Love What You Do

So often, I hear the world encouraging us to find something we love and to do it.  Do what you love.  Work won't seem so much like work when you love doing it.  But how often is that really truly possible?  Is this lie that the Milennials are perpetuating really truth?  If everyone did what they love, who would do the not so fun stuff?  Or is our world so perfect that we can truly reconcile every single job to someone who would truly love doing it?

My mom made a comment today while we were facetiming with her about how bored I must be.  She can't grasp what I must do all day with three kids in tow.  On the contrary, I am never truly bored.  There is only a rare occasion when there is nothing to be cleaned, organized, cooked, or nowhere to drive to.  I am maybe honestly genuinely bored with my life about once a week when all the chores have been done, all the kids have been fed, and my kids are fed up with running errands or making trips to the park or mall and just want to hang out at home.

I think in many ways, I have found that I am loving what I do.  I am finding ways to be more efficient, noting the time it takes to unload the dishwasher, re-organizing things here and there to make it easier to find, doing one load of laundry a day and feeling accomplished when it gets into the drawers, and teaching my kids to clean up during the day (yes, even if they're just going to take it out again, because isn't that after all, what life is all about?  Doing over and over and improving along the way?).  I am finding so much joy in simple things.  In perfect balancing a meal for my kids at lunch and then sweeping the crumbs and droppings away right after, in making the bed as my kids jump onto the mattress, a minor obstacle now, in packing the right snacks and drinks as we venture off to the mall playground on our own for a break, or in practicing some letters, reading books, or playing together.  And the day goes by quickly, the week even quicker, and then I am at a new week once more.

It's hard to see the big picture sometimes when I'm stuck with poopy diaper after poopy diaper after poopy diaper changes.  It's hard to imagine the mundane things I've managed to find meaning in will mean much in the long run.  Nobody will care that I've fed the kids, changed their diapers, given them baths, or cleaned the house.  But I still find joy in it.  Like I can take a nap whenever I want with the help of the crib and a television/ipad/iphone.  Like I can eat whatever I want for lunch since I'm making it.  Like I can dictate what we eat on a weekly basis because I am meal planning and grocery shopping.  Like I can go to the mall during the day and just roam around aimlessly as I please.  Like I can post some thoughts on the internet as my kids play with the toys right by me at 11 AM on Friday morning.

I think about when I was in audit.  Did I truly love my job then?  Yes, I found joy in copying and pasting, in detailed testing, writing memos, and creating excel spreadsheets.  Of course I didn't truly enjoy that!  But I enjoyed the teamwork, the young people I worked with and the friends I made and the inside jokes we had during the day, while we commiserated over free fancy dinners at our work desks, and continued to work through the night and then met up for happy hour once work was done as if we couldn't get enough of each other.  I loved the perks of the job, the free travel, the free branded stuff, the free weekend community activities, and the experience that was adding to my resume, helping me to catapult myself for something greater in the future.  It was the whole package that I loved.  And it was that experience that prepared me for the multitasking, difficult people, problem solving thing called parenthood that I so entertain these days.

Love what you do.

What We've Been Up To....

After an actual hiatus, I'm back - but not for our family blog.  In my free time, since the year 2004, I have been trying to write a book.  Obviously, nothing has come to fruition as it has been 10+ years now!

But with the recent premier of the Fresh Off The Boat show on ABC, I decided it was time to get my act together before all my ideas get stolen (well not stolen, but you know - we ABC kids have all the same experiences so it's just a matter of who tells their story first!).  Luckily for me, the show centers around a dude's experience of being in America with immigrant parents and my experiences are from a female perspective.

Anyway, in an attempt to get my book finally written, I'm buckling down and getting it done.  Along the way, I created a blog to help with the creative outlet and try to gather some followers along the way.  It might not work, it might just be me telling stories that only I want to read, but oh well.  It's worth a shot.

Follow my new blog: Chinese Mom Say 
Follow me on Twitter: @ChineseMomSay
And leave me a comment!

In terms of an update: We had another kid, a girl this time!  And we have two more years of residency after Andy switched to occupational medicine.  Everything else is pretty much the same.  Oh, and I kinda sorta like Utah now.  Well, I'm enjoying it here.  The weather has also been really tame this winter.

