Thursday, May 19, 2011

Resemblance of Normalcy

My best friend is trying to start her own business and works from coffee shops in order to avoid working from her tiny shared studio with her fiancee, who also works from home most days. When she quit her job in February this year, a typical Corporate one that she had since graduating from Berkeley in 2004, it was a huge risk, but something she was determined to do. I watched in amazement and gave her my full support as she entered into the next stage of her life as an entrepreneur. From time to time, she would call me during the day and we would chat about her days which were all entirely up to her. Would she do some research, work on the patent, visit manufacturers, work on her branding, marketing, etc.? The sky was the limit but overall, it was quite redundant, and mundane. Some days, she was productive and came away feeling accomplished while other days she slugged along, wondering what she had done. She longed for the companionship of co-workers she had given up when quitting her job. She longed for the established routines, deadlines and normalcy in her old job. She longed for the expected paycheck and understood her role as a manager.

In general, our lives have paralleled each other. We grew up in a small community and upon graduating high school, went off to our separate schools far away from our hometown (maybe not by distance for me but by culture and expectation - definitely!). While she was at Berkeley, experiencing the life of multiple piercings and hippie granola-ville, I was tucked away in the small village of Claremont, experiencing the life of hoity toity conservative independence. We both had our first experiences with "white people" in college (we grew up in a predominately Asian area) and realized hey, they're not so different. We both had our first experiences "partying" in college. We both had our "first serious boyfriend" in college. We both slumped in grades our freshman year and then picked it up our junior year upon realizing we needed a job to enter the "real world" post graduation. We both got the "Corporate America" jobs we desired. We both learned what it meant to be a single hard working "professional woman". We both learned the perks of traveling with "the Firm". We both wondered if our "careers" were right for us.

And upon this next chapter in her life, it seemed we were finally on different tracks.

But were we really?

Though she can't relate to my boob feeding routine, the poopy diapers or information overload of baby milestones, we can now relate to one another even more than before. As I long for a resemblance of normalcy in my daily routine, I am seemingly in the same place she was when she first transitioned out of her old job. Though my break is just maternity leave, I am overjoyed when I get to go run a small errand out of the house, when friends come to visit and so intoxicated with love and happiness when friends and even strangers from Church come bearing food, diapers, and baby clothes. And suddenly, the smallest resemblance of normalcy makes me happy.

Some days, I am frustrated wondering when he will be done - even fascinating in my mind that if I were to invent a machine that could measure how much boob fed babies eat, I would be a millionaire! Other days, I can't believe he's finished so fast and I want to treasure his little eyes opening and looking at me while he grubs. Most days, I am elated that there is one thing that only I can provide for him right now (though he doesn't realize this and will try to suck anyone's chest when held and hungry). I just have to remind myself that the some days are just "some" and the "most days" are what I look forward to and should surround myself with.

Unbelievably so, my BFF wanted her own chance at starting her own business and yet, at times, may find herself longing for her old job instead of realizing this is her living her dream. Unbelievably so, I sometimes feel sorry for myself, chained to my son's feeding schedule instead of being grateful for this moment when he needs so much of me. We are both lucky to have this opportunity - her to take a stab at her own idea brought to life and me to be a mom! Because no matter how different it may be from what we expected, we wanted this and we chose this.

We just can't forget that. Her or me. No matter how much a resemblance of normalcy we may desire, we have to remember that this is our normal now and normal is what we make of it. And hey, having the eternal perspective helps too because no matter how hard it gets, I know I can do it. And I know she can do it too.

1 comment:

Chris and Paige Evans said...

Love your posts Daisy - I really do.

I used to hate breastfeeding. There. I said it. It was just so painful I nearly gave up several times! But now, it's actually my favorite time of the day. Cuz that's when Fox is most peaceful and calm and quiet and I just get to hold and love on him. But that's just me, I totally realize that everyone is different!

I want to SEE YOU AND HIM!!!!