I expect turquoise boxes with overpriced and mediocre heart shaped jewelry inside.
I expect soft stuffed animals with red hearts, along with red roses, chocolate, and mylar heart balloons.
I expect lots of glitter, tissue paper, and poems from the heart.
I expect bubbly drinks, fancy dessert, and elaborately thoughtful expressions of love.
I expect all of this because that's what Facebook, Pinterest, and the television tell me.
Can you tell I'm still not a fan of Valentine's Day despite being happily married? What used to be S.A.D. (single awareness day) is now just S. A. D. (such a dud). Don't get me wrong, I'm glad it reminds us the meaning of love, to be grateful for love, and to love love love... but ultimately, the historical objective of Valentine's Day was just to make more money, and because of what it's become... we just spend too much effort for a made up holiday. Yes... I'm Ant-Valentine's, yet here I am blogging about it, precisely why I despise Valentine's Day!
The only thing I want from Valentine's Day this year is pink sugar. Edible pink glitter, buttery pink frosting, frothy pink drinks, silky pink maple syrup, creamy pink whipped cream, savory pink pudding, and addictive caramel pink popcorn. And a pink crown to top it off. Think pink!
Friday, February 3, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Why Everyone Should Journal
I come from a family of hoarders. I don't like to admit it, but it's about time I purge myself of some old toiletries (perfumes, make-up, lotions, sprays, etc.) and clothes... and I am making it a goal to do so before we move for residency. In my defense, I know glitter is going to come back, I know my purple eye shadow trio is going to be cool again, I might need a miniature sized tube of lipstick one day, I never know when I might need another tube of eye cream, and I just might want to use my Love Spell lotion or Gio perfume soon. My dad keeps a lot of excess nails, computer cords and accessories and anything else he collects at garage sales (a hobby of ours almost every weekend growing up). My brother has piles of comic books he's collected over the years, board games and figurines from his Dungeon and Dragon days. And last but not least, my mom has shoes and random house items used for model homes she tries to sell. We are a family of hoarders.
After watching an episode of Hoarders recently, I started to think ... maybe I should try to organize everything for my folks. So with that goal in mind, I set to start conquering the mess in our garage today. I found old college textbooks I instructed my dad to throw away, all in a box. I found old clothes, I had told my dad were to be donated to Goodwill, also all in a box. I looked through old photos from high school and college, letters from middle school, old Hello Kitty wallets I had blinged with AB crystals from my ballroom days, and a pile of old journals.
I opened up one and this is what I saw:
The funniest thing is... Wendy and Eric are married. I sent this to Wendy, and some of our other close friends, and we all had a good laugh. It's no wonder my memory is the best out of all my friends. I have journaling to thank for that. And that my friends, is why everyone should journal.
After watching an episode of Hoarders recently, I started to think ... maybe I should try to organize everything for my folks. So with that goal in mind, I set to start conquering the mess in our garage today. I found old college textbooks I instructed my dad to throw away, all in a box. I found old clothes, I had told my dad were to be donated to Goodwill, also all in a box. I looked through old photos from high school and college, letters from middle school, old Hello Kitty wallets I had blinged with AB crystals from my ballroom days, and a pile of old journals.
I opened up one and this is what I saw:
The funniest thing is... Wendy and Eric are married. I sent this to Wendy, and some of our other close friends, and we all had a good laugh. It's no wonder my memory is the best out of all my friends. I have journaling to thank for that. And that my friends, is why everyone should journal.
Eric and Wendy... 16 years and still going (okay, they did break up in between but that doesn't matter). And if you don't know who Keroppi is, you're probably not Asian.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
A Day Without Me
Today was pivotal. Life-changing. Empowering. Transformational. And absolutely wonderful.
I went to the Southern California Power of Moms retreat and was gone from Andy and Jordan for more than 8 hours...! That might not sound like a big deal, but for a mom who has never been separated from her son for more than 4 hours, for a mom who still worries about if her son will eat enough solids to (since he still won't take a bottle), for a mom who is just a bit obsessive, overbearing and controlling.... to say I was intimidated is an understatement. I was terrified.
As for the retreat, it was AWESOME!!! I came home, opened up the copious notes I had taken, and started updating Andy on everything I had learned. I'll have to save a summary for another post (because it might be long, I'm tired from a late night date with laundry, and Andy just came home from watching the BYU game). More importantly, when I got home... I sadly realized I'm not that needed.
Apparently, Jordan did great without me! He ate, he slept, he went to the park, went to the store, went to Costco, to visit some friends, he even took some pumped milk from a straw (but caramel helped coax him to sip it faster). I'll be honest... I was a bit devastated. My heart hurt a bit. I guess maybe I secretly did hope he'd miss me a little, even though I also wanted him to be on his best behavior for Andy. I know I can't have both. As it turns out, my husband might need me more than my son. That's something.. right?!
