Holy Cow, Owning a Home Is Expensive!

I'm suddenly having a waive of regret for my lavish spending in my single days (I'm being slightly sarcastic as I don't think I was that lavish).  But then again, there are things I could have been more frugal about.  There was one roommate I had who was so good with her money, within a year of working, she had enough to pay all cash for a car!  I always laughed at how careful she was being, but now I'm jealous.  All those dollars wasted on clothing not even in style anymore, purses that don't get used, and shoes that just sit in the closet.  All those toiletries, facial products, and make-up that was thrown away when I decluttered before our last move or still sit in my drawers somewhere for the hopes of one day using them.  The little things that really do add up.  *sigh.  I seriously can't believe how much owning a home is going to be!  I thought we had done quite well with our savings, but now not only is the down payment going to take a huge chunk, but all the work we must do before we can move in (and it's not much compared to some of the homes we were looking at) is going to cost us an arm and a leg!

First, we have the down payment.
Then, there is the home inspection.
Next, there is home insurance.
Oh, and don't forget we have to do some contract work to add a washer and dryer line which is currently estimated at around $12K!
And of course, there is the cost of the appliances (fridge, washer, and dryer)
Last, we will need some curtains or blinds, something to cover our windows that are all without cover.

Eek!

This is before any deco on our part, any DIY furniture additions, frames, cute welcome to our home but please take off your shoes signs, any wreaths, any closet lining, etc. And we had hoped to upgrade to a King bed but that may have to wait a few years.  

It's going to be a very interesting budgeting year.  I am playing around with our budget to see where we can scrimp and save, but it's not looking good.  Maybe we need to stop dining out once a week or budget our weekly outings at $15 or less for all three of us.  Every last bit seems to count now.  We are saving a bit from a week of vacation to LA that has been cancelled since I will be too far along with baby #2.  Anyone have tips on how to save money?

Onward we go!

Update: I took a hard look through our budget and actuals from prior year, and like any real finance person evaluating a budget and where to cut costs... we've made some decisions on where to cut down on the luxuries of our lives.

We are getting rid of our gym membership (and the free childcare and pool access that comes with it) because frankly, we never got out there as much as we wanted and I have become reacquainted with P90x and Bar Method DVDs, we are cutting our eating out budget to $45 a month which is about once a month or twice if we eat on the cheap and with coupons, our grocery budget to $300 (that one is going to be hard for me!), and our hobbies are down to $40 a month.  Those are the costs we can control the most, as for baby and household which is budgeted at $50 and $40 per month, that might be a bit hard to control or space out when there are good Costco diaper sales or we're out of toilet paper, but we'll have to make do and hope the other cuts we made are good enough.  It's tough living on a budget, but I hope it's worth it.

I've mentioned in the past that we try to live by the 10-20-70 rule, tithe 10%, save 20% and spend 70% and we actually have been pretty spot on, but the challenge will be keeping that up with the house purchase.  *big gulp... Hopefully our tax return will be good to us again.  Fingers crossed!

Becoming a Mom

Everyday, I feel more and more like a mom.  I can't help but feel the overwhelming love and desire to want to kiss and hug my little boy all day long.  I look at him longingly, miss him when he takes a nap (albeit it I am also elated for the time to do much also), and scroll through all my photos and videos of him from the day before I go to sleep.  I think about everything I need to do, the meals I am going to make, I plan, I organize, I budget, and I love it all lately!  Maybe it's the beginning of the year.  Maybe it's us coming off of a family sickness.  Maybe it's the fact that it's not snowing anymore!  Maybe it's the fact that we're heading to the mall for a playdate soon.  Whatever ... it is awesome.

I can't seem to get enough of Jordan lately and I have never been more grateful to be home with him everyday as I am now.  I have never been more grateful to have a part-time job from home that allows me to grab him breakfast, change his diaper, and all while being on a conference call.  I also think it's because I'm finally becoming a mom. In the real happy sense.  Before, I feel like I was just going through the motions, doing what I needed to do, loving it sometimes, but also dreading it often, wondering how I'd get it all done, having a negative attitude that I had to push myself out of and looking for support everywhere I could get and really, more empathy from others also in my state of mind.  These days, I feel quite confident, like I know what I'm doing, like I've got the hang of things, like I'm no longer a newbie, and like I'm doing something right.  And yet, right when things are expected, doable, and almost easy (on some days), Baby Ethan will change all of that... but in a way, I'm excited.  It's like a new project!  A new opportunity!  A new work assignment!  A new responsibility!

