It's common knowledge that little baby boys often will instinctively pee if their pee pee has been exposed to the open air for too long. It is one of those things all mothers of little baby boys can relate to.
Our son's first experience was immediately upon exiting the womb and into the cold air of the hospital room. Tucked away on the cleaning table with the kind nurse, he greeted her with his pee. We laughed at the immediate reality of the pee pee.
Our first experience with pee pee in the air was just as memorable. Jordan had just gotten circumcised and the nurse instructed us to leave on the gauze which was wrapped around and some additional disposable wash clothes that she had slathered with A&D ointment and put as a barrier between his pee pee and the diaper for 24 hours. We could change the wash clothes with new ones when we changed him but we should attempt to keep the gauze as clean as possible.
After our first night with Jordan, his bilirubin levels were high and therefore, Jordan was deemed a jaundice baby. For the other night and time we were at the hospital, he was kept at the nursery under the UV lights and only brought to us for feedings. And because of that, we did not change him more than the couple of times from our first night with him.
Fast forward to a couple of hours before discharge. Jordan was with us because his jaundice bilirubin levels had decreased and since we heard and smelled him pooping, we thought we'd change him before his ride home.
Upon opening his diaper, the gauze that was supposed to stay on for 24 hours slipped off, and his diaper was oozing with mustardy poop. The smell did not faze us, but the immediate fear of what to do about the gauze that was off his healing wound immediately sent us into a frenzy as Jordan cried and cried and eventually was wailing as loud as he did when he first came out of my stomach. What do we do?! We were not prepared for this! The gauze was supposed to stay on!
Before we could think of a solution, Andy screamed, "he's peeing!" and out came a small trickle of pee up that was small but strong. So strong, that it hit Jordan in the face, and his eyes shut as his wailing continued but somehow more voluminous than prior. We quickly called the nurse, pleading her to come assist us asap and we attempted to assist her before she politely asked if she could just take care of it herself. We tried to tell Jordan it would be okay and watched attentively as the nurse put a new gauze on his pee pee and finished cleaning him up. On the bright side, we were now prepared in the situation that his gauze came off again before 9 AM the next day. The nurse gave us an extra gauze for this purpose. Too bad we didn't think of asking for more than one. Amateurs.
That first night home, we did our best to keep his gauze clean from poop. I can't lie - there was definite trepidation with each opening of the diaper during every single diaper change that night. Behind the walls of his cushioned diaper was the possibility of a gauze slipping off and us faced with putting on a new one as he cried in pain. We both noted he was more fussy than normal, but then concluded, what did we know since he hadn't been with us since the first night?
At 6 AM the next morning, Andy was off to work and I was faced with a diaper change and a feeding on my own for the first time. Only 3 more hours until the gauze could come off and I could stop worrying. As Andy said good-bye and shut the door behind him, I was standing at the diaper changing table about to open his diaper. At the precise moment when Andy shut the door, the gauze came off and I was faced with a repeat of the day before, only this time - no nurse and no Andy. I found the gauze and unwrapped it as quickly as I could and immediately noticed it was to be unfolded before I could wrap it around him. As I tried to do this and maneuver his legs out of the way, he cried and all of a sudden, he was pooping. Pooping! I had already cleaned him up and put a new diaper underneath him and instead of waiting for him to finish, I quickly moved the now stained diaper out of the way, to find he was still pooping! The diaper changing table is only so big, so now covered with baby, basket of diapers, ointment, cotton towelettes and wipes, soiled diapers and a screaming baby, space was running out quickly! Then, to make matters worse, the time with his pee pee out in the open had now been longer than normal and out came his trickle of pee all over his stomach (at least not his eyes) and I also noticed that he had not only continued to poop while I was trying to change his gauze and diaper, but his poop now covered his clothes as well.
Through the poop that kept coming, the eventual four soiled diapers piled around his diaper changing pad and now dirty outfit he was wearing and towel that we had laid over the diaper changing table, all I could do was remind myself that there is no commandment that I cannot do if given to me by the Lord, and as I repeated this scripture from 1Nephi3:7 to myself over and over and pleaded for help.
I did somehow make it through. The gauze got wrapped around. The diaper got changed. The baby got changed. And my mind whirled about whether we should try those dixie cups or pee tents that I had heard so much about.
I retreated to bed after feeding him and the rest of the morning was surprisingly uneventful compared to the morning and around 11, I received a text from Andy that he was coming home after lunch (his attendee told him to take off since he had just had a baby, how nice!). We later googled (you know you do it too!) what was the proper solution for baby boys peeing while getting diaper changed and the obvious and overwhelming response was - get quicker at it.
And so we have been working on our speed. We still get peed on but we don't fear it as much as we did and without the circumcision gauze to taunt us, it's just a bit of pee that we can wipe off easily. We will continue to get quicker and hopefully before his trickle turns into a geyser.