When I used to be an auditor with no life during busy season, I remember how odd it was to be home from work around 6 PM and not now what to do with myself until dinnertime. Moreover, not know what exactly I'd be eating for dinner without the consult of my team and a newbie to go get it for me free of charge. Life was so odd to me. Time, this concept unknown to me, was at my fingertips, and yet I knew not what to do with it. I remember turning on the foreign object known as a television only to discover the world of cable engulfing me. And then I'd pause, text a co-worker about how odd it was to have such available time to do whatever I so pleased, and see she felt the same exact way. What a transition to go from absolutely no time and a life dedicated to the well being of the audit opinion to a life of choice.
We've gone two days without May or Andy, just me, Jordan, and trips to drop him off for playdates and trips to the NICU. I'm still running on adrenaline so I'm not tired despite waking up at 11 PM, 2 AM and 5 AM to pump and then starting my day off after 5 AM with a shower and getting everything ready to go. The fact that Jordan can climb a little stool to hop into his own carseat has been a great finding on our part and a blessing as I can get out of the house with him and avoid carrying him. Only once has he tried to escape the carseat when coming off of it and made a dash for the front seat where he likes to sit at the steering wheel. Only once has he thrown a tantrum about now wanting to get into the carseat, so I'd say we're doing great! And then we had a ripple in our schedule this morning when Jordan, who has been waking up at 6 AM and 6:30 AM, decided not to wake up in time for us to make his morning playdate while I go to the NICU at 8 AM. He is OUT. I changed his diaper, nudged his shoulder, took off his blanket, said "Jordan! Jordan! Jordan??!?!?!?" and nothing. Not even a blink. He is sound asleep, suppose the over abundance of playdates and outings has finally tired him out. So I just called the NICU nurse and told her I wouldn't make the 8 AM care session, am hoping to make the 11 AM, but now my body can't retire to the bed. I've just stopped to get a breath of fresh air and just like my audit days, I'm unsure what to do with my time. Sleep? Pump? Watch some TV? Text some friends? Read a book? Blog? Yes, I went with the last option.
But now, my eyes are tiring and I think I'll take a nap until Jordan wakes up.
Also, Adam is doing great as can be for a 36 week 5 day gestational aged premie. He has graduated from the incubator boxes and is now in a crib, able to maintain his own body heat. He still has a feeding tube but he only gets tube fed about 2-3 times over 8 feedings in a night. He has a great latch both on boob and the bottle, but he tires out quick and just has to get over the hurdle of eating. The nurses have begun discharge activities, including his shots and hearing test (passed!), and told us about the carseat test (he has to sit in a carseat for an hour while being monitored). He's in clothes now (hospital borrowed ones) and is a lot more alert, darting his eyes everywhere to see what's going on when he's awake. He is 5 pounds and 1.8 oz and hopefully will get bigger today. I can't wait to take him home though I'm a little intimidated by the new routine we will have to set and how Jordan will react when he sees Mom holding the baby but not him.
A gift from my old co-worker at the Firm that Jordan is obsessed with because it has a plane, a boat, and a train on it! He has been eating well using this plate thus far...
black and white so you don't see the misfit of colors that is my son's blanket and outfit...
but here it is - just so you can see the crib he's in!