Be Careful What You Wish For

Dear Future lazy Daisy,

This is how it went down.

I didn't feel like moving.  But I needed to get to the room to get ready for bed.  It was so comfortable on the couch with the blankets on me.

"Can you carry me to the room?" I asked Andy.  No reply.  "Please?"

He came over, bent down with his back horrifically straight, as if about to pick up some heavy piece of furniture, pressed his lips together, and focused intently to pick me up.  I put my arms around his neck, imagining how romantic it would be to be swept away by my husband.  As if it were our first time entering our new home.  He didn't seem able to converse while carrying me.  He stumbled a bit and tried his best to quickly transport me.  "Am I that heavy?" I asked him.  "Well, you certainly aren't light," he responded.  "Owwww!" I yelped.  My elbow had just slammed into something on the side of the wall.  As I hung on for dear life and my elbow throbbed, I felt like I was slowly sinking so I screamed.. "Okay, enough, enough...put me down! no more!" in between laughing at how utterly ridiculous the whole situation was.  Needless to say, he ignored me.

Be careful what you ask for.

Signed,
My throbbing elbow

The iPhone Club

I never imagined myself as a tech-savvy person.  I joined the Blackberry club at work after almost three  and a half years (it's free so most people get it right away, but in my day.. we used to laugh at the associates who had blackberrys because nobody wanted to be tied down to work like that until they made manager or senior, at least! ... world has changed since then...), and only after I began traveling for work so much that arriving late at the hotel and then having to figure out how the internet worked (no wireless in most hotels back then either..) began to burden me.  Reluctantly, I joined the Blackberry club.  I was instantly in love.  I turned off my e-mail alerts to avoid having the phone ring or vibrate too much but was instantly enamored at the simple option of instant access to e-mail and internet in the palms of my hand.  I loved my first Blackberry the most.  She was a beauty for sore eyes.  Whiteberry I called her, because she was a sleek mini pearlized white with a colored trackball (a program I downloaded before apps were apps).  My second was named Flipberry, because it was a flip blackberry, one that I opted for after my Whiteberry broke down (the colored trackball stopped working, and the buttons fell off.  The commercial had enticed me - I didn't want to butt-dial anyone.  But after realizing it was increasingly difficult to scroll through e-mails or scour the internet during training or meetings without making a big fuss over opening the flipberry, I eagerly awaited for my one year anniversary when I'd be eligible for an upgrade.  At that time, I went with a blackberry bold, the largest blackberry and a whole new set of keys my fingers would have to get accustomed to.

When the iPhone became an option at work, all the young staff jumped at the opportunity while I hesitated simply because it was expensive (this one was out of pocket) and in many ways.. I was afraid to change and learn how to use a new phone.  When I left the Firm and started working for BlueSky, I was told I'd get a free iPhone for work - the phone that everyone else in the Company used.  I again wondered if that would be the right move for me - my blackberry was still functioning, and it didn't seem necessary.  But after a lot of convincing from everyone else, I decided to join the club.

I have never regretted joining the club.

My iPhone is awesome, despite me purchasing it a few months before the next one came out!  Though I still remember my rookie days of slowly swiping the unlock (and being ridiculed by my experienced iPhone club friends), of being unsure how to download an app or navigate to my homescreen or even how to turn the phone to silent ... I now love my iPhone and can't imagine life without it.  I know life will continue without it.. but it just won't be as sweet.

My husband, is also about to join the club with this next iPhone 5 release.  He is rippling with excitement and I, likewise, cannot wait as he has been using my phone to call all of his friends, and I am eager for the days when it will stop looking like "Daisy" has been calling all these men.  "Many marriages will be saved across the US" says Andy to our friend Ryan today, as he explained why I am also full of excitement.  While they were talking, the call got dropped and Ryan texted Andy back on my phone with, "Daisy, service is bad, I will call you later."  ><!!

I'm glad you're finally joining the club Andy.  It's about time!

A Basic Date Night

Does anyone else think it's funny to see Pinterest posts of "40 fun dates" or "50 things to ask your spouse" ... ?  Or am I alone here in criticizing the futile nature of such posts?

Andy and I both dated a lot before we got married, so between the two of us, we have enough date ideas to last a lifetime.  This includes places to go, things to do, on a budget or something grand.  Creative, thoughtful, exciting, fun... yes, yes, and yes!! However, add a kid into the mix, and all we're looking to do now is have a quiet dinner (though I haven't figured out what we'd talk about besides Jordan) and movie (with no talking to each other except during the trailers can't wait to watch that!  that looks dumb...).  Maybe I'm just not as romantic.  Maybe I'm too pragmatic.  But seriously, all I want is a normal and typical cliche date - dinner and a movie that do not include our sink, our trash can, our television, and our couch.  Nothing fancy.  Nothing complicated.  Nothing romantic.  Nothing over the top.  Nothing instagram or facebook "like" status worthy.  Just an uninterrupted dinner and movie out without baby.

The numerous lists of what to ask your husband or wife also baffle me.  Maybe it's because Andy and I got to know each other over a road trip to Utah with another friend.  The three of us sat in the car, asking each other anything and everything, talking for 10 hours there and back.  Need to get to know someone?  Take a road trip together!  I know some of those questions have answers that will change over time (like your biggest fear, where you see yourself in 5, 10, and 15 years, etc.) but the one place we do spend a lot of uninterrupted time in is the car and what else would you do besides talk about said items?  Maybe it's because I'm loquacious.  Maybe it's because I'm noisy.  Maybe it's because I'm creepy like that.