Call it pregnancy hormones, call it insane motherly love, but I have been feeling that gushing feeling of pure love that so many moms talk about and I often feel so far from.  I have been staring at my son during my weekly morning call with so much happiness, watching him feed himself pancakes (I cut for him), watching his excitement over the balls and puppets on Sesame Street, and reveling in the joy of the rest of our planned day together.  A lot of nothing but hanging out and having fun interspersed with some household chores.

I've also come to realize I am much happier mommy and person when things are in place, even if that means a few more minutes or work on my part at the end of the night.  I don't care if it gets messy during the day, it's important that it looks well kept and orderly when I awake in the morning.  I've come to realize I am a much happier mommy and person when I cook with some music on.  It doesn't matter if I can barely hear the music or only jam to it for a little, it just has a way of making it better.  I've come to realize I am a much happier mommy and person if I have a great breakfast.  And by great, I mean something I want that might take some time to put together - an omelette, a smoothie, a parfait, or a breakfast sandwich with fruit.  That morning kickoff sets the tone at the top (that's me!) and really creates high morale in our household for the day.  And I've come to realize, nothing will remind you of how great motherhood is until your little one gets sick and you realize, you had it pretty easy before sickness.  Coming off of a viral something that got to our entire family, I am exceptionally happy that we are all good now.  Nothing like a bunch of foopies (fart poops), diarrhea, vomiting, and lethargic and sad baby to remind you healthy is good.

Here's to motherhood.  And loving it!  And becoming a mom.  Day by day... here I go!

New Year's Resolutions

It feels like every year, I'm hoping I can grow out my nails and do the splits and every year... I fail.  This year, I finally have new goals in mind (though I'd still like to grow my nails and do the splits) that will benefit more than myself.  With the new house and all the money that will go into it, it means a lot more for me to budget appropriately and ensure we save as much as we possibly can.  

In analyzing our 2011 budget vs. actual, it has come to my sad attention that I spend way too much on groceries.  My monthly budgeted amount is $400, but in reality, I spend a lot more on average per month than that... so much, that I'm mortified to admit how much.  True, my budgeted grocery total does include toiletries and baby stuff that I'm not always eager enough to split out from my receipt totals that flow through Mint.com, but after discussing it with Jess, our dear friends in a similar situation as us (first year residency with one child), I realized I am way too extravagant in my grocery expenditures.

In order to think about what I could cut back, I tried to think about the more expensive purchases.  These usually include fruit as I like not only bananas, apples, and oranges, but raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, melons, and pineapples.  In fact, I like fruit so much, I can eat up to five types each day as snacks, dessert, and just something to munch on before dinner.  Besides fruit, I can't really figure out why my purchases are so much.  And then I realized ... maybe it's because a lot of stuff I could use just sits there.

So this week, I am avoiding the grocery store (except for milk and some sugar).  With all the stuff in our freezer and canned goods cabinet, I knew I could make it work (I just didn't necessarily want to).  Here's my meal menu for the week, all using things we already have on hand  Unfortunately, we are having chicken a lot, but there are worse things in life (like being broke!).  Alas, only time will tell if I can make it work and save us some money!

Mon- crock pot chicken with onion soup mix, cream of chicken, chopped onions, and sour cream over pasta and a green salad with mixed greens, tomatoes, cucumbers, sliced almonds, craisins drizzled with balsamic vinaigrette.
Tues- chicken quesadillas with acorn squash and kale
Wed- tortellini with brussel sprouts
Thurs- chicken curry with carrots, onions, and potatoes over rice
Fri- taco salad pizza
Sat- leftovers and OUT!
Sun- green beans with marinated steak over cous cous

Surprisingly, despite my love for shopping, we spend very little on shopping.  In fact, our average monthly expense is less than $10.  Ha!  We basically get all our clothes from our parents.

