Still on Bedrest

I'm still on bedrest.  Everyone keeps asking me if this is the farthest I've ever gotten.  Sort of.  I actually went to 37 weeks and 5 days with Jordan, and I remember being mad that he was coming early because I was enjoying my time off from work and felt jipped on the two weeks he came early.  Funny, I don't have those same feelings anymore because with three kids at home, having a baby now just means I don't have to be pregnant anymore while dealing with three kids.

I've never enjoyed being pregnant.  I know it's something so special and lots of women love it, but I personally have never enjoyed it.  It's uncomfortable, the first three months are tiring and nauseating, and then once the baby is out, there is a long wait before you get your body back.  I don't mind it, obviously, I am willingly doing it four times, and enjoy the outcome, but it's nothing to rave about and I'd have nothing against getting a surrogate to do the dirty work for me.  I think society has a funny way of making you feel guilty about these feelings if you have them, like you're not a good mom because you don't LOVE the process of being pregnant and the magic your body can do.  Then again, with two premature babies, what magic can my body do?  It's a miracle I've made it so far this fourth time around, and I'm grateful, I am, but I also am so tired of being pregnant.

So last week I went in for my weekly check-up and I hadn't changed from the week before, still 3.5 cm dilated and 70% effaced.  On Friday morning, I couldn't feel the baby move, or it had been a while since I noticed it, so off to L&D I went.  They checked me, got the heartbeat, gave me some apple juice, and we waited for me to feel baby kick.  I was still 3.5 cm and 70% effaced, so there's been no change.  I think it's time I can officially come off of bedrest, but I'm also still coming off of a nasty cough, so I have to be resting and I do not want to go through labor while coughing/hacking up a storm.  So until my cough is 100% gone, let's hope baby keeps on cooking and my cervix stays the same.

This Christmas is unlike any I've had before.  Mostly because the bedrest is hindering, but also baby can come before Christmas or after Christmas, either way, it won't be easy - fatigue from a new baby or anticipation of going into labor at any moment during the holiday fun.  I should just be grateful.  Duh.  Easier said than done though...