Whatever it is.. I don't need a different type of new exciting date.  Or detailed suggestions for what to talk to my husband about (sometimes a moment of silence can say a lot).  Currently, we have scoped out all the other couples with one child only (fairer trade, eh?) and are excited for the possibility of a date night.  It wasn't a big deal when Jordan was younger and slept through our outings, but now - going out to dinner with him is involved.  We take turns eating or handling Jordan and then we're out - before you can even say "check please!"  I admire and am slightly jealous of all the other couples who have managed to consistently have date nights even after child(ren).  As for us, given our complicated schedules and our "paying hefty school loan back" place of life, it has not happened.  But we are working on it.  And that counts.

our norm for date nights now... 

Marriage Is Work

I think marriage continually teaches and pushes you to seal the gap that exists between the two sexes.  We are learning the differing expectations and standards everyday, and trying our best to meet in the middle.  Remembering to praise the other for their efforts.  Avoiding the blame game.  Enjoying the differences that make us work as one.

Andy and I have inventory companionship once a week (inspired by Genny) and let me just say.. it is not easy.  The easy part is thinking of all the good things you appreciate your spouse for doing - that part is fun and great.  Everyone feels great afterwards.  All tingly and wonderful.  Like you're on top of the world!  Amazing!  Brilliant!  The best ever!  Then... comes the part about what you can work on and surprisingly so, (*sarcasm) that part is hard whether you're giving constructive advice for the other person or listening to what you can do better.  It is not fun.  At. ALL!  It's hard to swallow all that pride and commit to be better.  But don't we all have something to improve on? ...

Marriage is work.  And when you work consistently at it, the work becomes fun and doesn't feel like work.  And eventually it becomes easy easier.  So marriage is really easy if you are always working at it.  It's counterintuitive, isn't it?!

Part of making marriage work is understanding men and women are different.  We're wired differently. We think differently.  I can't tell you how many times I get frustrated with the fact that Andy cannot multitask.  He is not faking it.. he really just cannot.  He does not know how.  It comes in handy when I need him to focus on something intently... but for the few times I am talking to him while he is on the computer and I assume he has processed everything I have said.. it is always consistently disappointing to realize I wasted my breath (you'd think I'd learn by now) especially when it feels like I can be browsing through blogs and listening to him (when in reality, my multitasking makes me more inefficient at times).

The other part is setting aside your pride and understanding you can change.  Instead of asserting why I am right, why my standards trump his, I have to compromise and recognize I am not always right and the house does not always have to be a certain way.  This part is not so fun.  This part is where the borderline OCD, sometimes type A anal retentive person in me has to back down and remember that I'm no longer single and living by myself.  There are three people now and I am only 33% versus the 100% I used to be.

It's worth it.  Because have you seen my husband?  He's a stud.

He's also a great dad!

And we are in it for the long-run, for all eternity.  Infinity and beyond. 

Loner Me

Jordan and I just returned from a long weekend in the bay area and Sonoma County for my BFF's wedding.  It was a burning hot weekend without Andy which led me to better appreciate my husband's company at weddings.  My parents also came since they have known Grace for as long as me so I had a lot of help with Jordan while I was off with my bridal party responsibilities.  Alas, my plus one, Jordan, cute as he may be, cannot talk yet... so every time something funny happened or something noteworthy, I'd start to say something, look for a response - and whichever friend I was meaning to talk to, would be with their significant other or assume I wasn't talking to them (but hello, if not them then who?!).  After this happened about four times, I realized... nobody's listening to me, but I wouldn't give up and was met with continued disappointment known as one person conversations. They must have thought I was full of rhetorical questions this weekend.  No, they probably didn't hear me.  Everyone was with their dates and enjoying the photo booth, chip bar, or free flowing wine, and then there was lil ol' me, unsuccessfully trying to take photo booth photos with Jordan (huge fail), grabbing chips on my own and eating them by myself, and then walking around with Jordan on the dance floor (which he absolutely loved).  It reminded me a lot of eighth grade when my abnormal 5'7 height made it difficult for any of the guys to ask me for a dance.  Instead, I roamed around the refreshment table, slouched over, embarrassed of my towering height, longing for a handsome tall man to dance with. Not much has changed.

Jordan, on the other hand, didn't seem to notice Daddy was missing, until he saw him in the airport Sunday night and was all smiles and happiness.  But as for the weekend, he got so much attention from strangers, everyone at the wedding, and wai-puo and wai-gong, that he didn't even realize when Mommy was gone!  It wasn't until after my MOH speech that he seemed to want me, and I think that might have been just to sit at the head table so he could see everyone.  The dance floor was also a playground for him - he roamed the wooden floor before people began dancing and tapped the speakers, wondering where that music was coming from.  As the night progressed past his bedtime, he became tired but refused to rest and instead, reached out to everybody and anybody to hold him on the dance floor.  He just wanted to be in the mix. So you see, my date wasn't that into me.  


I remember there being a time when showing up at a wedding alone didn't seem as big of a deal.  Now, all of my friends are married or on the cusp of being married, which normally is a great thing, but given my weekend no husband situation, was not.  One would think being alone meant the opportunity to take more photos.  One would be wrong.  Between giving the speech, running around to make sure Grace was okay, using the restroom, helping her in the restroom, talking to the MC/deejay, eating, feeling sorry for my loner self, and then also taking care of Jordan while my parents weren't (which wasn't even a lot since they were with him a lot), the night was over before I knew it.  So at least I didn't have to be a loner for long.  

