This Thing Called Visiting Teaching

When I first became a member, I didn't take "visiting teaching" very seriously because it sounded so frou frou. (Visiting teaching is basically a program our Church determined through inspired revelation in which all the females get a buddy which we called "companion," and we go together once a month, to visit our assigned teachees, also females from our Ward. A "ward" is just a fancy schmancy way of designating between the different groups that meet in a church building. For example, three "wards" meet in our church building so to differentiate, we are three distinct wards.)

So despite all the many articles and testimonies shared by others for how wonderful visiting teaching was, I was still struggling with fully embracing it. In the singles ward, I reached out to my assigned teachees, never could align our schedules, and failed at ever meeting her in person. One of my other teachees happened to be a recent convert and co-worker of mine, so meeting with her was easy.

It wasn't until I graduated from the singles ward, ventured into the world of family ward, that I have finally begun to see and experience the blessings of visiting teaching.

It's hard to make friends in my new ward because it's massively humongous and because most of the wives belong to a club called "I'm a Dental Student Wife." It's neat for them to know so many people with little effort but luckily for me, I've had the same luck in terms of meeting people - only through visiting and home teaching. (Home teaching is another program our Church has only with priesthood holders (men) who go in two's to teach a family. Men frequently take their wives as companions if they're unable to locate their companion, so I've been lucky enough to tag along with Andy on a few occasions.) I've also successfully met a lot of the more experienced ladies who are so sweet and generous. One had us over for dinner upon first meeting me and the others always offer such kind and warm advice.

I'm excited for the friendships that have formed through visiting teaching and although I don't feel completely comfortable just randomly texting those I have met yet, it will slowly get there. Hehe. It's funny how friendship works... it takes a couple of awkward invitations, hanging out moments, and shared inside moments or jokes before you can truly feel comfortable. I'm grateful that visiting teaching is helping me get there and also really thankful that I always have someone to sit next to in Relief Society (our third hour of Church with all females) - my visiting teacher. Thank goodness for visiting and home teaching.

Even Sweeter Later

I was initially bummed that after almost 3 months, we still hadn't gotten our photos yet! Because sometimes, we just don't want to wait. Instant gratification seems to be the trend of today's world and in fact, I'm reminded of a talk Elder Utchdorf gave recently about the kids who were part of an experiment to wait on eating their marshmallows, and if they waited, they would be rewarded with more. Some waited... some did not. Then, fast forward a couple decades later, the same kids who were able to wait for the reward of more marshmallows, were more successful in their families, communities, work environments, etc.

So when we finally got out photographs this weekend... let me tell you, it was well worth the wait (even though I didn't really make the decision since our photographer is way busy and so popular that we just had to wait). Jimmy is so talented! I absolutely love the work he did for us! He captured all our love, excitement, fun and energy and did it so beautifully. We lucked out with a few key spots - the LACMA museum's red poles that matched my Chinese dress perfectly and cool light posts, the gorgeous nature of Cal-Tech, the bling bling Bentley limo (one of only two in the world!) we ran across, and of course, the beauty of the Los Angeles LDS Temple where we were sealed for all eternity.

And so, though it took a while...it is even sweeter later. If only we could all understand that and apply that in our lives. I guess I shall strive to do that even more now!

Check out our photos ...

http://www.gideonphoto.com/blog/blog/2010/09/ad-andy-and-daisys-big-day/

Be Thou Humble

Sometimes, I'm a big jerk.

Today, our "Relief Society" activity was listening to Chef Brad talk. He is quite popular during Education Week at BYU and he was coming to talk to us about healthy cooking. But being that yours truly used to subscribe to Shape magazine for years and more recently Women's Health (about all three copies before I discovered how bad it was), and years of reading girly magazines that always feature a "eat all this" or "only this" comparing a HUGE plate of high protein, high fiber meal to a sugary little bit of fat, I somehow felt I knew more than him.

As he talked on and on about over processed food and why it's bad, and told us to cook with more whole grains, I thought, I already know this though! We don't buy that much processed food! Ugh.... and then, all I could think of was, I still have to scripture study, I wanted to do Ab Ripper tonight, and doh, I have about an hour left of work to do and I really want to go to sleep at 10 (Andy has got me into the habit of early sleeping). But somehow, I ended up in the middle of a row quite far back and did not feel right just getting up and leaving. Something told me I should just stick it out despite my mind constantly wandering back to the fact that my computer was in my car, so maybe I could sneak off, do some work, and then come back in time to snag my tray (I made cookies with some special flour recipe of his that they gave me Sunday) and bring it home.

Ugh! That is how I felt. Frustrated, stressed, and stuck! I was fiddling with my phone (I know, not that polite but I was so far back and I had TONS of work e-mails to respond to), and quite ADD.

