I've been going to sleep at 10:30 PM every night... or trying to, at least.... so I can become accustomed to an earlier schedule for my future husband, who faithfully sleeps at 10 PM every night. Sometimes... I fail a bit and end up sleeping at 11 or 11:30 but tonight.. I am failing miserably. It is 12:30 AM and I am still wide awake. Not even a bit tired. Something has been on my mind all night.
What's neat is ... staying up...I was able to catch Sky on google talk. Sky, contrary to what one might think at first, is not inactive. She is in Africa, doing some awesome things and I admire and look up to her in so many ways (even though she is shorter than me). I live vicariously through her experiences going abroad and through her eyes (or magnificent photos on facebook), am able to see some of the world that I have not been to.
What's also neat is the inspiration I had to just blog. As I was saying my prayer before bed, the Spirit overwhelmed me and I felt like I really just needed to blog about FHE tonight.
David and I are FHE co-chairs, and we haven't done a great job with our callings. Most of the time, we are frantically calling each other on Sunday night to figure out who is giving the spiritual thought, who is bringing the treat and who is conducting. Though a committee of about seventeen, we are normally, on average, about five strong excluding us two. But we have acknowledged this and are actively seeking to remedy the situation ... and also learning how to delegate, a developmental point for both of us. And so far, we have had a great time working together (yes, I speak for both of us).
A couple of weeks ago... we were told we couldn't use the Church building for an upcoming FHE. Though daylight savings has happened and it's pretty light at 7:30 PM, we weren't quite sure it was time for ultimate frisbee at the park yet, and the Bishopric preferred we visit their homes in the summer instead (seems like a summer thing, right?). So,,, what were we to do?
Luckily for us, one of our ward members was close by when I was told this, and had just moved into an awesome assisted living apartment about five minutes from the Church and really wanted an opportunity to have people over. He asked me if we could have an FHE at his new apartment and it was as if Heavenly Father planned for us to have just the right timing.
Tonight was the FHE at someone's house. Our host gave us the spiritual thought and I was so touched by his sincere and honest testimony and the Spirit was so strong. I was so proud of him, of his new apartment, the beautiful nearby recreation room (complete with fridge, stove, large entertainment system, huge flat screen and DVD player, couches and dining table) and his generosity in inviting us over and having us over for game night FHE. Then, we even got to tour his apartment and as I walked around the room, noticing how empty (granted it's new) it was on the walls with the exception of a beautiful frame of Jesus and some people, I was just moved. There was also a photo of who I am guessing is his mom but it looked like a printed enlargement of a photo and wasn't framed. I suddenly became really sad. I know he's barely just moved in, but I think he's mostly all moved in...if that makes sense at all... and something was missing.
On the way out, I asked him if he needed anything and if he did, to let me know. I'm not sure why but I just felt like I could give him something. I suddenly thought of a desk I had that was going to be sold this weekend, and asked him if he wanted a desk for an empty area I saw behind the couch. He told me he was getting a dining table for that area but I quickly told him the desk was small enough that it could probably go in his bedroom. He seemed delighted.
I came home and I was still perplexed. What was bothering me?
FHE was bothering me.
Why didn't more people show up? Why was tonight such a poor showing? we normally get 30-50 people and tonight.. I even put signs up at Church and anyone who came late...could have still come.. or even called me if they got lost...
Confused. Sad. Disappointed.
And then.. I got a bit mad.
I often find my thoughts thinking about those with disabilities and how to help them and as much as I hate to admit it, feeling sorry for their situation. Unsure of how to help, I am often lost. So it the case often with our host. He is so kind hearted, so strong with his testimony and so friendly. He was actually one of the first people I met at Glendale 7th and he reached out his hand and introduced himself to me and ever since, I have never gone a Sunday without saying, "Hi, how's it going?!" And, I'll be the first to admit - there are times when I struggle with how to answer or deal with him - when he pesters me about FHE and if we can do a cooking lesson (which logistically seems like a nightmare) or he gets upset that our FHE skit night is more improvised and not prepared like a full play he is accustomed to. And I've seen others unsure of how to respond to him, how to tell him he's not invited to a party or get together that is just for close friends, or how to tell him something said that he misheard was not inappropriate.
And then... I got sad.
And then... I just stopped. We have a saying at work. Solutions, not problems. Because I know he does not want me to feel sorry for him. He is one of the happiest people I know and he was psyched for those of us who did join him.
Who cares if the normal FHE gang didn't show up tonight? Those who did - had a blast! Who cares if not everyone got to hear his amazing spiritual thought tonight? Those who did - are strengthened because of it! Yeah!!! DOUBLE YEAH!!!
And then... I became focused on my own thoughts again. There was something more I could do. I'm always praying about opportunities to serve others.... and here it was staring me in the face.
I thought of all these ideas... but in the end... this simple plan makes me feel the warm fuzzy inside me the most.
I am going to make him a Proclamation of the Family frame with photos of him and his other family, the G7 family, surrounding the Proclamation and it will be for him to hang in his new apartment. I will plan to take photos of him and friends over the next couple weeks or even month - however long it will take to get some good images ... maybe steal some from facebook... and hopefully he hangs it on his wall which won't be as empty with the beautiful painting of Jesus and his Proclamation. And ... getting creative.. maybe when I give it to him - I will ask the other FHE Committee group to help me and we can have a lil party at his house to thank him for opening his new apartment to help us with our FHE activity. And maybe... just maybe, we'll invite other people who missed out on tonight.
I'm quite excited to say... I have a plan!