 

our make-up is done and I think we're showing how buff we are.... ummm no comment.

the bridesmaids...

 

my hair from the back!

beautiful Arista Winery in Healdsburg

 My parents, me, and Jordan!

Julia, Jordan and me... he's tired, but if you put him down, he'd point to the dance floor and then motion for you to pick him up

Love Is Dandy...

Both Andy and I forgot it was our anniversary today.  It wasn't until my friend Gena just messaged me saying, "Happy Anniversary!" that I was reminded.  And then she said, "well, I love Dandy."  Hahaha.  Years later, still unforgettable is the way we put Daisy and Andy together to become oh, just dandy.  I felt really silly.  We even have a weekly calendar we update during FHE, and it didn't even make it on there!  So much for us thinking today is a special day.  Oops.  At least we have all of eternity to make up for it.  Hehe.  Somehow I always imagined the dude would forget and the dudette would remember, boy was I wrong.


These are the only two photos I have on my computer ... the rest are on Andy's but his comp is so slow, I got lazy.  

So I just copied our photographer's URLs for some photos from that wonderful day two years ago...

  

This tree is gone now.  My dad pointed it out when I took them to the Visitor's Center before we left LA.  

the crew jumping photo

the red qi-pao I had to have

and the light posts... another LA must. 

we're such high rollers...

the beginning of eternity...

Happy Anniversary Andy!  Love is indeed dandy.  

I Told You So!

When Andy and I were first engaged and were planning our wedding, I remember others (Andy's sister Tammy and her husband, Jeff) telling us to just do a destination wedding, or better yet, templ-ope (it's like eloping but in a Temple and yes, there's a nice Temple in Las Vegas even for us Momos!)  Of course we argued that we wanted a traditional Temple wedding and reception following.  Of course.  Naturally.  Duh.  Because you know, that's what optimistic, recently engaged couples think.  

And then wedding planning begins....

And guess what?  It sucks.

It's not as glamorous as television makes it.  Bridezilla is a real thing.  

And so was the story of my BFF's wedding (upcoming in July in a small community within Napa)... and the other day, she called me and groaned and moaned about how she should have just had a destination (more destination than NorCal) wedding.  "Or maybe eloped?" I asked her eagerly... waiting for the moment I could say, "I told you so!" .....

But then again, everyone else (married and more expertised) told us too.  *sigh. 

Here are a few of my favorite engagement shots of them.  San Fran is just beautiful. 

I think wedding I told you so's are like when you don't have kids and you see a kid throwing a tantrum.  You think, without much inkling, that your kids will never be like that, or that even if they are, you will never let them get away with it.  And then you have kids.  And .... well, let's just say perspectives change.  Cuz guess what?  ...Crying ain't never hurt nobody.  

Who Wears The Pants in This Family?

Since being married, we have watched three chick flicks at home together (Morning Glory, From Prada to Nada and Prom)  I only recommend Morning Glory, the other two were bad.  We then watched Footloose together and it was painfully stupid (in my honest opinion).  Of course, with 75% of the ones we've watched together being so hopelessly bad, there's no wondering Andy won't entertain more in our home.  

How many action films have we seen, you ask?  I've lost count.

I always hear about men who have resorted to watching too many chick flicks because of their wives.   Somehow we're a bit reversed.

Washington D.C., May 2012

So it's safe to say I'll be watching Think Like a Man without my hubs.  And he's okay with that too.

Of course, I made sure to ask him first.  Yup, he wears the pants.  Most definitely.

Confessions of Hoarder

Andy has begun packing.  He's done a pretty good job so far.  Unfortunately, his hoarder wife stands in much of his way.

Here are some things I have said, and some thoughts I have had.

1. But that's from my childhood!  
2. I might use it again!
3. Do you know how much that cost?
4. Who said I don't use that?
5. You never know when it might come in handy...
6. It doesn't take up that much space!
7. I can always alter it.
8. What if my kids want it later?
9. You're throwing that away?!
10. I'm going to tell my mom you threw that away!

Retail Therapy for the Whole Family

We recently forgot we got a chunk of money from disability when I was on maternity leave.  You know when you find money in your pants while washing them?  Way better.

Today, Andy asked me....

"So with the extra money we just realized we had... and the sale of our car.... does this mean we might have some extra spending money?"

"Why, what do you want with it?" I asked, already knowing he was in need of some more golf stuff.

"Well, there's this golf bag..."

I'm not sure what he said after but once I tuned back in, I suggested...

"What about we make it our anniversary presents?"

"Okay... but when can I get it?  Do I have to wait?" he asked.

"Why?  Do you need it NOW?" I inquired.

"Well, this bag's on sale, so..." his voice trailed off.

"Okay, sure, get it soon and then I dunno, maybe it can be a graduation present?" I was on my way out the door, so I really didn't have much to direct him with and figured he was a big boy.  He knew what to do.  The conversation was just based on our agreement to discuss any big purchases together before proceeding.

Two hours later, I came home after some retail therapy with Jordan and called Andy to come help me in the garage.  Apparently, the few days before Easter are the time to get Easter outfits.  I spent $20 at Children's Place (got Jordan a pink shirt, no the Gingham one I wanted was all gone, for $8, and three little boy ties for $3 each!), $11 at Target for baby snacks, and $20 at Nordstrom for Jordan's first shoes ever.

"I spent so much money today!" I exclaimed.

"What?  How much?" Andy asked.  "On yourself?"

I didn't respond entirely to all his questions.  "No, mostly Jordan (I had some of the Kix I got him on the car ride home)" I responded.