And then, Chef Brad started to talk about how food can bring people together. He told us about how he does Third Sunday dinners in which he invites a bunch of friends, investigators, recently baptized, and couples who he knows will fellowship. I started sitting up a little taller and if you looked at me, you could tell I was paying attention now. He told a bunch of stories about how it was just food, but it got a lot of people there in his home with other members, and once there, the Spirit did the rest.

This is exactly what I've been praying about. Andy and I recently got called as Ward missionaries and we have both been praying about how we can better fulfill our calling and to be perfectly honest, I have been absolutely lost. How do you share the gospel with more people? How do you find people seeking truth? How do you better help the missionaries? It's almost as if Chef Brad knew I was bored and knew I was waiting to hear his testimony. He went on, and all I could do was feel the Spirit prompting me to take action.

And then Chef Brad reminded us that Jesus first fed people physically, then spiritually.

I want to be like Jesus. I am unsure if I have the funds to do something as big as Chef Brad (his last dinner had about 70 people), but I think we can manage something. We've got awesome neighbors that I REALLY want to share the gospel with but am unsure how to begin the conversation. But regardless of that, I just want to share food with people and have a good wholesome Sunday, so that will be the first and foremost objective of a Sunday dinner. Plus, I don't have many friends in the Ward yet. Hehe.

Exciting!!!

Oh yes, and be thou humble. I definitely thought.. .why am I here, I wish I was there, blah blah, etc. etc. and yet, I was the one who needed to be there because I needed to hear what Chef Brad had to say - maybe not about how to cook healthy, but about how cooking for others can lead to great friendships and even more.

Lifestyles of the Fatigued Yet Restless

I'm signed in as Andy .. but this is Daisy..

Normal wake up time for us is around 5 AM but lately, 4 AM seems more normal. I don't do much besides groggily getting up, making my way to the kitchen, and packing a lunch for Andy but he reads his morning news (mostly sports, some WSJ, some Deseret News) and takes a shower.

Well, today I decided to get up and make him my green machine wannabe drink (see www.skinnyisalwaysin.blogspot.com for recipe) and then after making his lunch, and going downstairs to move our tandem parked cars, I came back thinking....

My body is awake but my eyes are asleep....
My mind is awake but my I might need more sleep...

What do I do now? Do I go to sleep? Start scripture studying? Go work out? Cut the watermelon? Make myself lunch? Put in a load of laundry? Fold the laundry from two days ago? Send some work related e-mails? Call a friend on the east coast? Write a letter? Browse the internet? And then it hit me... I would blog about how utterly tired I am yet seemingly restless, I don't do anything productive except blog about how unproductive I am.

Why is it we always have so much to do yet we're unable to just go about and do it? Lately, I feel like the list is never ending but yet I am only slowly making my way down the list, at a snail's pace, trying to prioritize. I don't like the word "stress," but I think that is what it is. I justify that I am the rabbit, not the hare... and again, it's because I'm in a transition mode (just started working on a client again with a 45 minute commute and typical 7 pm end of work day) but I really admire moms and dads who have so much to do, and are able to do it all! Times like this.. I think, what am I going to do when we have kids and the sleep is even less? *gulp

But then.... I remember that.. "the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." (Nephi 3:7) As long as I remember that... nothing is impossible. The Lord loves us and wants us to succeed. He doesn't throw challenges at our way to make it harder for no reason, to stress us out for no reason. We grow from challenges, and we are better prepared. I suppose the early mornings help to prepare us for less sleep in the future and we can slowly transition into it. Nothing is impossible...nothing that is in accordance with the Lord's will.

Pushing Me to Be Better... One Step at a Time

One of my favorite qualities about Andy is that he always pushes me to be better. Sometimes, I fall asleep when I'm studying my scriptures and it's most often because I'm doing it on the couch and not sitting upright. I have found that the easy solution is to study in the study hehe... but it's still tempting to go towards the couch instead. Andy will see my head nod off and say very abruptly, "Are you falling asleep?" and for some reason, my reaction is always "no" even if I am. Once I wake up, I'm able to tell him, "oh, I think I was falling asleep," and on occasion, I have gotten up and made my way to the study.

Punctuality is also another obstacle for me. Every culture has it and calls it INSERT CULTURE time. In my family, we called it "Chinese time," my Persian friends called it "Persian time," and most recently, my new Mormon friends call it "Mormon time." It's really just an excuse for being irresponsible and not adhering to the "start time" of anything and everything! I used to tell Andy, I'm selectively punctual. "What does that even me?" he'd ask me. It means I know when I HAVE to be on time. I'm never late to Sacrament, never late to work when I have a big meeting, and never late for anything that matters! "So you're saying everything you're late to, means you don't care?" he rebutted, to which I, again, reaction is instantaneous, say, "yeah, duh!"

But when I really thought about what I had just said, I realized... that is quite disrespectful! For everyone I meet with where I show up late, I am saying my time is more important than yours. For every "sorry, running late," I text (which happens quite a bit), I'm indirectly implying that I was just not able to put my ducks in a row to make sure I met the obligation of the meeting time we agreed on.

