Mommy the Pushover

Hi, my name's Mommy, the pushover, so nice to meet you.

Every Wednesday, well...almost every Wednesday, Andy goes to play basketball during the boy's bedtime.  Every Wednesday, like a fool, I have grand expectations of all the things I'll do in my free time whether it's on the computer, in the house, or whilst watching television.  Instead, every Wednesday, I battle with my two children for almost two hours as I wait for them to fall asleep.

Normally, we read some books, brush Jordan's teeth, read scriptures, pray, and then play whatever game Jordan desires.  If I'm lucky, it's just a "come sleep with me while I fall asleep" game. And Bubba will fall asleep while nursing and then transition easily to his crib.  I can't remember the last time that happened even if it was just last week.  Because the truth is, every awful encounter (which seems the norm lately) has me wondering why me?! why me?! ugh!  ugh!  Ahhh!!!  JUST GO TO SLEEEP SONSSSSSSSSSS!!!

Today, Bubba decided he didn't want to be on his own.  Anytime I put him into the crib, he shrieked in pain and started to cry.  Jordan decided he would help me soothe and calm Bubba.  Everytime I told Bubby not to do this or that or to go to sleep, an echo was heard from Jordan.  He mimicked my every move, even when I sat up against his wall on his bed to tell HIM (Jordan) to go to sleep, he thought I was telling BUBBA to go to sleep and he copied me again.  Imitation is the highest form of flattery right?  I remembered looking at the walls, wondering when my night time routine became a battle of GO TO SLEEP.  I don't even remember what it's like to be without kids and just go to sleep cuz I feel like it without worrying about them going to sleep.  I mean, at what point does a child realize the fight to sleep is actually a luxury that isn't worth rebelling against?

Cries from Bubba.  Silliness from Jordan.  He got up and started marching around.  Asking me questions about why Bubba wouldn't go to sleep.  The irony of it all.  "Sun down Bubba, just go to sleep Bubby!" he would tell him.  Meanwhile, Bubba's screams would subside for a few seconds when he thought Jordan or I was playing with him through the gaps of his crib when in reality I (followed immediately by Jordan) was sternly advising him to go to sleep.  A few coos were heard from Bubba followed by very obvious attempts to cry and lure himself back into my embrace.  I wouldn't fall for that!  Then Jordan asked me to turn off his light.  The very light that he needs on or he won't fall asleep because it's too dark.  I wasn't born yesterday Jordan!  I ain't falling for that!  Then he marched around, and all I could think of was how hard I was trying not to laugh right outloud.  Where does he get this from?  Oh yeah, me maybe... but still.  Then, he told me he was sad.  When asked why, he told me because I wouldn't go sleep with him despite me laying there and him just laughing or hugging me on and off, anything to avoid that dreadful thing called sleep. And then I'd ask him to close his eyes and he'd close em, then flutter them and then sit up and stare at Bubba with his mouth wide open as if to say, "oh no!  why isn't he asleep?!"  My silly billy.  

Yawns.  Eyes starting to close.  And then, with a jolt, "I wanna sleep with you Mommy."  Okay, so let's go lie down together.  "I wanna sleep with you in Mommy and Daddy's room," ... see it never ends.  I can't win.  Even after we told Bubba he wasn't allowed to sleep in Mommy and Daddy's room.  So I did what anyone would do.  I came to my computer to blog about it and Jordan circled me for a few minutes... asked me to go sleep with him.. and then, exhausted (at last), he retreated to bed.  Without me so much as asking or suggesting or coaxing.. just all on his own.

So maybe we need to move their bedtimes back a bit?  But no, then where would our routine (the one where we START putting them to bed at the same time, go?)

And here I am...
The clothes still aren't washed.  The dishes still aren't put away.  The work I have left still isn't done.  No TV has been watched.  But I tell you, the minute they are asleep and I see their sweet sleeping faces, it's as if all the awfulness from the night has been erased.  Time is still as I stare at the two best things I've ever done in this life.  Tabula Rasa.  And we'll start it all over again next Wednesday.  Same time.  Same place.

Sincerely,
Mommy the Pushover

cuz this would never happen with Andy.

Also, I just was about to go check on Jordan when I heard him say, "B...Y...U...Cougars!" and then he chanted it three more times.  .......