"Oh, that's good." he said.

We got upstairs and into the house.

Upon entering the apartment, I saw sitting in the living room ... a brand new bright blue golf bag!

Guess Andy was doing his own retail therapy while Jordan and I were out and about.  Turns out I'm the only one who didn't get anything new.  Who would have thought?!

That's My Soap!

My mom got me a few really delicious smelling bars of Asian soap.  I was so excited to shower, thinking of how wonderful it smelled (I use Asian body soap but I bought the wrong kind and this container is so big that it feels like I haven't made much of a dent).  And then I started to notice my wonderful bar of soap growing smaller disproportionately to the speed I was using it.  I didn't figure out who the culprit was until Andy came out smelling like a girl the other day.

"Have you been using my soap?" I asked.

His eyes opened and his shoulders rose as he shrugged.

The look said it all.  "Use your Old Spice body soap!" I demanded.

"I'm all out and it's so easy when the soap's just there."  He then started to articulately explain how the body soap and loofa process is more complicated and time consuming than using the bar of soap. Why doesn't Old Spice doesn't just make a bar of soap instead of body soap?

The bar of Asian soap was at its end two nights ago.  As I was working in the dining room, I heard a yell from Andy asking if I could get him more soap (he knows the box came with four and we've only used two thus far).  "No, just use my body soap!" "No, I don't want to, I'll smell like a girl!" he replied.

Seriously?

I didn't respond.  When Andy was done with his shower, he came out into the living room, asking me why I hadn't brought him the bar of soap.

"It's MY soap!  Just use my body soap!"

I thought we were done with the soap conversation.

In the shower last night, I noticed a new bar of yummy soap sitting there.  "Andy!!!!"  I yelled from the bathroom .... "you got another bar of soap?!  How did you know where it was?" (I didn't hide it, but I just didn't reveal to him where it was tucked away in the guest bathroom cabinets).

"I just took it from the guest bathroom," he responded matter of factly.  "I saw it when I was giving Jordan a bath."

Oh yeah, I left it there because we were out of other bars of soap and had family visiting last week.  DOH!

On my shopping list today: ANY BRAND of soap, bar form.

We're In Love!

I'd like to think of myself as a fancy person, but in reality.. I'm quite baffled by the price mark-up at higher end stores.  For example, why Whole Foods chooses to sell Jordan's Earth's Best organic formula for $19.99 while Babies 'R' Us sells it for $8.99 is beyond me.  I suppose it's probably more certifiably organic at Whole Foods, and of course - you need to inflate it to help out with the overhead costs and all the free samples policy (you can sample anything at Whole Foods, even if it's still packaged).... but a 100% mark-up?!  INSANE I tell you!

So when we got married almost two years ago (two in June 2012), thinking of myself as quite fancy, I was excited about using our Crate N Barrel gift cards.  But try as we might, we could never find anything we liked at Crate N Barrel.  Numerous visits.  No progress.  Big sales.  Still nothing I fancied.  The problem was, I could get it for less at Ross!  Or TJMaxx!  But then... this Christmas, Andy's sister, Tammy, told us about an innovative ice cream scooper with anti-freeze in the handle and as we were browsing at Crate N Barrel for the nth time, we saw it!  We knew we were holding onto those gift cards for a reason!

We purchased it and we have been absolutely infatuated!  Except guess what.. this is the real thing!  For anyone who is a true ice cream lover, this is a MUST BUY!  We have ice cream almost every night in this household... and it used to be more of a hassle (though never a real hassle when it's for something you love this much) to dip your scooper into hot water first or wait for the ice cream to melt..... but these days.... we scoop ice cream in seconds!  Nanoseconds even!  I am constantly amazed that the ice cream is so soft when I'm scooping it up - as if it had been sitting out for minutes!!!

What did we do without our anti-freeze Crate N Barrel fancy scooper?!  I don't even want to imagine it.  Now... all we need are real ice cream bowls so we stop filling our entire big cereal bowl.

I Am Not Domestic

Yet.

Operative word here.

I tried to make shredded pork roast in the crock pot.  It's almost near impossible to screw up crock pot food, but never fear, I accomplished that by using the wrong type of meat (lean pork roast becomes really dry, it's better to use fatty meat like pork shoulder or butt or so I've learned).  As sad of a realization as that is, I am actually quite proud of how far I've come.  A year ago, I didn't even know where to get pork roasts from (I asked the meat guy who walked me over to where pork butts were - ohhh, they're the same thing?  roast is inclusive of all types of areas on the pig but it's just this big chunk? ohhh ok...)

Last night, we had some friends over for dessert and games and I thought... I'll just make something easy with what we have.  So chocolate strawberries it was!  Do you know it is not easy to melt chocolate in the microwave (burned it into pieces) or the oven?!  And even worse, it is a pain in the rear to clean up afterwards.  Therefore, the $4 per chocolate dipped strawberry is VERY worth it in my book.  I wish I took a picture of my failed chocolate dipped strawberries, the chocolate consistency was anything but consistent, chunky and funky looking, but according to my nice friends and husband, it tasted just fine.  Sometimes white lies are good for the soul.

