Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Confessions of a Yelling Mom.

I yell at my kids.  Probably a lot more than you do.

I have read the articles about how you shouldn't yell, how you should reason, or provide options for them to choose from, how you should stay calm and use your inside voice, how you should be clear and concise and make physical contact with your child when giving instructions (like hold their hand and look into their eyes), and provide logical doable consequences for them not listening and responding accordingly and timely.  But you know what?  Sometimes a good old YELL does the same trick.

Yes, I've witnessed my own son snap at his brother or me when he's mad, a direct result of my own yelling and example, and yes I'm working on it, but boy does yelling feel good sometimes and does yelling get results.  Yelling feels good!  Isn't that what crying people say also?  That crying just feels good to get it out.  Well, same with yelling.  HOLLERRRRRR!!!

I wish I wasn't capable of yelling.  I wish I was a demure, passive, non-yelling type of mom.  Maybe the mom who cries when things are hard instead of raising her voice.  I've never been one to sit and cry about situations, instead I get mad and I get moving, and sometimes in the distant past, I get even.  But then I think of those kids who grow up and claim they don't ever remember their moms losing their tempers or yelling, and I wish I was one of those moms instead.

I made a lot of people cry before I made my own kids cry.  In the work place, it was associates mostly, maybe an intern or two... but, in my defense, I always had great upward feedback (but now that I think of it... maybe cuz they thought I'd make them cry if I received otherwise).  Whatever.  Kids are hard.  Kids are frustrating.  Kids don't listen.  They just stare and lollygag ALL DAY LONG.  And they cry when you yell or respond, but sometimes it's necessary to get things going.  But I never feel truly bad, I just go through the emotions of holding them or calming them, then talking to them about what just happened.  And yes, I apologize to my kids all the time and I get time-outs too.  I'm learning still, after all. 

I'll do my best to not yell tomorrow.  WE WILL SEE WHAT HAPPENS!

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