Saturday, May 1, 2010

How Do I Love Thee?

Everyday, Project Wedding send me an update of how many days I have left, and a tip. The tips are always useful ones about DIY projects or reminders for things to do as it winds down to the big day, but mostly are to cost save and help plan w wedding, not a marriage or an eternity together. So, I can't help but wonder... where's the advice about how to ensure I am communicating appropriately, I am putting my future eternal companion's happiness ahead of my own, and that I am truly cleaving to my future husband to be? Yes... it is about 49 more days.. but the redundant wedding planning advice is uselessly unnecessary at this point. To all my married buddies reading this... what's one piece of advice you would give me in terms of my marriage and not my wedding?


Aunt LoLo said...

Oh my goodness, do I ever agree with Gena! We've been married for 5 years, and he had this awful habit of saying something that just ticked. me. off. It was a response he gave me ALL the time, nearly every time I told him about something that was bugging me.

Just last week? I finally thought to ASK him why he said that, when he knew it upset me. His response blew my mind - what I heard and what he MEANT were two completely opposite things. I wished I had asked him 5 years ago!

My real advice, though, is really close to that - work it out every. single. day. Don't EVER let stuff build up. If it's more than a day old, it's old news and is not admissible in a fight and should be forgotten. One of the worst things you can do for your marriage is to tally up the times he offends you, hurts your pride, or says the wrong thing...and then DUMP it on him when you feel you have sufficient evidence.

And have fun, girl - you're marrying your best friend! For me, the BEST part of getting married was saying 'good night' and then turning out the lights, instead of getting in a car and leaving him behind.

Tammy said...

I like what your friend said... you guys listened to those tapes too... don't listen to tone... listen to the words (so hard for me). But the advice I was going to leave you, before I got distracted... remember he is your best friend, and who you have to live with for eternity... fabulously great, but it is hard to remember when you are tired and cranky; that your relationship needs nourishment (and sometimes alone time is just as good as hanging with the kids) to survive and be healthy... don't take it for granted!