Tonight, I spent hours making homemade cream cheese with strawberries frosting for my cupcakes I made from cake in a box.  I don't make cake from scratch (except for carrot, I'm a pro at that!) because cake in a box tastes wonderful and nobody ever says, "Oh, this taste just like cake in a box, I can't believe you didn't make it from scratch!"  But I mashed some strawberries for my cream cheese, butter and powdered sugar concoction... and then it was too watery.  So I added some more powdered sugar.  And then it was too powder sugary.  And then I added more cream cheese.  And then I called my sister-in-law.  She told me to add more powdered sugar, so I did.  Again.  That's right.  And then I called my friend, Jen, who is a baking guru who actually gave me some wonderful advice and insight - apparently beating cream cheese on the side by itself makes it more creamy before adding it to my mixture (wish I spoke to her the first time I added more cream cheese) and if I have too much frosting (which I definitely did....) I could always split it into two and try to thicken half of my mixture (genius!).

I then used this new awesome technique I learned from Pinterest (unfortunately I could not find the link to share (you put some frosting onto saran wrap and then wrap it like candy with the sides twisted, cut one side of the twisted sides, put that open part into your piping bag and bam!  super neat and easy to dispose piping frosting bags!!!)!

My cupcakes look sad.  Like something melted on top of them and then puked some speckles of pink.  Alas, it makes me happy because they do taste just like the pretty pink cupcakes I had growing up.  You see, in elementary school, I always looked forward to the cupcakes the white room mothers would bring.  I say "white" because that's how I thought of them as my own Chinese mother did not know how to make cupcakes (and none of my Asian friends' moms did either.. we were all the first generation born here) and therefore, I was in awe of these scrumptious wonders that I got at school on Christmas and Valentine's Day (I'm still unsure why these were the only two holidays we always had a party with treats from the room mothers).  I'm not trying to be racist here but Chinese people don't eat cupcakes.  American Born Chinese people do... but go to a Chinese bakery... and guess what, they do not sell cupcakes.  Lots of little cakes and pastries.. but no cupcakes, at least none that I've been to thus far in life.  I digress.

Often when I'm having these not so great domestic moments as a novice, Andy encourages me by telling me the fact that I'm trying is more important than being good at it already.  What a great guy.  I'm glad he's my Valentine tomorrow, cuz someone's gotta eat dem messed up cupcakes right?!

Marriage = A Lifetime of Cooking

My mom told me not to bother learning to cook until after I was married.  She said I'd be doing it for the rest of my life, so like it or not, I'd learn to love it.

It was probably one of her best pieces of advice. .. .. ... . ever!

Before I was married... I knew how to make a killer smoothie, a notoriously delicious salad, and an incredible sandwich.  Oh, and I knew how to cut some fruit.  That's all a single lady really needs to know.  That, and where the frozen food section in your local Trader Joe's is.  I also knew the best places for breakfast, dessert, dinner and happy hour all over LA.

Now that I've been married for a little over a year and acquired $100K in student debt, eating out is not an option.  So I have dived headfirst into the world of cooking.  I have slowly learned English names of vegetables (even though I'm American Born Chinese, it's surprising how little I know in a grocery store besides the basic vegetables), acquired a few new cooking tools along the way, and I am slowly making my way into hoity toity cooking (last night, I made a butternut squash with carmelized onions, gorgonzala, cheddar, and spinach pizza!... I made the dough myself, and this morning, I made us omelettes, an egg white one for me, with bacon, cheddar, red bell peppers, onions and squeezed some fresh OJ!.. welcome to Dining with Daisy!).

No, I never took home-ec in school though I wish I did.  Instead, my marriage is homemaking 101.

In just a year and a half of marriage, I have learned:
1) what pork roast looks like
2) where everything is in a grocery store
3) what simmer means
4) how to pronounce colander INcorrectly (some things won't change)
5) how to cook butternut squash
6) how to cut a pineapple
7) how to chop an onion
8) how to sugar my nuts
9) how to make bread from scratch

And most importantly...

10) that my guinea pig husband loves me as he eats everything I make with a smile and tells me it's good (he doesn't lie, but I notice when his mom or sister cooks, he says how good it is with real zest, the same zest I have only been lucky to hear from my own creations on a few occasions).

But I won't lie.. cooking almost everyday can become tiring... so I'm grateful my husband is so encouraging.  Thanks soy sauce!  You're the best and I'm glad I get to cook for you almost every night!

Oh... and... that bacon makes anything delicious.  Even whipped cream from a can.  Yes... try it, then knock it.

Wedding Advice from the Pros

Last Friday, Andy and I went to our first wedding post baby and I came to an epiphany about weddings... they are much more fun when they aren't yours!

We went to the wedding of an old co-worker of mine from the Firm (who I've known for six years!) at the Smog Shoppe. The Smog Shoppe, for those who do not stalk Los Angeles wedding blogs often, is literally the facade of a smog shop, an old run down and a bit ghetto from the outside with an overflow of green foliage seeping from the outskirts of the wall.  On the inside, it is hipsterly awesome.

As we witnessed James and Stella become husband and wife (which was super sweet and cute as they touched on how the two met... someone suggested they go out... he called, she was busy, he didn't call back, they found each other on match.com and finally went out thinking their options might be limited the longer they waited... and the rest is history!).  As they were getting married, I couldn't help but notice the glow against the white bricks which were landscaped with an assortment of plants...absolutely breathtaking!  It was stunning, and I can only imagine what it would have looked like in the day.  Following the reception, we hung out for a bit at the posh black leather vintage couches in a corner with other firm co-workers, some current, some alum like myself, and I felt quite hipster.  Yeah, that's me - I'm hip, I'm cool.  Once the furniture moving was complete (they changed the courtyard from a ceremony venue to a lounge like atmosphere with a buffet table), we made our way inside the garage of the smog shop for the dinner reception which had garage doors unlike any I have ever seen at a smog shop - as in, these were basically a stack of huge windows on a garage door.  There was a giant ceiling fan which was probably 15 feet in diameter and on one end of the inside room was a giant movie screen wall that fit the entire wall and on the other side was a bookshelf with old books and large alphabet letters.  For photos of the Smog Shoppe, go here and here.