I'm also resolving to spend more quality time with this cutie pie who is turning into such a big boy.  He's become a lot more attached to us than before, and sleeping has become an issue for him.  Instead of going down nicely for the night, he cries and pats his bed for us to go sleep by him.  Christmas vacation really ruined him since he grew so accustomed to us sleeping with him.  He also has been waking up at 6 AM or earlier for the last two days, which is NO FUN AT ALL.  The 7 AM or 8 AM wake-up time he normally has is much preferred, though I'm hoping it has to do with the fact that he hasn't been eating much cuz of this virus he has but is getting better and waking up cuz he's hungry.  Hey, one can be hopeful.

My friend Wendy, like all Asians, got him these crocs last Christmas, but got 'em big so he could grow into 'em. They finally seem to fit but we won't be wearing them out in the snow for now haha. Just around the house dude! 

 or to ride our bike in the house with.

 We went to the mall to hang out and I didn't bring the stroller.  Big mistake!  He wanted to be held like a baby while he sipped his nalgene all throughout the mall.  I finally took a break right here and let him just play with his Nalgene full of Gatorade. 

Reconnecting With My Asian Roots

There's something fascinating about growing up the child of two Chinese immigrant parents in the United States.  And as I become more in tune with American culture and tradition, even at the age of 30, the more I recognize that much of my childhood was embedded in very traditional Chinese ways.  Yet the exception to the rule were the little ways my parents pushed us to be more American.  A walking paradox, confused state of mind, one could say.

To stay out of the kitchen and do my homework (except for the dishes, then I was welcome), to immerse myself in extracurricular school activities and socialize with my classmates to guarantee easier admission into college but to be forbidden to stay overnight at any friend's sleepover party.  To do well in school and attend Chinese school on the weekends, to attend SAT prep classes but still speak Chinese at home (Chinglish more like it).  To respect my parents, show filial piety, and address all adults with Mr. or Mrs. Surname, even when I am in college and my friends' parents insist I call them by their first name.

Here I am at 30, still Asian and still trying to learn more about my own culture that I thought was very much a part of me until now.  Now, I'm realizing I don't know how to cook any of the dishes I love.  And I can't rely on my mom to mail me food or tell me how to make it in a frenzy over the phone my entire life.  I have to start collecting.  Making note of the recipes.  Gathering the recipes.  Practicing the recipes.  Doing my due diligence to nurture my Asian side.  I can't remember most of the Chinese fables that go along with each season or holiday and find myself googling it to see if I can jog my own failing memory.  Learning about my own culture as if I didn't live it growing up.  As if I never heard those stories a thousand times at Chinese school.

I tried to make Sunday our Sushi Sunday yesterday.  I had great plans.  I was so excited.  I couldn't wait!  Growing up, I always helped my mom make rolls and it was always so easy.  Of course, I never knew the exact ingredients, but I was a good roller and our sushi looked great.  Me on my own?  Not so much...

Nothing a ton of soy sauce and sriracha couldn't fix. 

Today, we're trapped inside from the snow outside.  We only have one car that can make it in the snow, so Andy took that car (not without first trying with our other car and failing).  So today, I will also take a stab at making some red bean soup, though I don't have any of the glutinous rice flour to make my glutinous rice balls (tang yuans) in pink and white. 

And then we'll probably make some homemade bread.  Go to the apartment gym and run around.  Watch some tv.  Nap a little.  Sing some songs.  Clean the house.  What else is there to do when you're snowed in?  

Mormon History Museum Children Area

One of my favorite parts about visiting the Salt Lake Temple Square (besides the beautiful lights and peaceful nature of the place) is the free Mormon history museum with the fun interactive children's section!  The last time we went, it was closed and Jordan was too young, but this time - perfecto!

 I thought this was neat.. but the picture doesn't do it justice.  Just a bunch of light bulbs!  brains thinking hard!

 Loved the velvet color cushions.

 The star lanterns.. so beautiful.

