Monday, October 10, 2011

Dear Boppy....

Dear Wanna-Be Boppy,

I know a boppy is a popular nursing pillow and that I call you my wanna-be boppy or even boppy for short. I want you to know it is bceause when Jill, my cousin's wife gave you to me - all I knew was that you looked like the American boppy even though you were from a Taiwan store called Mammy Village. When I went to the site to check you out, I was apalled by the actual boobs and breast pumps in the product image gallery, as well as the postpartum bodyshaping and weird keep your belly small type underwear shapewear products. Then, when I went to a breastfeeding class at the hospital and the lactation Nazis told me a brest friend was far better than a boppy, I was a bit sad since you were my wanna-be boppy, not wanna-be brest friend but you did not seem to mind since you had a button similar to the brest friend's velcro, so really - you were better than a boppy or a brest friend!

When I was pregnant, I liked walking around with you around my waist, giving me support in the rear to balance with my growing baby bump. I enjoyed your existence as a "hey, I'm pregnant friends" accessory, back support, and even attempted to sleep next to you a couple of times (I found my body pillow from college was more comfortable and less awkwardly shaped but I still loved you so much). You were my best inanimate friend.

When Jordan was born, you rested beneath him, giving him a nice contour to rest inside. His tiny body fit so perfect into your arms and he loved the company you kept. We also invited you to our nursing sessions as a cushion for Jordan to rest atop, but my doctor advised me against feeding atop of nursing pillows (to help reduce spit-up and improve digestion), so our time was cut short. You remained a permanent fixture during Jordan's day time naps and continued to bring joy into our lives.

Now that I'm no longer pregnant and Jordan is no longer a newborn with limited movement and restrained neck muscles, we have fallen apart. Sometimes I forget you are there, waiting for us, just letting the dust fall onto you. Though we did not abandon you, you are far from present in our lives these days. The few times I even tried to put Jordan on top of you, nuzzled in like he was in his newborn days, he screamed and arched his back and stretched his arms and legs out in an attempt to roll over and out of you. I know you were sad, but I want you to know - he does not know what he does, he is too young to know the pain he may have caused you.

Well, I am excited to tell you - we have found another purpose for you. You have graduated today. From now on, you will serve as a cushion for my laptop and an intermediary between the heat from the computer and my sensitive lap. You will also serve a dual-purpose as a cushion for my husband's neck. You are similar to a neck pillow sold in airline gift shops but much bigger and more comfortable.

Though we have grown and changed... you are still able to serve a purpose in our lives and hence, remain a part of our family.

It's funny how our relationship makes me think about how as life changes... as my worries change from how to put bread on the table to how to make bread on the table to how to feed my children the bread on the table to how to teach my children how to have bread on a table for themselves... there is a constant source of love and support from God and Jesus and that I am guided along the way through the Prophet Thomas S. Monson and his Apostles as well as our Church leaders.

It reminds me of how much I love the living waters of our faith. Though Church is every week and can feel routine and repetitive besides General Conference which is once every six months and Stake Conferences which are for a group of Churches in our area every so often as well (because I'm unsure how often they really are... I think also 6 months...?), every message spoken is to be heard with the heart AND mind, enabling us to know for ourselves there is truth in action. I know sometimes I may hear the same advice, the same prophetic counsel, or even the same "miracle" testimonies of others, but each time I do - the emotional epiphanies and uplifting tranquility I feel remind me that the Spirit I am feeling is testifying of the truth there. It is quite tremendous and I am lucky to have these constant reminders of why the commandments are important, why prayer matters, why scripture study will strengthen me, why a good attitude is imperative, and the list goes on... but why all these things matter and help us to enjoy the full blessings God bestows upon us.

Pretty neat. Thanks for giving me that insight wanna-be boppy. You've done so much. You're great - don't you ever forget.

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