But it's not always so easy. ...
I'm no Positive Patty... in fact, I'm quite opposite... I'm in the Negative Nancy ring and work has helped put me here.
Motherhood is great. AWESOME. AMAZING! UNBELIEVABLE! I really do genuinely love many of the moments, even the ones where I am losing patience and asking Heavenly Father for some much needed help (feels constant to be honest) because I realize how much I have to learn, how much I have to grow still, and how kind my cute son is to put up with me. The joy that comes with the good... the tender smiles and giggles Jordan offers, the way he hugs or kisses me, the way he learns something new each day... that stuff is priceless and it's the stuff I live for. But you know what sucks?!
Being a failure at work. The part-time work that is.
Between trying to find time to send an e-mail, messing up on work stuff constantly (or so it feels), I just can't do it all. Something has to give. I need a break more than once a day and yet I try again.. how can I make this more efficient? What can I cut out of my life? What can I do to get a bit more time? How can I improve my routine? I'm like a broken record of a motherhood consultant, always trying to find a way to be better, to minimize the unnecessary, maximize the time savings...change the order, alter the approach, think outside the box, sleep a little less, sacrifice something else, get help from others, try it all again.... And the truth is... I've slowly lost an edge I used to have when it comes to work. I'd like to think it's inevitable, but I think it just means I suck. I'm slowly not as on top of things as I used to be when it comes to work stuff. Things I should know about, things I should have a working knowledge about, they get missed. Overlooked. Neglected. I make careless mistakes. I make stupid mistakes. I make newbie mistakes. And it feels horrendous to suck at work.
There was an article I read recently about women not ever being able to have it all - work and family. I don't disagree, but I never wanted it all. I wanted part of it...? I'm a part-time worker and a full-time mom. And I love both of my jobs. The working gig brings in cash. Brings in the company of other professionals. Brings in another perspective. Makes me think. Lets me use excel. But at the same time, I really do not like, in fact, I detest, loathe, and abhor, being bad at work. I like to be good at what I do, but who doesn't? I prefer to excel, not suck. And while motherhood is more subjective, this whole work thing is not.
So what to do working moms out there? Does your work product suffer or is it just me?
I have to remind myself that it's hard to be a working mom (even part-time), but that it's worth it. I honestly love my job. I know many other moms who work part-time who also love their job. There used to be a joke about this club that there is for people who hate their jobs.. it's called everybody and apparently they meet at the bar. Well, not me! Here's to being grateful for the things I have.. including a job I can potentially suck at quite a lot as of late.
A reminder of the perks of work. Our quarterly meetings in beautiful Manhattan Beach.
Business casual never looked so good.
Our company has two businesses and for the search one (pictured here), there are only two women. I'm special!