Saturday, January 29, 2011

Things That Matter Most

When I was single, my weekdays were filled with important decision making. I could either go out with friends for dinner on the town or go work out and grab dinner on my own. I would entertain the former every now and then (definitely for birthdays or other special celebratory occasions) but I was drawn to the latter for what it offered me. Endorphins from working out and a healthier meal which overall, made me feel better.

While in San Jose, though only 45 minutes from the BFF, we always hung out on weekends which normally included a trip to Trader Joe's for some flaxseed veggie chips and hummus, a sleepover watching crime drama shows, talking about life in general, falling asleep around 11, and then waking up to a Dailey Method class, a trip to the nearby (20 minutes away) Equinox for some cardio, a shower in the uber classy and clean gym facilities followed by lunch at Santana Row and some shopping! It was wonderful. Very simple, routine and fulfilling. We began to feel more adult like as our conversations turned away from that which was happening in Us Weekly and we abandoned our former ways of standing in a grocery store's magazine aisle for hours reading Entertainment trash and instead browsed the stores beyond our means (though we didn't buy, the store personnel actually greeted us as if we were real potential buyers!). We talked about how we barely had time to follow the Media these days, and bonded on our search for the perfect job and what that would be, and how we would depart from our Corporate America jobs which we had been doing since graduating from college. At night, Grace would return to the City to see her boyfriend and I would retreat to my humble Corporate apartment to eat dinner alone and watch some TV. On occasion, I would go out with the co-workers but I never had as much fun as I did with Grace, and fatigued from the day's events, I soon began politely declining invitations to go out with other friends.

Such is life now that I'm married. We have things that we prioritize each week such as eating dinner together every night possible (outside of Andy's call days or late work nights for me), Monday family home evening, Church meetings every Tuesday, a Friday date night that includes dinner out and a trip to the Westside, Church on Sundays, near daily working out, daily scripture study and a daily early retreat to bed (except for the weekend, we sometimes stay up until 12 AM on those days!) which means there isn't really time for anything else. We make exceptions (for BYU basketball games, work related recruiting events, visits, family dinners out, etc.) but usually, only if they happen to fall on the two days we don't have regularly set plans or if we can squeeze 'em into our existing planned days.

That being said, our schedule makes it difficult to plan for anything else and lately I've been mulling on it. True, our schedule includes things that matters most and I have seen nothing but good come from it as I am consistently fulfilled by the simple and important things, even if it is routine and lends little to no room for alternative options BUT, life will change when Baby J joins us... and then what?! I mean, if Andy isn't around, who will watch the baby while I shower or wash the dishes or work out? My daily reminders from my subscriptions to the What to Expect, Daily Kick, and The Bump newsletters do not speak to such things! I've been asking other moms of their experiences, and it all varies. Everybody does it a bit differently, so as it turns out, we must be flexible in adapting, not be so set in our ways that we stubbornly fail to see the joy and simplicity of changing up a routine for the better. I suppose as long as the things that matter most are still the foundation of our lives, it won't be so bad. Still, my paranoid self likes to "plan" and sometimes you just can't plan for everything. You can only hope that the things that matter most are so embedded in your lives that they are the support you need to shield you from whatever comes your way. So until then, I guess I can only stick to that and have faith that the Lord will take care of the rest.

1 comment:

Kimberly Bluestocking said...

My hobbies and use of spare time have changed drastically since I've had kids. I've enjoyed cooking for years, but it has now become my main hobby, partly because I need to do it anyway and I can do it while Phillip plays with the kids. Naptime is gold, and that's when I study scriptures because otherwise it won't happen. After their bedtime I write in my journal, because I'm compulsive about that. Anything else fits in the cracks if it can.

As you say, you make time for what matters most to you, and kids make you really zero in on that.