So my one step at a time for these obvious development points are as follows:
1) Study my scriptures in the study or at the dining room table
2) Deceive myself into new "meeting times" so I'm always on time

The latter has actually been how Andy and I get to Church on time and funny enough, when Andy is at the hospital, it's how I get to Church super on time. We show up about 10 minutes to spare and when I show up alone, I've normally got about 15 minutes to spare. That convinces me that Andy must be the variable that affects my punctuality most! hehehe.... maybe not?

Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which in heaven is perfect (Matt 5:8)

The New Kid at Church

There are some moments you never forget, no matter how old you get. For me, one of those moments was when I was the "new kid" in the middle of first grade. I would only have to do this once as we didn't move much growing up and I would be in the same school system all throughout adolescence and teenage years until I graduated from high school. Yet I still remember vividly the first day of first grade in the new school.

Mrs. Mollenkoff's classroom had a growing chain of ice cream hanging on the wall (fake of course) which represented the different books each student read and reported. If our ice cream chain grew big enough, we would have an ice cream party to celebrate our class success. That was way cool and not something we had in the old school. In the corner, away from the desks we sat on, were different wood shapes which we would take turns figuring out how to put into the cut out of the same shapes. And then in another corner, there was a carpet where we would sit as Mrs. Mollenkoff read books aloud to us.

Things were slower in this new public school but still fun. The private school I had just left was already teaching us cursive and multiplication but here, we were just practicing our names in normal print, working on addition, and figuring out shapes so I was excited to be ahead of the pack without really being better, just luckier that I had already learned this stuff. My reading was a bit stronger than some of the other kids but my grammar was still plain awful. I liked to say, "that's funner" and didn't really get English tenses of past and present as our home spoke primarily Chinese and the only English I got were from the bit of cartoons I was allowed to watch only beginning Friday night through Sunday night. I could get use to this place... if only I were able to make some friends.

Once I was introduced as the "new kid," the whole class knew me by name and a bit of my background yet I still knew nothing about any of them. If people talked to me, I would open up a bit, but ultimately, I was and am still an initially shy girl. Once you actually get me to open up, I am super outgoing but I just am uncomfortable with the initial opening conversation which has stemmed from that time I was the "new kid" in first grade. I did manage to make some friends, but they were not the nicest and looking back, they traumatized me a bit and it wasn't until third grade that I made real friends. I attribute most of that to the process of adapting that took a while.

Most recently, I have again, had to be the "new kid," only this time it was at our new Family ward (we graduated from the Singles ward after getting married). In our Church, we have different "wards" or groups divided demographically by where we live and sometimes by a common language (for example there is a Chinese ward a couple blocks from my parents house) and the only time you do not belong to a Family ward is from the ages of 18-31 when you are single. At this time, you are encouraged by priesthood leaders, to attend the Singles ward, where you are more able to make friends your age and hopefully, an eternal companion. I was lucky and a success story of the Singles ward since that is precisely where I met my husband!

Lucky for me, our Church also has established what's known as "visiting" and "home" teaching which means, each sister is paired up with a companion and visit other sisters. So I get visited and I go visiting. Home teaching is when the priesthood men go to teach a family and we likewise, have home teachers who visit us. It's a great way for us to meet more people within the new ward, outside of our Church meetings, and a chance for all of us to help support the Bishopric by helping to watch over each other.

With our August visits, I have come to realize, I was initially very uncomfortable about going to the new ward. As I share with each sister or family (I went with Andy on a couple visits since his companion was hard to locate), I have felt the need to share how hard it was to adjust when first coming to the new ward. I was sad to have left the old ward where I made many great friends and memories and had become accustomed to the teaching styles of the Sunday school and other meetings. But I do not go to Church simply because of the people and I know my testimony in the gospel of Jesus Christ means that I know we have a living prophet who continues to organize our Church. This means, wherever I go, the Bishop, is called of by God. That translates to meaning, it won't matter where I go. It might be hard to make friends at first, the teaching manuals are the same, the lessons are the same (taught by different instructors), the Sacrament is passed the same, the prayers are all in the name of Jesus Christ and the Spirit is still there.

I'm so grateful that I belong to a Church where I don't have to "go shopping" for a new Church if I move. I know a lot of my other denominational Christian friends do this everytime they move and a factor in not moving is actually the Church they belong to. I know that's not the case for us because wherever we go, there is a Stake (a group of wards) nearby and most likely, a Church building. And, if you're unsure of where, you can go to lds.org, click on Find a meetinghouse, type in your zip code or address and locate all the wards nearby. I'm so thankful for this and it makes being the new kid at Church, just that much easier.

Who Wants to Move to Florida?!

Apparently, a ton of high-rise, low budget luxury condos are now selling in Florida for less than $50k! All these places are right by the beach and would be a huge investment and for those who have the money as they're not exactly a huge risk. Hmmmm... who wants to move to Florida?! Minus the danger of hurricanes and alligators, it should be alright... right?