1. to cause (a person) to accept or be resigned to something not desired: He was reconciled to his fate.
2. to win over to friendliness; cause to become amicable: to reconcile hostile persons.
3. to compose or settle (a quarrel, dispute, etc.).
4. to bring into agreement or harmony; make compatible or consistent: to reconcile differing statements; to reconcile accounts.
I stared at the looming difference for what seemed like infinite, never ending hours. In reality, it was only an hour at most, but the weight of the unexplainable difference hindered me from moving forward, prevented me from enjoying the night, and haunted me like a bad dream you can't shake off but desperately try to. In accounting, we say, if it's immaterial, no further review deemed necessary. How I wished it was immaterial. How I wished I could pass for further review. How I longed and hoped and wished. It'd be nice to have a staff member do all the dirty work and me just sit back and review, as I munched on a fortune cookie (we used to jack a ton from the free pile at the nearby Pei Wei during busy season). But there was no staff member. Only me. Just myself. All on my own to figure it out. And all I remember was sitting there, dumbfounded by my own stupidity and inadequacy, trying to figure out what other adjustments I needed to include, and realizing.. this just does NOT make sense... what on earth am I missing?!
In the background, Andy and his mom (who's visiting us for the week, Jordan is so stoked and we are all having a great time with Andy's schedule hehe) watched an action movie. I felt so distressed. Distraught. Disillusioned. Disheartened. Disabled. Dissed. Simply ill to my stomach.
For the last week, I have been tasked with helping to prepare the documents for the accountants who do our business owners' taxes. It wasn't until last night when the entire workbook was coming together and I was faced with trying to reconcile a difference of $60k, which by a large public accounting firm's materiality probably is meaningless or de minimis, but in our case, was definitely worth investigating.
I didn't think to ask anyone for help. I thought I could do it on my own. I do have a CPA (despite being inactive), and a reconciliation is accounting 101. As I took a break to study with Andy, he very discreetly reminded me that a prayer seeking some guidance from Heavenly Father might be a good idea. I'm not sure why I didn't think to do that, especially considering I had a HUGE work mess up in the morning that I quickly, sincerely, and humbly prayed about - mostly that it'd work out but that if it didn't, I wouldn't get fired, and if I did, that we'd have enough money to be okay anyway, and if not, that we'd be okay as is (you get the drift). I guess I knew with an error, it was a mistake I couldn't fix and needed assistance from above, whereas with this reconciling conundrum, I somehow figured I had the knowledge and ability to figure it out.
I quickly repented and humbly asked for help to solve it or forget about it until tomorrow. After conversing with God, I opened the computer and took another look. For some reason, I felt like I needed to understand the adjustments and then after doing that, I agreed out the W-2 wages for each employee once more. And a-ha! I corrected some numbers, added some missing ones, revisited the reconciling items I knew should be excluded or included, and then .....
my difference was down to $300.
That might be a lot to you and me on a personal level, but for accounting purposes for the business... it meant I could go to sleep, after giving thanks to God first, of course!
God always makes up that difference that we are unable to. I think I just sometimes forget, especially when I'm doing something I should know how to do. Something I know how to do. Something that seems silly to ask for help with.