Monday, July 18, 2011

My Super Clutch Save

This Sunday, Andy had post-call so I was going to Church with Jordan alone. I embraced the opportunity to be punctual on my own (this will probably be a normal situation once we're in Residency) and prepared by taking a shower at 7:15 AM which gave me ample time to feed Jordan at 8 AM. One thing about Jordan these days is that he is becoming sillier when he feeds, often smiling, stopping to stare and ensure I am paying attention before he continues to eat. He will come off of the boob, look at me with his puppy eyes waiting for me to respond, and when I say something to him, he will smile, look around and then latch on again. He cracks me up but I try not to smile and instead sternly advise him it's time to eat, not play, and surprisingly he always looks as if he understands until the next time around.

Following his 8 AM feeding, I geared up to get him into his Sunday best but as I was getting ready to dress him, we were joined by the loud blast of his poop. His face was priceless - a sort of clench in his jaw which immediately turned into a glorified sigh of relief. I waited a couple of minutes, because he usually has more poop on its way and going too quickly to the diaper changing table spells trouble. As predicted, within mere seconds, a second blast of poop was heard. So I took him to his favorite place these days, the diaper changing pad.

Once on the pad, he looked up at me with excitement, probably because he now recognizes the routine and understands he will feel a lot better down below soon. I prepared by taking out two wipes which were to my right, then opening a new diaper to my left, proceeded to unbutton his onesie, opened his soiled diaper and carefully placed it to my right. He was all smiles and giggles as I changed him and then, his expression immediately changed. I braced myself, already knowing there was a huge possibility this meant more poop and without disappointing me, he started to poop more. Since his poop is not yet solid as he is only drinking milk, imagine a shade lighter than peanut butter (like almond butter) with a consistency of tomato soup - thick but still creamy and liquidy. At this point, my left hand is holding his two feet in the air and my right hand is holding a wipe, his butt is stil covered with poop, the clean diaper is to the left - ugh, too far, the soiled diaper is to the right - ugh, also too far, so I quickly think what else I can do. This is when I decide I will meticulously try to balance the one wipe I'm holding to rest on my palm instead of between my fingers and try my best to balance his watery poop.

Have you ever tried balancing a book on your head and walking down a straight line as you do so? That's how it felt... only my mind was racing with - please don't poop so much that there's no way I can catch this. Please don't kick too hard with your feet, I can do this (wouldn't have been a huge deal if I didn't - just messier and more time consuming to clean), please hurry and finish pooping! And then, just like that he was done. Only now, I had to carefully, with every ounce of balance and precision, move the wipe covered with liquified poop to the soiled diaper and drop it in. I even slowly moved my body with it, so that the jerk from my arm to the hands holding it would be smoother. I got closer... and closer... and then BAM - it was in!

I did it! The third poop was safe and sound in the soiled diaper, and I finished cleaning Jordan up. I dressed Jordan, changed my mind on outfits about five times (it's still hard with most of my stuff too tight!), quickly braided my bangs, put Jordan into the carseat, and off we went! It's as if Jordan knew Daddy was missing and was on extra good behavior getting to Church, through Sacrament and even the second hour of Church. He didn't start to get restless until the third hour, probably missing his Daddy who has been taking him to Elder's Quorum during the third hour for the last two weeks, and then, he just wanted to go outside and lay on the couch and stare at Jesus.

I am still smiling at my clutch save of the diaper that morning. It made my day! On the drive to Church, we even sang (well I sang but he was happy about it) made up songs about being punctual to Church according to the melody of "I Will Survive." It was pretty sweet. It went a little bit like this....

(keep in mind I improvised it...)

At first we were late, we never made it on time... Kept taking too much time to find out what we was gonna wear, we shoulda gotten ready sooner, we shoulda picked our clothes before, we shoulda prepped better, coulda made it to Church on time BUT NOW we are! We're on our way! We're gonna make it there before it starts, it feels so good on time! .....

It's what we did at the Ronald McDonald Camp for Good Times all the time, only our stuff rhymed more but hey, Jordan loved it!


Sarah said...

haha. Love this post! If someone's not a mother they probably don't get why this is so funny/such a proud moment, but I just love it!

Marina said...

Poop is always a hazardous situation - you're such a champ! Loved the play by play :)