Monday, August 10, 2009

Who Doesn't Love a Good DTR?!

For those of you who don't know what a "DTR" is, let me introduce you to the new term. A "DTR" is when you "define the relationship." Normally, this is a nerve wrecking, exciting and stomach turning pivotal moment in which two people must come together and have a discussion about what exactly their relationship is.

Men normally hate DTRs because they fear commitment, refuse to grow up and fear the words, "We need to talk." Women love DTRs because they love talking about how they feel, want a title and love saying, "We need to talk." But both parties can walk away from a DTR feeling melancholy if it didn't work the way they hoped or excitement if it did. Either way... DTRs are great because most times following a DTR, the relationship is solidified or decimated, nevertheless it is defined and both parties can move on - together or apart.

I'm a fan of DTRs because of their nature as a turning point. They also
1) often scare the other party you're asking to have a DTR with
2) frequently force both parties to man up and pick a road when you've come to a fork
3) typically is much needed as we all need some finite clarification of whatever it is we're feeling, needing or wanting if it involves another person besides ourselves.

I recently came to the epiphany that I am such a fan of DTRs that I can honestly, sincerely, and definitely say I have a daily DTR. And, you probably do as well.

During my DTR, I give thanks for everything I've been blessed with, ask for assurance and assistance with those things I need help with, seek comfort on behalf of others, and declare my love and awe for everything catered to me because of how well he knows me. Sometimes it's implicit, other times it's explicit, but everytime, I make a promise and further strengthen the commitments I have made to him. This DTR not only defines and redefines the relationship, but reinforces and reinvigorates me, and prepares me for the day or comforts me at night.

This DTR is the conversation I have with Heavenly Father everyday. He is the first one I speak to (unless Momma Chou walks by and I say Morning Ma!) and the last one I speak to at night (unless Momma Chou walks by and I say Good Night Ma!) and He hears me too. I know our DTRs are rather one sided and like a typical girl, I am speaking more but He hears and he responds - maybe not right away through the touch of the Holy Spirit but if not immediate, eventually, because I know He hears me when he gives me a response through a series of coincidental events that can't be coincidence and must be Him or angels here and now. And I do KNOW it is Him, that much I can tell you.

I know actions speak louder than words ... but sometimes, we have to remember that words are also needed. Case in point - a hug is great, but hearing that someone misses you is also wonderful. So showing Heavenly Father I love him by keeping His commandments is important but voicing it to Him is also crucial for me. Sometimes we don't believe something until we hear it. Sometimes telling yourself you're excited about going to work.. really does make you that much more excited. Sometimes words resonate more than actions.

So don't be afraid of DTRs. They don't bite. They just define the relationship and make it easier for both parties to communicate.

1 comment:

Ian and Gena Hopper said...

D, I was challenged by this and your committment to set time apart for God everyday.