Despite having a lot of quality time to spend with family and myself during this recent business trip, I couldn't help but long for more. I couldn't help but want more "me" time. I couldn't help but overload my schedule until I was too tired for anything. And to top it off, the five teeth coming in for Jordan didn't make anything easier either. Neither did true LA traffic which is unrelenting and uncompromising.
In a down and depressed self pity moment this past week, I expressed concern to a friend about just wanting to go do something on my own. She made a really good point that has rung loudly in my heart, that "our lives revolve around kids now." In the midst of my wanting more thoughts, I really needed the kind reminder. I then talked to Andy who of course reinforced that idea and reminded me that I did have a lot of "me" time already (I had gotten a facial and had my business meeting for the entire day, not to mention all the free childcare from my parents while I was doing all this, gotten boba with my brother, and I later got to shop for clothes and groceries all by myself).
In our world today, when we do long for independence, there is a fine balance of having it, and then the extreme of having so much "me" time that we aren't truly involved in our children's lives (I'm thinking of the whole celebrity nanny situation here). I'm grateful to have a support system that encourages me to enjoy motherhood and value the time I do have, without constantly desiring more of it. Too often, I witness other moms who fall prey to society's expectations of having it all, an idea I personally think is not possible (unless you redefine what your "all" is).
Life is about flexibility but also about having a good attitude. Sometimes people think "having a good attitude" just means being too positive about any and all things negative, but I believe it's more of a paradigm shift - towards noticing the silver lining, being positively realistic and not pessimistically negative. It's about being grateful and hopeful and helpful and kind and loving.
There is good in life if we but look for it.
My perspective of "ugh, such a short trip and I didn't get to see Grace or Julia or get a haircut" is outnumbered by all I did do...
Watch Jordan talk on his ipod and dance at the airport
Ding Tai Fong dumplings galore waiting for me when I arrived home...
An excellent home cooked meal by my mom
Boba with my brother
A very meaningful quarterly meeting with co-workers I hadn't seen since May and three extra pounds as I indulged in the following: for breakfast, two apple chicken sausages, two pieces of toast slathered in butter and jam, a large granola with fresh strawberries and blueberries parfait, and for lunch, a summer strawberry with fried goat cheese salad, half of a salmon burger with sweet potato fries, and a devine dessert of caramelized bannas with chocolate mouse and a piece of maple glazed fried bacon at the ever beautiful Zinc Lounge in the Shade Hotel in Manhattan Beach (our meeting went from 10 AM to 4 PM).
A trip to the beach with my dad and Jordan
And things not pictured..
A trip to the slummy 24 Hour Fitness for a work out, a long leisurely and free facial, new pants from H&M and tops from Forever 21, lots of Chinese snacks and stuff to make soup from 99 Ranch Market and a surprise visit from my aunt, uncle and cousins with take-out from Golden Deli, my favorite Pho place
I'd say it was a pretty productive trip!