"I'm so hungry, what's for dinner?" my husband asked when I stepped into the home - before even telling him how much fun I had!...
"Did you eat lunch?" I asked... "Well..." he stammered... "there's just no food at home," and I rebutted his statement with a ferocious stare and responded with, "WHAT?!" and he quickly finished his thought, "... that's easy to make."
Oh Andy.
Oh Andy.
I went to the Southern California Power of Moms retreat and was gone from Andy and Jordan for more than 8 hours...! That might not sound like a big deal, but for a mom who has never been separated from her son for more than 4 hours, for a mom who still worries about if her son will eat enough solids to (since he still won't take a bottle), for a mom who is just a bit obsessive, overbearing and controlling.... to say I was intimidated is an understatement. I was terrified.
As for the retreat, it was AWESOME!!! I came home, opened up the copious notes I had taken, and started updating Andy on everything I had learned. I'll have to save a summary for another post (because it might be long, I'm tired from a late night date with laundry, and Andy just came home from watching the BYU game). More importantly, when I got home... I sadly realized I'm not that needed.
Apparently, Jordan did great without me! He ate, he slept, he went to the park, went to the store, went to Costco, to visit some friends, he even took some pumped milk from a straw (but caramel helped coax him to sip it faster). I'll be honest... I was a bit devastated. My heart hurt a bit. I guess maybe I secretly did hope he'd miss me a little, even though I also wanted him to be on his best behavior for Andy. I know I can't have both. As it turns out, my husband might need me more than my son. That's something.. right?!
"I'm so hungry, what's for dinner?" my husband asked when I stepped into the home - before even telling him how much fun I had!...
"Did you eat lunch?" I asked... "Well..." he stammered... "there's just no food at home," and I rebutted his statement with a ferocious stare and responded with, "WHAT?!" and he quickly finished his thought, "... that's easy to make."
Oh Andy.
Oh Andy.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
How I Learned to Network
I wrote an article on networking for work, but totally missed the mark and the article wasn't professional enough to be included for our newsletter purposes... it also didn't address the right audience and was basically rejected. But the nice thing about having your own personal blog is you get to publish whatever you want. And I did want to still publish it because seriously... if someone had told me this before I started interviewing for jobs in college, I might not have felt so ill prepared.
I’ve always
viewed networking as hard work, difficult, daunting and at times awkward. I still have nightmares about the mortifying
experience of showing up to a “Meet the Firms” in college, where I reached out
to shake the hand of a partner for the second
time when he extended his hand to shake someone else’s hand and then tried
to pass it off as an effort to snag one of the branded highlighters they were using
to entice us college kids. I also have
found myself spitting up spoonerisms or unintentional tongue twisters and come
to the epiphany that I cannot attend networking functions in a suit jacket due
to my profuse sweating. Luckily, with
time, some maturity and some very effective coaching, I have learned the tricks
and tools of successful networking and have not had any reenactments of my
prior networking nightmares. Here’s some
insight into what I learned about networking, simplified by being a PRICK (easy to remember!)
P - Prepare – Some people are interesting and know
lost of random trivia facts, the news, the sports, and the most up to date
celebrity gossip. I, unfortunately, am
not one of these people. So before going
anywhere where I might be networking, or trying to make a good impression
(think a job’s meet and greet or a networking night), I try to brush up on the
day’s headlines. This helps me open
conversation up and gives me a lead in to talk about something I do have
knowledge of, and more often than not, it just helps me participate in a
conversation without being completely MIA.
This means when conversation turns to something I can participate in, I
am easily able to jump in and contribute whether it be about family, interests,
weekend activities, etc.
R -
Relax - The
establishment of strong relationships with your networks is most likely linked
to the fact that you are yourself and thereby, relaxed. It’s important to still be on your best
behavior with decision makers, but try not to be so stiff and unnatural or you
may come across as unapproachable and be tagged as socially awkward. You can
draw upon your prepared (see above) topics to as an ice breaker, but once the
conversation gets going, steering it towards something you can naturally
participate will lead to the most success.
The most successful networking conversations I have ever had were when I
relaxed and just talked about something interesting (rather than stiffly trying
to sound intelligent by talking about something I have little knowledge of,
like sports).
I –
Invest – You must make
the investment to build relationships. Connections
can be made almost anywhere - in elevators, hallways, doctor’s offices, the
grocery store, gyms, weddings, church, or even sporting events. Because
those connections are made at places where you are naturally inclined to be,
the development of the relationship will not feel like work, but will be an
enjoyable process. Likewise, don’t hate
the social networking websites that can help you keep in touch and continue
growing your network. When I first
joined LinkedIn, it was simply an outlet for me to keep in touch with
co-workers away from Facebook, which was my personal networking site. In actuality, both networking sites are valuable
investments that have expanded my network. And lastly, don’t forget about building
on existing relationships with your current co-workers. They may not seem like a valuable network
since they work in the same industry, know the same people, and if and when
they seek for a career change, it will probably be quite similar to whatever
you are looking for. But your current
co-workers actually know you best and know the skillset and experiences you
have had, can easily relate, and are your best advocates. Further, if they should leave and become a
past co-worker, they may have insight into new openings not posted and vice
versa.
