I used to wonder what my objective in life was. It seemed to be a moving target hidden behind the backdrop of wanting a family. I was never embarrassed to admit that was my heart's one desire but it was often amusing to hear the reaction of others...
I recall a time when I had just made senior at the Firm and was conversing with a male coworker who asked where I wanted to be in five years. I knew exactly what I wanted - a husband, some kids and whatever else came with it. He was shocked. He figured career was first because in his eyes he saw me as successful and not the "be a stay at home mom kind of girl." He figured I'd want to be independent, travel, see the world and maybe even consider a rotation internationally with the Firm. I had considered the probability of meeting my future husband internationally, but didn't think a foreigner would understand my culture or ways. And quite frankly, traveling was something I always envisioned doing with my future family.
Career was important, it paid the bills, it kept me challenged and working throughout the week, but ultimately, it would take second place to a family. He couldn't believe I ultimately wanted to be a mom. His disbelief, though never explicitly commenting that motherhood was second rate to our current career path, implicitly did.
It infuriates me that so many people think being a "mom" is an alternative no successful woman would make. It's so common to just hire someone to nanny your kids that it seems more and more females are opting out of raising their own kids. And we wonder why society is turning out the way it is.... (I was bullied too as a kid ...but my mother helped and I'm still here today! more in another post on that)....
I'm not a mom yet, but I know, just from my mom alone, that it is the hardest but most rewarding job ever. And now, when I see all the other moms with young babies, toddlers, teens, college kiddos and even grown-ups, I am quite positive that it is a hard job that yes, anyone can do, but not everyone chooses to do and succeed at! The same skills of organizing, prioritizing, people managing, budgeting, and conflict resolution I have learned in the Firm will help me succeed as a mom (despite the likelihood of still failing at times) and though I may continue to make money or earn fancy titles in my current job, I lose out on amassing the skills to sew, cook, and interact with kids. It's all a trade off but the opportunity cost of working and putting off a family just don't bode in my favor.
1 comment:
:) I like your post. It's true, we can go out there and earn our 'title' in the world, but if we invest our love and talent in our children, we will make a hopeful success and joy in our posterity, and that's a lot of people!
Post a Comment