 Funny mirror, but really I just like this mirror cuz my legs look so skinny in it despite my growing abdomen.

But here's an actual photo of Jordan who is the main character here.

 

Fishing with Daddy and some stranger kid. 

 got one!

 so this is the boat Lehi built Ogo?

 provident living: planting your own veggies and then harvesting 'em

 chickens?

 eggs?

riding with Grandma

Upset that Grandma left. hahaha. 

For Selfish Reasons...

I really wanted number two to be a girl.  I wanted another female presence in the house with me.  I wanted to play with dolls, stuffed animals, Hello Kitty, ruffles, pearls, and make-up.  I wanted a chandelier in the nursery, an overload of lace and purple, and to watch My Little Pony and Strawberry Shortcake on TV.  I wanted the easy bake oven I never got, the kitchen set I never had, and the dress up clothes I never owned.

But for some reason, as soon as the first trimester was over, I just knew it was a boy.  I just knew Jordan was going to have another brother and best buddy ever.

If I set aside my own selfish reasons for wanting a girl, I knew that a boy was the most practical and sensical next step.  Jordan would have a built in best friend and playmate, the toys wouldn't double in size and could be used for both boys, and the super cute clothes Jordan only got to wear once would come into play again.  And, knowing we would continue trying to grow our family, there would be ample future opportunities to have a girl.

But still... I hoped and wished and dreamed.

And then I had a conversation with Heavenly Father.  Somehow, I thought if I told him I wanted a boy, I'd get a girl.  Eventually, the conversation became help me to be happy no matter what.  Help me to see the silver lining, help me to be grateful for the many blessings I do have.  Like the healthy son, the happy son, the energetic and independent son.  The supportive husband, the loving husband, the awesome husband that was willing to wait until the baby was born to find out the gender (if I so desired).

And then this morning, we went to the ultrasound.

Now I'm no ultrasound technician, but even I could see our baby was flaunting his goods.  There was, without a doubt, a pee pee between his legs, and more than five times, he wanted to show us so.  I was a little disappointed, not because it was a boy, but because I felt guilty for wanting a girl so badly that I forgot how beautiful the entire process of this is.  I was disappointed in myself for letting the gender become that big of a deal.  Of course it's nice to have both, but it's also just nice to have kids period.  And I think I forgot that part during the whole is it a boy or girl thought process.  I also forget that in that growing abdomen of mine, there is actually a human being being nurtured who will make his debut in half a year and how dang amazing is that.  I had let all the desires of wanting a girl versus a boy take over the pure joy of having a baby itself, and I had forgotten the pure beauty of it all.

Jordan and Andy both also witnessed the pee-pee show, but then Jordan grew impatient so Andy and him left while the intern (no offense but never let an intern do your ultrasound, it took forever!) tried to find all the necessary parts.  Over the course of an hour and a half, I saw the baby try to suck on his fingers, missing a few times, and then trying again.  I saw the baby's big foot, many times as he stubbornly lay there, refusing to turn for the technician as she hoped.  I saw an up close snippet his nose and lips, resembling much of the rest of the family with very thick lips, and I saw what in my mind, was him waving at his mommy, saying "It's going to be okay Mom, even if you don't get a daughter right away, I'll try to marry a good girl who will love you like a daughter."

And I do get two dances with both sons when they get married.  So I'll just think of that and revel in the joy of having yet another boy!  It's a boy!  And I think it's going to be great....!  We already have a name and a nickname, but for now.. the nickname will be Bubba!

view from bottom of butt looking up

big foot!

My Crafty Husband

Part of our Christmas gifts to Andy's family were specially customized t-shirts!  Since his family LOVES Indiana Jones, he came up with this idea all by himself and with the help of our way crafty and uber talented friend Jen, we got this image to silk screen onto t-shirts (Jen is also the talented photographer who took Jordan's three month photos which is where the Indiana Jones hat image is from).

Andy then researched how to silk screen, ordered a vinyl cut out of the image in reverse from Etsy, and then got all the materials to silk screen (on his own - we were in California at the time!) the t-shirts himself.  What a hunk of a crafty man.  

They loved 'em!