Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I Admit.. I Am Not a Pleasant Pregnant Woman Right Now

I didn't think it was necessary to really start packing a hospital bag - it was on my list of 35 things to do while on maternity leave, but in terms of priority - it was pretty low on the totem pole. And then, two of my subscribed pregnancy newsletters shocked me with a Have You Packed Your Hospital Bag alerts this morning. Eek! No.... I have indeed not!

Scrambling, I quickly pulled out a piece of paper and starting making a list. Andy came home from his 5 AM - 8 AM shift around 9:30 AM and instead of greeting him with a hug, a kiss or even a smile, I tersely demanded, "What hospital snacks do you want?" He pondered it for a while... and in my inpatient pregnant mode of attack, I demanded to know and repeated myself with, "What hospital snacks do you want?!" He sensed my urgency (or my hormones acting up) and responded happily with, "Tostitos!" So I continued, "and what kind of drink?" to which he casually replied, "Any drink will do," ........ "Can you please just pick a drink?" I begged. Maybe he could sense my desperation. "Gatorade," he said. He definitely couldn't. "What color Gatorade?!" I asked.... "Umm..... Gatarade or Spirte," hmmmm maybe he wasn't getting it. "Red Gatorade!" he declared, fine - good, now it is written down except I scribbled Red Gatorade/Spirte. "And sweet snacks?" I persisted, "Ummm... oreos!" Without even realizing it, I retorted with "Ewww" and he said, "Well, put something you would like too like Nila Wafers." That's better, except it won't matter because I can't eat them. Apparently, in labor, I'm only allowed ice chips, apple juice, orange juice, cranberry juice, or water. Delicious! But I suppose I can eat something after - though I'll most likely be making food requests from outside of the hospital especially since Saladang is nearby as is 21 Choices. *trickle tapping my fingers together mischievously like Mr. Burns in the Simpsons.

So far, I've packed my toiletries, the Flip, the digital camera, and a pack of cards. I will still have to gather some change of clothes for me, the baby and Andy, get some missing toiletry items like lotion and chapstick that I prefer (if there's time), a fan?, some bed pillows, a list of those I have been instructed to call while on the way to the hospital, get started on my playlist of music and Conference talks, and create a DVD list for Andy. I guess that means one of us is bringing our computer (there's free internet in the rooms!). I am also going to follow my sister in law's advice and get a cheap terry cloth dress from Target that I can wear while in the hospital, because the blood will most likely destroy everything and probably some cheap comfy slippers that I won'tcare for afterwards. Do I need to bring a towel, shampoo, a loofa and some body scrub? Am I even allowed to shower in the hospital or do I even want to? I have not a clue.

Meanwhile, I can't figure out my insurance options, which means I can't pick a pediatrician which means my birth plan is still incomplete and I do not even want to deal with my CPA renewal stuff until later but I've also been advised I am required by policy to sign up for the AICPA, yet another thing to add to my list, but if the baby comes, I won't have time to do this later!! I still have to get the car maintenance, the cars washed (not in this gloomy overcast weather though) I'm still waiting until next week for a haircut and pedicure (if our budget allows), and I still have to change my name on a ton of accounts. Instead, I really just want to do the fun stuff like making the wall decor for the baby's room or planning my Easter Sunday dinner menu.

So I'm all in all, not a very pleasant pregnant woman right now. Which makes me think... if this part is already difficult, how much harder will the baby in my life be? Will I be able to do it? Won't it just absolutely suck for a while? Will I break down and just cry for no reason? What if I get post partum depression? What if?

I guess the what if's don't matter because this is. Like it or not, he's coming soon and like it or not, I do not know how much time I have until he comes - so until then, I will just keep on trucking, and in the meantime, remember to be of good cheer. Other people have had it worse. Jesus had it a lot worse and this Easter weekend reminds me that even though he was scorned, laughed at, mocked, and betrayed, he is our Savior and he made the ultimate sacrifice for us. Andy and I have been studying the Old Testament leading up to his Resurrection and it makes me so angry and sad that he had to go through that. I have to remember when things get tough for me and when I'm the unpleasant pregnant woman, that Jesus knows my pain, he suffered so he could know and he will help lift those burdens above me if I persevere, am faithful and do those simple and little things that help me be of good cheer.


Kara @ Just1Step said...

My responses:

Which makes me think... if this part is already difficult, how much harder will the baby in my life be?
- It will be hard, but you will adjust and it will all be fine.

Will I be able to do it?
-Yes. :)

Won't it just absolutely suck for a while?
-Some women love it. I thought it absolutely sucked for a while. :)

Will I break down and just cry for no reason?

What if I get post partum depression? What if?
-Then you can (and NEED to) get help. I got pretty severe PPD and would say I was borderline suicidal. As soon as my ob found out, she immediately put me on antidepressants. It was one of the most painful times in my life, but I came out fine. The pills kicked in within two weeks and I slowly returned to myself. But if you do feel down to the point where you just want to sleep...if you feel like there's a hole in your heart...if you wonder why you ever wanted to have a your OB right away. Those were my tell-tale signs.

It will all be ok, girly. :) Yes, your life is about to drastically change. But it is one of the most wonderful gifts from God. You just need to get past the difficult times. Some mommas don't consider any of the times to be difficult, but I do. I didn't like the first few months a whole lot. But I love my son so dearly and love every moment with him now and would be a stay-at-home momma in a second if I thought it would work for us. So keep your head up, hold onto the delightful moments (and there will be a lot of them!) and if you feel regretful about having a child, make sure you get help. (And also, in that case, realize and remember that it's not you, it's hormones, so don't let guilt plague you.)

bruinjack said...

I would recommend showering in the hospital. They will probably let you if you don't have an epidural, but if you have the epi, they will not let you drink anything- only ice chips for you and if you are lucky they will have some kind of flavoring to put on it. Some hospitals provide shampoo and some don't. But you will probably want to shower. If you have any hand held video games (like a DS) that really helped to distract me and my husband during contractions.

SupaFlowaPowa said...

Thank you sooo much. I think it helps when experienced moms share that it ain't gonna be easy peasy. I had a coworker who told me - she had not a clue how miserable it would be cuz everyone made it sound so awesome, even the first 6 weeks. I want to shower at the Hospital if I'm gross - but hopefully I won't have to be there too long! Thanks for the advice!!

Kara @ Just1Step said...

Yeah, this is totally not a Christian attitude, but when new mothers talk about how much they loooooooooooooooove being a new mom and being home with a newborn, I pretty much want to slap them. Haha. Because I did not like it one bit.

Like I said, it may not be easy, but it is TOTALLY worth it and I would go through all the pain again in a second.

Sijbrich said...

Shower? Yes you will want to shower. Especially at some point after giving birth. I don't know what your hospital's protocol is, but we stayed the night at the hospital after the baby was born, so there was definitely opportunity and a need to shower.

I thought the first few months were hard, too. I think it got easier when minor health issues were resolved, we got into a routine, and the baby started sleeping through the night, so I could overcome the whole sleep-deprivation thing.

A little bit of advice that I thought about when you mentioned nursing in a previous post is to ask friends and family what their nursing experiences were. We had a horrible time with it and only later did I learn that it's not uncommon to have nursing issues, so ask around to help prep yourself.

Jessica said...

Daisy, you crack me up! RELAX. enjoy the moment. maybe motherhood won't be as spectacular as people make it. I'm already not looking forward to the sleepless nights, all the spit-up from the baby, and feeling like a single mom. (one of the perks of being a medical student's wife).

Anyways, I can't wait for little Jordan to come! He's coming so SOON. Motherhood is going to be great. I can't when our kids will play together. :)