So back to my epiphany about weddings being more fun when they're not yours... absolutely!!  I got to hang out with other couples throughout cocktail hour before dinner, munch on all the weird mochi balls they had (Korean caterer), oohh and ahhh about the bride's beautiful lace gown, laughed at the groom and his single days when he vowed he would never get married until he met his match aka his best friend ever (I mean really, this guy dated the weirdest girls and even had to change his personalized license plate once ex-girlfriends started keying it...), made fun of the groom's ugly dog and question why he was missing from the reception, overfilled our candy bags at the candy bar (by the way, we were probably the first to approach the bar because that's how we roll), towered our plates with a little bit of everything since it was a buffet line we didn't plan on visiting it again, pointed out which girl was the bride in the slideshow to my husband, and then overheard my friend Jen telling her husband the same thing, jumped out of our seats when the MC announced the photo booth was now available (and then sat back down after realizing the embarrassment of being a little too over eager but then laugh at the fact that Andy was still standing and only retreated back to his seat when he noticed none of us had intended to really go right away....and we did eventually all go after Andy convinced us to beat the crowd),  hunted down the girl passing out wedding cake, and best of all... enjoyed my sponsored date with the hubs, our longest date away from our seven month old son to date (the other being the four hour timeshare presentation we went to and left with two free trips).

And, among the fun that was had... the couples ... all three of us... came up with some good wedding advice for the newlywed couple.  The guys decided being sent to their wives's purses to retreat stuff was the worse and the girls, we just laughed.  We talked with the other couples about Christmas gifts, and I learned that guys do not appreciate gifts that are not truly for them and more for the couple.  This includes, but is not limited to, televisions and speaker systems (because everyone gets to enjoy it, not just them...) but apparently purses are just for the girls (even though guys stuff all their junk into them).  It was really funny to realize all the other couples have the same man vs woman issues that we all encounter and laugh about.  And we all talked about how fast our own weddings went, how we didn't feel like we got to see or talk to anyone, and how this wedding was so much more enjoyable than our own!  Hahaha.

Me and Jen

Insight Into Being Unique

Growing up, people always called me weird.  It didn't stop once I grew up.  In college, at work, in real life.  But being weird isn't so bad when your other half is just as weird.

Yesterday, as we were packing for our short trip to Arizona for Andy's interviews, I started to sing a song.  It went a little something like this.

I need new clothes!  I need new clothes!  I need some new clothes so I can be pretty.  I need new clothes, oh I need new clothes, don't you know that I need new clothes?!

Instead of telling me my song sucked, or ignoring me, Andy joined me with the same melody as he sang, "We don't have money, we don't have money, we don't have money so you'll just have to wait."

I came back with the chorus, "oh but I need new clothes, I need new clothes, if only I had some new new clothes!"

The cacophony of Andy's notes rang loud again, "You'll have to wait, you'll have to wait, you'll have to wait to get new clothes."

Then, on the drive over, we played two truths and a lie.
I started off with, "One time, a guy had a crush on me and-" "LIE!" he interjected before I could finish my statement.  Gee, thanks hubs.

But I think that's what makes being married to Andy so fun.  He really is my best friend.  The one you want to sometimes kick.  The one you want to sometimes hug.  The one you miss.  The one you laugh at.  The one you laugh with.  The one you fart in front of.  The one you make smell your breath to see if it's okay.  The one you complain to.  The one you tell everything to (even if he's not listening).  The one you think about often.  The one you love tremendously.  The one you can every once in a while, pridefully ask, can you believe we created this cute kid together?!

  Family photos in Orlando courtesy of our Uncle Ike!

True Love Or ...?

At Church on Sunday, I was offered a choice of a bite size chocolate and I chose a Twix. I then politely asked if I could take another piece for my husband. Thoughtful right? I chose a Snickers for him though I knew Twix or Snickers would be winners.

I forgot about the piece of chocolate until Sunday night. Once I remembered, I excitedly told him about the surprise I got him at Church. I literally jumped up to get it. He wasn't as excited as me. He said he didn't feel like a candy bar and would take it with him to work the next day.

So imagine my disappointment and dejection when I saw the Snickers candy bar sitting on the table Monday afternoon. When I mentioned it to Andy, he said it was because he was saving it for his out of town trip (interview season has begun). That brought a smile to my face... temporarily... because after Jordan and I returned Tuesday afternoon from taking Daddy to LAX, guess what I saw on the table...? Not having moved since Sunday, the pang of rejection sitting in the form of a mini Snickers bar.

I grabbed my phone, in a daze of sadness, texted my husband, "I thought you loved me but you forgot the Snickers...sad face," to which he responded, "I left you the last Snickers!" ..... you see, long ago, I informed him that all the black romantic comedies I watched growing up had taught me the proper way to demonstrate love and that leaving the last piece of food for a girl (something most men DO NOT do) means they LOVE you! So simple! Thus far, my husband has never once shown me he loves me like the black romantic comedies imply.... that is, until now. True love defined by a candy bar. Of course.

