From My Hospital Bed

It's now day four of my occupancy in a hospital room.  There's not much I can complain about.  I have a fantastic view of downtown Spokane, wi-fi, a computer complete with Netflix access, a kindle with a ton of reading options, and my iPhone which has kept me in touch with family and friends by phone, facetime, and text after my admittance into the hospital at noon on Wednesday.  Since being off of the IV on Friday at noon, I am now allowed access to the bathroom within 3 feet of me, and was given fresh Kiehl's samples for my first shower since being on hospital bedrest.  The nurses get me warm prune juice and water out of a humongous Providence Sacred Heart mug (souvenir) whenever I ask, every meal has had fresh fruit at my request, and I've had boiled egg whites almost every morning without having to boil the eggs myself.  Life is simple but good from this hospital bed.

I am missing real life though, especially when I can see the amazing sunny weather from my large windows.  Walking around.  Doing stuff.  Going places.  Driving places.  Working on spreadsheets.  Sitting up.  Working out.  Thinking about the new house deco.  Even doing laundry, cooking, and cleaning.  But most importantly, spending time with Andy and Jordan, especially Jordan who is a staple of my life all day.  I miss it so so much.

But for now, my prime objective is to, as the doctor's put it, "be boring and stay rested," so baby Ethan can cook a bit longer inside of me instead of the NICU.

When everything happened insanely quickly after my Wednesday appointment when the doctor realized my cervix was opening from within and the baby was breached, we were so blessed and lucky to have so many friends around to help out with Jordan.  Jordan didn't even know anything was off.  Then, May, Andy's mom, was able to arrange a flight out to be with us (for who knows how long at this point...) on Thursday and has been with Jordan while I'm in the hospital and Andy is at the hospital working.  We are so so lucky that she could come out to be with us and help us out.  She has been learning the semi-complex driving roads of Spokane and getting out with Jordan and I feel so comforted knowing Jordan is with Grandma all day long.

Every day, I get to see Andy if work is light (not often), if he has some spare time to come finish his notes in my room, and when he drops off my lunch.  Then, for dinner, I get to see May, Andy, and sweet little Jordan who's face always lights up when he's strolled into my room before he goes insane running after the hospital curtain and trying to look out the big windows in my room.  It's not for long and I know he will forget who Mommy if I do make it through four more weeks to term, but I suppose it's a small price to pay for being able to take Ethan home with us.

I know it's only been four days, but I feel like everytime I see Jordan, his hair has grown so much and that he gets taller everytime I see him.  I can't believe how much quicker he seems to change when I don't see him every second of the day.

I'm nervous about a lot of things right now, but trying my best to relax and just focus on cooking the baby inside of me.  My mind races often to a million places and sometimes I'm lost in a sea of bewilderment, wondering why I'm going through pre-term labor.  I always thought only those carrying twins went into pre-term labor and the rest were very rare cases.  Alas, I am one of them now.  I also find myself thinking... well, I have been so healthy during this entire pregnancy, working out, eating right, and the baby has always been healthy... so what exactly happened?  Did I do something wrong?  Why did my cervix open up?  Was I too stressed?  Was there too much going on?  Is my body actually really weak and unable to handle it?  Will this happen each pregnancy after also?

I know there's no rhyme or reason to it, but also that modern medicine has made it possible for me to be here, being boring all day long, watching Parenthood (my favorite new show!) and sleeping.  I know there is no specific reason or maybe there are a lot numerous reasons, but one thing I do know is had I been alive in a different time, I might not be here anymore. Or my baby might not be here anymore.  And for that, I am so grateful and willing to forgo all curious wonderings and just focus on staying hydrated, peeing, and laying on my side (defying gravity by not letting baby kick its way out of my cervix).

I'm not sure how much longer I'll be here.  Probably until the baby comes but ideally, we'd like to cook him until week 37 which is a LONG four weeks (not four days) from now.  Only today did I realize that means through Jordan's birthday, Mother's Day, and my own birthday (38 weeks), which is a bit sad but there are worse things and for now, I'm okay with just being boring from my hospital bed.

From my hospital bed,
Ms. Boring

 the commode I used for the first two and a half days before I was taken off the IV and given bathroom privileges

 the nice hotel looking couch and view of downtown Spokane

 my trusty sidekick so far

 like my little arm bracelet?  It looks very punk rock. 

 I'm doing a-okay. 

A photo I got showing me my son was okay while I was in the hospital.  How I miss him so much!

Too soon!

Today has been a whirlwind of a day. It started at morning report of my medicine rotation, where I found out that there were 8 new patients admitted overnight, which is a ridiculously huge amount at my program. That meant a ton of work throughout the day. It got a lot more hectic when I got a phone call from Daisy at the end of morning rounds informing me that she was being admitted into L and D for pre-term labor.

Our little guy inside her belly is only almost 33 weeks. We'd like him to get to 35 weeks, and love for him to get to 37 weeks, but it will take both medical and divine intervention to get him there. So while Daisy sits in the hospital, and I am at home listening to Jordan coo himself to sleep, I alternate between reading up on my long forgotten OBGYN literature, and pray for my wife and son. One of those things brings peace, the other, not so much - I'll let you figure out which is which.

Thankfully, Daisy is a strong woman, and can handle the lone hospital bed, which is to be kept flat at all times. Thankfully, my mom found an early morning flight out. Had my mom been unable to get here until later, we have already been overwhelmed with outpourings of support, and offers for help. People are truly good.

