Monday, February 27, 2012

Worrying: A Part of Motherhood

As as mom, you worry about everything.  How many times have I gotten up in the middle of the night to see if he was breathing?  Countless.  How many times have I seen a weird grimace and wondered if he was choking?  Infinity.  Jordan poops 3-5 times a day.  But on the off day that he poops just once, which is still quite normal, I still wonder...is he pooping enough?

These days, our worries are occupied by the fact that he's only 15% for weight.  He's weened off of the boob and is almost entirely on formula (mind you, it took fancy expensive organic Earth's Best already prepared formula to get him there which by the way is $12 cheaper at Babies 'R' Us than Whole Foods ... what a mark-up!) and eats quite well, but is just on the slimmer side.  He's also quite active, but so are many other heftier babies.  This morning, his doctor said he hadn't fallen off the curve (whew right?), and didn't give me any other suggestions, giving me the impression that he was on the slim side, but not to worry anymore.  Things were going to be just fine.  And then she nonchalantly remarked, "Considering you and your husband, he'll probably be skinny his whole life," which is a compliment... I think?

My mom called as I was leaving the doctor's, asking how Jordan was doing.  Was his nose still runny?  Was I bundling him up so he wouldn't get a cold?  Was he still teething?  Was he still walking around bopping his head up and down, calling out, "da da da daaaa?"  Was he eating all the mini fish, carrots and rice she made for him?  Was he taking the bottle yet?  After answering all her questions, I told her about his weight.  How it hadn't gone up despite how much more he was eating, how much heavier he felt when you held him, and how much plumper his face and legs were looking lately.  My mom then told me.. it never ends.  When your kid is too small, you worry they're too small.  When they're too big, you worry they're too big.  Ahh, so Goldilocks was really a fable about motherhood, except try as I might, I don't remember how the story turned out.  So I googled it... and she just ran out of the bears' home.  Go figure.

Instead of worrying, I'm going to try, and enjoy my son's cuteness at this time.  He will only be small and easily amused for so much longer.

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