Things Kids Say

Jordan on constipation: My poo poo was being naughty.  He was holding onto my stomach and not letting go.

Premie Baby Club

For reasons unknown to the medical professionals who have assisted me during my second and third pregnancy, I am officially part of a very important club known as the "Premie Baby Club."  Being part of this club means I had my third child early, after having my second child early also.  And because of that, I came home after giving birth without a baby, I pump every three hours, make multiple visits to the NICU whenever I can, and am once again with dry hands and a hopeful heart.

The sounds of the NICU are so familiar to me.  The beeps and alarms that go off, the constant humming of the monitoring, the little shriveled up cries from the babies lying all around, and the shuffle and hustle of the nurses that take care of these little angels.  The sting of the dryness that has become my hands have become numb as I am eager to wash my hands, the first thing I always do before signing in and going to see my baby girl.  But the trips have become increasingly painful as the wait to bring her home becomes more drawn out each time.

At first, the emotional and hormonal whirlwind of just giving birth had me sometimes crying about the fact that I didn't have my baby girl with me.  Thoughts and confusion about why me, or what had I done to, repeated themselves over and over again in my mind as I reviewed all the events leading up to my hospitalization and then labor before the medication had sunk in (magnesium and steroids).  Why was I stuck with such a cruddy cervix?  Could I even have another child knowing they might be stuck in the NICU again?  Perhaps this is how most people think when hardships are upon them, wondering why me, but I've learned it's not helpful.  It's really damaging and useless to think about such things.  Instead, turning to the silver lining, being grateful for all that you have, a baby girl albeit it in the NICU, but healthy and coming home eventually, family and friends pouring out support and love, a hospital nearby, technology for my to be hands free during pumping, and the financial means to pay for this very expensive but necessary hospital stay.  I am indeed grateful.  It's just so easy to forget when in the midst of something difficult.  But this too shall pass.

Life Changing

When you put Destitin or any diaper cream on your kids bum, you will notice how disgustingly thick that stuff is - you can use a wipe to try to remove it before you wash your hands, but it's pretty powerful stuff.

My new life changing epiphany of a hack?

POPSICLE STICKS.  I have a bunch leftover from making airplanes for Jordan's birthday (planes theme) so now, they sit in my diaper basket and when I need to lather up my son's bum, I just use that stick - give it a whirl in the Destitin cream and wooosh.  Wipe it all over his bum WITH the popsicle stick and my hands stay clean.

Best solution ever.

I'm a freaking genius.

Life As I Know It

I've noticed a lot of internal changes lately.  Mostly, my life has become more "mom" centered, which for me is a lot less "me" and a lot more "kids".  I still enjoy my alone time, I still try to do my nails at home and I take good care of my skin with a strict skin care regiment and face masks about once a week... but I just don't care about things the way I used to.

I used to be really into celebrity gossip.  If I look at an US Magazine these days, I don't even recognize half the faces on the cover.

I used to work out 4-5 times a week.  Now, I'm lucky if I get to the gym once during the week or do an at home workout once.  Truth be told, it means I don't care anymore.  There's no excuse, I make time for other things... I just don't make time to work out anymore.  So sad.

I used to shower everyday.  Now, if I'm not sticky or sweaty and it's been a day... no shower means more time for everything else I do want to do.  HAHA.

I used to be really into heels.  If I have to wear heels for more than one hour (usually for Church on Sundays), my feet start to long for some flats.  Give me some Sperrys, some flip-flops or even ballet flats (which I don't actually find particularly comfortable but aren't high so I'll take it!).  This coming from someone who used to wear heels with everything including jeans.  Yikes!

I used to hate cooking.  Now, I rather enjoy it when I get to come up with meals that I know my kids will enjoy and I won't detest too much.  Jordan loves penne pasta, it's his favorite - doesn't matter what you put on it, shoot he will even eat it plain.  Bubba loves fruit, any type of fruit you give him, he'll take it!

I used to hate having a disorganized home.  Now, I've learned to live with it... for a longer period of time than I would have before.  But it's still fun to go through and organize stuff every now and then.  HAHAHA.

I used to love working.  Now, I'm kind of over it.  I mean, I still put my all into it when I'm doing it, but I definitely don't look forward to it the same way I used to.  I'm sort of looking forward to the day when I get to be a full time mom and utilize nap time or quiet time to clean the house, cook a meal, do a craft, or read a book.

