feel comforted by the clear breathing, but he still has not a clue that the saline solution and pump thing were what got the booger out. The association of the solution and problem solver are beyond him. Much like how we often don't see how Heavenly Father is trying to guide us and help us. We see the present obstacles as painful and distracting and reject it, fight back and complain. But if only we had the bigger picture. If only we waited to see what boogers got cleared for us, then we might not be so fidgety.
Guess we could all learn from babies.