Our Bodies Are Not the Same

Yesterday I went to a dance class at my fancy gym and pretended I was 18. I raised the roof. I shimmied left to right. I stomped my feet. I whipped my hair. I moved my hips. I arched my back. And then... I got hurt. Funny thing is, I didn't even know I was hurt until later that night. In fact, I left the class feeling great and learning the Thriller moves, just in time for Halloween! It wouldn't be until later that night when I'd start to feel the soreness of my triceps and neck creep up on me. That joke the instructor made about how she wasn't advising us how hard to whip our heads for some of the moves which might result in a chiropractor visit started to be less funny.

I wasn't alone.

Andy had played football earlier that morning and apparently, pushed himself too hard and came home with a back strain.

Needless to say, we were in slow mode as we got ready for bed last night, struggling to maneuver ourselves, both complaining about the pain leftover from earlier that morning.

I guess our bodies just aren't the same as they used to be. I guess that's what age does to you. Meanwhile, our son is showing us how strong his lil growing body is as he held himself up on the pull-up bar for about three seconds at the park today and then almost five seconds via Skype for the family. What a show-off!

He has also been rolling from his stomach to his back and over again, trying to crawl (using his head more than his arms), and sitting up for almost 30 seconds before toppling over.

I know it's cliche but sometimes I can't help think... wow, that lil munchkin came out of my body. It is absolutely amazing to think about life and wonder how it all works. Moreover, to think... just a year ago, Jordan was just a murmur in my stomach, a headache turned migraine and a growing bump and these days, he's a changing person with more personality and movement than ever before, trying to laugh and squeal and grab everything around him. It's comforting to know ... though our bodies aren't the same, neither is Jordan's.

Oh... You're Right

My mom recently gave me two pounds of beef jerky - one for my sister-in-law, Tammy who came to visit this weekend. I just had five pieces for a mid-afternoon snack. Andy put the bag of jerky away for me, commenting that tonight was going to be interesting being in the same bed as me.

I was busy so I didn't pay much attention. He continued in his silly you can hear the grin and he probably looks way awkward turtle sort of thing. I turned around and asked why.

"You don't know that beef jerky gives you gas?" he asked....

"No it doesn't!" I exclaimed.

I've obviously never had that much beef jerky in one sitting. A few minutes later, as I saw on the couch browsing the internet with cooing from Jordan on his playmat nearby.... it started.

And after a few occurrences of such... I told Andy... "Oh... you're right!"

I am now going to a yoga class at my fancy gym. I really hope this class has music but being that it's yoga... highly unlikely. *gulp.

Best Wife Ever!!!!

This is a rather long entry. I apologize in advance if you were looking for a quick, funread. But I really wanted to share because I think it really does help to show how things sometimes happen for a reason, one we may not be aware of until later.

Yesterday was game two for BYU and winning it meant they would proceed to the Sweet Sixteen for the first time since 1981. Too bad the game was set to start at 4:45 PM and would probably go until at least 7 PM because we also had a wedding reception that was to begin at 6 PM. However, in the Mormon world, wedding receptions are unlike those outside of the Mormon world and though they may begin "on time," the food is usually buffet style, the seats are unassigned and rarely is there a set program so showing up "on time" is not always necessary. So like any good wife (and after being encouraged by a friend who commented I would let my spouse watch game 2 instead of the wedding, it's THAT important) I decided I would not mind going alone because I knew there was going to be a photobooth AND cake (and I love wedding cake more than any other type of cake!). However, Andy said we could just show up a bit later - and I agreed.

Boy, am I glad I agreed because we watched history in the making! BYU wiped the floor dry with Gonzaga, and though they were the unfavored team, they blew everyone away with 32 points ahead of Gonzaga, giving them a place in the Sweet Sixteen next Thursday (same day as a birth class so I may also be going alone to that...). Andy was a wreck. I've never seen anyone more nervous. He couldn't sit still, he was on the floor, up and pacing about, on the couch, off the couch, up and running around high-fiving others watching the game with us, on his knees on the floor, then all over again. We proudly wore our "You Can't Handle the Jimmer" t-shirts made by my sister-in-law (which we will not wash until BYU is out of the tourney and yes, it's already stained because we had smoothies during the game) and enjoyed every moment of the game. Andy excited and don't hate the slippers, they are comfortable and manly.

When the game finished, we quickly left for the wedding and it turns out, our timing was impeccable! No buffet lines and right in time to sit and eat when the program (they did have one with speeches, dancing and cake cutting) began and we were able to see the beautiful bride and happy couple glowing with happiness. The gym was transformed into a breathtaking tent with a chandelier in the middle, white lights draped against the tenting, purple mood lighting that looked like floating color swirls, tea lights (battery operated and Church handbook approved), gorgeous red and purple flowers arrangements both tall and short, a royal red tablecloth on every table and brown Chiavari chairs... so I spent a long time taking it all in as we ate. We also didn't have to wait long to grab dessert which was an assortment of Porto's including cheesecake, red velvet, chocolate cake, fruit tart, and a scrumptious soft and airy angel cake with strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and whipped cream (I think I had 3 slices of this one) and yes, of course we tried all of them - who could resist otherwise?! We saw many of our friends from the old singles ward as well as the new family ward and pretty soon, I learned many of the men there had the game taped and were planning to watch it when they got home - so they of course demanded that we not share the outcome. In this moment, Andy realized - my wife is the best ever and told me so, because he not only got to watch the game, but still got to come to the wedding reception and enjoy the meal, dessert, people and photobooth.

Well, sometimes we speak too soon and in Andy's case, he did.