The other day, as I drove home from a fireworks show our uncle put on that didn't end until around 11 ish (while Andy was working), I thought.. man, this is so late... my kids are exhausted and though I'm not, I just want to get them into bed asap!  Oddly, I realized this is the same "prime" going out time of my 20's past.  Weird.  I am officially old.. not by age, but by what I am doing and prefer doing.  Like going home and putting my kids to bed, slapping on a face mask and reading or watching TV.  Hehe.  SOOOoooo much more relaxing.

But I guess that's part of growing up.  You can't always stay the same and you have to understand that change is inevitable.  It's not good or bad, it's just different.

Move 'Em On Out!

Our house has been driving me crazy lately.  The dishes are a never ending cycle that continue to perpetuate into a pile of disgusting need to wash even though we eat at my mother-in-laws at least two to three times a week.  It's completely baffling to me.  The crumbs that have manifested itself on the floor everywhere, poke me and actually hurt me sometimes.  We try to vacuum once a week but apparently that's enough when you're not able to put your foot down and the kids go running with their food towards the carpeted living room.  The toys are categorically placed into different bins, supposedly making it easier to clean up at night, but none of this matters when friends come over and the game always seems to be "let's take out EVERY SINGLE TOY he has and then see what we want to play with."  My kids love this game, it's not one they're allowed to play often.  The only thing I've been able to get under control is laundry, and right when I think I've got it down by doing only one load a day - from start to finish - the boys' room stares back at me taunting me, telling me to dare to fit more junk into those trunks.  What I really need is to invest in some transparent bins and store up all our winter clothes, making room for the summer ones - and I really need to find out if #3 is a girl or boy because then I can either put away some of these boys clothes until the next son comes along or what I'd really like to do is take my chances and trash 'em with the thought that I'll only have daughters here on out.  The reality is, we've got a room with a pretty good closet, jam packed with clothes from newborn to 3T and it's starting to get insane.  We also have an entire closet of Church dress shirts in itty bitty toddler sizes that are wrinkly and finally got hung up by Andy (I left them in a pile, telling myself I'd iron them one day... that day has not come yet nor will it ever...)  Can someone start inventing some iron-free toddler dress clothes already?!

I try to keep our bedroom toy free.  And I try to keep my desk clutter free.  I learned from my college roommate that a desk without much on it - really feels clean and good.  Instead, my desk is overflowing with bills I'm behind on (I missed my CPA renewal AGAIN .. dang it), photos I printed and am not sure if I should trash or keep, and ticket stubs for Jet Blue because my reward account is still under my maiden name (yet another task to do.. ugh).

So since we moved into our new home, I had been sharing my office space with the boys as their playroom.  The intention is to clean up the playroom every night before bed.  Of course, the reality is this doesn't always happen and most days, mom and dad are cleaning it up so mom can be sane.  I don't even care if it gets messed up right away the next day.  The bigger problem I noticed was that my desk was always gross.  My kids decided they wanted to work at my desk, color at my desk, and basically take over my desk.  And then I never really actually work at my desk.  I take conference calls from our bedroom so the boys can't break in while I'm on the call and the sitter can keep them occupied.  I rarely work in the designated office desk because it's easier to have the comp out in the living room while they play if I have to send an email and really, I try not to work unless I have to when they're around.  So what's the point right?

Except my sanity!  So... after having a really messy dining room cluttered with stuff we'd just throw when we got home and a really messy playroom, I made an executive decision to move their playroom to the dining room.  Let the mess be contained and let me have some sanity in my workspace.  I still need to get some type of shelf for a bunch of files that now sit neatly on the sides of the wall, I need to put up some frames (a year later and counting) and I need to pay my overdue bills... but it feels good to look around and not see any toys (okay.. there's a stuffed animal and a helicopter).  So I basically moved 'em on out.

Jordan asked me, "who's room is this gonna be now?"  I said.. mommy's work room and maybe baby?  And he asked, "but baby isn't gonna share with Bubba and me?"  So cute.  If we can fit em, I'm sure they will all share a room... especially since I often have an inkling that it's another boy.  Only time will tell!