A Foreshadowing of the Future?....

Andy wanted this print instead.

In case you have no clue what this means... it's the Masters Golf Tournament logo and the green is the jacket you get if you win.

 

Vacation Memories (aka lots of photos)

I had some leftover photos from our last day in LA, having dim sum with my mom and brother, so here they are!

And then we were off to Arizona to stay with the Bluths for a week!  They just bought a new house last year and it is absolutely gorgeous and so impeccably decorated, it looks straight out of a magazine.  Look at the little diaper wreath on their door.. adorable eh?!

 Eliot and Jordan... methinks Jordan can't wait to have siblings (or cousins around!), he loved having Eliot and Jaxson around all the time whether it be in the car or in the home.  We started off Tuesday night with a trip to Cafe Rio and then headed to Last Chance early Wednesday morning.  Jordan was in heaven having a buddy next to him in the car, even if it doesn't look it here. 

Eliot and Jordan decided shopping was overrated and instead took a bunch of trips on these airplanes.  

They just sat there when it wasn't running and as a result, got a free ride when another boy came on.  

They both kept saying "wooooo" and Jordan of course said, "deeee!" (which is his way of saying airplane)

We had burgers at Fez (mmmm sooo good) for lunch, and then went home to rest.  We were out and about again for dinner at Postino's.  

 Our amazing hosts for the week.  The Bluths just had a 2 month baby and Jen was such a trooper for taking Will everywhere and feeding him.  They not only hosted us and our crazy kids for a week but grilled an amazing dinner Thursday night in their beautiful new home AND hosted Easter lunch which was fantastic and delicious.   Thanks Bluths!

 The Garners stayed with Quinn's family for the week where all his family was back for his sister Jenna's missionary farewell (which we got to attend on Sunday!).  Love Eliot's face here.. hahaa and Ryan Seacrest's Quinn's too. 

Tara (Quinn's sister) and Jordan who were just getting married last time we were in Arizona visiting!  How time flies...

Us....

Justin since Jess and Jaxson were off somewhere...

Here they are earlier... Jaxson and Jess.. isn't she a cute prego girl?!

Exploring the baci ball field at Postino's...

 And then they discovered the sand....

 He just loves his sunglasses...

 it's a great distraction, that plus paper airplanes...

 Divine food at Postino's...

 If only I could muster up all these ingredients for bruschetta...

We went to the Cubs vs Mariners spring training game on Thursday at noon, and boy was it hot.  Scorching hot.  Our iPhones said 75 degrees but given there was rarely any shade (don't be deceived by the photo.. it was obnoxiously BRIGHT!), the sun directly above us, and not a breeze at all... boy was it hot!

I barely watched any of the game, trying to escape the heat with Jordan.  It was so hot, I couldn't even eat!  All I wanted was a frozen lemonade.  Afterwards, we went to Bahama Bucks... hooray!

 

And this was the first of ... I think four times we went in the next few days....

Friday was Jen's birthday so we kicked off the day with donuts and balloons we blew up and hung over her door with streamers.  I think the kids were more excited about the balloons than Jen, but it was fun nevertheless.  The boys watched the kids while the girls went to shop, and then we met up with everyone at this Chinese Mexican restaurant which was so much food, that none of us were hungry by dinner.  We left the kids with the men again and went to get gel shelac (sp?) manis and pedis that Claire got for all of us!  It was amazing (and has been a long while since I had a mani or pedi last).  Oh how spoiled we were!  We ended up eating take-out at home because we were all sooo full from lunch and of course, had some more Bahama Bucks! 

On Saturday morning, the men went to golf and the women went to an Easter Egg hunt with the kiddos.  Justin's sister and cousin came out so here Jordan is getting cozy with his sister, Alisha.  

 Cute lil William!  Being such a great lil man throughout the trip!  I think I heard him cry once.. maybe.

 Jordan helping Jen push William to the Easter egg hunt. 

 Easter egg hunt.. on!

 

The rest of Saturday was spent eating Cafe Rio, shopping, and more Bahama Bucks!  Hahahaa.  Some of the adults went to the Easter Pageant but I stayed home with Jen and Alisha to watch Les Miserables  and just relax after the kids went to sleep.  The boys all went to help clean up the chairs from the Pageant and then, came home with some late night burritos.  

Sunday morning, Jaxson and Jordan spent all morning running around in the Bluths' backyard.  They were both in absolute heaven.  

 We went to Jenna's missionary farewell and then came back to an amazing Easter party hosted by the Bluths.  It was soooo adorable!!  I hope to one day be able to throw a party as cute as her.  

My photos are dark - but see how cute it was??

 

Jordan LOVED the food and ate a little bit of everything including ham, potatoes, peas, rolls, salad, fruit, etc. But maybe he was just stoked about sitting next to a cute girl and the free bunny ears he got.  

 

The only photo I have of all three boys courtesy of Jen:

To think this was them almost one year ago at our LA reunion in April 2012:

LA/AZ vacation is over!  *sniff sniff.  So sad... but it was a great week of relaxation, lots of shopping, eating, and good times with friends.  I didn't enjoy unpacking once we were back, but I did enjoy Jordan returning back to his normal sleep schedule (until today that is... but he did make it up with a really long nap).  

We have one more vacation coming up but there won't be any kids for Jordan to play with, only amazing family!  He will, however, have an awesome summer with both of his cousins around to play with so all is well.  All is well.