We returned home after the wedding so I could finish preparing for a short talk I was asked to give this morning at Church. I had been asked to speak (on Wednesday) about my conversion and the blessings that came from it, but the challenge was to keep it to 5 minutes. I had put something together, changed it, gotten some advice on how to improve it, changed it, and prayed for the Spirit to help guide me but continued changing it. Ugh! The problem with a conversion story in five minutes is that you have to figure out what part is important enough to share.

My conversion story is so long, has so many moving pieces, and really the desire to learn more and begin asking questions and checking out Mormon.org didn't just happen over night. On top of that, the turmoil and confusion I felt from having a good life but wanting more is really hard to put explicitly into words. How do I describe exactly how it felt? It's not as if everyday I was confused and wondered if there was more to life than what I had, but it was a general theme. On the other hand, it's not as if I was entirely all smiles all the time, I was like so many single mid 20's woman - fine but not fine. And because I was not alone, it did not seem a big deal. All of my friends were equally confused about life, the path, the purpose, the timelines we had set for ourselves and what society seemed to imply to us. Independence, professional success, personal relationships, marriage, kids, but also not forgetting balancing those other things that were important - looking good, having fun, going out, giving back, etc. Yet, at the end of the day - we all agreed that our most important relationship was with ourselves and we would even quote Carrie from the infamous Sex and the City, "But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous." She sort of had it right - because Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are those people, but sure, my husband may also qualify - but that doesn't mean I don't still encounter the need to change and improve constantly.

I struggled. I hesitated. I got nervous. I got frustrated. I wondered why I kept getting asked to speak. What could I add that was useful? What could I say that would invite the Spirit? I felt unworthy. I felt unprepared. And for about thirty minutes, as my sweet husband sat ready to time me as I practiced what I had ready, I could not, for the life of me, start my talk. I tried soooo hard, but it was as if stage fright had taken over me, and I was paralyzed with fear. I asked Andy if I could skip Church if I was sick. I asked Andy if he could just take my place and do my talk instead. I started coming up with irrational ways of how I could get out of the situation I was in. I started thinking of the crock pot dish I was going to make for lunch with friends the next day and wondering how I would have time to do it all! I cracked. Under pressure. I choked. Under immense pressure.

And my poor husband, who had just said I was the best wife ever about 4 hours earlier, was lost as to how he could help me. I prayed silently for help, and still nothing. And then, I had an epiphany for how I should begin my talk and 40 minutes later, after drafting it and practicing it, realized, it was still too long. Frustration. I had to cut stuff out and I had to figure out what was important enough to say. Disappointment. At this point, my poor husband, exhausted and confused about how to help, had fallen asleep on the couch with his hand still on the timer so I woke him up and told him to go to sleep. This was not something he could help me with and I appreciated his efforts. I was up against something greater than me but I was determined to get it done. We prayed together and I continued working on the talk for the next hour.

That next hour was amazing. After all the dismay and discouragement was evicted from our home, and the Spirit arrived to guide me. I practiced the talk about three times with an online timer (I didn't know how to use Andy's timer even though he taught me), and then decided it was time to go to sleep. I would wake up in 6 hours to prepare the food for the crock pot lunch recipe, and though Andy had offered, it was a new recipe and I wanted to try making it, all on my own (type A coming out?). I knew if I was humble, I would ask Andy for help, but he was probably more tired from his full day of furniture building and baby room assembly, so I put his happiness ahead of mine, and didn't feel any desire to do otherwise (sometimes we just have to do that for our other half, right?).

The Church meeting this morning was awesome. The Spirit was so strong, testifying to everyone of the truthfulness of everything said. There was a theme of Temples, so many testimonies, and my favorite was from someone in the Temple Presidency who spoke about a rich Italian man visiting from Italy who had his driver pull up to the Temple. He walked in, asking if he could go in and pray but since he didn't have a Temple recommend, they had to refuse him. He then asked what we did inside the Temple and was told about the ordinances such as baptisms and sealings that we did for the dead. He then asked if this meant his family who had passed away could hear of Jesus Christ and be not be in purgatory. When told yes, that was precisely it, he started crying. They took him to the Mission Office, gave him some pamphlets in Italian, and I sure hope he has started investigating the Church back in Italy. If God existed, why would he not give all his children the opportunity to return to Him? I know my non believing friends will say that's just your Church making something up to seal the gap, but the fact of the matter is - your Church has a gap and mine doesn't, but I also did go and pray about it, and received an answer that baptisms for the dead are truly to give the dead who have not heard, a chance.

Lunch was also great! I made a spicy buffalo chicken sandwich with my crock pot (Sunday lunches and dinners should ALWAYS be crock pot friendly) and it was A+!

Sometimes things do happen for a reason. We are given challenges that we can overcome but in the moment, it never feels that way! Every opportunity we have is unique to us, and angels are truly sent from Heaven to help us during our time of need. I know watching the BYU game was not that big of a deal to many, but I know how important it was for Andy and I'm glad I was supportive during his time of need because later on that night, I was the one in need of support. I will always strive to be the best wife ever, because in those moments when I am the worst wife ever, it will offset and mitigate my awfulness. I hope I will always remember that.

I truly believe the adversary knows us too well and will try to destroy us by attacking our weaknesses. I could not comprehend my struggles on Saturday night, I only know it felt easier to give in and give up but boy, am I glad I didn't! Take that adversary! It was tough - having a breakdown is always tough - even a childish one, but we all go through it. We're not alone and we can overcome with just a sprinkle of optimism, a spoonful of faith, and a cup full of prayer. I hope last night doesn't repeat itself for a while, I'm not sure if I'll have the energy to defeat my own insecurities again.

I know we all say it - but I have to say it too. I have the best husband ever!!