Friday, October 25, 2013

Making New Friends

I'll let you in on a little secret.  I'm awful at making new friends.  It used to be so simple.  Class, work, extracurricular activities, dorm living, team bonding.. it all was so effortlessly easy.  But now.. it feels like so much work.  I can barely make time to take a shower, and now I have to have meaningful conversation and connect with someone more than five times (the average I believe it takes to get past the "getting to know you" exchanges) before I can get anywhere?

In many ways, I suppose I'm rather introverted.  If situations force me get to know a person, I operate a lot better.  But apparently I'm not alone.  This article pinpoints why it becomes so increasingly hard as we grow up and are over 30.  And it's true.. my BFFs are from my days of youth.  We leave missed calls on each other phones unashamed of how many times we show up as a missed call or appear as a creepy stalker because we know each other well.  Those friends that you can just "pick up where you left off" are also the same.

Just a few weeks ago, I had an old college friend come visit us in Salt Lake.  We hadn't seen each other for more than ten years, and even though we were super close in college during my ballroom dance years... we fell apart as soon as I quit the team halfway through my junior year.  Then with her busy practices, my early morning accounting classes and eagerness to network with the Big 4, we just fell apart.  We went through our post college years separately and literally "caught up" on both of our post grad work and educational activities throughout our roaring 20's.

And now instead of trying to make new friends, I'm just hoping that she comes to Salt Lake for her next job post fellowship.  Okay.. not really, but a girl can hope.  After she left, Jordan kept asking where "Twaceee" went.  She came with a huge box of toys for us and another family (from our ballroom days at BYU) with five kids.  Jordan got a fun rocket launcher and Bubba got a baby car (which Jordan decided was his) and a seahorse (something about it being the memory something cuz she's a neuroscience PHD).

Now we just have to hope that she comes to Salt Lake to work at the U, gets married here, and has kids for Jordan and Bubba to play with too.  

Oh, and I forgot to mention earlier.. the best part was when we made a quick stop at the local grocery store nearby our home.  I was wearing my "CMC" sweatshirt cuz it's cold and it's comfy and it's how you'll find me 90% of the time (and what I'm wearing as I type this) and a lady asked, is that Claremont McKenna College?  "Yes," I answered.  "Did you go there?" she asked.  "Yes, we both did!"  Hahahaha.  Of all places... in Salt Lake City, two Asian girls (the minority at Claremont) representing.  I loved it.  I bet that white lady thought Claremont has so much diversity!  Probably the most Asians she'd seen in a long time.  HAHAHAHAAA.  Okay, to be fair Salt Lake is more diverse than Spokane.. but I still am increasingly more aware of my minority status here (despite all Andy's asian side of the family telling me how much better it's gotten since they first got here!). 


Traci said...

I hear ya. I'm terrible at making friends. (Which also makes me a terrible member missionary.) I'm making an effort to be more outgoing, though! I hope your friend moves close to you too!

Tracy Wang said...

I had the best time! It was probably one of the best personal trips (cause I take so many for work and dance) in years!!!

I think there's definitely something to be said about knowing someone over a long period of time. Even though there's this giant long stretch where we weren't in contact, you have a familiarity with where I started adulthood, of the person I was when I figuring it out.. to where I am today (which is kinda where I started. true story). I think that lends a certain gravity to a friendship that enables real reconnection.

That being said, I'm looking forward to my next trip back out! Thank goodness it won't be another 10 years

....And I totally left SLC with ginormous baby fever!

I think post-trip/flight back I was daydreaming about applying for jobs there, getting married, having babies, opening a pilates/dance studio and getting an RO1 (major research grant), all at the same time!

I kid, but I might be serious about this. Muahahahahaha. You still have that guest room right?