Today was pivotal. Life-changing. Empowering. Transformational. And absolutely wonderful.
I went to the Southern California Power of Moms retreat and was gone from Andy and Jordan for more than 8 hours...! That might not sound like a big deal, but for a mom who has never been separated from her son for more than 4 hours, for a mom who still worries about if her son will eat enough solids to (since he still won't take a bottle), for a mom who is just a bit obsessive, overbearing and controlling.... to say I was intimidated is an understatement. I was terrified.
As for the retreat, it was AWESOME!!! I came home, opened up the copious notes I had taken, and started updating Andy on everything I had learned. I'll have to save a summary for another post (because it might be long, I'm tired from a late night date with laundry, and Andy just came home from watching the BYU game). More importantly, when I got home... I sadly realized I'm not that needed.
Apparently, Jordan did great without me! He ate, he slept, he went to the park, went to the store, went to Costco, to visit some friends, he even took some pumped milk from a straw (but caramel helped coax him to sip it faster). I'll be honest... I was a bit devastated. My heart hurt a bit. I guess maybe I secretly did hope he'd miss me a little, even though I also wanted him to be on his best behavior for Andy. I know I can't have both. As it turns out, my husband might need me more than my son. That's something.. right?!
"I'm so hungry, what's for dinner?" my husband asked when I stepped into the home - before even telling him how much fun I had!...
"Did you eat lunch?" I asked... "Well..." he stammered... "there's just no food at home," and I rebutted his statement with a ferocious stare and responded with, "WHAT?!" and he quickly finished his thought, "... that's easy to make."