I haven't been able to sleep well lately, in fact, my entire night's worth of sleep is just one dream after another. From what I understand of dreaming, it only happens in the rapid eye movement (REM) stage which should usually begin after 4 hours of deep sleep but somehow it feels like I'm getting much less sleep. I feel like I'm watching a movie all night long, weird ones, that don't make any sense, and then I wake up and ask Andy, am I still dreaming? I am hopeful, every night, that my pattern of dreaming will cease to be, but thus far, I have been unsuccessful.
When I went to the doctor's a few weeks ago for my gestational diabetes test (which I passed - thank goodness - despite the significant amount of girl scout cookies and chocolate I have been eating everyday because it's free at work at the executive assistant's desk in front of my office!), she asked me how everything was. I told her "Just great!" then paused, and followed up with, "Well actually, is there any reason why I would be dreaming a lot? I mean... a LOT LOT!" (guess I could have chosen smarter vernacular like an adjective to describe lot - maybe extremely so, an extraordinary lot, but LOT LOT felt more emphatic). She told me this was normal with being pregnant - the baby may be moving a lot while I sleep, the hormones (it's somehow ALWAYS the stinking hormones!) and that just means I'm not getting a lot of good sleep. "Oh," I replied. Dejected, I just smiled and responded with, "Guess it's still more sleep than when the baby comes, right?" to which she just chuckled and nodded and in my mind, all I could think was, Doh! ... and how delicious an iced pink doughnut with rainbow sprinkles would be right then and there.
It feels funny to be noticeably pregnant now. Before, I was just a little larger - probably carrying a bit more weight in my stomach - whereas these days, my protruding naval and basketball of a baby boy is the reason for random strangers congratulating me, asking me if it's a boy or girl, and telling me it's the BEST thing that could EVERRRR happen to me, even if it's really hard. Everyone who's ever been a parent tells me with so much joy and twinkle in their eye about how that love you feel is so great, you won't know what hit you. I can't wait for that feeling - I already feel so much love for the lil one inside my stomach - although I cannot lie, for the first 3-4 months, I often asked Andy - do you love our son yet, because I don't! I don't love this thing in my stomach causing me nausea, fatigue, and making me hate ice cream (which I usually ADORE). I remember how everyone describes the love Heavenly Father has for us as being even GREATER than the love a parent has for their child. I have no idea what that feels like but I am so eager to find out.
It's also funny to go to the gym as a pregnant and showing lady. I suppose if I think hard about it, in all my years as a gym goer, I have only seen one pregnant lady and every time I saw her, I would look at her workout and think, wow. Apparently, I have become that lady. I didn't think it was a big deal, I still don't - but when I show up at the gym, I'm in a sweatshirt and upon removing my sweatshirt, eyes undoubtedly turn to my son. He's pretty popular these days - although they're probably thinking his mom is nutso! I don't mind it so much - the doctor said I could continue working out if I had done so before and I don't do anything insane - I just elliptical for about 30 minutes each visit!
The funniest - and coincidentally saddest part about being pregnant these days - is the colder California weather that is making it harder for me to sport my pregnant dresses to work. I do have two pairs of pregnant tights but they're not very comfortable as they seem to fall easily and require a lot of adjusting throughout the day. But like my co-worker who hadn't seen me in months said yesterday upon seeing me, it's real! It's all happening - I'm not the lil kid walking around with a circular pillow pretending to be pregnant anymore - I actually am! And no matter that funny pregnant thing happens to me - good or bad.... I should try to be of better cheer.
I do try to be of good cheer, maintain a positive attitude and look to the silver lining of things when I catch myself. At least the awful ligament pulling growing pains that kept me up hours upon each night (and Andy for maybe five or ten every time I woke him up telling him something weird was going on and that maybe we needed to go to the hospital!) are now gone. At least the few muscle cramps I got are gone (I think I've got a trick, instead of stretching your legs with a pointed foot, if you flex it - the calve is stretched and less likely to cramp), and at least my swelling is not yet in the face (or so I think...). Too bad the migraines have returned every morning, but at least they seem to improve by noon everyday.
Cheerio! Here's to being pregnant! Look at how big I am getting!!