C
- Connect - Consider for
a moment the last time you were truly excited to help someone. Contrast
that experience to the last time someone blatantly tried to capitalize on a
“networking” relationship. What led to the difference in attitude?
I find that I get excited to help people with whom I have a real connection;
otherwise, it feels like a chore, as if I am trying to store up credit in case
I need their help in the future. So connect with whomever you are talking
to as it will not only help you have an enjoyable networking experience, but
will help others remember you. In
connecting, it’s perfectly acceptable to keep in touch. I send e-mails every now and then to people
I’ve met who helped counsel or answer any questions I’ve had. It makes reaching out for future questions or
interactions a lot smoother and more natural.
K
– Keep at it –
Networking is not a one time deal. Don’t
get discouraged by one awful encounter (like my college networking nightmares),
and don’t get down on yourself when someone doesn’t respond to your outreach. The more you network, the more it becomes a
part of who you are. In time, your
network will be unbelievably large, strong, and insanely awesome.
me hard at work
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Happy Chinese New Year!
I didn't have any shark fin soup this year for Chinese New Year's. Last year, I couldn't have any because I was pregnant.... this year I didn't have any because we spent New Year's with my mom's side of the family instead (and my dad's sister is the one who knows how to cook it.. it's a pretty hard recipe from what I hear). My mom, dad and brother were sadly absent from the festivities here in the U.S.... probably having a more authentic and elaborate celebration in Taiwan. With the Chinese New Year being such a big deal in our family... it was kind of strange not having them around this year, so it was nice (and a sigh of relief that I didn't have to try my hand at some Chinese dishes) when my uncle invited the three of us over to his house to celebrate.
Besides the extensive menu of fish (it's important to eat, supposed to be good for the upcoming year), pork, chicken, and other stuff I'm incapable of translating, we watched football and drank a lot of apple cider (which my cousins got for us as they drank Taiwan Beer, yet at the end of the night, everyone was drinking apple cider because let's face it... it tastes way better than beer). We did come up with the realization that once our parents are gone... none of us know how to cook Chinese food the way they do. That's going to be a sad day but probably remedied by a lot of take-out from fobby Chinese restaurants.
Now the tradition of lucky red envelope or hong baos is you stop receiving once you're married and have to give a red envelope once you are married to the single children. So we gave my thirteen year old cousin a small red envelope for the new year and scored with Jordan who left with five red envelopes! He didn't care for the green inside, but he sure loved those red envelopes this morning! He's meticulously inspecting each one before tasting them, and he decided that wealth tastes bittersweet.
Besides the extensive menu of fish (it's important to eat, supposed to be good for the upcoming year), pork, chicken, and other stuff I'm incapable of translating, we watched football and drank a lot of apple cider (which my cousins got for us as they drank Taiwan Beer, yet at the end of the night, everyone was drinking apple cider because let's face it... it tastes way better than beer). We did come up with the realization that once our parents are gone... none of us know how to cook Chinese food the way they do. That's going to be a sad day but probably remedied by a lot of take-out from fobby Chinese restaurants.
Now the tradition of lucky red envelope or hong baos is you stop receiving once you're married and have to give a red envelope once you are married to the single children. So we gave my thirteen year old cousin a small red envelope for the new year and scored with Jordan who left with five red envelopes! He didn't care for the green inside, but he sure loved those red envelopes this morning! He's meticulously inspecting each one before tasting them, and he decided that wealth tastes bittersweet.
Gong Xi Fa Tsai! Good fortune and propserity and hopes for a dragon Phillips baby, though a snake would be okay too...as my uncle reminded my recently married cousin and her husband they had three more months to make a dragon baby!
The lucky platter of fruit and Chinese candies and nuts
Our Chinese New Year meal!
My racist cousins. Note Cindy told her husband to put up a peace sign, then advised him to squint his eyes. Yes, that's my family folks.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Marriage = A Lifetime of Cooking
My mom told me not to bother learning to cook until after I was married. She said I'd be doing it for the rest of my life, so like it or not, I'd learn to love it.
It was probably one of her best pieces of advice. .. .. ... . ever!
Before I was married... I knew how to make a killer smoothie, a notoriously delicious salad, and an incredible sandwich. Oh, and I knew how to cut some fruit. That's all a single lady really needs to know. That, and where the frozen food section in your local Trader Joe's is. I also knew the best places for breakfast, dessert, dinner and happy hour all over LA.
