I always ask Andy what it was like growing up in the Church. I wonder if he was distracted during Sacrament meeting. I wonder if he was disruptive during Sunday School in primary. I wonder how he felt during his baptism or if he even remembers it. I wonder if he volunteered for the prayers at home. I wonder what he felt like when he got to pass the Sacrament for the first time. And since our semi-annual Church Conference that is 2 hours in the AM and PM of both Saturday and Sunday were of interest to him as an adult, I wonder if growing up, he sat obediently and watched all two hours, if he was off playing with some toys, causing trouble, or if he slept through it all.
I guess that's part of the wondering I have often because I didn't grow up in the Church. I always wonder how it would have been to grow up in the Church. Would I have been able to sit quietly for an entire hour and ten minutes of Sacrament meeting? Would I have been able to say a prayer for the family? Would I have been able to understand who Jesus Christ is? Would I have appreciated going to Church in my teenage years? Would I have enjoyed the young women's program?
In many ways, it makes me feel very unprepared. I don't know any of the children's primary songs. I barely just learned the names of each primary group (they sort it by age) and how will I relate to my kids when they are going through the church programs as they grow up?...
In other ways, it is very exciting to me. True, I know very little about how all the church auxiliaries work, but they get to have that knowledge so much sooner than I had it. They get to be born in the covenant - and whether or not they choose to accept the gospel in their lives is still up to them. All we can do as parents is guide them and encourage them - share with them our testimonies until they gain their own and help them to do good things as to invite the Spirit into their lives. I sometimes wish I had found the gospel as a kid, but I know there is a time and place for everything and maybe I wasn't ready for it - or maybe it had to happen this way. Whatever the case, my children will have what I did not have and that is comforting to me.
I do know one thing.. the understanding of who Jesus Christ is, the Atonement and the restored gospel will make a good person better and a bad person good... so really, no matter what my kids are like - what my soon to be here kid will be like - he will be better off having been taught these things and having the opportunity to choose for himself.