The adversary is REALLY out to get us.
I've been trying my best to ensure I am ready to defeat opposition leading up to our wedding day but it seems like every corner I turn, a lot of "stuff" keeps happening. Everything seems to be getting harder at work. Deadlines seem to be piling on and in the midst of our big annual budget, I am asked to go out of town for a seemingly useless training on the east coast. I want to scream "that's not fair!" but then I remember that life is not always fair and cope. Simple lists of mine seem to grow by the second and items are constantly rolling over into the next day. Work days have become longer and difficult conversations with my parents have become more superfluous as I try to compromise their expectations with my hopes. What was once a nonchalant attitude towards multitasking and prioritizing has become laced with stress and tension. My patience has been tried repeatedly and I notice little things perturbing me. And then I stop and pray. Or I stop and read. And then I am calm. I'm reminded of why praying constantly is so important and no circumstance or location seems unfit for a quick prayer.
I guess I had anticipated the attacks from the adversary to come from elsewhere. I hadn't anticipated this type of struggle. We had shielded ourselves with simple but strict rules...rules that our other friends might poke fun at and laugh at .. but rules that we took seriously. Rules that included... no open mouth kissing, no hanging out alone past 11:30 PM, and no spooning. So many blessings have been noted from these self imposed rules such as confidence in our affection for one another, clearly understood without the confusion of physical feelings and a solid relationship focused on much more than butterflies in our stomachs. But really, the adversary found another way to attack us and knew we had weaknesses elsewhere that could be manipulated. Instead, the adversary decided to attack us where we least expected. Instead, the adversary got creative. Instead, the perfect storm was created.
As much as I want to do it all and carry myself out of the thunder and rain, I'm learning to say no and I'm learning to ask for help. I'm learning that God listens to me and sends me angels in all shapes and forms.. because sometimes, an umbrella isn't enough for a storm. Sometimes, you need rain boots, a great raincoat, and a friend to hold your hand as you leap across the puddles and anticipate the rainbow at the end of the storm.