Now that I've been married for a little over a year and acquired $100K in student debt, eating out is not an option. So I have dived headfirst into the world of cooking. I have slowly learned English names of vegetables (even though I'm American Born Chinese, it's surprising how little I know in a grocery store besides the basic vegetables), acquired a few new cooking tools along the way, and I am slowly making my way into hoity toity cooking (last night, I made a butternut squash with carmelized onions, gorgonzala, cheddar, and spinach pizza!... I made the dough myself, and this morning, I made us omelettes, an egg white one for me, with bacon, cheddar, red bell peppers, onions and squeezed some fresh OJ!.. welcome to Dining with Daisy!).
No, I never took home-ec in school though I wish I did. Instead, my marriage is homemaking 101.
In just a year and a half of marriage, I have learned:
1) what pork roast looks like
2) where everything is in a grocery store
3) what simmer means
4) how to pronounce colander INcorrectly (some things won't change)
5) how to cook butternut squash
6) how to cut a pineapple
7) how to chop an onion
8) how to sugar my nuts
9) how to make bread from scratch
And most importantly...
10) that my guinea pig husband loves me as he eats everything I make with a smile and tells me it's good (he doesn't lie, but I notice when his mom or sister cooks, he says how good it is with real zest, the same zest I have only been lucky to hear from my own creations on a few occasions).
But I won't lie.. cooking almost everyday can become tiring... so I'm grateful my husband is so encouraging. Thanks soy sauce! You're the best and I'm glad I get to cook for you almost every night!
Oh... and... that bacon makes anything delicious. Even whipped cream from a can. Yes... try it, then knock it.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Cuddly Baby
My baby's been super cuddly lately. He wants nobody but me, not even his Daddy will do. If I leave him on the floor, he'll crawl over to me, pull himself up, and bounce up and down in his standing position, content just to be near me. If he's tired and not in his usual chipper mood, that's not enough and he wants to be cuddled, but only by me! Sometimes he'll crawl and mumble, "mum mum mum" in between small tears, unaware what it means, only a mutter used to get my attention. I've never felt so loved! Nothing can compare to the bit of pride sprinkled with a bit of guilt and pity for Andy since Jordan obviously prefers me now (I'm sure that won't last when mom's telling him to pick up his toys and dad is full of fun games and sports talk).
The last time Jordan really cuddled with us was around three months old, this new phase of his is quite refreshing. Some things haven't changed in the eight months of Jordan's life... like how much he still loves the Bjorn, being held upside down, having his legs pulled straight (Asian wives' tale to get longer straighter legs), taking a bath, and smiling. Other things... like the difficulty of changing his diaper, putting him to sleep, and putting his clothes on, continue to baffle me.
He loves balls, ropes, electronic devices (remote controllers, beepers, and phones) credit cards, putting all of these into his mouth, crawling, standing, Baby Einstein, and yours truly.
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with his obsession of me, but then I remember... this won't last forever and he will grow up and not want to hug mom anymore. So for now, I am indulging in the moment, taking it all in, and loving it. Okay, so maybe not all the time, but I'm trying... and I remind myself of the honor and the greatness of being all that he wants sometimes.
Funny enough, for how much he loves me, I hardly have any photos of just him and me. Better start asking strangers to take photos for me, or learn how to take better reverse shots of us (it's hard because all I focus on is how I look - egotistical me, and Jordan is always not paying attention when I look good hahahahaha).
Us at the BYU vs UCI volleyball game where the Cougars beat the Anteaters. I know, Anteaters... really?
The last time Jordan really cuddled with us was around three months old, this new phase of his is quite refreshing. Some things haven't changed in the eight months of Jordan's life... like how much he still loves the Bjorn, being held upside down, having his legs pulled straight (Asian wives' tale to get longer straighter legs), taking a bath, and smiling. Other things... like the difficulty of changing his diaper, putting him to sleep, and putting his clothes on, continue to baffle me.
He loves balls, ropes, electronic devices (remote controllers, beepers, and phones) credit cards, putting all of these into his mouth, crawling, standing, Baby Einstein, and yours truly.
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with his obsession of me, but then I remember... this won't last forever and he will grow up and not want to hug mom anymore. So for now, I am indulging in the moment, taking it all in, and loving it. Okay, so maybe not all the time, but I'm trying... and I remind myself of the honor and the greatness of being all that he wants sometimes.
Funny enough, for how much he loves me, I hardly have any photos of just him and me. Better start asking strangers to take photos for me, or learn how to take better reverse shots of us (it's hard because all I focus on is how I look - egotistical me, and Jordan is always not paying attention when I look good hahahahaha).
Us at the BYU vs UCI volleyball game where the Cougars beat the Anteaters. I know, Anteaters... really?
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