I think almost every girl wants to look good on her big day and I most certainly do.
...which is why today, after trying on my dress which was now built up with a higher neckline and sleeves, I was utterly disappointed with the pure hideousness of the dress destined to be a part of my big day. It seems they decided to not only build up the dress from its sister strapless version, but bead it along the way. It looked like I had a huge coat of arms in the form of bead on my chest. The sleeves bulked in their largeness and instead of being separate from the shoulders (as I think most sleeves are), they stayed connected to the bodice, not giving me much room to move my arms sideways and out. What's worse ...these aforementioned alterations cost $200.
After struggling all day with the looming bad feeling and overwhelming disappointment, I came up with a proposed solution and plan of attack. I'd first, call the manufacturing company Monday morning and give them a piece of my mind (in a logical matter of fact manner as to why they should consider additional customer service for their "temple ready" line which failed my expectations) and second, start to find a new seamstress to do alterations immediately. Either way, I shouldn't "mope," as my mom taught me, and should learn how to deal with it instead of being sad about it.
Yet, despite my plan of action, I still felt .... frustrated.
The really hard thing about getting sealed in a Temple is not that my family won't be there (it's not great.. but it's only a half hour they miss). In fact, today I have decided, the really hard part about getting sealed in a Temple are the minor details that my mom, aunt and other close family, are unable to help me with. None of us know where the dress should sit on the arms, the neck or the back. None of us have seen enough built-up dresses in real life to understand what shapes look better with what fabric and styles. None of us have a clue. ... which only makes me feel worse when my mom and aunt try to help me and I shut down because I have no idea how they can help me when I don't even know what it's supposed to be like!
So... I must be really vain, because...
I do want to look good on the big day. I do want to take my future husband's breath away. I do want my kids to say, "wow Mom, you looked great!" and I do want my daughters to bicker over who gets to wear mom's dress for their own wedding.
I do (not really a pun since I won't)
I think my mom saw the disappointment in my eyes because as she looked at the photos, didn't say much about how bad it looked (my mom is pretty blunt so I expected she would...) but only how we could easily fix it. She didn't dwell on the items, as if to communicate they weren't important. And she didn't treat it as a big deal.
It reminded me of my cousin's firstborn, who sometimes falls unexpectedly after running around. At these moments, everyone nearby yells "safe!" so she will know it's okay and not break down into tears.
I think that is the same as our parents (as my mom did) and Heavenly Father. He knows when things seem too much and we just want to hide and stick our head into a hole for a while. He knows when these moments happen and instead of egging our negativity or agreeing with our Debbie Downer type attitude, He does nothing. Nothing unless we act and act in faith. Nothing unless we are diligent in keeping and striving to keep the commandments. Nothing unless we prepare to receive inspired guidance from above. Nothing unless we do something. And that something can't just be anything.
Disappointments are gonna happen in life.. that's kinda just how life is. But it's how you deal with it that matters... how you respond with good cheer, and try to uplift yourself and others. That is incredibly hard sometimes but that's why we have our savior, Jesus Christ, and why our loving Father above gave us His beloved. That is why I know things will get better. Hey... the dress can't get any uglier at this point.. only prettier!